Poppyseeds
@Poppyseeds
10 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 695 · Topics: 28
To the sisters who are confused by your cancet, this is an example of they string you along
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
Posted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
click to expand
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
Posted by clippityclopIt's even worse when you find out everything was a lie, so now I guess depression was a lie as well... He said he broke up with people in the past, I guess this probably was how he did it.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
click to expand
I wish I saw it through last week and didn't respond with something encouraging about his situation and told him he can make it up to me later. he didn't intend to...
Posted by PoppyseedsThey are kind of dicks. 😢 Ive dealt with things like this on a smaller scale. Its like he likes the fact that someone gives a crap but is afraid of the commitment or something. Its like dating a female lolPosted by clippityclopIt's even worse when you find out everything was a lie, so now I guess depression was a lie as well... He said he broke up with people in the past, I guess this probably was how he did it.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
I wish I saw it through last week and didn't respond with something encouraging about his situation and told him he can make it up to me later. he didn't intend to...click to expand
Posted by clippityclopI would like to think even female has the integrity to tell the truth and not string anyone alongPosted by PoppyseedsThey are kind of dicks. 😢 Ive dealt with things like this on a smaller scale. Its like he likes the fact that someone gives a crap but is afraid of the commitment or something. Its like dating a female lolPosted by clippityclopIt's even worse when you find out everything was a lie, so now I guess depression was a lie as well... He said he broke up with people in the past, I guess this probably was how he did it.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
I wish I saw it through last week and didn't respond with something encouraging about his situation and told him he can make it up to me later. he didn't intend to...click to expand
Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopI would like to think even female has the integrity to tell the truth and not string anyone alongPosted by PoppyseedsThey are kind of dicks. 😢 Ive dealt with things like this on a smaller scale. Its like he likes the fact that someone gives a crap but is afraid of the commitment or something. Its like dating a female lolPosted by clippityclopIt's even worse when you find out everything was a lie, so now I guess depression was a lie as well... He said he broke up with people in the past, I guess this probably was how he did it.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
I wish I saw it through last week and didn't respond with something encouraging about his situation and told him he can make it up to me later. he didn't intend to...click to expand
Yeah. 😢 i just meant in the emotional side of things he's a female. What he's doing isnt right. Call him out on his stuff. Let him know what you're thinking
Posted by clippityclopFrom the way he talks he seems to have the gift of gab... also if he hasn't been telling the truth, there's a high chance he would ignore my text or just give me more excuses to make ME feel guilty?Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopI would like to think even female has the integrity to tell the truth and not string anyone alongPosted by PoppyseedsThey are kind of dicks. 😢 Ive dealt with things like this on a smaller scale. Its like he likes the fact that someone gives a crap but is afraid of the commitment or something. Its like dating a female lolPosted by clippityclopIt's even worse when you find out everything was a lie, so now I guess depression was a lie as well... He said he broke up with people in the past, I guess this probably was how he did it.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
I wish I saw it through last week and didn't respond with something encouraging about his situation and told him he can make it up to me later. he didn't intend to...
Yeah. 😢 i just meant in the emotional side of things he's a female. What he's doing isnt right. Call him out on his stuff. Let him know what you're thinkingclick to expand
I already responded last week to encourage him and tried to make him laugh wtih jokes and such and no respond, i wonder if he was just laughing at what a fool i was to belive in his stories...
Posted by PoppyseedsWhatre you going to do then?Posted by clippityclopFrom the way he talks he seems to have the gift of gab... also if he hasn't been telling the truth, there's a high chance he would ignore my text or just give me more excuses to make ME feel guilty?Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopI would like to think even female has the integrity to tell the truth and not string anyone alongPosted by PoppyseedsThey are kind of dicks. 😢 Ive dealt with things like this on a smaller scale. Its like he likes the fact that someone gives a crap but is afraid of the commitment or something. Its like dating a female lolPosted by clippityclopIt's even worse when you find out everything was a lie, so now I guess depression was a lie as well... He said he broke up with people in the past, I guess this probably was how he did it.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by clippityclopTha'ts how I see it now. The last time I saw him he didn't have to say we MUST move forward, then the action do the opposite.
You think hes trying to get you to leave him?
I must say it's a very well written text though...
have you had similar experience?
Yeah.. i think he must be feeling guilty for wanting to call it off or something. He's trying to get you to do it. But his message is very apologetic because he does feel bad about it. They're really bad at breaking it off with people. And I'm a cancer myself, so that's what i can compare it to. I also know a lot of cancers.
