Should I send this email?

This is regarding the situation with the silent virgo. It's been 7 months since she terminated our friendship and cut me from her life without giving me any reason. She blocked me on facebook and I haven't seen her since our classes ended together. The thing is we never see each other in person now, I don't have her phone #, I'm blocked on facebook. The only way I have to communicate with her is the student email account at the college we went to. I know she checks that. But I don't want to be reported to the college as some kind of stalker who is harassing her through her account, even though that's not what's going on at all. I haven't tried to communicate since last month. I have graduated from that college though, so it's not like they could discipline me or anything. I guess they have my transcripts, but still...

This will not be a reconciliation email. I don't want to reach out to her for a relationship, or even a friendship. This will be a message to call her out on all of the bullshit she has put me through. Ignoring me for 7 months with no reason givin, throwing away what had been a very close bond between us, lying to me, betraying my trust, cold heartless silence with no answer givin to my feelings for her. It is dehumanizing, cruel, and cold hearted to ignore people who love you without a valid reason. She can't just get away with doing that to me. I think calling her out would be cathartic for me.

Posted by OceanOfEmotion
This is regarding the situation with the silent virgo. It's been 7 months since she terminated our friendship and cut me from her life without giving me any reason. She blocked me on facebook and I haven't seen her since our classes ended together. The thing is we never see each other in person now, I don't have her phone #, I'm blocked on facebook. The only way I have to communicate with her is the student email account at the college we went to. I know she checks that. But I don't want to be reported to the college as some kind of stalker who is harassing her through her account, even though that's not what's going on at all. I haven't tried to communicate since last month. I have graduated from that college though, so it's not like they could discipline me or anything. I guess they have my transcripts, but still...

This will not be a reconciliation email. I don't want to reach out to her for a relationship, or even a friendship. This will be a message to call her out on all of the bullshit she has put me through. Ignoring me for 7 months with no reason givin, throwing away what had been a very close bond between us, lying to me, betraying my trust, cold heartless silence with no answer givin to my feelings for her. It is dehumanizing, cruel, and cold hearted to ignore people who love you without a valid reason. She can't just get away with doing that to me. I think calling her out would be cathartic for me.

Lol.. Leave her alone, you sensitive cancer.. you are blocked from her life for a reason. Don't make yourself look stupid. Despair the drama. Its been 7 months are you crazy? Get over it.

I don't think you should because to me, it would be opening up a bad wound that needs to be closed you know what im saying. She is the one who needs to be blocked. If anything, she doesn't even deserve the air you breath, let alone your voice. You have tides or anything that belongs to her. You owe her nothing. If she cared, she would have been called or at least apologize for how things were on her own. There is no excuse for her actions. Don't ask or beg anyone for their attention if they aren't freely giving it. That's what i learned from dating. I know its hard for you right now, but God always replace what is lost. Take this as strength added to your character 🙂

No just leave it alone.

Also one other thing my Cancer brotha, if a womans actions don't match her wordz, then forget it. People's actions can reveal soo much. Go out & Enjoy your life Man. Plus your birthday coming up too, like Ok! lol

So just leave it uncalled? How is a person just to accept such blatant disrespect and cruelty without responding? I'm just supposed to let her walk all over me?

Let her get by with treating me like shit

Only way you do that, is by continuing to give your love & attention to someone who doesn't deserve it.Trust me Karma gonna handle her azz. She doesn't deserve anything from you. But you do what your heart tells you ok. I know i wouldnt give her any of my time if she's not willing to do the same for me

Karma did take care of her. She had a bitter breakup with the guy she chose me over. It's quite funny actually. That guy came up on her and her new bf and called her a cunt to her face while the new bf fled and left her alone with him. She blocked me a second time after that though.

It's been 7 months and I just can't get this situation off my mind. I can't accept being disrespected by someone like that. It's too unresolved to let it go, or at least get a parting word in.

