cappygirl11
@cappygirl11
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 39
I have a chance to fix my relationship. Please hel
Posted by cappygirl11
Ok I destroyed my relationship. Totally gutted it. It's been a month of no communication from him. I have been texting and begging for forgiveness. Even sent him a teddy.
He agreed to meet me for 10 minutes yesterday. And said he regretted been in a relationship with me....its been a waste of the last 5 years. He's put off relationships forever and never wants to see me again.
After I cried apologised and begged....He said ok we go on 2 dates and see if he developed any feelings again.
is this a good sign. Does he want to try again?
How can I make it work....i love him so much and am so so sorry
OMG, how old are you? Girl, please, never cry infront of a man again. Never beg a man!!! And don't go on his 2 CHARITY dates. No man respects a desperate woman. You unwittingly gave him all the power with your begging & crying.
Now, get a hold over yourself. Don't contact him again. Give it time & you'll be just fine.
What did you do that's so bad because he may want revenge? To make you feel what he felt maybe...
He never abused me. He loved and cherished me and treated me like a princess. He took me to is Indonesia for Xmas and to china for new year.
Then one day I made plans. He said tenative cause he might have to work the night. He called to say he was going to work the night and 5 years of stuff I never meant to say came rolling out. And my capricorn.. crazy person ended my life literally
Then one day I made plans. He said tenative cause he might have to work the night. He called to say he was going to work the night and 5 years of stuff I never meant to say came rolling out. And my capricorn.. crazy person ended my life literally
Also we already discussed the 2 dates r meant to reconcile or give up.
Btw....i wasn't the only one crying. ...He blinked away his tears....i had a river of them and couldn't.
I hurt my baby over something so stupid. I can't believe I hurt him
Btw....i wasn't the only one crying. ...He blinked away his tears....i had a river of them and couldn't.
I hurt my baby over something so stupid. I can't believe I hurt him
Posted by cappygirl11
Also we already discussed the 2 dates r meant to reconcile or give up.
Btw....i wasn't the only one crying. ...He blinked away his tears....i had a river of them and couldn't.
I hurt my baby over something so stupid. I can't believe I hurt him
It needs 2 dates to discuss THAT? What, does he have a stutter or something? Odd. Anyway, good luck with your dates. But I still think he doesn't deserve them just for making you grovel & the 10 minutes thing. Ugh.
You went off a him for needing to work?
i'm still trying to wake you up...
5 years in which he never introduced you to his family.
if sth so trivial, made a rational cappy go crazy...it means there have been many things boiling down for years...
maybe your tantrum only gave him the opportunity to get out of sth he didn't really wanted...
china, indonisia? hey...we live in the 21st century...people take sb on holiday just...not to be alone...was it you or he who wanted bad/had the idea of going there?
anyway...a man who wants a relationship doesn't leave it just...because the woman lost her temper one night...
wake up...
5 years in which he never introduced you to his family.
if sth so trivial, made a rational cappy go crazy...it means there have been many things boiling down for years...
maybe your tantrum only gave him the opportunity to get out of sth he didn't really wanted...
china, indonisia? hey...we live in the 21st century...people take sb on holiday just...not to be alone...was it you or he who wanted bad/had the idea of going there?
anyway...a man who wants a relationship doesn't leave it just...because the woman lost her temper one night...
wake up...
Posted by WaterCupPosted by cappygirl11
Also we already discussed the 2 dates r meant to reconcile or give up.
Btw....i wasn't the only one crying. ...He blinked away his tears....i had a river of them and couldn't.
I hurt my baby over something so stupid. I can't believe I hurt him
It needs 2 dates to discuss THAT? What, does he have a stutter or something? Odd. Anyway, good luck with your dates.click to expand
😆!!!!
Why do simple, when complicated is so much fun......
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by WaterCupPosted by cappygirl11
Also we already discussed the 2 dates r meant to reconcile or give up.
Btw....i wasn't the only one crying. ...He blinked away his tears....i had a river of them and couldn't.
I hurt my baby over something so stupid. I can't believe I hurt him
It needs 2 dates to discuss THAT? What, does he have a stutter or something? Odd. Anyway, good luck with your dates.
😆!!!!
Why do simple, when complicated is so much fun......click to expand
IKR
> of this:
Posted by cappygirl11
So we been together 5 years. But he hasn't bother to introduce me to his family or anyone....and then picked a fight with mine.
So eventually it was all just to much.... i exploded....i brought up every issue for the last 5 years told him he ruins my relationship with everyone I'm close to. That's he's cold and calculating. That he ruins all special moments etc. Plus more and more.
He said he thought I was happy and didn't know I was this unhappy. And we should split up. I agreed.
Then to make it worse I summarised all of the above and sent it to him in an email. Then I sent 10 texts saying I was happy he was gone.
Then 3 days later when my rage was over I realised I f...Ed up. And all the good bits came back to my mind
So to fix the damage I sent 2 sweet emails and then I texted him 20 times saying sweet things. Then I sent him chocolates.
was because of this:
Posted by cappygirl11
Then one day I made plans. He said tenative cause he might have to work the night. He called to say he was going to work the night and 5 years of stuff I never meant to say came rolling out.
