Did i lose my cancer love for good?

I'm a libra and i have been in a relation with a cancer guy for 5 yrs, we both were hiting on each other but he did the final move towards me after 2 mnths. We were talking on fone mostly on and off. We then started sexual relation after 18 mnths, but we were as sex buddies.everytime i disappear gr does manipulative things to make me call back and meet. 2 yrs ago he lost his job to continue his studies in which i paid the feed for him to finish and assisted him all the way financially and supported him emotionally. He became so close as we used to meet 12 hours continuously a day. He used to wake me up from the morning everyday in the 2 yrs to go drink coffee and spend the day with each other. I was assisting him to find adecent job. I so believed in him and loved him uncomditionally. And always made sure his confident and has everything infront of his friends. I found him 6 mnths ago a great job and made surr he was standing on his feet again, but after 2 mnths he told me that there is this girl- aries who wants to be his gf and he accepted. He promised me it wont be long cz he wont let go of me, but i started getting jealous and fightin for te first time in 5 yrs. he lost his job and we broke up 7 or more in these 2 months. He never admitted we in a relationship cz he believes we r beyond. & any gf he takes is limited. This july was massive fights. He knows how much i love him and adore him but he chose to stay with the girl. Last time we talked was a 2 weeks ago and he was so upset at me and told me he is lost and he does not want me in his life and wants to have a lonng sleep with this girl and this other life. I respected what he asked and left. I smsed yesterday to pik my stuff and he was so saaaas but didnt open his heart and told me leave and i asked him if he loves me and said no and he does not love himself either. I hugged him tight and told him ill always live him and be there for him but he left. I knee he lacks money so transferrd money today to his bank account but he never said anything. He keeps telling me that i should move on cz he is the one who drags me down.Today I'm looking for a job abroad and I'm thinkin of fighting for both & find him a new job with me. I love him. But does he meant it when he said does not love me and wldnt rememeber me? Noting that he keeps saying his heart is blocked after the death of his x 8 yrs ago. He lives next to me & i c her at his place daily. Am i out of his life for good? will he call me back?

Oh my gaaaawd... This is just redonkulous. I can't even say anything without being condescending and mean. Just let it go. Good advice for us both here.

@I found him 6 mnths ago a great job and made surr he was standing on his feet again, but after 2 mnths he told me that there is this girl- aries who wants to be his gf and he accepted.

Oh this is sad, I hate to say it but you did too much, helping a man too much can surely make him feel low inside, he feels so low that he doesn't even love himself around you, you are treating him like a child, like he's your son and that kind of behavior kills ATTRACTION, physically emotionally & mentally, I think on some level when he appreciated your help, he treated you well for several years but somewhere along the way he out grew it all, he doesn't need you anymore to help him, to support him, to give him money and now he just wants a real girlfriend, someone who doesn't help and expects more boyfriend which helps him push himself to be a better person versus someone like you whose holding his hands all the time and you're still doing it, you're thinking about getting him another job and he can get his own job, he's capable, he's not a cripple and you treat him like he is, I suggest you back off, don't find him a job and take care of yourself because when you constantly focus on taking care of a man, you appear to be NEGLECTING yourself, neglecting your life for the sake of sacrificing and saving HIM and for a man that feels as if you're saying to him he's incapable of taking care of himself, he feels weak inside, he feels like you're his babysitter or mom, he begins to feel bad about himself around you and if he can't love himself then he surely can't love you.

Even if he comes back you have to back off of saving him, you want a man not a boy and a man can't really feel like a man if you're constantly babysitting & holding his hands all the time, let him fall, he's capable of rising above the hard times all by himself and really that's all he's SAYING to you.

He love you, he's not in love with you and so he must move on and learn how to take care of himself on his own, he'll take your money and your help and in return you get nothing. This Aries woman has done NOTHING for him and she got everything, she got HIM, she got your man and she did nothing, she asserted her want to be in a relationship and he gave it to her. What does that tell you about you? You're doing too much and you got nothing in the end.

If you really love him, let him go, stop contacting him, look into finding a new place, get a new job and move on with your life and let him figure it all out by himself, no more depositing money in his account like your his mother, no more initiating text messages eg chasing him, no more, just stop it, this will probably be the hardest thing you've done thus far is stop babying him but you have to for the sake of love, for the sake of saving your relationship with him.

He's with another woman, respect that, allow him to have what he wants, he'll love you for letting him go and once the honeymoon is over which is typically between 6 & 8 months, sometimes sooner, he'll be back but while he's still with her, learn new relationship habits that will keep the attraction in your relationship with a man going, learn how to say NO to yourself when you feel like holding a mans hand and taking care of him too much. Use this time to change your own bad relationship habits so when he comes back you'll be prepared to love him in a way that doesn't make him feel terrible inside about himself.

He grew up and he left, sort of like what boys do when they out grow their mothers. You played mama and you lost your man, stop being his mom and you may just get your man back, it's not impossible but you'll have to back off.

All arseholes have the same star rign, you didn't need this forum to tell you that. You seem to be a good person, take your self-respect back and go find yourself an honest bloke.

