Mr. Crabby is being Silent (Long Story)

if you think he has something to say why not ask him what he has to say...and if you want to know what he has to say but you know he isnt forthcoming you could make a point to coax it out of him. He was probably going through a moment of insecurity when you werent answering his calls and although its ok for them not to return calls or make them they take deep offense to someone doing it to them...so maybe you should sit him down and let him know you didnt mean to come across like you didnt want to be with him, dont leave a question of doubt in his mind when you assert that you want him and then open the floor for him to say what he needs to say...if you want...if that's not what you want to do then dont....but Im guessing you still care about this guy by the fact that you're asking bout him.

"but Im guessing you still care about this guy by the fact that you're asking bout him."

Yes, he was the first guy I truly ever loved and I do care for him, even though I'm very confused by his actions, I still would like to be his friend (not lover) & at least check on him every now & then and let him know I don't hate him, but I'm thinking maybe I made the situation worst by putting up pictures of other guys on my online page because that's when he became more distant.



"Sounds like he's moving on like you did."


Yeah I Kind Of realized that when I haven't heard from him in weeks nor talked to him I had no choice but to move on.


"No, he don't want to face you or deal with you period right now. If It's over, that's all he know and that's what he's living by. It's over, unless you try to communicate with him and reconcile as friends, lovers, or whatever it maybe. But for now, it's over. He'll face you when he's ready, good and ready"

Okay This Cancer Sign Guy has to be a different type of Cancer Sign Guy, he's the type who moves on without notice. Well the reason I'm asking because the other 3 Cancer Sign Guys I've dated, let it be well known when it was over, they were very direct with everything.


I not asking this question to get some advice of how to get back with him, "God No" that would be a huge mistake, who knows when he'd disappear and become distant again. I just don't understand his daily calls and not saying anything & when I get online, he gets online, its just weird as if he has something to say to me, but doesn't know how to say it. I would talk/tell him myself, but after he ignored my calls in Dec 2007, I haven't tried talking to him again yet, I was surprised he added me again to his friend list, I guess he's not too mad at me. Oh well I guess the best thing/ only thing I can do is completely move on and if he wants to come around and be friends, then we can be friends, if he doesn't oh well. It just feels better to get this off my chest.

Oh ok, I got you...so he hasnt really been making things conducive to makingup and you dont really want him back....

..hmm does this sound like it might ring true...he is on your friends list and watching your page because he's looking for some indication that you are still interested in him or that you miss him or that you're thinking of him for the stroke of his own ego. He still has some thought for you, even if not to be with you, so much so that he still wants to know he has your attention without letting you know he wants it or really wanting you.

Ive recently figured that some guys live just for knowing someone is pining for them. If this sounds like something he would do (guys like this usually complain about an ex that "just wont leave them alone" with a certain gleam in their eye) then it would probably do best to bypass the friendly correspondence.

"..hmm does this sound like it might ring true...he is on your friends list and watching your page because he's looking for some indication that you are still interested in him or that you miss him or that you're thinking of him for the stroke of his own ego. He still has some thought for you, even if not to be with you, so much so that he still wants to know he has your attention without letting you know he wants it or really wanting you."


Yeah, I'm now thinking I shouldn't even try to be his friend anymore, because he'd probably just twist the whole thing and make as if I want to be back with him again. I haven't tried to contact him in weeks, I just notice him acting weird, I guess he's a attention seeker.


"Well it sounds like he's still holding feelings for you. Something isn't right though. It could be something you did, or something he did. But who knows?!"


Oh I'm sure its something he did and he doesn't have the guts to apologize for it so he decides he'll just do weird things to feel close to me. He put the exact same playlist on his profile after I put it on my page, the song he has posted on his profile says it all (Chris Brown "Damage").



"This guy is a spoiled. Leave him in the dumpster."

Yeah, he is very spoiled/childish with issues and it took me sometime to realize that.

you didn't answer his call when he called you so he took offense and took it personal. now he is playing a game of hide and seek with you. he disappeared to give you a taste of what life would be without him and to also punish you a bit since we like to be in control and will not let anyone screw us over. we might get suckered once but usually not twice since our guard goes right up. also he cares for you if not he would not be putting in the effort of checking out your profile. sounds like he is acting childish but neither one of you is being straightforward and trying to fix things whether it be just friendship. you both seem to be dancing to different beats and no one is taking the lead..