Oh, you meant it. But let's entertain this for a few seconds. So, you??re now saying it was because of plans going sour that led to this "explosion"? Okay. If that was the case, why not address the plans that were ruined like an adult? The man did tell you beforehand he may have to work, so it wasn't a surprise. It's not as if the man was continously ignoring you, mistreated you and refused to spend time with you:
Posted by cappygirl11
He loved and cherished me and treated me like a princess. He took me to is Indonesia for Xmas and to china for new year.click to expand
con't
What's even more interesting is you chose to start your initial post discussing the fact that he hasn't introduced you to his family —or anyone?? and point out how much he has ruined your relationships (😕 still fuzzy about that)---all things you "didn't mean to bring up" to him, but you did to us and there is no mention of the cancelled plans, the actual issue that set this all of this in motion. So which is it? He's a great guy that loves and cherishes you and you didn't mean to say those things because they aren't the issue, or they are an issue and rather than address them at the time when they were a problem for you, you blew up?
As I stated, you meant it. You just didn't think you would regret it. Seriously look at what you wrote. You didn't just blow up at the man because he cancelled plans, you sent an email then 10 texts to rub that f*cker in where it hurts. That's like accidently hitting something, then running over it a few more times and claiming you didn't mean to hit it. Lol??_.I can't.
As for not meeting his family, I'm not gonna touch that because not everyone is close to their family. It is not always the case where not meeting someone's family is a reflection of their commitment and dedication to you. This story had too many issues though....
What's even more interesting is you chose to start your initial post discussing the fact that he hasn't introduced you to his family —or anyone?? and point out how much he has ruined your relationships (😕 still fuzzy about that)---all things you "didn't mean to bring up" to him, but you did to us and there is no mention of the cancelled plans, the actual issue that set this all of this in motion. So which is it? He's a great guy that loves and cherishes you and you didn't mean to say those things because they aren't the issue, or they are an issue and rather than address them at the time when they were a problem for you, you blew up?
As I stated, you meant it. You just didn't think you would regret it. Seriously look at what you wrote. You didn't just blow up at the man because he cancelled plans, you sent an email then 10 texts to rub that f*cker in where it hurts. That's like accidently hitting something, then running over it a few more times and claiming you didn't mean to hit it. Lol??_.I can't.
As for not meeting his family, I'm not gonna touch that because not everyone is close to their family. It is not always the case where not meeting someone's family is a reflection of their commitment and dedication to you. This story had too many issues though....
Posted by PhoenixRising
As for not meeting his family, I'm not gonna touch that because not everyone is close to their family. It is not always the case where not meeting someone's family is a reflection of their commitment and dedication to you. This story had too many issues though....
very true...
The thing with some Capricorn women is they have very high standards in relationships and sometimes the more you give them... the more they expect.
As a Cancers, I had a Cappy friend who I had to pull back and keep somethings reserved to myself because she wanted to be involved with all aspects of my life. She did this with all her boyfriends too over time and it can be too much.
I think your ex meant what he said and you can never undo what happened. THe level you took it to is scarring to even read. The 2 dates are either a) pity dates because you were so emotional he couldn't handle it , so gave you something to hope for. Or b) he's going to turn around and hurt you the same way you hurt him. We can be vengeful, especially if you keep pushing.
Neither are good
Posted by mz
i'm still trying to wake you up...
5 years in which he never introduced you to his family.
if sth so trivial, made a rational cappy go crazy...it means there have been many things boiling down for years...
maybe your tantrum only gave him the opportunity to get out of sth he didn't really wanted...
china, indonisia? hey...we live in the 21st century...people take sb on holiday just...not to be alone...was it you or he who wanted bad/had the idea of going there?
anyway...a man who wants a relationship doesn't leave it just...because the woman lost her temper one night...
wake up...
100% agree. Ok. Your the chick holding on to a man who won't introduce you to his family or friends. This begging to be forgiven reeks of desperation and it's never but never going to work out. Until you face the music and build up some self-esteem you will be a weepy door mat. Is that what you want? Like MZ said, "WAKE UP."
The people commenting here with advice don't realize you've socked 5 years into a man who hasn't introduced you to anyone that matters to him. They don't understand this is a complete and utter waste of your time and energy. And no amount of support or advice is going to turn the proverbial sow's ear into pearls.
Posted by Este8
The people commenting here with advice don't realize you've socked 5 years into a man who hasn't introduced you to anyone that matters to him.
I understand that this person is not telling 100% truth in her account, so for you to ignore the inconsistencies in her posts and chose to fully believe the 1 line she initially said about not meeting his friends & family, shows you are not realizing the full story.
She's changed her account to say that this was about him giving a tentative yes to plans, then having to work and cancelling. She's never elaborated further on the family and friends comment. So what is true? Her freak out and desperation to reconnect withe Cancer seem dramatic and over the top.
I have a feeling her comment about not meeting friends and family is equally exaggerated.
Posted by TigerCap
Posted by cappygirl11
I have brought up the issues before. He didn't care. He had his say too much. I'm not ready for this and that.
In what way? Directly or indirectly? Give us an example please.
