I think my cancer friend is gone. Number changed

She warned me she was going to weed out the people who cause trouble in her life and I might be one of them. She changed her number and she didn't update me with the new one. When she changed it last time she told me before she was going to change it and then gave me the number immediately afterwards. Now it's just changed and no response. She already told me that she trashed all her email accounts and got new ones. And she might change er Facebook. Damn. Is this probably what happened or am I tripping? She has been making huge changes in her life and I think pulling the weeds was the last step so I think she's done. Her lease is also up soon and I remember her mentioning moving. I'm kinda flippin out.

Posted by StarChild63
She warned me she was going to weed out the people who cause trouble in her life and I might be one of them. She changed her number and she didn't update me with the new one. When she changed it last time she told me before she was going to change it and then gave me the number immediately afterwards. Now it's just changed and no response. She already told me that she trashed all her email accounts and got new ones. And she might change er Facebook. Damn. Is this probably what happened or am I tripping? She has been making huge changes in her life and I think pulling the weeds was the last step so I think she's done. Her lease is also up soon and I remember her mentioning moving. I'm kinda flippin out.

How have you caused her trouble though?

DamnZit. How could I stop this? I caused her lots of trouble. The bs from my ex posting her pictures...I ruined maybe 3 of her coulda been relationships...I pushed her when she dudnt want to be pushed...I tried to be more then a friend even when she told me she didn't want me. I'm a pretty shitty person and I was possessive and controlling of her and I made demands even when I didn't have any right to give demands. I did a lot. Plus she has gone through a lot this year and I think she's finally done with chaos and broken relationships. She speaks different she's even different in her energy. Something definately changed and I want her back but I know I fucked that up all the way. She really shoulda cut me off years ago. But I'm really a changed man and I want another chance. I know she's taking everything in her life so much more seriously it's probably true. Damn.

I was getting over it. I am just saying as a friend for her to disappear on me. And I know I was wrong and deserve this but I was going to show her that I can be just a friend and a good friend and make up for it. Guess I just got to get over it. It's over. It's all over. I really can't shake this. It's really painful. But I first have to know if she's really cutting me off or if her phones broken. I forgot my login info and I can't get into my email or Facebook to reach her that way. I hope she still uses that Facebook page. But thinking she probably would change that too cuz all the drama and stalkers. Damn. I do have the new dudes number. You think he'll give me the number? I know I'm breaking boundaries here but I'm flippin out.

Maybe

If it makes you feel better, I have had this happen with a cancer friend. I was at fault and she cut the cord with me. I felt she was being heavy-handed and a year later when she returned I decided not to resume the friendship. I guess the moral of the story is, it may seem like a loss now, but perhaps it is the best course to take and you will know in hindsight. But for now, let it end if that is what must happen.

I got everything I wanted to know answered I just didn't think it would end so soon. Moral of the story is don't complicate things for no reason. It' is torture and I'm going to get over it. But I will never get over her. That's fact.

Wow - did she seriously do that after she introduced you to her significant other just the other day? I thought things were just amazing between you guys.
All said and done her move was thoughtless and you are tortuing yourself!
You may think that the world is coming to an end but its just a new beginning.

This. Does not sound right after what just happened. Try not to freak out just yet. What did she say to you when she said she might cut a lot of people out of her life exactly? I think you need to give it a few.

the cancer repeatedly told StarChild she will never like him more than a friend and to please respect her boundaries. Gave him plenty of chances too.

starchild meets the new boyfriend and tells him that he loves the Cancer and won't stop trying. Blatantly disregarding her wishes while challenging the new guy and disrespecting their budding relationship.

didn't she kick you in the head once, starchild? so stubborn, just wouldn't listen cause it wasn't what you wanted to hear

she had no other choice but to cut you off and put herself and her new relationship first. your respect for her was all words... zero actions

it happens

I sent her a dick pic after the talk with new dude. That's probably what did it. I foRgot I did that that night. I was drunk. I just hope that wasn't the last. Your all right tthough she really should get rid of me. I called the new dude and asked if she changed her number and all he said was yes she did. Then I asked if I can have the new number all he said was no. I tried to talk and he kept saying no then hung up on me. Damn. So she really is gone. I feel like a asshole and I jut want to tell her how sorry I am. I thought new dude was cool with me tho.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure those pic shots never work out well.... Oh well, I wouldn't well on it more at this point.