I wish I saw it through last week and didn't respond with something encouraging about his situation and told him he can make it up to me later. he didn't intend to...
Yeah. 😢 i just meant in the emotional side of things he's a female. What he's doing isnt right. Call him out on his stuff. Let him know what you're thinking
I already responded last week to encourage him and tried to make him laugh wtih jokes and such and no respond, i wonder if he was just laughing at what a fool i was to belive in his stories...click to expand
@clippityclop
Nothing I can do apart from moving on, as I have already spent time with someone else and been talking to other guys.
I see lots of people are saying how they've been strung along or confused by their cancer men. Thought I would share this as example. I'm not exposing his identity or anything.
Nothing I can do apart from moving on, as I have already spent time with someone else and been talking to other guys.
I see lots of people are saying how they've been strung along or confused by their cancer men. Thought I would share this as example. I'm not exposing his identity or anything.
Posted by PoppyseedsAh okay. Sorry for mistaking it as an advice thing!
@clippityclop
Nothing I can do apart from moving on, as I have already spent time with someone else and been talking to other guys.
I see lots of people are saying how they've been strung along or confused by their cancer men. Thought I would share this as example. I'm not exposing his identity or anything.
@instantkarma you have been right with your reading.
@clippityclop No need to apologize, I can still learn something from your advice 🙂
@clippityclop No need to apologize, I can still learn something from your advice 🙂
Posted by PoppyseedsNo worries. I'm sorry for it not working out ?
@instantkarma you have been right with your reading.
@clippityclop No need to apologize, I can still learn something from your advice 🙂
Posted by clippityclopHe hasn't been honest, if this is the way he operates he can't make it work with anyone. it explains why he was single for 18 months.Posted by PoppyseedsNo worries. I'm sorry for it not working out ?
@instantkarma you have been right with your reading.
@clippityclop No need to apologize, I can still learn something from your advice 🙂click to expand
I like how he said "None of that is an excuse" tell him to fuck off. If he can't walk the walk, don't talk the talk.
I remember those who accused me of being bitter and that you are needy. I saw his game through all along. Those who told you to chill are now quiet.
Don't beat yourself up for responding to his text. It's not wrong to be a supportive and caring person. However you must cut contact now, he probably expect you to chase to want to nature his depressed ass. By the time he is done with the other girls he will hit you up again. Just lock that door and don't give him another chance to toy with your feelings.
I remember those who accused me of being bitter and that you are needy. I saw his game through all along. Those who told you to chill are now quiet.
Don't beat yourself up for responding to his text. It's not wrong to be a supportive and caring person. However you must cut contact now, he probably expect you to chase to want to nature his depressed ass. By the time he is done with the other girls he will hit you up again. Just lock that door and don't give him another chance to toy with your feelings.
@illuminati @notsosure @impulsv
It was his claims of depression held me back, I was trying to be supportive. I wouldn't want a fair weather boyfriend who walks out on me during my lows.
It's true that stress and jobs are always there and it's about how we handle that. He's been going to therapist for a long time for stress management. he left his long term GF 4 years ago, depression was probably part of it.
I understand that depression can cause someone to withdraw and even leave a relationship. However I don't think depression would cause anyone to string others along. they can still have free will to make it a clean break.
It was his claims of depression held me back, I was trying to be supportive. I wouldn't want a fair weather boyfriend who walks out on me during my lows.
It's true that stress and jobs are always there and it's about how we handle that. He's been going to therapist for a long time for stress management. he left his long term GF 4 years ago, depression was probably part of it.
I understand that depression can cause someone to withdraw and even leave a relationship. However I don't think depression would cause anyone to string others along. they can still have free will to make it a clean break.
Posted by PoppyseedsPeople who suffers from depression are not always rationally honest. They say one thing and do another, want something but do nothing to achieve it. It's a way of self sabotaging. And then they justify to themselves why they cant do whatever or will never be whoever.
@illuminati @notsosure @impulsv
It was his claims of depression held me back, I was trying to be supportive. I wouldn't want a fair weather boyfriend who walks out on me during my lows.
It's true that stress and jobs are always there and it's about how we handle that. He's been going to therapist for a long time for stress management. he left his long term GF 4 years ago, depression was probably part of it.
I understand that depression can cause someone to withdraw and even leave a relationship. However I don't think depression would cause anyone to string others along. they can still have free will to make it a clean break.
