@kim30
12 Years1,000+ PostsCancer
Crabs may leave a relationship when they feel overwhelmed or unappreciated. Their instinct to hide is driven by the need for safety and emotional security. Factors like conflict or loss of trust can trigger their retreat, prompting them to seek refuge until they feel ready to reconnect.
Betrayal and when it's one sided.
Love to have an answer to that as well!
has anyone told you crabs define betrayal differently than others?
We do? How so?
Not sure. I've been told that but you know how people are. They make a statement and don't back it up with examples. Maybe because they are talking out of their butt or wish to avoid confrontation.
Finally, I've figured out what makes me shut down. I pinpointed it. I know what makes me lose it.
I'm wondering if any other crabs have this experience or if I'm solo.
Betrayal, domestic violence etc...those are always on the list. I'm wondering about something beneath the surface.
Well, I guess everyone has their own version of what betrayal is.....poop on them for not giving examples.
Betrayal is pretty big for me and it depends on who's doing the betrayal. Abuse is huge. Cheating is obvious. On a friend level, siding with the enemy, back stabbing, being two faced....
What would make me run the most is Lies! People not doing what they say they can do. Also being insensitive to my feelings. Just being down right rude. Once im gone, this Crab never comes back. A person got one time to screw me over. If I take someone back, I have to really really love them. I don't play games when it comes to love. Either you in, or your out!
Ohh & if someone abuse me, whether its verbal or physical, ill definitely tell them to get hell on lol. Im not gon let no one beat on me either. Other Crabs shouldn't either. We do got Claws for a reason 😉
What about emotional abuse? Since crabs are supposedly so over the top sensitive, do you think your perception of emotional abuse is different than others?
What do you do when you run? Do you really lock yourself in or go to a friend?
Emotional abuse, yes! Maybe we have less tolerance for it, but abuse is abuse.
When I run....depends on the situation and the person. I definitely start retreating into the shell before hand and start burning the bridge. Then, when I go, it seems out of left field and everyone is standing around wondering WTH happened.
@Kim30 when i "run" or go into my shell, i usually go be by myself in my room & try calm down. I off course be very sad & try to figure why a bad situation occured. OR, i'll go talk to my grandma about what happened. She usually gets me in good spirits & she provides a different perspective on my situations. But usually it's shell time if my grandma isn't available. I don't really like to tell all my problems to everyone. I don't wanna feel like a burden you know
My perception of emotional abuse is actually quite similar to MoonArtist. I have felt it many times before. It hurts a lot, because some people will use your love for them against you. So i learned to think more with my heart & not get soo attached so easily. It's tough, but i'm learning. I won't tolerate too much emotional abuse tho. Good questions Kim 🙂. I actually feel better talking about this stuff
Emotional abuse could just as easily be physical or mental abuse in my world. Emotional abuse fucks with all of me.
Yep you are right. It's horrible & shouldn't be tolerated. I know we Crabs love verry strongly. But emotional abuse isn't love in my book.
What's old is people saying crabs let others use us but call us cold for cutting the users out. Whatever.
Point being I'm done being the safe harbor for everyone in my daily life when no one is mine. Today I cut one out. Permanently. I'm happy about it. No puppy dog faces working their way in this time.
@Kim30 Lol you are doing good too. I'm proud of you 🙂. Yeah just because we love someone or really care, doesn't mean someone won't catch the boot to the outside. You can be you, but definitely show you are more than just a innocent face. I say let people misunderstand us, & they can find out the hard way, that we can get gangsta too lol 😉. #CancerPowerActivate! haha
Yeah, BI. In all reality I am the quiet sweet one who will give anyone anything til they push me to my snapping point. And then there's my low tolerance for bullshit which I'm able to see all to clearly. Sometimes I think I would be happier not knowing.
@Kim30 i think it's because we Crabs are very intuitive in certain situations. At least it helps us spot fakers. Besides im the same as you. I'm very quiet & sweet, but i do have fire in there somewhere. Just love who you are, & Fuq what everyone else thinks about us Crabs. I love being a Cancer, even in the dark days. Kim nothing wrong with showing you got feelings too alright. Enjoy your night & day tomorrow ok *Hugs* imma go play some Mortal Kombat lol
Posted by kim30
What's old is people saying crabs let others use us but call us cold for cutting the users out. Whatever.Point being I'm done being the safe harbor for everyone in my daily life when no one is mine. Today I cut one out. Permanently. I'm happy about it. No puppy dog faces working their way in this time.
Good! I have done this, too. It's hard, it sucks, but then you realize how nice it is not to deal with the bs. Freedom!
What about trust? And don't mean you don't trust them but they don't trust you? Especially if they have no reasons not to trust you? What do you do then? Especially if they accuse you all the time?
There are those who say crabs never leave love, which I know is utter bullshit. I've seen crabs stay where they felt no love. And I've seen crabs leave where there was too much of it, if that's actually possible.
Crab to crab, I'm wondering what would make you leave a love? What goes through your mind during that side-scuttle dance?
Where or who do you run to?
Showing too much attachment and love too early. Love me. Don't smother me!