*bitter break up with the guy she chose over me

*"bleep" refers to a certain part of the female body

if it will make you feel better, then do it...nobody else lives your life, nobody has the right to judge what makes you feel better...

you need closure...she didn't offer that to you...do whatever you need to feel you had your closure

will you look like a fool? maybe
will she ignore you? maybe
will this not make you feel better? maybe

but if your mind doesn't get that closure, you won't be able to move on....so...who the f**k cares? do whatever your mind/soul needs...just analise it a bit to figure out what the closure you need looks like

good luck to you

Ok! lol, Tell em Caster. You suffered enough already Ocean :/

Posted by mz
if it will make you feel better, then do it...nobody else lives your life, nobody has the right to judge what makes you feel better...

you need closure...she didn't offer that to you...do whatever you need to feel you had your closure

will you look like a fool? maybe
will she ignore you? maybe
will this not make you feel better? maybe

but if your mind doesn't get that closure, you won't be able to move on....so...who the f**k cares? do whatever your mind/soul needs...just analise it a bit to figure out what the closure you need looks like

good luck to you

Closure is exactly what I need. It's why it's still on my mind 7 months later. She never told me why so I have been torturing myself thinking of reasons. I've come to a place where I've dismissed my flaws and focused on hers. She deserves to be held to account. How could anyone let such disrespect and cruelty go unaddressed and say that it gives you self-worth? It's letting someone walk all over you.

Aren't virgo's perfectionists? Wouldn't that make them receptive to something that highlights all their faults? I could write a two page essay on everything that is wrong with her.

I don't expect her to respond, just like she hasn't to anything else I sent. But I know she reads it. She mysteriously took the block down on facebook last month, and when I sent her a message it said 'seen'. She didn't reply, but renewed the block about 12 hours later. She saw the message and spent the day analyzing it. That was a message of reconciliation though, so yes her silence did hurt me. This will be a message of closure and burning bridges, so I don't even care if she responds.

My problem was that I was too nice to her when we were together. I ignored all of her flaws, the warning signs, and lost myself following her like a love sick puppy. I need to tear her ass up and focus on my center.

Posted by OceanOfEmotion
This is regarding the situation with the silent virgo. It's been 7 months since she terminated our friendship and cut me from her life without giving me any reason. She blocked me on facebook and I haven't seen her since our classes ended together. The thing is we never see each other in person now, I don't have her phone #, I'm blocked on facebook. The only way I have to communicate with her is the student email account at the college we went to. I know she checks that. But I don't want to be reported to the college as some kind of stalker who is harassing her through her account, even though that's not what's going on at all. I haven't tried to communicate since last month. I have graduated from that college though, so it's not like they could discipline me or anything. I guess they have my transcripts, but still...

This will not be a reconciliation email. I don't want to reach out to her for a relationship, or even a friendship. This will be a message to call her out on all of the bullshit she has put me through. Ignoring me for 7 months with no reason givin, throwing away what had been a very close bond between us, lying to me, betraying my trust, cold heartless silence with no answer givin to my feelings for her. It is dehumanizing, cruel, and cold hearted to ignore people who love you without a valid reason. She can't just get away with doing that to me. I think calling her out would be cathartic for me.

Write her off as a loss.
She really doesn't deserve the time you've spent thinking about this, and from your other posts, is racking up some karmic debt.

i agree to what castor said...don't expect much
don't write a 2 pages essay...it will make you look like a fool
she damaged your self confidence/self esteem and if you go back and hurt her, you feel she'd pay for the damage. let's be honest...you want REVENGE.

listen...this happens when people make wrong choices...it has nothing to do with her flaws or your value. the way you feel itself proves your value...you were sincere to love her despite her flaws, you were hopeful enough to ignore the red flags...you simply come from 2 different worlds. you can't put up with having made such a mistake. it is not about her...it is about you...

i'd pay two psychotherapy sessions instead of sending her that e mail...but you'll eventually do what YOU feel is better for you and NEVER feel bad about it.

my only advice is...don't write more than 2-3 lines. just be smarter than her...

Yeah she has blocked love. I think she had some bad experiences before me that closed her off. I kept telling myself this to excuse her actions, but the bottom line is that disrespect is disrespect. Just because someone else hurt you doesn't give you the right to hurt me and judge me.

Hey Ocean - from a feminine point of view, i have faced a similar situation with a cancer friend. 7 months is too long, just let it go and move on. Irrespective of the sign, what u need in return for your efforts is respect. Dont disrepect yourself - she doesnt deserve you!

If you send that email all you will successfully do is boost her ego. Whenever she is feeling down, she can prop herself up knowing she can mess with your head so effectively.

