What the hell to do?

Instead he just said:?? we only accept the love we think we deserve, it is much easier to just believe that I will not be there when the chips are down than to admit that you panicked and thought I would never love you, so, you just reject me first. Do you want me to fight for you? Do you want me to just say goodbye? I told you this is not ok with me?? And with that he said he cared for me lot but thinks I need to detach from him and deal with what is bothering me. Which looking back he was right, but the rejection just hurt like hell.

So in the end, while in my mind I was trying to save him from my emotional mess, giving him the option of —space?? he took it as rejection and being made a fool. So he get my shit together and we may talk. Not tomorrow, not next week and not next month. So after a few days, he wouldn't take my calls or reply to my messages, I wrote him a long heartfelt letter sharing everything with him, so he could understand. He read it saying it was really heartfelt and understood many things, but he still stands by what he said??_ to sort out myself and that he needs time. And well like a dumba $ $ I just kept pushing him to tell me if he still loved me, wanted me or was I deleted out of the pic. And when I didn't get an answer I became really defensive saying shit like Ok, I guess you??re happy without me. Which looking back, I know how wrong it was. I wrote him daily a message, I didn't dare call, he replied to each of them fairly quickly and in neutral way still calling me by my special nickname yet still enforcing need space, and saying we can't go back to where we were, but we could be friends and let things develop naturally from there. And me still being stubborn riding on the ok, we can be friends. I need to know we are ok, otherwise I can't deal with my own crap. Cos he never once told me we were ok, that he wasn't mad at me or understood what I was going through, etc. Which again looking back was wrong to say .. talking out of emotions instead being rational. I don't know this guy brought the best out of me, yet the worse too.

The chats got smaller and more cold. I told him I accepted we could only be friends, but his coldness hurt me. I felt the connection was lost. He said he still felt the connection but we both need time to detach. This word detach drove me crazy. I didn't want to detach. I knew we couldn't go back to how things were, but I wanted to overcome the issues, least communicate openly. But he just shut me out, the talks were very vague small talk. here and there mentioning a song about heartbreak, not wanting to love someone, etc. I went on holiday for 20 days. Before our break up I was planning to surprise him with the holiday as our official meeting but after the break up and him mentioning him declining his friend??s invite, I thought what's the point. So I went on the holiday, alone thinking it would give the time and space. I called him before I went. He said to write him a travel log He was so dry, not having much to say.. I just cried. When on holiday I contacted him but again he was cold. So at one point he said he doesn't talk to anyone as much as he talks to me, and it feels like a job. So I got defensive again, saying fine, tell me how to be your friend exactly, what are the rules? He said no rules, just feel free to contact me when you want but the level of contact is way too much (daily) and how he feels I'm trying to control him and push him. So I was like WTF? How does this make sense. I just want to know where we stand. This cut deeply. So I said fine, but really wasn't fine to me. He left it at he can handle talking once weekly. Since that day I??ve contacted him few times but each time he's either busy, about to go eat or to go bed. brush offs in my mind. So finally last Thursday I wrote him saying I wasn't sure what to write him, without him misunderstanding me, but I don't deserve to be treated like a leper. I don't deserve not knowing where I stand. I can't go initiating communication. (since it's been me since the —break-up?? not him) It's been over a month and now it's come down to common sense for me. If he really wants to be friends, as he says he needs to meet me halfway. And how I wish this ignoring, punishment or shell time would stop. Own up to your feelings, whatever they are. I'm not mind reader. And not about trying to control him but I can't live in this state of not knowing, confusion and misunderstanding.

And while I know everyone has their own life, I think a person can give a person they care about, gf or friend whatever least a msg saying hey I'm still thinking about you or something. And I said I don't need quantity communication but quality. And I asked him to be sooo clear what what he feels, wants, excepts, leaving no doubt for me. He replied few hours later, saying he was overloaded with work, new project. he's not playing a game but when he's available and I am too, we can talk. I didn't know what to reply ??_ just today I replied I wish him success with the project. but me what I want to know is ??_ Is it over? Am I holding out for nothing? I know I messed up with him, not trusting him enough to share what was going on ??_ but to me I don't think what I did warranted all this from him. Maybe I'm wrong, donnow. During this time apart, 2 events happened that were very important me ??_ 2 painful anniversaries which he knew about, even advised me about them. But on the days he didn't even made an attempt to contact me. Which to me hurt so much. His birthday is coming up, I'm wondering if I should bother writing him. And I??ll be travelling, possible job move ??_ should I bother telling him? I don't know. Sigh

------------- sorry that was really long and dragged out. But really this is something I can't just say fk it to. He care for him deeply and even if we could only have a friendship after what happened, well it would be better than this misery or nothing at all. I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you!