That is standard men talk. You should have drawn a line in the sand right there.
Posted by cappygirl11
Like y don't I get to meet ur brother. The reply is...5 years ago when we went to lunch I invited u and u didn't come. We haven't had a formal lunch since hen
Based on the initial thread, it sounds like she wants thing on her schedule:
Posted by cappygirl11
So to fix the damage I sent 2 sweet emails and then I texted him 20 times saying sweet things. Then I sent him chocolates.
I hadn't gotten a single reply.
Then he said he will call me to discuss stuff or get closure when he is ready.
Now this was yesterday. I texted him asking if he's ready today. And got no reply.
How long do cancers take. I want to get a move on and know if it's thru or not.
click to expand
She wasted her own time and energy. She also tried to make it seem as though the man made no effort to introduce her to the people in his life. When he did invite her and she didn't go what did that look like? Did she decline respectfully or indirectly tell the man to bugger off? What other ways did he make an effort? She hasn't shared that. If TigerCap hadn't asked we wouldnt have even known that much. Whateve. Like I stated, too many issues...
Yes many issues including pulling someone off a ventilator the next day.
Point been I love him so much. I would give my soul to take back what I have done
Point been I love him so much. I would give my soul to take back what I have done
And the thing is in that moment 5 years of messed up stuff came out
No. 1we are all human and we cry? Has no one on this feed had an overwhelming flood of emotion that it couldn't be contained? It's okay to cry. Just not often and over every single thing.
No 2. The one thing you shouldn't have done is beg. That's a big no-no. You only beg your mama. She gave you life.
No 3. Compose yourself. Take the opportunity to breathe. If he wasn't interested in you being in his life again, he wouldn't bother. Why would he waste money on dates? Why would he waste time with someone just for the sake of it? You've been together for years. He knows how you are. he is still hurt and he wants to see if he has the capacity to forgive you in that time that you spend together. Compose yourself and apologise to him and next time don't blow up, don't hold it all in- communicate when it happens. Tell him if something is bothering you that very minute so you can solve/ overcome the issue and move on.
No 4. *breathe*
No 2. The one thing you shouldn't have done is beg. That's a big no-no. You only beg your mama. She gave you life.
No 3. Compose yourself. Take the opportunity to breathe. If he wasn't interested in you being in his life again, he wouldn't bother. Why would he waste money on dates? Why would he waste time with someone just for the sake of it? You've been together for years. He knows how you are. he is still hurt and he wants to see if he has the capacity to forgive you in that time that you spend together. Compose yourself and apologise to him and next time don't blow up, don't hold it all in- communicate when it happens. Tell him if something is bothering you that very minute so you can solve/ overcome the issue and move on.
No 4. *breathe*
"I understand that this person is not telling 100% truth in her account, so for you to ignore the inconsistencies in her posts and chose to fully believe the 1 line she initially said about not meeting his friends & family, shows you are not realizing the full story. She's changed her account to say that this was about him giving a tentative yes to plans, then having to work and cancelling. She's never elaborated further on the family and friends comment. So what is true? Her freak out and desperation to reconnect withe Cancer seem dramatic and over the top. I have a feeling her comment about not meeting friends and family is equally exaggerated."
I can't imagine why someone would lie about not meeting their SO's family and friends after being "together" for 5 years. If true, there is no relationship here. There's just a terribly messed up co-dependent fuck buddy with benefits situation. If she is lying about that then she's got bigger problems than whether this relationship is going to magically manifest into something real or good. If this relationship were going to work out it would have done so years ago. Her self esteem is in the gutter because she's allowing herself to stay in a situation that's never gonna make her happy. She's disempowering herself by staying with a man who won't introduce her to family or friends. That's not intimacy nor building a life together.
I can't imagine why someone would lie about not meeting their SO's family and friends after being "together" for 5 years. If true, there is no relationship here. There's just a terribly messed up co-dependent fuck buddy with benefits situation. If she is lying about that then she's got bigger problems than whether this relationship is going to magically manifest into something real or good. If this relationship were going to work out it would have done so years ago. Her self esteem is in the gutter because she's allowing herself to stay in a situation that's never gonna make her happy. She's disempowering herself by staying with a man who won't introduce her to family or friends. That's not intimacy nor building a life together.
Shellshocker, No offense but for to help someone you don't even believe is telling you the truth means you have to pick & choose what you want to believe, which means you're shooting darts in the dark. Please tell me you at least consulted the Ouiji board before you responded to her posts. Me? I go by what a person says cuz if you can't trust even what they share, skewed as it always is, there's nothing to base your analysis on.
Thank you caster and fiestypiesces.
You guys seem to understand.
And yes I can't communicate. But all the things I told him none were my feelings...
You guys seem to understand.
And yes I can't communicate. But all the things I told him none were my feelings...
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He agreed to meet me for 10 minutes yesterday. And said he regretted been in a relationship with me....its been a waste of the last 5 years. He's put off relationships forever and never wants to see me again.
After I cried apologised and begged....He said ok we go on 2 dates and see if he developed any feelings again.
is this a good sign. Does he want to try again?
How can I make it work....i love him so much and am so so sorry