Which sums up his email. You can't help him, walking away is your only option. He can't just snap out of depression. It's a life long thing. This guy is just too much work.
I'm not into dating more than one person at a time, if his situation is real I can't wait for him forever, and if he is stringing me along I need to get rid of him quick.
I just let him know that without feeling like he wants to stick to his words about moving forward I can't keep investing. I let him know i appreciate him and the time we had, and I'm open to revisting it in the future when he is ready and we are both single.
I just let him know that without feeling like he wants to stick to his words about moving forward I can't keep investing. I let him know i appreciate him and the time we had, and I'm open to revisting it in the future when he is ready and we are both single.
Posted by InstantkarmaFor the sake of learning more about chart reading. I knew he was trouble from Gemini and mars in Mercury, They get bored easily, tendency to lie and exaggerate stuff. I told myself astrology is not 100% so I kept getting to know him as he's been doing and right things. Aqua rising probably made him aloof, I have aqua rising and moon I am aloof but not to the point that I would put myself above others.Posted by Poppyseeds
@instantkarma you have been right with your reading.
@clippityclop No need to apologize, I can still learn something from your advice 🙂
😢
That sucks. I love to believe love can conquer anything. Stay strong. The guy didn't look like relationship material. Not sure what transpired btwn you guys, hope you find the strength to move on and find true happiness.
click to expand
Was that what you spot in him about he might not be relationship material?
Posted by Arielle83I indeed have a choice, and I ended it.
This is a depression and stress related issue.
He has his mind full.
You just aren't patient.
He is telling you he gets it if you aren't supportive or he doesn't want to hold you back.
You CHOSE to deal with a guy with work related issues and depression.
He didn't hold you hostage.
He was pretty clear.
You won't get the validation you want with someone who is SUFFERING.
Was I not patient? doubt it. I had been very patient and each time he just bring less to the table. He has time to be active on social media but doesn't have time to text. He has taken me for granted.
he also said he doens't know how to juggle things, and told me he is not available for a long persiod of time without giving the reassurance of he would see me after that period. it's obvious he is not capable of doing it,
He could have made it more clear by saying I can't do this anymore we can be friends or we can't see each other, just something along those lines. Instead he is being manipulative.
I don't hate him as I was pretty much telling him that I have to look after myself since he can't let be around to be supprotive. no point for us both to maintaitn this "dating excsluive" title while we don't see each other. giving him time to sort himself out is the best. I'm not a therapist or magician. I can't just remove depression from him.
Posted by PisAries317sorry you had to go through that, i do believe there are good cancer men out there.
My ex bf is a cancer and the relationship was a ROLLERCOASTER of emotions...mostly from him. He had the same tendency where he would "hint" to break up then just stare at me and get silent until i answered, i felt like he wanted me to agree and end it. The first two times he did it, i cried and was pissed, he felt guilty and said forget it. Then i starting realizing we might not be the best for each other and called it off with him, thinking he would agree and be fine which he quickly did...10 min later he was on his knees crying and begging for me to come back to him...i hated seeing that so i did go back to him. Things felt unresolved...
Unfortunately things got worse. Once i got back together with him, true colors started to show through more and more. He had a nasty jealous streak and would constantly text and call me to make sure i wasnt lying when i told him i was watching a movie with my dad or going out with friends.
He went back to hinting to break up and when i wasnt reacting to it, it bothered him like he wanted me to be upset as thats some sort of fucked up way to see if i care about him. I didnt respond, i was very cold toward him. He never wanted to talk things out, just try to "end" things on his terms not mine. But he could NEVER let go..
He eventually cheated on me. Probably because all the mind games he pulled on me made me very cold toward him. I didnt want anything from him...no love/affection. I felt dead inside; a hollow shell of who i formerly was...so very drained and tired. I felt like i couldnt escape.....even though i was sad he cheated, i wasnt shocked but rather relieved. It gave me the kick in the ass i needed to go and never look back. I blocked him out of my life so he didnt have the chance to make me pity him into that soul sucking relationship ever again.
Most manipulative relationship ive ever been in. Ended up just being a learning experience on what to AVOID.
anyway this is what i've learnt if someone wants to walk away let them walk.
I've been following your saga. I'm sorry you got hoovered in to their drama. Detach run!!!!
