how well do cancers deal with ultimatums?

Done with the silent treatment, unacceptable to me, just curious, do they do well with ground rules? Boundaries? Or just go deeper into hiding...

Depends on the nature of ultimatum

I made a fool of myself by telling im blunty in the face that I fall in love with him and that I want him. Now its up to him. To be honest you have nothing to lose, know your own boundaries before you set them gor others. But I think a cancer man should be answering this. I THINK a cancer might run when u set an ultimatum without gully confiding him into ur true feelings.

Ok it would something along the lines of..ignoring me is unacceptable, if we are together then we are going to be together! We will deal with issues as they'd arise, but I wont accept the rollercoaster..if he wants space that's fine as long as he reassures me he will come back and does not ignore me..something like that, but better constructed cuz my brain is in a fog right now. This is inspired by him saying he missed me and hates that we aren't talking yet still is pulling away dealing with whatever he needs to deal with, but then ignoring me.

Usually, ultimatums don't go over well. We hate feeling like we're being told what to do, and it often causes us to retreat into our shells. We're such sensitive creatures that you have to be careful about what you say and how you say it. We understand feelings, so calmly explaining how our behavior is making you feel (without pointing fingers or putting the blame on us) works better.

Ahhh..interesting.

I am also an extremely sensitive Pisces and am having a hard time understanding how someone can be so thoughtless and disrespectful. I can very much understand someone's feelings, but not if they keep it all buried inside..despite my attempts at getting it out..

Explain why a cardinal sign is not receptive to ultimatums..

It has not worked for me. Seems the two times I did it it was a surefire way to make him go off and hide in his shell. I asked him not to do it anymore because it hurts me. No go.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Ok it would something along the lines of..ignoring me is unacceptable, if we are together then we are going to be together! We will deal with issues as they'd arise, but I wont accept the rollercoaster..if he wants space that's fine as long as he reassures me he will come back and does not ignore me..something like that, but better constructed cuz my brain is in a fog right now. This is inspired by him saying he missed me and hates that we aren't talking yet still is pulling away dealing with whatever he needs to deal with, but then ignoring me.

When you say that he is ignoring you do you mean that he is avoiding holding a conversation with you about certain subjects when you are in his presence or are you saying that he is ignoring your phone calls, texts esc...

He talks for a bit then ignores my texts.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
He talks for a bit then ignores my texts.

I wouldn't give him a ultimatum. I first just let him know that it hurts my feelings when he ignores my texts. With any other sign I would have said that I feel disrespected when you ignore my texts but since you are dealing with a Cancer I would use the "it hurts my feeling phrase instead".

Gotcha.

Ultimatums are another form of manipulation IMO.

Dont give an ultimatum unless you are prepared to have your bluff called. and if he calls your bluff, be ready to leave.

Backtracking is a surefire way to lose respect.

Posted by CapricornLaurie
Ultimatums are another form of manipulation IMO.

Dont give an ultimatum unless you are prepared to have your bluff called. and if he calls your bluff, be ready to leave.

Backtracking is a surefire way to lose respect.

+1

Posted by CapricornLaurie
Ultimatums are another form of manipulation IMO.

In the context of the OP and this thread. I agree with you.
Sometimes, such as an intervention, its not a form of control but the final wake up alarm.

Dont give an ultimatum unless you are prepared to have your bluff called. and if he calls your bluff, be ready to leave.

Backtracking is a surefire way to lose respect.

click to expand

Totally agree here.

Posted by Arielle83
It just seems like a bunch of insecure control freaks attract cancer. That's true for me anyways.

People sense weakness

Posted by Arielle83
I'd laugh and end it.

Someone demanding I answer their texts all day is annoying. Maybe find something more productive? Find another source of happiness. Does he need to be in constant communication with you all day? Are you about to go into labour? Do you not work?

If he needs to pay attention to you and you take it as a slight against you because he doesn't answer in time, don't you think that's demanding. I don't know any cancer who does that. You might be pushing him away.

If he was answering her texts all day in the beginning of the relationship than he should continue to do the same. I would call him out if he has changed the way that he treats me. So people demand respect.

Posted by Arielle83
I'd laugh and end it.

Someone demanding I answer their texts all day is annoying. Maybe find something more productive? Find another source of happiness. Does he need to be in constant communication with you all day? Are you about to go into labour? Do you not work?

If he needs to pay attention to you and you take it as a slight against you because he doesn't answer in time, don't you think that's demanding. I don't know any cancer who does that. You might be pushing him away.

The OP never said that he was her only source or happiness but if they are going through a conflict yes he should stay in communication with her. But at the same time I have to remember your answer was coming from a submissive Cancer woman's aspect my answer is coming from a more dominant Leo woman's aspect. Two totally different personalities.

@canceronTheCusp. Agreed. I've given ultimatums as last resort as an intervention, when a relationship is on its last leg. At that point I really am ready to let it go if my bluff is called.

Posted by Arielle83
If you are more Leo, then I guess you demand attention.

I could care less. If you claim that to be "more submissive" that's your issue. It's more indifferent. I'm aware that ppl have lives and communication styles change. Routine isn't my thing so I don't see this as a big deal.

I was implying that you seem very submissive. I demand respect.

Posted by Arielle83
I said "find another source of happiness". Which can translate to: find something else to do with your time instead of focusing on why he hasnt answered your plethora of texts all day.

No where did I claim that the op only had him as a source of happiness.

Read!

I know exactly what you said but I read in between the lines on what it seems that you were implying. And I'm sure the OP has other things to do with her time but she wants to get clarification on what's going on in her relationship.

Posted by Arielle83
Maybe it's because I'm busy living and never text anyway. How would you survive back in 1995 when texting wasn't invented yet?

The fact is modern technology has created this demand on ppl to be constantly connected. Some ppl need their space and it sounds like a lot of cancer men need to fight for some breathing room.

I guess your right I never looked at it from that point of view. I just hate when people start a relationship answering texts then change. But when you do the same thing to them they get mad.

Posted by Arielle83
I was speaking in general. I'm def not a submissive cancer. I'm fire dominant. Don't even bother trying to compare your placements with me. You don't know me.

Plus it seems the needy always want a cancer. Why else would they need that much texting.

Ppl have lives and are busy.

What makes you think that I would ever want to bother and compare your placement with mine.

Thanks for defending me whoever has..im not even sure where to begin..except that I dont txt him.all day I have a life I have lots of other joys in my life so I don't really get the attacking and scrutinizing that goes on when asking a simple question. In a relationship communication needs to occur from time to time.and if needs aren't met its time to make choices, whether to stay or go. I'm not a control freak nor am I insecure...where do you people get this shit from?? Haaha..man..just simply wanted some insight..just a nice kind sensitive loving Pisces, tired of the bs cancer gams of hot/cold blah blah blah..enough is enough. YAWN!!

Being ignored for DAYS after ONE text isn't acceptable.

Thank you! Indeed.

what the hell is this BS

^no idea what yr talking about.. Naomi=FUCK yea..arielle=ultimatum last ditch effort to see if he'll be a decent human but I'm now realizing it's not even worth. Cut my losses and move on from a mindfucker.

When you're talking to a cancer or mentioning anything to Cancer you better had made a rough draft of what you were going to say first.. so many times I've had to apologize to this Cancer girl I talked to cause she felt as if I was "Telling" her what to do.