Another thing, most people don't let go because of having invested time (2 years or 5 years or whatever). In the world of finance we call money spent sunk cost, it's gone. Never to be considered for future decisions. Move on before throwing some more of the quality time of your life on this kind of nonsense.

I simply love the guy and used to help him cz he wanted that. Until Mid july he was asking me to stay but all the time i was fighting cz i never wanted to be in this complicated situation, although he wanted to keep me in this relation as we were withvthe sexual part and which i refused. He told me his relation with the girl will never last and will end.
Even through the yrs he was always lost.
I'm so confused, i didnt want things to go like this when i helped him, and make him hate me but he was desprate. Me myself has lots of troubles as well and he helped me alot. He kept telling me to fight and find myself.

I do want this guy back. But did i totally lose him?

I understand what you mean Librana, I really do but the helping BACKFIRED on you, literally pushed him away into someone else's arms, he may have felt good in the beginning because you made everything easy for him but you must understand helping someone can CREATE feelings of resentment, if you help too much you LOSE your lover and turn into his mother, the mother energy will turn a man OFF, somewhere along the way you turned into his mother and if his relationship with is his mother is strained, not good, hard in sort of way then he'll project those feelings onto you and leave. You cannot be both, you can't be his lover and be his mother, do motherly things and expect to keep him around. It was convenient for him to stay but now he wants to go play.

Even if it doesn't last with this woman he's still taking you for granted, stringing you along as a SAFETY NET, so he can land EASY on his feet if things don't work out and he's being a complete jerk for attempting to hold onto you while he dates this other woman by telling you this relationship won't last with this other woman, clearly that's a LIE, he'd leave her if he thought that way, clearly he's trying to make it work with her because he's still with this woman, he's doing boyfriend stuff with YOUR MONEY with her, DON'T YOU SEE YOUR LOSING, you lost your money and your man, so now he know he can get money out of you if he feeds you hope of getting back together--he's manipulating you and that's completely selfish on his part, he wanted that money and he fed you HOPE that he would dump this woman at some point and come back to you and you turned around and supported him financially.

You haven't lost him, he'll stick around to get your support because you're all to willing to help him out. So don't worry, he'll be back to ask for money, sex, whatever he wants and he know you're all to willing to supply him with what he needs and all he has to do is pretend he wants you back when in reality he's attempting to support his habits, he's using you as a doormat/stepping stone.

You can wait for him if you want to but I suggest you get some help sorting your own stuff out so this guy can't manipulate and use you anymore.

Ur saying wt everyone telling me. The difference brtween me and this woman to him, is tht i was his secret in his life but this one is the one he is introducing to friends and things.
I tell u we spent lots and lots of time together. But getting over him is hard.
The problem is that this guy kept telling me that he is not a marriage material and thats y he would never be my bf cz eventually once he breaks up with his gfs they r out and doesnt want that yo happen to me. But now looking at it, he kept all and lost me.
He kept tellin me he lost me not i lost him. And I'm the one who drags u down.

I do want to let go and make him think clearly. How his life would be without me. But as a cancer man, would he really ever forget me and never come back? Does he really hate me?

One more thing to add, knowing cancer men, they so vague. But he was so open and honest eith me in verything. And thats y i loved him actually. I used to know every small detail and wvery single thought. He shared verything with me until july.
Whn i saw him so saaaad 2 days ago, i didnt know was it because i truly made him weak for helpin him or bcz he was leting go? Although all the time i was pushin him fwd! And he kept tellin me u taught me how not to fear!

He'll probably miss you, but it's probably stuck in his head now that things just won't work out between you two.

Don't let him lie to you, telling you he can't commit to being your bf. That's disrespectful to you because he's not committing and was still getting sexual stuff from you.

You can still love him, but I'd listen to reason and cut your losses. Have minimal contact with him, if that. You don't need to become emotionally dependent on a guy who doesn't respect you as a person and won't give you what you want. Do yourself a favor and take some time for you.

I just love him alot. And misses him alot.
I do wish him best of all and wanna see him achieving everthing he ever told me and wished.
I do wish that i didnt damage the guy as some just said. Cz i do know and he knows i was there when he reached the bottom phase in his life.
I hope he misses me and i do want to get this call from him wn he says i did it.

He is a cancer, he is moody, wants to be loved and admired. Yet as any other guy they let go of good to have fun and play!

Men play women who allow themselves to get played.

He played you for 5 years.. but you knew the situation and chose to believe his lies and remain his "little secret" because inside that is all you think you are worth.

Financially supporting someone, getting them jobs, being their mommy is not going to 'buy' someone's heart. He is indebted to you... that is not the same as loving you. Did you say you just sent him money? Now you think if you do more, like find him a job he will move away with you. You are desperately trying to hold on to something, hoping it would/will become something more than it is but really... hasn't it always been like this? And you'd be happy if it went back to it. No self respecting person would take that.

He was very honest with you... even in his lies. He told you how it would be and you accepted it... so you both played the game.

I'm so sick of reading shit like this. It is everywhere...

I'm sorry, I don't really have any sympathy for you... and think the guy is an asshole too. Like attracts like

Posted by Librana
Yet as any other guy they let go of good to have fun and play!

No, not every other guy does this. Some do.. and that is what you are attracting. Don't try and convince yourself that this is normal guy behaviour