Posted by LostBull
This. Does not sound right after what just happened. Try not to freak out just yet. What did she say to you when she said she might cut a lot of people out of her life exactly? I think you need to give it a few.

She said a lot of positive stuff was happening In her life and she realized she can rule the world if she wanted to and that she finally decided that she wanted to. She said she figured out she's been sabatoging her life by having people in her life that are always causing drama fear confusion or problems for her. She wants her book and her business to be successful and she wants to start settling down in the next few years. She said she was done with having any relationships with anyone that are distant, purposeless, outgrown or holds her back from letting her give and receive genuine love. She said she's ready to go on adventures and take the world. She was also getting more artistic and expressive. I saw some shots she did recently and she just keeps getting better and better. I could see her famous for more then a few things in the next 1-3 years. She used to play herself down a lot because her accomplishments and talents. It sounds like the more people found out she was multi talented the more men have her attention she didn't want and women hated on her. She's brilliant. And most people don't know how brilliant because she keeps it hidden. I'm sure they know it but they just have no clue how deep she is. Just a page or two out her book will make you sit and think for a hour and then after think it for 3 days after. Anyway she was saying she was tired of hiding herself from the world and tired of putting other people's wants over hers and her priorities. She has a bucket list she started working from and her photography is getting so good that she's going to start traveling for pictures. She's making a lot of changes with her health too and she's getting ready to make body changes. I guess she's just growing up and going after what she really wants. And she's not apologizing for it I see.

Posted by rabidtalker
Yeah, I'm pretty sure those pic shots never work out well.... Oh well, I wouldn't well on it more at this point.

I should've known. She doesn't like sexting but I guess I thought I could shock her and make her want me.

Oh no! You really had confirmed a solid friendship with her. A dick pic! No! That is why, and I agree. I do think she is gone forever. I am sorry. According to you she is not even sleeping with the new guy. There is absolutely no way she shows enough respect for herself to not sleep with this guy but is going to be okay with your picture. Damn. For me, even if I was really Into a guy I would possibly immediately get rid of him if he sent a dick pic. It feels like an invasion of personal space.

Any chance you did a little subconscious self sabotage? Maybe as much as you want her friendship something deep inside of you was brought out when you drank. Maybe it was a part of you trying to force you to let go. I mean that was a drastic move, something that would force no contact ever again. Somrthing inside if you had to know that. Sorry.

FUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! I just remembered that I did that. I think new dude kinda pissed me off with his presence when he hasn't even known her for 3 months yet. He's a good dude but he's trying to claim her right under my nose and I guess I just list it. Maybe it does make me sick. She found mr perfect and maybe I'm jealous. He told me he didn't tell her but he's planning to take her to Italy to meet his family in the fall and told me she really loves his authentic Italian cooking. Pissed me off. He was just throwing it up in my face. I hated that everytine we would go out she would be walking near me so it felt like video vixen arm candy that lots of guys wanted but could only look at. It is a pleasure to just be a simple part of her life and now that's all gone. I hate how he just kissed her like that in front of me and everyone else just like nothing. Shit pissed me off. Where did he come from and how did he get so close to her so fast. I was hoping it was infatuation and will for down quick but it hurt me when I saw they were really good for each other and they are moving slow so I know they both know it's not just infatuation. I bet right now she stayed out all night and is going to go have more fun all throughout the weekend. I'm kinda salty she left her job and now she has the free time to have as much fun as she wants to have and this woman is a fun 24/7 person. I think next week their going camping and hiking. At least he didn't get introduced to her kid yet. And for her birthday she's doing a beach writers circle thing and it's killing me. I had big plans for her birthday. But after writing all this I see I'm cray cray and I see why she deleted me out.

I agree. You are the reason she changed her number. I feel really sad about that. Yeah, they can drive you crazy. There is nothing you can do now that will not make the situation worse. You can't repair this.

I'm really sorry to read this, but considering what I've read I'm really not surprised. Just have to sit back and respect her actions and hope some time in the future she can be able to overcome all this and talk to you again one day.