What if she laughs at you because you are still going on about her after 7 months? Many, many women pride themselves over the fact they are still on the minds of past lovers/bf/crushes. Have you ever read posts from starlover... she lives off the illusion that she is so much woman, no man can ever get over her. Doesn't matter if it's true or not she believes it, so it's true for her.

Put that shell on Crab, it's there for a reason!

Virgo's don't like criticism but do they care what people they've cut out of their lives think of them? She didn't care that you had positive feelings for her, why would she care if they're now negative? As long as you show her you have feelings, she's coming out on top.

Don't feed women like that. If you really want to hurt her pretend she doesn't exist. ALL women hate that

Well think of this way, she missed out not you..... The way she was treated says a lot bout her character. You treated her well, and ex called her a cookie monster, the bf was with her ran from the situation. Bruh you came out ahead in this..... be thankful it could of been worse

Please don't turn this in virgo bashing thread.... for every CC there is an oceanofemotion. nobody perfect neither cancers or virgos.

@ocean: I'm always told silence speaks volumes. However I know too well the feeling of unfinished business. Oh how I wish my last cancer was feeling he wanted to contact me.

Here is what I got so far



I??ve been processing things, and I no longer think you would be good for me. Not as a partner or friend. I want to close the book on this part of my life, which is what this message is about. These are my observations about you. I'm going to be honest and direct.

Let's start with your silence, the bit where you ignore someone and don't speak for months. I may have made mistakes, but I always cared, I always valued you as a friend, as a person. I was nothing but kind to you, yet you stopped speaking without providing a valid reason. It is cruel and dehumanizing to do that to someone, to leave them wondering why it was done, to disregard their feelings, their pain, and leave them without a thought of compassion or forgiveness. It is extremely selfish and borders on sadism. It also reveals a lack of empathy for the well-being of others. I have no room for any of those things in my life, and it makes me doubt your ability to even have a meaningful relationship.

Silence also reflects the inability to confront your problems. The feelings that I expressed were never answered by you, you simply avoided them. You used other guys to speak your words for you. You erected a wall to cut me out of your life without responding to me. You dodged the problem because you lack the character to face your problems with direct honesty. If you can't express yourself then you don't belong in my life. Communication is everything, and you only know how to run — run from me, run from yourself, run from the inevitable problems that arise in any relationship. You offer no stability.

What do you expect to get from this?? What if she just ignores you? If I were her that's what I would do... then you're back to square 1. No answers, nothing, and you wouldn't even know if any of that got to her.

You can do what you want but it won't rewrite or change any facts about the past or the current situation you are in... which is still alone and heartbroken.

I'd say move on, hey but whatever makes you feel better....

And I promise you (from experience) this won't make you feel better... maybe for a day or two. Then you'll be angry again. Just move on. Save yourself the grief.

Btw you make yourself sound like the recent virgin killer of UCSB. What she did to you sucked but it wasn't dehumanizing. You are blowing things a little out of proportion it sounds like to me. Yes, it sucked that she just cut you off but it's way better than stringing you along and then breaking your heart later.

Just because you were nice to her doesn't make her any more obligated to you. If that were the case a lot of people would owe. If you were genuinely nice then it wouldn't have meant a thing. I'm nice because that is who I am not because I expect anything from it.

But if you are nice because you expect something thing than thats on you still not her. There are not written law in the world saying just someone treats you nice you owe them a favor.

I get you are hurt and the way she treated you was unfair. But take this as a lesson learned. If you can't be nice without expecting something back in return then just don't be nice at all until someone is deserving of that niceness.

Haha lastly I know I wrote a lot. But I relate to you a lot thats why I have a lot to say.

My life motto "everything in moderation". That includes pride.

And you have a lot of it. I think being cardinals we both have a lot of it. And I completely understand, it's because you don't want anyone to take advantage of your kindness. Because when you love (friend or romantic) you love with your whole heart. IME using pride will not get you the respect you want. That is earned by treating people as equals and learning from those who have wronged you but being mature enough to move on. You might not understand now. But you will when you've experienced what I have by allowing my pride to shut everyone I love out until I was alone and depressed.

Pride can only get you so far in life. Trust me. Using your heart and mind equally will get you farther. I really wish the best for you. You seem like a good person with a good heart.

Good luck.