Posted by kim30
has anyone told you crabs define betrayal differently than others?betrayl was when I prioritised my dog over crab man in pursuit of making me happy. betrayal was being late 5 hours. betrayal was not speaking up enough. yes it is betaryal. I know now what love is. 🙂
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Crab-Sag relationships-- I've heard they are either amazing or horrible.
Each side thinks they give ALL.
But the communication isn't there.
The successful pairing I've seen involved two Pisces moons--
It had its volatility, but they had a nice moon trine sun-- and the hard aspects were to the Cancer's 'advantage' which was good in this case I think.
What about a safe place? Do y'all have safe places like Blackindian?
I only "run and hide" if it's a dating situation. I've ended long term relationships over a host of reasons but never hid out from problems or ran away from love. So to answer your question, in a dating situation I can and will run away if I feel a) the man I'm seeing is playing games and/or b) I feel there's any whiff of a competition to win his affections. I am very cautious about getting to know a man and like to take things slowly. I'm of the belief there are men who are eager to be with you and men who aren't that motivated. I'd rather hold out for the eager beavers, tho there is chemistry & compatibility involved so it's never really that easy but patience is my virtue in the love department. But what is easy for me is walking away from a bunch of shit. I don't mind if a man is a player. I'm just not interested in being his play mate. I'll pass but good luck with that.
i also wouldn't call it "running" from a situation. I simply get the hell out of it before it becomes toxic. Plus it's a great thing we Crabs got Shells. The best thing we could ever have. Well besides Claws 😉 lol
I'm with Este8 all the way.
I agree with most of the betrayals listed. And if there's not trust then there's no friendship or relationship period.
I don't run and hide. I walk away with my middle finger raised high.
Here's a question . Do you cancers ever return to a old love through feeling guilty about the circumstances in which you left your partner ?
Posted by Funkyxxmonkey
Here's a question . Do you cancers ever return to a old love through feeling guilty about the circumstances in which you left your partner ?
for that specific reason, no.
@Funkyxxmonkey Hell No lol, once im done with someone, i'm gone for good. I wouldn't leave my partner unless they did something really horrible like cheating or emotional abuse. You screw over a Crab, that's your azz
What about if you the crab was the one that screwed someone else over in the worst possible way ? Another question ' out of sight out of mind ' or ' absence makes the heart grow fonder ' ?
You have it all mixed up but you're getting warmer.
Posted by Funkyxxmonkey
What about if you the crab was the one that screwed someone else over in the worst possible way ? Another question ' out of sight out of mind ' or ' absence makes the heart grow fonder ' ?
I did do something wrong once and felt horrible and owned up to it. They couldn't handle my honesty and left and I respected that. No we haven't ever spoken since. It's just the way it is.
Out of sight and out of mind to me.
I think fxm is wondering about the selfish crab who does horrible things then has the nerve to come sniffing around.
@Funkyxxmonkey I wouldn't, i don't have it in me to screw over someone i love. Now if i make a mistake, i own up to it & try to fix things. If you aren't happy, why stay in a stressful situation. That's definitely retarded lol. People do some stupid shyt nowadays to mess up a perfectly good thing
If I leave someone I don't think twice about them. No regrets. Hell, half the time I can't remember their name when someone else mentions them. True story.
@Kim30 haha i'm like that too, unless that person did something really bad to me. Sometimes i do remember past hurts & the people who caused them. I hate that though. It might be because of my Scorpio Moon. I don't take betrayal, lying, & hurtful words to well
What are his finances like?
FXM I have to say I've never heard of this particular scenario go down without the man having been a Cheater.
Why on earth would he go back to a crying, hysterical mess unless he was still dicking her or his situation with you was just that bad? Or both.
Cancers will do the same.
Posted by kim30
Cancers will do the same.
We are still friends so maybe one day i will understand when its not all so raw . I have endured and seen / heard the worst i am going too so its onwards and upwards for me .
Thank you for your responses 🙂
Posted by Funkyxxmonkey
Here's a question . Do you cancers ever return to a old love through feeling guilty about the circumstances in which you left your partner ?
No. I might want to apologize if I think I was unduly cruel about it, but I won't go back.
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
What would make me run the most is Lies! People not doing what they say they can do. Also being insensitive to my feelings. Just being down right rude. Once im gone, this Crab never comes back. A person got one time to screw me over. If I take someone back, I have to really really love them. I don't play games when it comes to love. Either you in, or your out!
+100
Posted by kim30
What do you do when you run? Do you really lock yourself in or go to a friend?
I keep calm and let it be.
Posted by kim30
What do you do when you run? Do you really lock yourself in or go to a friend?I keep calm and let it be.
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I no longer trust you.
Posted by kim30
What do you do when you run? Do you really lock yourself in or go to a friend?I keep calm and let it be.
I no longer trust you.
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trust me
Nope. You make no sense by making sense. Never trust a rational crab.
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There are those who say crabs never leave love, which I know is utter bullshit. I've seen crabs stay where they felt no love. And I've seen crabs leave where there was too much of it, if that's actually possible.
Crab to crab, I'm wondering what would make you leave a love? What goes through your mind during that side-scuttle dance?
Where or who do you run to?