"I not asking this question to get some advice of how to get back with him, "God No" that would be a huge mistake, who knows when he'd disappear and become distant again."

well I'm a little confused - if you don't want him back then what difference does it make why he's doing what he's doing?

my personal analyses - take it with a grain of salt if you wish - sounds like you're trying to act strong and confidant like "hey I don't need him" but in reality you're hoping that his behavior DOES mean he wants you back, and if he comes back begging and pleading properly then you might be kind and give him another chance....realistically I think there's just as much going on with you as with him. Otherwise you'd be thinking "whatever...he's out of his mind I'll just ignore him" or flat out tell him to leave you alone. One of the two - if you didn't still harbor some form of hope.

"well I'm a little confused - if you don't want him back then what difference does it make why he's doing what he's doing?"

Okay At One Time I Did Want To At Least Be His Friend Not his girlfriend, Because Despite His Weird Actions He Was A Great Person To Talk To/ The First Guy I Ever Loved, I don't know about you, but its kind of hard for me to forget someone I truly loved And Of Course I notice the things he does its kind of hard not to, it has only been weeks since this happen. I was very confused about the whole thing/how it happen and at the very least I only needed closure, but like I said previously, It really doesn't matter anymore. It did when I wrote this, but I'm thinking maybe this was my closure.

well, the need for closure I can understand - I will tell you this though, I have a really difficult time letting go of someone I love - meaning caring about them and worrying about what happens to them, even though I don't want anything to do with them...that's just me...and it's to my detriment....could be to yours as well.

"I have a really difficult time letting go of someone I love - meaning caring about them and worrying about what happens to them, even though I don't want anything to do with them...that's just me...and it's to my detriment....could be to yours as well."

Yeah its much harder to completely forget someone when you love them, but I also can see where you were coming from on your previous message and honestly at one time I was hoping he'd want to get back with me, just so I could do him just like he did me, but being spiteful gets you nowhere and I had to realize that being spiteful/bitter is just a waste of time (Moving On With Your Life Can Do Someone More Damage Than Wanting To Get Back At Them For Doing You Wrong). Forgetting Someone can be a long or short process it depends on the person. For me with previous relationships it was less than short to move on, but it took awhile for me to bounce back from this one, but I've Forgiven him, I thought I needed closure from him, but in reality I needed to let go and stop sabotaging my present male friend dwelling on the past wondering what went wrong with Mr. Crabby, well like I said several times before it doesn't even matter anymore, if he wants to act weird and be silent, that's fine, I was seeking friendship with him, but I'm not going to act childish and stoop to his level, sometimes I guess its best not to even be friends with certain ppl.

well, as far as the phone calls, there is probably something he wants to say to you but not in a voice message - so when you don't answer he just hangs up and triesa again later. There may or may not be something wrong with the guy - but bottom line is you'd probably be happier not worrying about him, so that's it.

If you felt comfortable enough you might even send him a message on line and tell him that even though you care about him and wanted to stay friends you think it's better if the two of you don't have any contact at least for a while. Don't mention the phone calls, and he'll probably stop [I say don't mention them because if you do you'll make him feel embarrassed like you think he's psycho for calling and hanging up - and even if you do think that it won't help him any to hear it....] then remove him from your messenger list yourself - don't wait for him to do it. And if he ever gets over it and wants to be friends maybe he'll add you back on later. If he doesn't stop the phone calls THEN you might want to say something if it really bothers you. But, no, vengeance won't do you any good - so be nice and just let him go.

Being friends with someone you love is HARD! Why? You have stated that you really loved him and he is probably aware that being friends with you is just leaving the door open for you and him to still share intimacy. I would cut all ties with him simply because you cannot be friends with someone you claimed you loved. That is torture, you are leaving yourself open for disappointment and the best policy would be to move on for right now and don't let him come back as a friend until you are completely over him.

Yes, I am sure being friends wouldn't be a good thing for the both of us right now, but its so hard for me to hurt any body rather I know you or not, despite what they may have done to me. I didn't mention this before, but at the time of our break-up, he was going through a lot, one of his Ex-girlfriends, died in Nov 2007 and she had children that he knew nothing about and he found out that there was a possibility that he could be the children father, and I really didn't know what to do or say about something like that, Well I'm sure I hurt him by not being there for him when he really needed me & He hurt me also, but I really feel and also know that right now isn't the best time for a friendship, I mean if we are meant to be friends, maybe we'll meet up again, but right now I agree cutting all ties with him would be best.

"But, no, vengeance won't do you any good - so be nice and just let him go."

Even Though at one point I wanted to be mean to him/spiteful, I could never go through with it, like I mention above Its really hard for me to hurt someone feelings or whatever and if I do happen to its unintentionally.

