Is he interested or not?

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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

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I have a friend who's a Cancer who I've asked on a date via text. I thought it could be fun. He said he wouldn't mind, but there's no point because we already know each other and we've already established we didn't like each other. I asked if that was a yes or no..simple lol. He said no. I dropped it. Later I started talking to a Taurus and he knew about it and then a week later I wasn't. I was upset about the situation and talked to the Cancer about it and how the Taurus wasted my time. A week later me and the Cancer hung out and he brought up us going on a date, saying he wouldn't mind but we already know each other....ok?? Idk why he said that again but I just didn't answer. The next week he asked about the Taurus guy and I told him we were done. This past Saturday we hung out, he asked about Taurus again.I asked why was he asking and he was silent. I said we were done. 30 minutes later he asked if we did anything. I said no. He asked if we kissed and I said no. Lately now when I text him , he'll text back for a little bit then not answer..so I haven't texted him in 2 days and he hasn't contacted me either. It might seem dramatic but I'm tired of the random ignoring I asked him if something was wrong before and he said no...so what gives? I'm not texting him anymore just to get ignored lol
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by Moonbutter
I'm trying to get the big picture here...why did he say "we already established we didn't like each other." That seems to be a ? in all this for me. And is in contradiction with his latter behaviour.



Well there's a lot history I had a crush on him, then I didn't...we stopped being friends then we were again. We become fwb and sometime after that we stopped talking then we made up and he asked me if I liked him and I said no. So he's just referring to that conversation we had awhile ago.
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by thinktoomuch
Well... Since he has point blank told you, that going on a date would be a only friends, I would say: no, he is not into you. He probably thought, you were gonna get with that taurus or whatever, and when he found out, you weren't, he got nervous that you didn't because you want to be with him (cancer in question) and now has vanished for a time.



I've dealt with the Taurus guy many times before, and he always knew...never acted this way. I asked him on the date before I dealt with Taurus again, he said no, and I never brought it up. He constantly kept bringing it up, and the Taurus guy. I didn't think it was that serious he said no, and I was like ok.
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
He texted me last night if I was off today so we could hang out I said I work 1-7, he said ok nvm. I tried to start a conversation but he didn't answer so I said ok ttyl. Then he suddenly answers "at work" awhile later Ireplied "Oh I figured you were doing that thing"(ignoring) he said "nah I was just working, I'm off now"...never comments on any message I sent. I said "oh ok...nvm about what I said earlier", meaning the convo I was trying to have. No response. hmmm
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Moonbutter
@Moonbutter
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Ok, this kinda makes sense to me what is going on...Cancers like to go sideways, backwards, but hardly ever straight for what they want in (love matters). We like to examine all sides so we poke here, then we like to reconfirm so again the question about the Taurus guy...He likes you but you said you didn't like him, so that is why he is saying "we've already established we didn't like each other" Point is he wants to know you do actually have real romantic interest in him so he can feel more comfortable moving forward with you instead referring back to the doubts in his mind (Taurus guy, she said she didn't like me, now calls our friendship fake...) A lot of mixed signals however real simple to resolve. If you truly have feelings and want to be with this guy then reign in your ego/pride and look at the underlying message here...He has feelings for you but also doubts your true feelings so that is why this behavior continues. You guys need to go out(maybe you treat him) and have honest talk, tell him your feelings for him and see if he reciprocates. Showing your heart to a Cancer touches our very soul 🙂
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by Moonbutter
Ok, this kinda makes sense to me what is going on...Cancers like to go sideways, backwards, but hardly ever straight for what they want in (love matters). We like to examine all sides so we poke here, then we like to reconfirm so again the question about the Taurus guy...He likes you but you said you didn't like him, so that is why he is saying "we've already established we didn't like each other" Point is he wants to know you do actually have real romantic interest in him so he can feel more comfortable moving forward with you instead referring back to the doubts in his mind (Taurus guy, she said she didn't like me, now calls our friendship fake...) A lot of mixed signals however real simple to resolve. If you truly have feelings and want to be with this guy then reign in your ego/pride and look at the underlying message here...He has feelings for you but also doubts your true feelings so that is why this behavior continues. You guys need to go out(maybe you treat him) and have honest talk, tell him your feelings for him and see if he reciprocates. Showing your heart to a Cancer touches our very soul 🙂