Posted by shellshocker
the cancer repeatedly told StarChild she will never like him more than a friend and to please respect her boundaries. Gave him plenty of chances too.

starchild meets the new boyfriend and tells him that he loves the Cancer and won't stop trying. Blatantly disregarding her wishes while challenging the new guy and disrespecting their budding relationship.

didn't she kick you in the head once, starchild? so stubborn, just wouldn't listen cause it wasn't what you wanted to hear

she had no other choice but to cut you off and put herself and her new relationship first. your respect for her was all words... zero actions

it happens

Leave it to the little troll in me... @shellshoker - I cannot agree more with your words!!

I started reading this post by mistake, but here i am for all those who have not here long enough, her behavior is not a cancer thing like I told this little retard many times in the past (for about a year) any girl with lots of self love and respect regardless the sign would have done that, he was disrespectful, nosy, intrusive, dramatic, stubborn, needy, stalking, creepy, psycho, sick and obsessive... he crossed several basic lines many times and he thought he can get away with that... I wouldn't even surprise me if in the future she file a restraining order agains him, but he was arrogant, cocky and full of shit that thought he has her all figurate it out... like a cooking recipe... now she have a man to have her back, no like she needed one anyways... Im so surprise the guy was so chill and dandy to pick up the phone to this obsessive creep... I would've gather 4 or 5 of my buddies and beat the shit out this creep who is sending dick pics to my chick and also had the audacity to call me to get her new number... to teach him boundaries!!!

like I've said in the past when this little prick run his mouth on me... he always justifying questionable behavior on being drunk or high...

life is not fear... but karma is, and she is a b*tch.... nothing to see here...

SHUT THE FUCK FULLWATERBITCH I AINT TALKING TO YOU AND MAYBE I AM FUCKING CRAZY I AM CRAZY ABOUT HER AND SHES GOING TO BE ALLLLL MINEEEEEEEEEEEE. FUCK YOU ALL IM GETTING OFF THIS SOTE ANYWAY. YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME AND YOU DONT KNOW MYYYYYYYYY FRIEND. ITS EASY TO SEE THE PEOBLEM CLEARLY WHEN GOVING ADVICE BUT ITS HARD TO TAKE IT. IIM GOING TO MAKE HER HAPPY AGAIN.

^^^^ delusional...

All your talk and all your stories and your multiple aliases (aka thejoker) proof that you completely loose it up there...

God forbid we ever meet i will be scared of my life.... You are absolutely crazy... The scary kind

Someone with a little bit of self love would've move on... She cut you lose because she want to be happy instead of taking care of a pathetic insecure person who refuse to take care of himself...

Do the world a freaking favor and go find yourself a good shrink before you go on rampage and kill someone... Nothing wrong with accepting that you have a problem before your problem affect others.

I'm signing up for therapy on Monday. I'm crazy and all that. Your right. I need healing. My cancers a healer. And a good one. So good that after she gives you the medicine and your healed next your a fiend looking for that next highs she's a drug and she knows it. I feel absolute peace and love when she's around and everybody says the same. She makes me high just like any other drug. I love her. I know she's not attracted to me but I could be in a relationship with her with no sex. She can even have a sex slave for all the wild sex she wants. As long as she's stays by my side and has all if my babies um good. Maybe my mom can help me. I know she hates me real bad. Every year she just more distant and distant till she dropped me. I hate all cancers. Now I'm going to trash them all. Fucking ungrateful bastards don't know a good man when they see one. I'm going to marry her.

Help me.

You are WRONG!!!! love is not possession, love is to see her happy even if is not with you... NO one in this world will help you, you are the only one responsible to help yourself...

I've told you are needy, pushy, nosy, that is the most unattractive and suffocating thing a person could be... people will love you when you learn to love yourself above anyone in this world...

Well, drunk rape and now unsolicited dick pics, plus stalking her via her bf. I'm surprised she doesn't have a restraining order.

Posted by MoonArtist
Well, drunk rape and now unsolicited dick pics, plus stalking her via her bf. I'm surprised she doesn't have a restraining order.