Posted by aquavita

Posted by xtina
Just because you were nice to her doesn't make her any more obligated to you. If that were the case a lot of people would owe. If you were genuinely nice then it wouldn't have meant a thing. I'm nice because that is who I am not because I expect anything from it.

nice is a useless word right now, what s up with u Tina tonight? 🙂

click to expand

Just using the words he did... maybe it might help him better understand. Also, for a lack of better word. Keeps it short, sweet, and to the point. I know I come off as brash because of that but it's only because I'm impatient to get my point across 🙂

This isn't about changing the status quo. I'm not expecting any kind of response or reconciliation here. I just want closure. I want to confront her for the awful things she's done to me. It's a matter of respecting myself enough to not accept being treated that way.

And I was never nice to her because I expected something in return. There are standards of civility and friendship. You don't cut off people that care about you without explaining. If she didn't care, didn't want to lead me on, EXPLAIN and don't let silence do the talking. I can accept a no answer, but not blatant disrespect and cruelty.

I'm just saying people do this all the time. And this won't be the first person to do this to you. There is no disrespect sometimes it's about empathy. It's about people are never going to do what you expect, you can not control people. You say "closure" but what does that really mean. You will feel better? You really think putting her down and lashing out will make you feel better?

Do what you want but from personal experience (I've done this before) it will not make you feel better.

—Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.?? Martin Luther King Jr.

Posted by aquavita

Posted by xtina

Posted by aquavita

Posted by xtina
Just because you were nice to her doesn't make her any more obligated to you. If that were the case a lot of people would owe. If you were genuinely nice then it wouldn't have meant a thing. I'm nice because that is who I am not because I expect anything from it.

nice is a useless word right now, what s up with u Tina tonight? 🙂

Just using the words he did... maybe it might help him better understand. Also, for a lack of better word. Keeps it short, sweet, and to the point. I know I come off as brash because of that but it's only because I'm impatient to get my point across 🙂

yes yes ... i know 🙂. but he s just throwing things now in. it is not edited. it is not a logical letter. it does not have to be. but at the end it will be, both logical and emotional. if anything at all.

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I think your idea is great writing it an burning it. It's just sometimes people get this over idealized image of confronting someone who has wronged them, like everything will be great and they will feel fantastic afterwards and all the wrongs will be unwritten. That is never the case. It's good to stand up to someone no doubt, but there is a thin line of people that are worth your time and those that are not. I think she's not worth anymore of his thought and time. But I do think this is a great way for him to vent out all of his frustrations.

Yes, what she did was disrespectful. But if you truly respected yourself, you'd understand she isn't worth anymore of your time and energy. Because in the long run that is more important. Your time and your energy.

You giving her way more than she deserves right now regardless of whether it's negative or positive. I'm not saying not to vent your frustrations, I'm just saying she doesn't deserve to know what you're growing through. Because everyone loves attention, bad or good, why do you think the paparazzi make so much money?

Yup, regardless he will move on eventually I just had to put my two cents in 🙂

More like a quarter lol w/e

I just think people need and deserve to be called for the hurtful things they do to other people. I've spent 7 months processing this, that was how much I cared for her. You are right that I need to let it go, and that's what this is about. I have realized I can't do so without standing up for myself. I don't hate her, but pointing out the mistakes that people make is not a sign of hate.

I get it and I totally respect you for that 🙂

I'm not sending it tonight. I just have what I posted so far. I'll add more to it later tonight or tomorrow

lol. Maybe I can end it something like this

"Don't bother replying to this. I graduated last month and the college will close my account soon. Oh and you are blocked on facebook too. Have a good life!"

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by VirgoChyld
Please don't turn this in virgo bashing thread.... for every CC there is an oceanofemotion. nobody perfect neither cancers or virgos.

No offense, but we're way hmmm better people then Virgos. They're not of our caliber.

click to expand

CC let's not go there, what y'all say bout crabs there are ones who contradicting what you guys are saying, same for Virgos. Cancers are better people than Virgos, that is an opinion. Which can go both ways for both signs. If there not of the cancer caliber who you let them into your lives? It is your poor choices that reflects your feelings for yourself. You see the signs and still ignore them and keep going on instead of stopping. Letting your heart leading the way instead of thinking more.....