Posted by boxcarmirntaYep already sent him a message to end it, i prefer to do it face to face but he hasn't made the time to see me and tells me he is not available for a long period of time, so I had no choice but do it this way.
I've been following your saga. I'm sorry you got hoovered in to their drama. Detach run!!!!
I have handle it well but staying calm and actually giving him the benefit of the doubt by researching about depression and spoke to profesionals like doctors and psychologist firneds that i have to learn how to be a supportive partner.
However it's his choice to not let me support yet he didn't want to break it. I had to make it clear that i can't do it anymore, however the door is open if he sort himself out and I'm still single in the future.
Posted by Instantkarmasure read it when you have free time, jsut like to learn more about how to read things better.Posted by PoppyseedsPosted by InstantkarmaFor the sake of learning more about chart reading. I knew he was trouble from Gemini and mars in Mercury, They get bored easily, tendency to lie and exaggerate stuff. I told myself astrology is not 100% so I kept getting to know him as he's been doing and right things. Aqua rising probably made him aloof, I have aqua rising and moon I am aloof but not to the point that I would put myself above others.Posted by Poppyseeds
@instantkarma you have been right with your reading.
@clippityclop No need to apologize, I can still learn something from your advice 🙂
😢
That sucks. I love to believe love can conquer anything. Stay strong. The guy didn't look like relationship material. Not sure what transpired btwn you guys, hope you find the strength to move on and find true happiness.
Was that what you spot in him about he might not be relationship material?
no not his Mars or rising sign. A single aspect won't do it.
He had some Neptune aspects. The way the energy was getting triggered didn't look happy to me. I will take another look tomorrow.
Also my readings are very instinctual. So that's there.
click to expand
he has Mercury Opposition Neptune. does that mean his communication tends to bring in illusion and vivid imagination?
Posted by Arielle83You are entitle to your own opinion, after all we are just strangers, you don't know me or him.
Bottom line: you chose to Florence nightengale a dude with depression issues.
When he didn't change in your time frame you assumed he's stringing you along.
So you've made up this thing like he's got some methodical plan to string you along.
You clearly don't get depression.
Your ignorance has now led you to vindicate him.
Just like most women on dxp.
Bitter over someone not changing for them.
No one can change, but yourself.
So you did the right thing by leaving.
He has to deal with his issues.
Didn't he say he wasn't good for a relationship right now? Weren't those his words? Yet you thought you could change his mind by doing things for him.
Yet you pushed and got needy over your dates.
When you didn't feel appreciated enough, you got upset. He can't give you what you want cuz of his issues.
He told you everything. He didn't lie. You lied to yourself.
You just thought you were special enough.
It's DEPRESSION. You can't fix it, only support it.
I also get the sense that you are offended simply becuase of the "cancer" in the title. You do get that I'm not talking about you right?
His respond to my exit....
I'm sorry for disappearing so suddenly. You have been so patient and understanding, and I know it must have been frustrating over the past weeks. I definitely went into a hole of self-preservation to try and get through this very intense time. It's almost been a mental blockage that has stopped me from even being able to write to you, because I hate writing about how busy and stressed I am, it just sounds like a boring excuse to anyone else, I suspect.
I NEVER intended to play any kind of game with you - i knew that any relationship with you had to be a proper one, and I wasn't trying to draw things out to just "have fun" or anything like that. I was just as all-or-nothing about it as you, which is why I found it difficult to juggle...because it felt like a half-hearted way of treating it.
I haven't really been in t
I understand everything you wrote and I
I haven't really been in touch with what I want for a while now. My stress levels about work have mainly eclipsed my wants, I generally have been trying to survive and create some stability for myself, and it's hard to think about my emotional needs when that stability is not quite there. So it's not a matter of not wanting to see you - it's that i haven't been able to let my emotions have any oxygen.
Anyway. I'm sorry. I regret causing you confusion and I really do like you a lot. I understand that it's not sustainable like this and that you have to take care of your life beyond dealing with my chaotic crap. I hope we can speak soon when I get out of this project.
I'm sorry for disappearing so suddenly. You have been so patient and understanding, and I know it must have been frustrating over the past weeks. I definitely went into a hole of self-preservation to try and get through this very intense time. It's almost been a mental blockage that has stopped me from even being able to write to you, because I hate writing about how busy and stressed I am, it just sounds like a boring excuse to anyone else, I suspect.
