think i fucked it up

i care... i care a whole lot. he said he loved me and i let myself fall. i felt too deeply, and stumbled. i finally crumbled. my feelings are true and real, even though i didnt say it back. now he can't admit what he wants... so, hurt i've backed off. broke my heart. next day he contacts me after i said to not contact me if he doesnt know what he wants. i probably messed everything up, but need to know that i mean more and be shown love. he contacted me but i havent replied. when i say it, i mean nothing but it.

Give your heart and mind time, before you respond. That is, if you choose to.

So both you and 2libras had your Cancer guys get cold feet after saying "I love you" for the first time?

Posted by paries
So both you and 2libras had your Cancer guys get cold feet after saying "I love you" for the first time?

i guess so. after expressing how much i had always been the one he cared about years ago, and telling me that he loved me twice that same night. there was no reason for him to come out and tell me this. i was honestly shocked to hear it come out of his mouth because he tries really hard to keep his feelings under wraps.
now he says that he doesnt know what he wants, and we live in different cities. i basically told him, i respect his honesty but please dont contact me anymore if he doesnt know how what he wants. so, even though it hurts, i backed off. i cant be with someone who doesnt know if they want to be with me or not. i am not interested in anybody else, and am fine being by myself. maybe he's scared of his own feelings, i donno.

I wonder if it's typical for Cancer to pull away after saying "I love you". Saying it really does put you into an emotionally open and vulnerable position. I love my bf but we've never said it to each other. I'm terribly afraid to say it. I'm afraid of what would happen next. Would he say it back? Does he even feel the same way? Would he feel that the words now come with certain expectations? I have a fantasy of what I would like to see happen. But were it not to play out exactly the way I hope, I suppose I could see myself pulling away - feeling extremely vulnerable & maybe wondering if it was a mistake to say it. I'm not sure though. I've never said "I love you" to anyone outside my family.

Okay, do you wanted him to say that to you? Why didn't you say it back?

He feels vulnerable and was expecting for you to open up to him. This is the problem I always see between Cancers and Virgos, we tend to take our time to open up and when we do, the other person shuts off completely because she's either scarred or for whatever reason and when we back away, you guys do the same and everything falls apart.

So, it's up to you if you want to keep working things up or give up.



of course i wanted to hear that from him. i didnt say it back because there were quite a few drinks involved, plus we were in the middle of.. clears throat.. ya know. i guess i just was scared that he didnt really know what he was saying. since then, i have expressed that i miss him, care and think about him. i dont want to tell him something that personal over the phone. i am a romantic so when i say it, i want him to know i mean it. if he were to open up again, or it just felt like the right time to express, i would definitely openly express how i feel without hesitation. that being said, putting myself inhis shoes, i probably would had backoff as well. i just dont want to come on too strongly and seem too needy.
i dont think i realize sometimes how aloof i may appear, because that is definitely not what is going on in the inside. so, after a few days of thinking about what matters to me and doesnt, i cant give up. i do think you are right on how virgo and cancers react. both do not like feeling vunerable.

I am a Cancer female and I tend to pull away after saying I love you. I am currently in a successful relationship with a Virguy though. I am very sorry to hear all of this,Linda. I hope things get better for you both.

I know how you feel, going thru a similar thing and it hurts alot but theres not much you can do except get on with your life. If he doesnt recipricate like my man then theres nothing you can do but get on with life and make the best of it.

Posted by Cancerflower5808
I am a Cancer female and I tend to pull away after saying I love you. I am currently in a successful relationship with a Virguy though. I am very sorry to hear all of this,Linda. I hope things get better for you both.

just curious, did you or he say it first? i am letting him have his space aand not pushing, and in the mean time staying busy and getting involved... but it is hard when your heart flutters every time you think about them or hear from them. i didnt just meet this person, btw. he was/has been the person that i have always loved but never told. we had a relationship in highschool but things happened that we grew apart and last thanksgiving reconnected. thats why him saying the things that did and backing off is hurtful and confusing. i guarded my heart bc of fear, and in turn, i think i hurt him. i'm such a true romantic and want him to understand i mean what im saying. i'm not desperate, and am fully capable of taking care of my daughter and i, but i love him with all my heart. i've been through enough shit to understand where my heart is
here's his chart if anyone cares to delve deeper. thanks for thoughts and opinions.
sun-cancer
moon-scorpio
mercury-leo
venus-virgo
mars-cancer
jup-saggitarius
saturn-libra
uranus and neptune- sag.

update: i didnt give up... but backed off. i needed to deal with personal things that he had nothing to do with, and felt it wasnt fair for him to deal with these things, even though the space hurt. I felt he pushed me away and used the time to better me. We reconnected and he wants to spend time. Of course I do too, but don't want to seem to eager. Any advice going forward would be awesome.