Lol, I understand but I feel I asked him on a date..why say no? I guess cuz I said I didn't like him..only because he kept saying he didn't like me. I'll try I guess.
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Este8
@Este8
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1) FWB 2) back & forth on the are we/are we not interested game. 3) He's early 20s and prolly has oats to sow. You going out with Mr. Taurus made him jealous & want you more. Thing is, that's a short term response based on his jealousy not an insatiable desire to be with you. This is a thing of convenience until you grow bored or meet someone new.

Sorry but nothing about this spells commitment or long term to me. You're both kind of fooling around, not sure what you want. Thing is, if you do the FWB trap, it's nearly impossible to turn that into a real relationship. I mean look at your own example. I think he's too young for anything too serious. Besides you're 21 and have your whole life ahead of you. You should date and keep things light & fun. A real man/real suitor will pursue you and court you, not text you and leave you guessing. Timing is everything.
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by Moonbutter
Haha ok well maybe not directly call it a "date" then because like he said, you guys are kinda beyond that point. Just take things slow, be open and for goodness sake cage the Lioness lest you scare him off haha. What are his placements? Help me understand him a bit better...



Idk his asc but
Sun:cancer
Moon: cancer
Mercury:Gemini
Venus: Leo
Mars: Gemini
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by Este8
1) FWB 2) back & forth on the are we/are we not interested game. 3) He's early 20s and prolly has oats to sow. You going out with Mr. Taurus made him jealous & want you more. Thing is, that's a short term response based on his jealousy not an insatiable desire to be with you. This is a thing of convenience until you grow bored or meet someone new.

Sorry but nothing about this spells commitment or long term to me. You're both kind of fooling around, not sure what you want. Thing is, if you do the FWB trap, it's nearly impossible to turn that into a real relationship. I mean look at your own example. I think he's too young for anything too serious. Besides you're 21 and have your whole life ahead of you. You should date and keep things light & fun. A real man/real suitor will pursue you and court you, not text you and leave you guessing. Timing is everything.



You're right but my thing is I'm tired of being single...I thought I could mess around with him until the right guy came along, but it seems like a mistake
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
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Well, after bringing up the fact about him ignoring me he said if you wanna go then go ahead I said if you want me to I didn't say I was but I guess you don't care either way..he said ok goodbye it was cool chilling with you I guess. I kept messaging him about how what he was doing wasnt fair and why did he say he cared just to act like this, he still didn't answer so I got mad and kept texting and he didn't answer...I guess he's done
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by Moonbutter
So your intentions are not true? Then leave him be, Cancers are very sensitive and thrive on attachment. Besides, you really are far too young to know what/who you want as you are still discovering yourself. At least don't get married until 25/26 that is when the decision making part of your brain fully develops...learned the hard way.


It's not that they're not true but he told me he wasn't interested and even went on a date with another girl on Valentines day so I say ok I'm not either I thought it would be fine and get over him by seeing someone else
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Random post..still no word from him. Idk if this has to do with his sign but I figure he is just an insensitive, emotionally manipulative person, he'll never change. I thought about the previous times he disappeared always two months, and came back..and I always forgave him. He always went back to his same ways(ignoring me, criticizing me, trying to control). I got tired and tried to leave the friendship, he called me a bad person and said I didn't care about he feelings. He was offended because I didn't trust him I said it was because all the mean things you said and I never know when you're gonna just leave like you did before. He said "that's the past, forget it" So I trusted him after awhile, now he's gone again. Everything I thought he was going to do he ended up doing anyways. All I ever did was forgive him. and at this point if he ever does come back nothing will change he'll never respect me and he'll always just disappear whenever he wants. I can't even say that I won't forgive him..
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
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Posted by mgmtlove
Posted by Este8
1) FWB 2) back & forth on the are we/are we not interested game. 3) He's early 20s and prolly has oats to sow. You going out with Mr. Taurus made him jealous & want you more. Thing is, that's a short term response based on his jealousy not an insatiable desire to be with you. This is a thing of convenience until you grow bored or meet someone new.