"Don't mention the phone calls, and he'll probably stop [I say don't mention them because if you do you'll make him feel embarrassed like you think he's psycho for calling and hanging up - and even if you do think that it won't help him any to hear it....] then remove him from your messenger list yourself - don't wait for him to do it."

"Funny Thing" When we first started dating he wanted me to make a profile online so we could communicate to each other on that and he would view it everyday and every time I would update my profile, he'd ask me about whatever I put new on my page, So one day I asked him about why do he keep monitoring every move I make, looking at my profile daily. He got all shy saying he don't look at my stupid profile everyday, he told me I must think I'm super special, but I knew he was a liar because how else would he know what I put on my page if he didn't look at it.

not sure what kind of profile you're talking about - myspace? do you usually keep it private/ if so then remove him from your friend's list. If he wants to be involved in your life [as a friend] then he can be a man about it. Not skulk around your page keeping tabs on you and then not wanting to talk to you.

I really don't see a problem with being friend's with your ex if it's a healthy FRIENDSHIP, but right now just doesn't seem like the time.

I have a couple exes I've stayed friends with but not until after a period of not having anything to do with each other to let the wounds heal.

well I didn't say you should be friends with ALL of your exes - just that the ones I have remained friends with it only after a period of time apart that was necessary...at least for ME....

I'm friends with three of my Ex's (Scorpio, Capricorn, & Aries), but see I loved these guys, but I was not in love with them, that's why it was so easy to let go and just be friends with them, but yeah I'm going to cut off all ties with Mr. Crabby, he's to confusing, and by him being able to keep tabs on me, I believe its just reassuring him that if ever he feels like he wants me back I'll be there waiting, I don't believe he wants to be just friends, him accepting me back on his friend list, probably was just a easier way for him to keep up with whatever is going in my life without ever having to talking to me and I don't know what the weird calls are about, lol, maybe he just wants to hear my voice, it took me sometime to realize the truth, but I am well aware of his intentions now, he's just a spoiled/childish 24 year old baby who's use to getting whatever he wants, that's why I decided its probably best not to try to talk to him anymore nor try to be his friend and just let him be silent/weird.

well regardless of his motives it seems the two of you are probably better off cutting ties anyhow - good for you 🙂

and by him being able to keep tabs on me, I believe its just reassuring him that if ever he feels like he wants me back I'll be there waiting, EXACTLY, good for you for letting go and when he returns if you still have feelings for him, wait it out a while, what is the point of leaving the door open for someone to hurt you again.

"He said:

yells and say I act like I don't want to be with him anymore.


You said:

I really don't understand, I have a feeling he wants to tell me something, but he's afraid or something.



DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Well, Whatever He Was Doing, Doesn't Even Matter Anymore, He Should Have Told Me How He Felt While He Had A Chance, That Situation Dealing with Mr. Crabby being Silent Honestly doesn't Matter Anymore, I don't have the patience or time anymore to even care why he did what he did, good luck to whomever is his new interest.

You don't sound convincing.....but what do I know. With the help of these wonderful people on this board...I have learned to deal with my cancer guy.

Thanks guys!!!!!!!!!

"You don't sound convincing.....but what do I know."

Exactly, I wasn't put on this earth to convince you or no one, but ME, Hmmm that Aries Moon Sign is kicking in "lmao", but it really doesn't matter I know that I don't care for him like I use to, My feelings have changed and I've cut him off from keeping tabs/contacting me, of course I haven't completely forgot about him, its obvious, but I have cut him off so I could move forward, if I would have continued to let him call me and not say anything or kept him on my friend list, I would have just been holding on to him hoping he'd come back, but now that there's no way I can contact him or he can contact me, there's No hope for him coming back, Its completely Over.


"I have learned to deal with my cancer guy.

Thanks guys!!!!!!!!!"

Good For You, but its honestly best that I move on, I had to face it, we just don't match.

"Now you sit and wonder why he never tried harder without taking a look at yourself first."

Yeah I know it wasn't all him, I didn't really try hard to make it work either, I gave up after he stop talking to me for weeks, I guess we both did the easiest thing and just left/moved on.



"Then you say you don't care but you are here wondering about him?"

"Nothing is gonna happen if you wonder."

"Get ur ass up and do something about it."


You Sound Like My Best Friend, She Said The Same Thing, but I really think its best for now to let it go & just move forward, and find someone who's able to communicate with me and not run away & hide when there's problem.