I NEVER intended to play any kind of game with you - i knew that any relationship with you had to be a proper one, and I wasn't trying to draw things out to just "have fun" or anything like that. I was just as all-or-nothing about it as you, which is why I found it difficult to juggle...because it felt like a half-hearted way of treating it.
I haven't really been in t
I understand everything you wrote and I
I haven't really been in touch with what I want for a while now. My stress levels about work have mainly eclipsed my wants, I generally have been trying to survive and create some stability for myself, and it's hard to think about my emotional needs when that stability is not quite there. So it's not a matter of not wanting to see you - it's that i haven't been able to let my emotions have any oxygen.
Anyway. I'm sorry. I regret causing you confusion and I really do like you a lot. I understand that it's not sustainable like this and that you have to take care of your life beyond dealing with my chaotic crap. I hope we can speak soon when I get out of this project.
This guy is really good at teasing. He has written sorry about everything and he is taking no action while he said he likes you a lot.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
Posted by IlluminatiI'm not sure about other women, but I feel that it is excuses and he lacks empathy, if he really can't manage a relationship he should have came out and tell me he can't do it anymore, instead of keeping me hanging. He has no respect to me.
This guy is really good at teasing. He has written sorry about everything and he is taking no action while he said he likes you a lot.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
Posted by notsosureHe only tell me after I left him, if I didn't do that and just be patient and understanding he wouldn't have come right out.Posted by PoppyseedsBut is´t that exactly what he has been doing? Woman be honest with yourself and you shall be more happy. Be thanksfull he has told you, accept it and let it go.Posted by IlluminatiI'm not sure about other women, but I feel that it is excuses and he lacks empathy, if he really can't manage a relationship he should have came out and tell me he can't do it anymore, instead of keeping me hanging. He has no respect to me.
This guy is really good at teasing. He has written sorry about everything and he is taking no action while he said he likes you a lot.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
click to expand
Posted by notsosureThat just proved my point, he was stringing me along. I saw throuhg it and call it a quit. Like @illuminati said he was being very apologetic not becuase he is sincre, becuase he is using it as a way to manipulate me.Posted by PoppyseedsI think he did. That´s my interpretation of what you have written in this topic.Posted by notsosureHe only tell me after I left him, if I didn't do that and just be patient and understanding he wouldn't have come right out.Posted by PoppyseedsBut is´t that exactly what he has been doing? Woman be honest with yourself and you shall be more happy. Be thanksfull he has told you, accept it and let it go.Posted by IlluminatiI'm not sure about other women, but I feel that it is excuses and he lacks empathy, if he really can't manage a relationship he should have came out and tell me he can't do it anymore, instead of keeping me hanging. He has no respect to me.
This guy is really good at teasing. He has written sorry about everything and he is taking no action while he said he likes you a lot.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
It is really true what they say: if somebody wants to be with you, the signs will be clear. It won´t even be signs, it will be communicated directly. If it is not, you might as well leave it alone. A lesson we all have to learn, but once you know, it makes things so much easier 🙂 Enjoy your life 🙂
click to expand
Posted by notsosureIts ok you haven't seen my previous post, it was HIM who said he really wants to be with me and move things foward the last time i saw him. Without me prompting him to say anythingPosted by PoppyseedsI think he did. That´s my interpretation of what you have written in this topic.Posted by notsosureHe only tell me after I left him, if I didn't do that and just be patient and understanding he wouldn't have come right out.Posted by PoppyseedsBut is´t that exactly what he has been doing? Woman be honest with yourself and you shall be more happy. Be thanksfull he has told you, accept it and let it go.Posted by IlluminatiI'm not sure about other women, but I feel that it is excuses and he lacks empathy, if he really can't manage a relationship he should have came out and tell me he can't do it anymore, instead of keeping me hanging. He has no respect to me.
This guy is really good at teasing. He has written sorry about everything and he is taking no action while he said he likes you a lot.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
It is really true what they say: if somebody wants to be with you, the signs will be clear. It won´t even be signs, it will be communicated directly. If it is not, you might as well leave it alone. A lesson we all have to learn, but once you know, it makes things so much easier 🙂 Enjoy your life 🙂
click to expand
Posted by notsosureCommunication means nothing. It's action that counts.Posted by PoppyseedsI think he did. That´s my interpretation of what you have written in this topic.Posted by notsosureHe only tell me after I left him, if I didn't do that and just be patient and understanding he wouldn't have come right out.Posted by PoppyseedsBut is´t that exactly what he has been doing? Woman be honest with yourself and you shall be more happy. Be thanksfull he has told you, accept it and let it go.Posted by IlluminatiI'm not sure about other women, but I feel that it is excuses and he lacks empathy, if he really can't manage a relationship he should have came out and tell me he can't do it anymore, instead of keeping me hanging. He has no respect to me.