"Instead he just said:?? we only accept the love we think we deserve, it is much easier to just believe that I will not be there when the chips are down than to admit that you panicked and thought I would never love you, so, you just reject me first. Do you want me to fight for you? Do you want me to just say goodbye? I told you this is not ok with me?? And with that he said he cared for me lot but thinks I need to detach from him and deal with what is bothering me. Which looking back he was right, but the rejection just hurt like hell."

So in the end, while in my mind I was trying to save him from my emotional mess, giving him the option of —space?? he took it as rejection and being made a fool. So he get my shit together and we may talk. Not tomorrow, not next week and not next month. So after a few days, he wouldn't take my calls or reply to my messages, I wrote him a long heartfelt letter sharing everything with him, so he could understand. He read it saying it was really heartfelt and understood many things, but he still stands by what he said??_ to sort out myself and that he needs time. And well like a dumba $ $ I just kept pushing him to tell me if he still loved me, wanted me or was I deleted out of the pic. And when I didn't get an answer I became really defensive saying shit like Ok, I guess you??re happy without me. Which looking back, I know how wrong it was. I wrote him daily a message, I didn't dare call, he replied to each of them fairly quickly and in neutral way still calling me by my special nickname yet still enforcing need space, and saying we can't go back to where we were, but we could be friends and let things develop naturally from there."

I don't think it was rejection. I think you are projecting an insecurity. In the second quoted paragraph, his standing firm seems to be a fairly mature response given the context of the complete story you have posted. In a sense, you initiated the push away. He appeared to be willing to accept the need for space, that you have a lot of emotional turmoil going on, and was willing to be there. He is also not going to take things further than friendship at this time.
Your statements like "Ok, I guess you??re happy without me" sound like placing pressure on him (especially after telling him —You shouldn't waste your time with me.??) . That's why he is keeping space.

Yes, looking back it was insecurity and also not being able to deal with emotions I had with him and what happened at that party. But in truth, I want him. For more than friends ... but I'm sure for both our sakes friendship is all we can have now. But how to proceed?

What I'm saying here is that you need to respect the distance for now. You did ask for it, and he is allowing it.
If you push, he'll disappear.
You're obviously conflicted and have things to sort out. And they appear to be things you have to do for yourself. He sounds like he is willing to wait for that.
Either accept what he is willing to give you based the context of your posts, and allow things to grow organically, or move on.

You are right again, but it just doesn't sit well with me. Since yes, I did ask for the space, but I didn't think space meant not communicating or totally going from deep connection to almost talking to someone you're being forced to interact with. I don't want anything like that. I opened up to him, like no one else. And right at the time I was already going through alot, coping with death of my mother, sh!tload of things going on at work ... all of which he knew about; And to me logically a person would be empathetic to these things. The thing at the party was the tipping point for me, really. And while I didn't communicate myself (not good at it really) I think he should have understood ... and cutting off the relationship was a bit much IMHO. And the two events he missed, one being a memorial for my mum who passed, well I didn't expect him to jump to my side comforting, although would have been nice, I least thought as a human being he could have least sent me a message saying hey, I'm thinking of you at this trying time.

And it's funny you use this word 'organic' he has used this words many times, too. And also saying small talk (which I agree) is plastic, and if we have nothing (deep) to talk about, it's all plastic and can't waste time on plastic things. Well, I feel the same ... but to have any meaningful conversation you need to be open to it. And as a Cap I'm a goal oriented person, so this organic ... it happens by planting seeds in various things (projects, relationships) and nurturing it ... not just waiting for things to happen out of thin air as he seems to. So to me, for relationship, even friendship we need to work at it, nurture it. And while I am trying and will respect the space... since I also need the same, total cut-off this is just what doesn't settle well. Cos for me, when I cut off someone off, it's for good. And if he means to end it with me for good, then I'd wish he'd just say it.

So I'm going to ask again ... should I bother sending him a birthday card or message? I know for myself, even if in conflict I'd want it from people in my life. And also I'm going to be doing some traveling ... with possible move .. .should I mention this to him? Should he need to know? Does he even care?
:ppp I hate feeling out of control and not knowing how I stand. If he would only tell me ... this shell time he needs would be easier for me ... even I could deal with my own crap better ... if I knew where we stood.

