What's going on and how do we progress?

So few know about my story. It's ugly. I catfished him online last year(never thought we would get in a relationship at that point).Faked my name and face .Then we got wayy too emotionally attached so fear of breakup held me back from telling the truth so kept it going for a year. I couldnt take it anymore,so mustered some courage and finally confessed the truth despite knowing the possible consequences. We were together for a year and i confessed the truth 2 months ago.He said he is willing to give us another chance but repeatedly asked me to not be too hopeful as he may not feel the same for me again.So the 1st 2-3 weeks were very rough. He never disappeared on me,was emotionally attached but was just not interested in seeing the real me. 3 weeks later,as it got too much,i messaged him that i cant talk to him like this until he accepts me for who i am.Wished him all the best and goodbye. He messaged me his usual goodmorning the next day.I didnt reply so he downloaded my photo and saved it on his phone because he thought we would never talk again.Minutes later he messaged saying "i dont think its too tough to remain like good friends until things settle down".So our talks resumed.He had his exam round the corner so he totally withdrew from everyone in general.He would then immediately message me at the end of each exam but i realized we got into heated arguments whenever we talked more.I went through an accident during his exam period and he called my best friend and my mom(never called them before) to ask if i was okay. So he still cares a lot about me.

So we had rough cold fights these 2 months after the confession. 2.5 weeks ago he ended up saying "Given my current state of mind,I dont see "we" being a possibility.I lack the trust and faith.We dont have that emotional connect anymore.So stop building false hopes in your head and move on." I was blank. I just said okay .Next morning he apologized for being rough and asked if we are still "friends". He said "i just want things to happen naturally,thats all..I am not running away nor am i persuading myself." I agreed on being just friends. HOWEVER,3-4 days later,his behavior suddenly changed. He started calling me baby/darling and sent me kisses. Asked me to skype(it was othe 2nd time we skyped after the incident) and said i looked prettier and sweeter and flirted.He had the same behavior the next 3 days.He even got aroused and aroused me while talking on phone.

Awww.....it cut off. You have to finish the story OP. What happened next?

sorry somethign went wrong while posting haha.
So i felt it was wrong as we were not in a relationship anymore so i asked him to stop.
Then he said he has my face fully registered in his head now.
He said "Don't get me wrong here but this thought did come in my mind few times since last week.It really surprises me sometimes.The thought being,despite not being in a relationship anymore, why/how are we still so well connected?I realized its because of the the bond we shared.It was just so strong.And also one of the reasons is the fact that I still think of you as a nice girl keeping that one thing aside.
And you are indeed the nicest girl.And following all this, the thought of "Given the way the things are the connect, the warmth, the bond,despite of everything,is there a second possibility?" also struck my mind.I dont know why is this happening but i have been feeling loving and emotions since these past 2-3 days"
I just said "okay" and left the said goodnight. I would have replied but i purposely didnt add to it because the thought of him repeatedly aggressively telling me "you are building false hopes."we",are not possible given my current state of mind.Move on" just held me back from saying anything. Then 2 days later,he stopped being flirty. He stopped the kisses and now he behaves normal but unaffectionate. He was suddenly wayy too into me those few days but now he's not.We still talk but he's not that into me anymore as he was for those few days lately. Only one good thing i see is that we havent fought ever since our last rough argument 2.5 weeks ago. Any inputs on whats going on and what i can do?
PS - Also,no more name bashing please.I have had enough of it here. I acknowledge my mistake,accepted it and regretting it anyway. So do not make it worse.
Thank you!! 🙂

You said it yourself. He doesn't trust you and you are making it very easy for him not to trust you. That big ass lie was one thing. Looks like he loved you then but was just shelling on you to her adjusted to the idea of getting used to you and comfortable all over again. He forced himself to accept the bad part of you and look past that and then looks like while he was in his shell he made the choice to love you after all and thought long and hard about how to approach you and how he can change to make you more comfortable with him and how he can give you a second chance and get feelings for you again. Yhats why he changed from out of the blue. It wasn't out of the blue he always felt that way but decided to finally act on it. Cancers are action people but they can take awhile to make hard decisions. He finally came back full force and expected you to jump in head first and embrace his love and for both of you to move past that. He expected you to say more then ok. Saying ok after he said all that comes off like you really don't give a shit. That was your time to confess your feelings and clear the air and start fresh with him but you didn't. So he doesn't trust you even more now because of your ok. He might think your a lie when you say you care because of you do you would say more. When cancers speak right at you like that DONT IGNORE THEM OR GIVE SIMPLE ANSWERS. They are looking at your every word and are expecting you to be as clear as they are whenever they finally come out with it.

You don't deserve him. You're a liar and a deceiver. The worst kind of unevolved pisces. Cut your losses, apologize to him and become a better human being moving forward.

What you did was disgusting and selfish.