Well then don't start thinking after it is over, and your all hurt. Simple

what about this:

"do you remember when that Xguy called you ... . i just remembered your face then...so funny 😄 😄 😄" [put in there the most embarrassing situation she was in and don't say anything more]

Sorry I haven't replied for a couple of days. I haven't sent the message, and I don't know if I should or not. I've discovered some things that have left me extremely confused, basically it's the concept of the twin flame relationship. I didn't know anything about this before, but the more I got to reading the more I realized that it describes EXACTLY what I have been going through.

Here is the first link I found about it

http://theeternalbliss.wordpress.com/2011/10/01/phases-of-a-twinflame-relationship/<BR>
I've always felt there was something more to this relationship, which is why I haven't been able to let it go for 7 months. The emotions are still as powerful as they were from the start. I've felt all the gauntlet to emotions for her. I felt hatred and anger for being used and disrespected, a worse than death pain from her rejection and the thought that I won't see her again (it brought me to tears the other night), and this all encompassing love for her that glows white hot in my chest. Every emotion I feel for her is more powerful than any I've felt in my life.

The twin flame process describes it all. The synchronicities between us. The laundry list of shared interests, opinions, beliefs. The instant connection. And this process of separation we are now going through (especially that!). It is stage 3 in the process - the dance. I am the chaser and she is the runner.

Everything I have read about the runner says that they run because they are in a state of conflict, and they fear the intensity of the connection, the ability of the other flame to destroy them, and the loss of control. They run because the love they feel is too strong to accept in their current phase of spiritual development. Everything I have read said that this makes the chaser feel rejected, hated, and destroyed.

Thus the confusion. I don't know if she is doing this because she doesn't care or if it's because she is scared.

Well Ocean, you need think about this before you send anything to the krazy bitch lol. Ok, what will you gain by sending her this email? #2, what if she doesn't read it, & just delete it? She already blocked you & she talking to someone else. Most likely, she isn't thinking about you, so why think about her. Lastly, i understand your hurting bad, i know what it feels like. IF you send this email, don't expect her to unblock you or even talk to you like before. Do this only if you want closure & want or expect nothing from her in return. Me personally, i wouldn't waste my time & energy on anyone who isn't freely giving me theirs. I wish you the best man, & follow your heart NOT your feelings my Crab brotha

Posted by CluelessCancer
Please send the EMAIL. I hate plots without conclusions, sex without orgasms, this ongoing debate with yourself is just annoying as hell. I mean i like things to either be done or not done.

Do it so we have a story we can sink our teeth in.

Even if I send the email it's still the summer. No guarantee she's even using the account now unless she's doing summer classes. Fall semester doesn't start until late August, so she may not log in till then.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Please send the EMAIL. I hate plots without conclusions, sex without orgasms, this ongoing debate with yourself is just annoying as hell. I mean i like things to either be done or not done.

Do it so we have a story we can sink our teeth in.

Clueless cancer, you always make me laugh lol

All of her behavior screams that she doesn't care. The silence, the ignoring. I question it though because I remember how we parted. There were several moments of tenderness that I know I didn't imagine. She was flirting all over my fb page, we shared an umbrella as I walked her to her car, we made up after a misunderstanding. I know she cared at one point, as very close friends at the least. That's why the silence doesn't make sense, because we were on good terms when it happened. She had a new bf message me that she didn't want to speak anymore - the same guy who referred to her as female genitalia in front of her next bf. It doesn't make sense that she would cut all contact and not tell me how she felt. We were great friends and I could accept that, even though it would have hurt I would have appreciated the honesty, closure, and directness.

That she wasn't able to tell me this herself makes me feel like she was frightened by the connection - the runner dynamic. What really makes me think that is that she blocked me the second time. Keep in mind she had already broken up with that guy by the time I made the second contact. That's irrational because I surely did nothing to her that was unforgivable, and she did take the block down before I contacted her after all. Blocking me again after 5 months makes me think she is scared of the connection, not that she lacks feeling. I showed her a love more powerful than any she has experienced, and she's afraid to feel that, to let me in. She has had many heartbreaks which makes a connection like that frightening. If she let it in and it fell apart it could destroy her. So she runs from the connection and blocks it, trying to convince herself it never happened.

That's why I'm confused about what to do. If she doesn't care, hates me, or the silence is her way of disrespect then by all means I should send it and torch her. But if she doesn't speak because she is afraid of love, then I would be hurting someone who does care but doesn't know how to show it.