Posted by Cappedoff
You are right again, but it just doesn't sit well with me. Since yes, I did ask for the space, but I didn't think space meant not communicating or totally going from deep connection to almost talking to someone you're being forced to interact with. I don't want anything like that. I opened up to him, like no one else. And right at the time I was already going through alot, coping with death of my mother, sh!tload of things going on at work ... all of which he knew about; And to me logically a person would be empathetic to these things. The thing at the party was the tipping point for me, really. And while I didn't communicate myself (not good at it really) I think he should have understood ... and cutting off the relationship was a bit much IMHO. And the two events he missed, one being a memorial for my mum who passed, well I didn't expect him to jump to my side comforting, although would have been nice, I least thought as a human being he could have least sent me a message saying hey, I'm thinking of you at this trying time.

I don't think he cut you off. He's keeping his distance. Not the same thing.
I think, just from reading your posts, he was probably "into" the communication you had, but the back and forth I think was like tossing a bomb into the room, like "where the hell is all this coming from?", in other words a lot of heavy all at once.

And it's funny you use this word 'organic' he has used this words many times, too. And also saying small talk (which I agree) is plastic, and if we have nothing (deep) to talk about, it's all plastic and can't waste time on plastic things. Well, I feel the same ... but to have any meaningful conversation you need to be open to it. And as a Cap I'm a goal oriented person, so this organic ... it happens by planting seeds in various things (projects, relationships) and nurturing it ... not just waiting for things to happen out of thin air as he seems to. So to me, for relationship, even friendship we need to work at it, nurture it. And while I am trying and will respect the space... since I also need the same, total cut-off this is just what doesn't settle well. Cos for me, when I cut off someone off, it's for good. And if he means to end it with me for good, then I'd wish he'd just say it.

click to expand

Like I said before, I don't think it was a total c

Like I said before, I don't think it was a total cut off. But I think your communication after the "space-break" episode probably was interpreted as a little wishy washy. He was probably unsure of where he stood with you (plus some of it might have seemed a little crazy with needing space and then followed by "you don't want me, fine"). Not saying you are crazy, just saying that might be how it comes off perception wise.
I say organic in letting things progress as they may--no timetables, schedules, goals.

So I'm going to ask again ... should I bother sending him a birthday card or message? I know for myself, even if in conflict I'd want it from people in my life. And also I'm going to be doing some traveling ... with possible move .. .should I mention this to him? Should he need to know? Does he even care?
:ppp I hate feeling out of control and not knowing how I stand. If he would only tell me ... this shell time he needs would be easier for me ... even I could deal with my own crap better ... if I knew where we stood.

No harm in sending a birthday card. Just keep it firmly as a friends basis. Don't expect a sudden change.
He has already told you where you stand-friends. That's not a bad thing. You can even let him know about events of traveling and moving, but frame it in terms of you being busy and not in a way that would be interpreted as an attempt to coerce some sort of "answer" from him. The latter WILL backfire.
Get your own crap dealt with first. To be honest, until you do that, I can't see him being any more than a friend.
Gotta run, beerfest to attend. Hope it helps.

@CancerOnTheCusp -
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and give your option. Well, looking back I do agree I was very pathetic and crazy in my reactions. I'm normally much more composed, but I obviously wasn't talking to him. Just threw out all the defence mechanisms out there. And he knew it, since he called me out on it. I wish I could change my reactions, but can't. If I were him, I'd personally think twice before having a relationship with a nutcase. But I guess I still want to have hope since my intentions were in the right place. Just the communication wasn't correct.

I don't want to coerce him into anything - either way. But I just like to know where we stand. 2 weeks ago he told I need to be honest, not use defence mechanisms. And the more I fight, the less I'll get from him since he feels I'm hiding what I feel. And said just stand up for my feelings. But honestly, to me all this expressing of my vulnerablitities -- how is this hiding what I'm feeling? I'm the one contacting him. he has yet to contact me once on his own.