Sorry but nothing about this spells commitment or long term to me. You're both kind of fooling around, not sure what you want. Thing is, if you do the FWB trap, it's nearly impossible to turn that into a real relationship. I mean look at your own example. I think he's too young for anything too serious. Besides you're 21 and have your whole life ahead of you. You should date and keep things light & fun. A real man/real suitor will pursue you and court you, not text you and leave you guessing. Timing is everything.



You're right but my thing is I'm tired of being single...I thought I could mess around with him until the right guy came along, but it seems like a mistake
click to expand





This is why he acts that way towards you. He probably sees through you and knows your waiting around for the right guy when he thinks or wants to be the right guy for you.
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StarChild63
@StarChild63
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Posted by mgmtlove
Random post..still no word from him. Idk if this has to do with his sign but I figure he is just an insensitive, emotionally manipulative person, he'll never change. I thought about the previous times he disappeared always two months, and came back..and I always forgave him. He always went back to his same ways(ignoring me, criticizing me, trying to control). I got tired and tried to leave the friendship, he called me a bad person and said I didn't care about he feelings. He was offended because I didn't trust him I said it was because all the mean things you said and I never know when you're gonna just leave like you did before. He said "that's the past, forget it" So I trusted him after awhile, now he's gone again. Everything I thought he was going to do he ended up doing anyways. All I ever did was forgive him. and at this point if he ever does come back nothing will change he'll never respect me and he'll always just disappear whenever he wants. I can't even say that I won't forgive him..



Does he know how you want him to communicate with him? Cancers have horrible communication skills and bad relationship skills but lots of love. They are not what they seem
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by StarChild63
Posted by mgmtlove
Posted by Este8
1) FWB 2) back & forth on the are we/are we not interested game. 3) He's early 20s and prolly has oats to sow. You going out with Mr. Taurus made him jealous & want you more. Thing is, that's a short term response based on his jealousy not an insatiable desire to be with you. This is a thing of convenience until you grow bored or meet someone new.

Sorry but nothing about this spells commitment or long term to me. You're both kind of fooling around, not sure what you want. Thing is, if you do the FWB trap, it's nearly impossible to turn that into a real relationship. I mean look at your own example. I think he's too young for anything too serious. Besides you're 21 and have your whole life ahead of you. You should date and keep things light & fun. A real man/real suitor will pursue you and court you, not text you and leave you guessing. Timing is everything.



You're right but my thing is I'm tired of being single...I thought I could mess around with him until the right guy came along, but it seems like a mistake




This is why he acts that way towards you. He probably sees through you and knows your waiting around for the right guy when he thinks or wants to be the right guy for you.
click to expand




I'm not sure about that he
1. said he didn't like me
2. went on a date with another girl
3. I asked him on a date, he said no
4.started ignoring me
5. said goodbye :/
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saharaa
@mgmtlove
13 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 512 · Topics: 71
Posted by StarChild63
Posted by mgmtlove
Random post..still no word from him. Idk if this has to do with his sign but I figure he is just an insensitive, emotionally manipulative person, he'll never change. I thought about the previous times he disappeared always two months, and came back..and I always forgave him. He always went back to his same ways(ignoring me, criticizing me, trying to control). I got tired and tried to leave the friendship, he called me a bad person and said I didn't care about he feelings. He was offended because I didn't trust him I said it was because all the mean things you said and I never know when you're gonna just leave like you did before. He said "that's the past, forget it" So I trusted him after awhile, now he's gone again. Everything I thought he was going to do he ended up doing anyways. All I ever did was forgive him. and at this point if he ever does come back nothing will change he'll never respect me and he'll always just disappear whenever he wants. I can't even say that I won't forgive him..



Does he know how you want him to communicate with him? Cancers have horrible communication skills and bad relationship skills but lots of love. They are not what they seem
click to expand



Yes, he does. after he said goodbye I did cuss him out.. then the next morning I reached out and said "I'm always here if you want to talk" which was 2 days ago, no answer.