This guy is really good at teasing. He has written sorry about everything and he is taking no action while he said he likes you a lot.
He is letting you go and pretty much saying I will let you know when I'm bored and lonely. He's probably got a harem of women going through right now. He is glad you left by yourself.
It is really true what they say: if somebody wants to be with you, the signs will be clear. It won´t even be signs, it will be communicated directly. If it is not, you might as well leave it alone. A lesson we all have to learn, but once you know, it makes things so much easier 🙂 Enjoy your life 🙂
click to expand
Posted by Arielle83Posted by PoppyseedsYet you've created a thread, demonizing cancer men, claiming there was a lead on.Posted by Arielle83I indeed have a choice, and I ended it.
This is a depression and stress related issue.
He has his mind full.
You just aren't patient.
He is telling you he gets it if you aren't supportive or he doesn't want to hold you back.
You CHOSE to deal with a guy with work related issues and depression.
He didn't hold you hostage.
He was pretty clear.
You won't get the validation you want with someone who is SUFFERING.
Was I not patient? doubt it. I had been very patient and each time he just bring less to the table. He has time to be active on social media but doesn't have time to text. He has taken me for granted.
he also said he doens't know how to juggle things, and told me he is not available for a long persiod of time without giving the reassurance of he would see me after that period. it's obvious he is not capable of doing it,
He could have made it more clear by saying I can't do this anymore we can be friends or we can't see each other, just something along those lines. Instead he is being manipulative.
I don't hate him as I was pretty much telling him that I have to look after myself since he can't let be around to be supprotive. no point for us both to maintaitn this "dating excsluive" title while we don't see each other. giving him time to sort himself out is the best. I'm not a therapist or magician. I can't just remove depression from him.
click to expand
Posted by Arielle83^^^^^^^ this
Bottom line: you chose to Florence nightengale a dude with depression issues.
When he didn't change in your time frame you assumed he's stringing you along.
So you've made up this thing like he's got some methodical plan to string you along.
You clearly don't get depression.
Your ignorance has now led you to vindicate him.
Just like most women on dxp.
Bitter over someone not changing for them.
No one can change, but yourself.
So you did the right thing by leaving.
He has to deal with his issues.
Didn't he say he wasn't good for a relationship right now? Weren't those his words? Yet you thought you could change his mind by doing things for him.
Yet you pushed and got needy over your dates.
When you didn't feel appreciated enough, you got upset. He can't give you what you want cuz of his issues.
He told you everything. He didn't lie. You lied to yourself.
You just thought you were special enough.
It's DEPRESSION. You can't fix it, only support it.
somebody give this lady an award
Posted by notsosureYea it was me who said the BUT. I said lets take it slow, if you think you are gonna be that busy. he then added "BUT we must keep moving forward!!!"
Okai. I thought he told you something like "I really want to push things forward, BUT"..
Well now you know, next time it will be much easier for you to not go down the same road and feel like you have been led on 🙂
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
i did something she doesn't like unintentionally, but i sent her a message about it explaining the situation to her, but until now she is still avoiding me. we've known each other for 4 years.. she was sweet, nice and friendly and we were really close (in
Went on a first date with him and checked his chart. It seems I keep meeting men that are compatible then it's always something that worries me in the chart. Please give me feedback so I can cut it off quick if need be
Cancer sun
Virgo moon
Aries Mar
been with my cancer man for just over 3 years, living together for 2.5 years ......this is my longest r/ship (but not his) and we bought a house together last year.
I'm on the pisces/aries cusp so not typical aries and he's very stubborn cancer, with a
Been dating exclusively for 4 months, he is really lovely and we connect very well. However timing is not on our side. He is going through a lot emotionally and career wise. Haven't seen him in 2 weeks and he apologizes to me a lot. He did let the ball dr
To all of my wonderful cancers, am I being oversensitive or did I make the right decision?