@time2-
We "broke up" May 15. I was contacting him almost daily trying to get him out of his shell until June 11 He kept by his same "I need to detach. I need space. I'm not ok with this. etc" what I mentioned above. June 12, I wrote him a txt, he said he was on phone and will be on the phone for while. So I replied ok, whenever you have the time. I waited a day, then just wrote him ok I take your lack of response as affirmation you don't want to talk to me anymore? He replied saying I was the one that doesn't seem like I want to be friends. (where he got that from I don't know. I'm the one contacting him afterall. Then he wrote he didn't want a friendship which more stress than fun, so he thinks I should detach myself from him. And if I ever feel I'm out of that feeling contact him. Doesn't want to be the cause of pain. And fighting like we have been doing isn't ok with him. And i'll never get closer to him like this. And he's feeling even more distant now. It's all intense and I'm too intense. Give space and let things calm down. And finished with .. Don't worry, the day I don't want to talk with you, you'll be first to know.To this I just replied, well instead of this very indifferent answer he could be a little more encouraging. "You'll be first to know" isn't that encouraging. He said he couldn't say anymore but give time, breath, we talk in sometime. And finished with big kiss. Well, again the defences came up I said alright enjoy your dinner. I can't return the kiss but I'll shake your hand. After that he posted a song on FB "Break my legs so I won't walk to you. Cut my tongue so I can't talk to you. Burn my skin so I can't feel you. Stab my eyes so I can't see" So to me was like him saying we are done. Since he hasn't been online. I wrote him the last time on the 24th as I mentioned above saying it's been over a month, own up to the feelings either way. And the reply I got was he's swamped with work but "we can talk" when we both are avaliable. Nothing since then.

And about "puncturing his dream image" yeah, I'm sure I did that. But ironically, he was the one from the beginning stressing saying the horrible truths even if they hurt. Yet when I was totally honest and vulnerable it backfires ... and he actually said "the magic was gone." But we could be friends and let things develop naturally.

Posted by time2
Ya, I would send the card. His rxn to your moving will help give you info about where you stand in his heart. Most Cancer men carry a secret chamber in their heart for a woman they love/are falling in love with. Get some of your vulnerabilities out there - I know as a Cap you don't like doing this - but it will help him see you clearer.

I've thought about it and yeah I'll send a card. Nothing too much. Something funny and that's it. He can take it how he wants.
And about vulnerabilities ... I can't think of any way to be more vulnerable or honest than I have been. The only shitty thing I've done is have the defence mechanisms up, which I apologized for several times. I have self-respect. The ball is in his court. He needs to meet me least half way. Or least be honest enough to say it's over. Cos to me after all this time ... it feels more like punishment or game playing that someone needs space. I could be wrong, but this is what I feel.

Thank you also for your thoughts.

So I couldn't stand it anymore, I sent him just a simple sms saying "I miss you". After several hours, I get a reply back "hope you're doing well." I was over the moon to get it so I simply replied "I am. How are you?" His reply was just I'm ok, thanks. just waking up. So I replied, "Good, Good morning to you." After that no response for about half hour, so I just put down my phone. Again, not much to go on ... are we, aren't we? It's his birthday in a few days, I plan to wish him happy birthday but I hear nothing back it'll be pretty much be a dead end for me. No reason to keep killing myself for someone that could care less.

Thank you every for all your advice.

hmm..he's making himself busy with work..give him time to grow if you still love this person. But of course don't forget to take care of yourself. It's hard to lose a friendship with solid foundation. I remember before had a fight with ex scorp, we didn't talk for 3 weeks, nobody wants to make the 1st move. He'll be back when he's ready. Haven't experienced being with a cap before. Well there, sorry if I didn't help much.

If he doesn't love you anymore, let him go. You deserve somebody better. Not all cancers are the same. I hope you find someone that'll make you happy.

Well in conflict it's not the person who intitates but who responded that has the upper hand. And so far he has not responded... So while I have invested myself in that person way more than I have with anyone before and so soon. I overlooked all his flaws and strangely rude and illy formed commentary and jokes. I do have my self respect... And at a certain point common sense overulues the live feelings. It's obviously he doesn't love me. And doesn't even care for my feelings... Just his own. If he did he wouldn't have played games with me like that. Honesty is always best, something he asked for from day one yet failed to give himself. I can just say I grossly misjudged him and the situation... I've learnt quite a few lessons With this relationship which I hope to take for the future.

If he wanted only friendship he should have never brought intimacy into the picture since I made myself clear on that. And even in friendship a person doesn't abandon their friends when they are down. So while I'm not even close to being perfect anything I don't abandon my friends or loved ones. He said many clever things to reel me and convince me of his very vague views during and after the break up but in the end the actions didn't match the words. Always best to be honest... To tell the person straight I don't X X X things from but I do want X X X things from you. No reason to be seemingly diplomatic when you hurt the other with falseness. I understand everyone trying to protect themselves yet it doesn't make it right if you end up hurting another person. So after all this time getting nothing from him, all I can do is step back from all this misery, try to recover, overcome and continue with life. And deal with my own personal issues.