Thanks chica!!! thats what I've said... Yeah is just because all this new users have not read all the kind of BS this guy has done

@binota please read, I was the first one who told him to get a freaking shrink... he is gacko!!!! I don't pamper him doing so is just enable him...

Posted by Arielle83
Drunk rape?!?!

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?

Remember the Aqua Japanese guy who was madly obsessed with his Cancer friend (also a black gal), and she was passed out drunk, so he had sex with her and she beat him up later, and he was asking how to get his friendship with her back? Notice any uncanny similarities? He's Asian.....she's black. He's Aqua.....she's cancer. I think this is the same guy.

I don't treat him with love and compassion because this POS person talk shit about me and rejoice because I lost my best friend... he felt so cocky about how he had his friend all figurative out and stuff... karma is a bitch... but even back then he needed professional help, now I think he is so freaking unstable he is dangerous... obsessive people are scary...

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Arielle83
Drunk rape?!?!

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?

Remember the Aqua Japanese guy who was madly obsessed with his Cancer friend (also a black gal), and she was passed out drunk, so he had sex with her and she beat him up later, and he was asking how to get his friendship with her back? Notice any uncanny similarities? He's Asian.....she's black. He's Aqua.....she's cancer. I think this is the same guy.

click to expand

Oh yeah. "Japansbestkeptrapist(errrr...secret).

I didn't see the post from "Starchild" about the black girl. Did see the part about the drunk sex.
If it is the same person, he's been crafty under the new name.
But eventually masks fall off.....

Strangely he has been an advocate for the cancer men and women around here. Yes, he messed up. Leave him be. He is passing through empugh trauma than having to handle all of our snide comments.
Lets just give him his space.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by MoonArtist

Posted by Arielle83
Drunk rape?!?!

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?

Remember the Aqua Japanese guy who was madly obsessed with his Cancer friend (also a black gal), and she was passed out drunk, so he had sex with her and she beat him up later, and he was asking how to get his friendship with her back? Notice any uncanny similarities? He's Asian.....she's black. He's Aqua.....she's cancer. I think this is the same guy.

Oh yeah. "Japansbestkeptrapist(errrr...secret).

I didn't see the post from "Starchild" about the black girl. Did see the part about the drunk sex.
If it is the same person, he's been crafty under the new name.
But eventually masks fall off.....

click to expand

Yes, "japansbestkeptsecret".
Starchild has let some details about her slip out while in obsessive bragging mode, including hints about her looks, who she's connected to, etc. Then his supposed ex gf posted pics of her (but it could have been starchild with an alt account). The thread got flagged and deleted. Anyway, the style of begging for help on how to woo her, how to get her gifts, etc. has been uncannily similar to japansbestblahblahblah, and the other similarities are too much of a coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences.

I hope you're doing ok StarChild

Posted by shellshocker
I hope you're doing ok StarChild

He needs help. Professional help.

I'm sure he does need help.

But his friend really cared about him and cutting him off was probably extremely hard for her and a decision not taken lightly. You can speculate all you want on their relationship but they were tight, no doubt about it. He had many accurate and insightful ideas about Cancers (besides the obvious bias) and a lot of it came straight from her mouth.

It's too bad it had to end this way

There were several instances where i didnt agree with him either, but that never stopped me from admiring his efforts to show us what he thought to be right. I agree with shellshocker that he had several accurate insights.
Yes, what he did was wrong and there is no doubt about that. But what right do any of us here have to pass judgment on him without walking a mile in his shoes.
Give him his space to figure out how to resolve this and if we cannot help at least let us not condemn.

I knew who Starchild was. We really shouldn't be so judgemental. He's aware now of his problem. I hope he really is getting help so he can be happy. Most of his posts about his friend were sad.

The crab whisperer thing got on my nerves though. We are not all in the same group. Each one of us has some different way of how we live and act. I wish these broken hearted little girls would grasp that too. They would be so much happier if they understood it's the person and how they were raised not their star sign.

Good Starchild. The first step is awareness, next step is healing. And not to encourage but just because she blocked (can you really blame her?) doesn't mean it's forever. But I would highly suggest you get that help you said you needed.

Oh I'm right there with you girl. I didn't excuse that part.

It will pass. Real love do not hurt anyone.