I have been seeing this virgo guy and we've been having a lot of communication issues. He was also good friends with a libra woman. There was no committment, but
my question being who is your good match cancerian women? do you make up your mind at some point? what is/ was your best relationship sign (rising too if you know)
my very cute cancerian bff finds it hard to find a guy she likes or get along with, insp
Okay I'm really over this cancer man. I was being nice as a friend until he started asking me questions like we were in a relationship like where i be going or who i be with ? I don't answer he gets mad saying stupid craps to me giving me an attitude. Do
I am a Capricorn man needing advice on a Cancer woman.
This Cancer woman, and I have had a few years of flirting when we were around at a bar she frequents. Pretty heavy remarks from her sexually suggestive. She had a boyfriend until recently. When I w
So i've still been talking to my cancer man randomly, nothing serious. I've come to the point where I accepted the fact that he and I were only ever going to be fwb. But get this, though i've tried to see him, and he says that he misses me a lot, we haven
Why do you guys (Cancers and non-Cancers) think that Cancers get so depressed or fall into this detached state? One moment we are really bright and energetic then the next we just want to be alone and have nothing to do with anyone. This can last for days
Would you cancer fellas??
I have a cancer man trying to pursue me, like Ode.. He know I have a man.. He's not friends with my boyfriend but they know each other. They work in the same neighborhood and have mutual friends.
Who said cancer men are so
I'm a Scorpio woman and have known this Cancer friend for more than 20 years. About 2 months ago, I met him at another friend's house. I trust him completely, so told him of my decision to separate from my husband. We got a little high that night and afte
Have you ever had a long-term (more than a year) crush?
How do you act when you're attracted to someone?
What usually makes you fall MADLY in love/head-over-wheels for someone?
What makes you happily satisfied in a relationship?
On a scale of 1 to
Hi,
What could it mean if a man (cancer sun, aquarius moon, taurus mars, leo venus) is hardly ever verbally or physically affectionate but all good in every other way?
Examples of his "good traits" - initiates contact daily, initiates plans for the
Today, I'm missing him a lot... I let my mind run free with all thoughts of him.
It reminded me of 1 particular incident which seemed to hint at him giving thought to me as a potential partner.
When he had lengthily told me his thoughts on pursuing
I've posted about this Cancer guy I'm seeing before. Things are going ok. We've been together 8 weeks, no exclusive talk. He's done something strange 3 times.
First, he was at a golf tournament and there were scantily girls there who were flirting wit
I dated a guy we broke up because he fucked me over. I told him I wasnt going to talk to him or see him again. Three months later he still hasn't let go. He always texts me first or calls but one night a girl texted me from his phone. I politely asked him
oh man where do i start. I went to the gym and i cant for the life of me seem to stick to a work out routine, i mean i do it at most for a few days straight but then after a bit i stop working out.
it's like it's just boring. but then i tried eating he
I need some insight, My male cancer friend of 13 months has recently become focused on helping me to improve my quality of life. He told me, that he is my own personal life coach. Keep in mind I have never asked for his help and I'm happy my life, caree
His ACTION didn't back it up as I haven's seen him for 3 weeks, the last text from him was early last week, he sounded very sincere that you can't help but feel bad for him. I responded to let him know I sympathize his situation and that he can make it up to me later. He hasn't responded until now and it's been a week, I know he is alive as he has been active on social media.
When dating a cancer guy don't listen to his words, his words are always sincere look at his action. Below is the text that had me fooled last week.
"Hey. It's me that should apologise to you for being totally off the radar.
This project has been a huge thing that has taken over my life since I saw you last. The days are very long and it took me most of last week to adjust to the stress of it all. I'm enjoying it but i feel a lot of pressure to do a good job, and when I finish I just want to go home and sleep to try and refuel my spirit for the next day. I'm in a pattern of self preservation.
None of that is an excuse for not staying in decent contact with you, but maybe it partly explains it. I'm so preoccupied with trying to do a good job and to forge a stable life for myself in my profession that it's hard for me to think about other things: friends, family and love too. It's not my wish to be so single-minded, it's just that mentally and physically I can't seem to juggle it all.
People always say "we do what we want to do" but it's actually difficult for me to know how I could have managed this better. I feel like I'm just getting by. It's not who I want to be in the long term but I don't really know how else I could be doing things without stuffing up the job!
Agh. I'm sorry. I don't know how to bring you into my rollercoaster without it just adding to my nerves about juggling things. It's too overwhelming for me to consider when I'm in this state.
I don't want this message to be definitive about anything because that would SUCK. I just don't know how to make things any better for the next 3 weeks while this is still going on. x"