I need real people in my life not the ones who are around when it's fun.

You seem to be an extremist. That venus isnt in scorpio is it?

All Im getting from this is that you need to calm yourself down, and find something else to focus on because you are going to drive yourself crazy with this black and white ping pong type of thinking.

Respectfully I don't really see how I'm being an extremist. And yes to me things are easier to deal with if they're black or the. Either we're dating or not. We're friends or not. Not this "we're dating or friends when it is fun and convenient for you"
Anyway the point being it was when I exposed my vulnerabilities and "secrets" to him when he started moving sideways away from me.. I was just too blind in love to see it. Which is my mistake. And yes while I do miss him and think about him time to time I am calm and focusing on my life.

How do your emotions swing from missing him and texting that. to concluding that theres no love there and you are moving on within hours?

I can't really conclude anything, but since he's giving very little as feelings or actions to go on ... so whatever I can conclude or do is coming from my side. If he'd give me something from his side, then everything would be more clear. More rational and less emotionally based.

But my mood is pretty much steady ... he hurt me, even before the break up. I tried my best to forgive and forget. I forgave but couldn't forget. I'm hurt he made fun of me, when I shared with him my vulnerablities. He shared his, too, but no where in there did I make fun of him or make him feel inferior because of them. in fact, I did the opposite. i accepted his.

And it's been now 2 months since our breaking up. Not just a few hours. So I think in that time, he could have come up with some type conversation to have with me, to say yes I want to be in relationship with you or not. Or yes, I'd like to just be friends or I'd just like to break free totally.

The problem here is lack of communication (with words and actions), maybe based on our Zodiac signs or our past experiences or combnation of both. Neither of us are the type to use people, but in turn we both hurt each other. I felt he rejected me when I shared my vulnerablities, so I didn't share all the problems I was having, preferred to deal with them on my own. And just say I needed some space. And when I mentioned space I was very specific how and what. He knew I meant a week maybe two max to get through it all. It didn't mean total cut off of the relationship. But used his defense mechanism of being into his shell. He didn't communicate his real feelings to me. just went into his shell. I tried to get him out, letting him know I missed him, still needed him, etc but he still wouldn't open up. I let him know where I stood with things in my life and with him. Somehting I wouldn't normally do with people. If someone hurts me or disrespects me, they get cut off. Maybe it's the Cap in me. But for him I bend A LOT. And I told him straight, if you keep this up then you'dll push me to detach. And when I detach, there won't be any relationship. Not romantic or friendship. So all I asked was for him to give me something to go on. Something to let me know we're ok or it's over. I don't think that's very much to ask for. But instead he took it as I'm controlling him. which never was my intention. And looking at it, letting someone hang for 2 months isn't that manipulative?! My emotions are steady. I love him and I want h

I love him and I want him in my life. I can accept us being friends, only if he's really going to be a real friend. And if we can clearly define our relationship. But if he doesn't want, then I would like him to say it - not string me along. And since he hasn't said a word in 2 m, outside of I can't talk about it now, I want us to be friends, I if I don't want you in my life, Iyou'll be first to know, but I can't talk to you right now, contact me whenever you want, but not more than once a week, then when I contact once week he says he's too busy and has nothing more to say. I'm sorry but this isn't nice or behaviour of someone who cares at all. It's like playing with a yo-yo. And I'm not a yo-yo. I have feelings too. So from all this vagueness I can only say as everyone else has said, I'm stepping back, hurt but trying to recover, overcome and continue with my life. if he doesn't comes around, i'll cope. If he does come around, I'm not sure where everything will be. I'll love him for long time, maybe forever, but I'm not sure I could accept him back. If that's extreme, well I'm sorry then I'm extreme. I need to protect myself, too.

Lots of people don't know what they're getting into before they decide to mess with a cancer. Cancers are sweet and innocent and clingy but their also detached and independent ad go with their own flow. The ones who win over cancers are the ones who know how to interrupt their flow and make them go with the flow with them because they know how to open up their mouth and say I want you or I need you even when they are in their own flow. You gotta be tough and confident to take one on.

Whenever you think about a cancer having a upper hand or not that's when you know you lost. They don't like power struggles and will just walk the other way.

When a cancer sees you will never give yourself to live they'll leave you in the dust

Posted by lnana04
You seem to be an extremist. That venus isnt in scorpio is it?

All Im getting from this is that you need to calm yourself down, and find something else to focus on because you are going to drive yourself crazy with this black and white ping pong type of thinking.

Exactly. That cancer is probably stressed out by this. Don't sound like he wanted to hurt you sounded like e tried his best to keep the peace and move into love slowly but since you see either black or white when his world is grey he finally gets fed up and moves onto someone who can see grey and take it moment by moment and not stress them out or make them feel bad about stuff they shouldn't feel bad about or open their heart with no rules to love and just go with the flow.

Posted by StarChild63
When a cancer sees you will never give yourself to live they'll leave you in the dust

Well, sharing with him all my vulnerblities well that was to me a HUGE sign of love. But maybe not for him?! But him making fun of me, well that was a huge break of trust and put a wedge between our developing love. But I guess you're right, seems like he left me in the dust.

Left the door open to wait for you to get your emotional mess together. And probably his too. Time heals all wounds. Maybe when it's all over you both can communicate like adults.

Posted by StarChild63

Posted by lnana04
You seem to be an extremist. That venus isnt in scorpio is it?

All Im getting from this is that you need to calm yourself down, and find something else to focus on because you are going to drive yourself crazy with this black and white ping pong type of thinking.

Exactly. That cancer is probably stressed out by this. Don't sound like he wanted to hurt you sounded like e tried his best to keep the peace and move into love slowly but since you see either black or white when his world is grey he finally gets fed up and moves onto someone who can see grey and take it moment by moment and not stress them out or make them feel bad about stuff they shouldn't feel bad about or open their heart with no rules to love and just go with the flow.

click to expand

I agree love is about flow, but how we treat each and communicate, well there should be some ground rules, like honesty and saying what we mean. And when we were in the 'developing relationship' stage I was very open to grey ... but once he dumped me, then came back with let's be friends, then I said ok, but then we need to define what friendship is. friendship to me isn't fkfriends, sorry not my thing.

You can pm me but what was it you were vulnerable over? The cancers I know and one I knew in particular had very dark humor sometimes and would laugh at things that most people don't find funny but at the same time when she did that with people they felt less vulnerable and more relaxed. She knew how to take the pain and humiliation out of it by finding something to smile and laugh at and that's why peopl would be scared and nervous around when their vulnerable but they would also prefer to be around her only when vulnerable because they knew she would make that vulnerability smaller and then after you both laughed it off she would pull you to the side and have a real talk session about it. Maybe your rude ass cancer didn't get to the real talk part. Maybe you make him scared or vulnerable yourself with all that demanding

She would laugh at her own problems and horrible flaws too. They don't take things so seriously and tend to run away when other people take things way too seriously.

Posted by StarChild63
She would laugh at her own problems and horrible flaws too. They don't take things so seriously and tend to run away when other people take things way too seriously.

You are probably right. I do tend to take things seriously. And certain things I never even dare touch, joke about.

And thinking about it he was probably trying to build a love relationship by breaking it down and starting over at friends just so he could get a chance to get to know you better.

Could be. I don't really know. He's too vague to give me anything to go on or even hope for. But time will tell. Either way I'm stepping back.

Thank you all for your time, consideration and advice.

Posted by Cappedoff
Could be. I don't really know. He's too vague to give me anything to go on or even hope for. But time will tell. Either way I'm stepping back.

Thank you all for your time, consideration and advice.

When i'm to pusshed or when i 'm feeling to much held down, i back away from that person. Maybe that 's not for all cancers so . I think it's better tot step away. By still wanting to text him every now and then , you push him away.

But it has been over 2 months sinds you heared from him? Then it wasn't meant to be i'm afraid ....


Hope you are alright and feeling a bit better today.

@linda
Its been, 2month since we broke up and actually week half since we texted. Everything began from miscommunication, feeling of rejection and misplaced feel of mistrust. Yes, I have backed up, stepped back. I have done all I can and more than I have with anyone else before.

@lemonlime
. My guy did actually treat me well while we were together but during the break up this is when he mistreated me or didn't know how to communicate with me. But from my side I've gained some clarity on what I did wrong... And I'm sure as more time passes I will understand more what could have done better. I wish you the best too.