^^^^ PEOPLE!!! what is wrong with y'all? I mean yeah she did something stupid, as if any of you have ever done something stupid before? this is not the worst I've seen around here, I will have no sympathy and no time for those who like to steal people from other relationships... selfish POS's...... this is just for me IMO a bad decision case.

I have never got why people feel like to bully someone and give them shit, when they don't agree on something... just move to another thread and case closed...

just saying, on regards of this topic I have nothing I can help with... sorry

Since you admit you catfished someone, I'm curious why you did it, and was it something you did to a lot of people? I don't understand the desire to do this to someone.

Posted by StarChild63
You said it yourself. He doesn't trust you and you are making it very easy for him not to trust you. That big ass lie was one thing. Looks like he loved you then but was just shelling on you to her adjusted to the idea of getting used to you and comfortable all over again. He forced himself to accept the bad part of you and look past that and then looks like while he was in his shell he made the choice to love you after all and thought long and hard about how to approach you and how he can change to make you more comfortable with him and how he can give you a second chance and get feelings for you again. Yhats why he changed from out of the blue. It wasn't out of the blue he always felt that way but decided to finally act on it. Cancers are action people but they can take awhile to make hard decisions. He finally came back full force and expected you to jump in head first and embrace his love and for both of you to move past that. He expected you to say more then ok. Saying ok after he said all that comes off like you really don't give a shit. That was your time to confess your feelings and clear the air and start fresh with him but you didn't. So he doesn't trust you even more now because of your ok. He might think your a lie when you say you care because of you do you would say more. When cancers speak right at you like that DONT IGNORE THEM OR GIVE SIMPLE ANSWERS. They are looking at your every word and are expecting you to be as clear as they are whenever they finally come out with it.

Thank you for being different than the rest and actually focusing on the issue without throwing an insult. I appreciate it. I agree,an "okay" is not a good thing to say but honestly i didnt trust his words at that point given the fact that just a week prior to this confession,he said "given my current state of mind,i dont see "we" happening again.We dont have that connection anymore." and he was too aggressive about it. And just a week later he gives me kisses and says "i am surprised that we share such a strong bond,warmth and affection despite of what happened. You are the nicest girl i have ever met keeping that one thing aside.I have been thinking if we do have a second chance". It was the contradictory statement over just a week's time that didnt make me take it seriously.Besides,he knows i still love him and want us to reconcile. Even today,just 2hrs

i am appalled at the negativity. Not too surprised because we do have such people all over the world. I am actually not hurt with such responses anymore.Rather i giggled at them. I need absolutely NO sympathy here. Rather,you people have mine. You need it.Need it really bad. Forums are meant to share your story and people try to help you out or give input.I dont want any sugarcoated answers but this is negativity to the ludicrous extent. With what audacity are certain people here calling me a liar and wait,even more ridiculous,telling me "how dare" i post again. May i ask how many lines of code have you written and how much have you paid to get this website licensed? I have as much freedom as you do unless you own this website.And how many of you know me as a person? You are calling me a liar JUST because I have myself written the truth about what I did. And some saying "i would have dumped you right there and then" I am glad my ex doesnt have such a shallow mentality. He could have broken up right then but why didnt he ? It is because he knows me as a person. People like you,who are so filled with negativity and are so judgemental,are either the ones who have been hurt too bad in the past or have never had the chance to be surrounded by positive people/environment. I wasnt here for sympathy at all. I had some progress in my situation with him and so I thought I could use some input from Cancerians. But damn no! You people are such insecure judgemental and vulnerable beasts that you always feel people are bad and are trying to hurt you. So some of you here have my heartiest sympathy. Yes,you do.
Yes,i have made a mistake.A big one.But guess what! I have not murdered anyone.And again,guess what. Irrespective of what i did,i still remain a much better human being than most of you here. Learn to be respectful of people and their situation. If you think you can prove no useful with your input and help,then just LEAVE THEM ALONE! You people are like wild dogs,man. You see a prey,you think that prey is weak and lonely,and so you all pounce on it.
I am proud of who i am. We all make mistakes. Even you do (bloody hypocrites). But what counts,is the fact that i accepted it and apologized for it. I could have still chosen to keep the lie going but I didnt.Even he knows that this has hurt me a lot more than what it has hurt him because he knows I am not expected to do such a thing. Learn to look beyond ones mistakes. I can only wish you some positivity.PEACE~

Don't worry about that people will always judge and throw stones. We know you know what you did was wrong and no sense focusing on the past. Your cancers not. Not really. If you don't fix the present you will give him the only option to think about what happened in the past. I think he told you everything he felt. I think he was being real. You have to think of it this way. Falling for someone for a whole year then finding out it's all a lie is a big big big pill to swallow. You should expect him to be going through trauma and bad ups and downs and confusion. He doesn't know what's real and what's not and if he can trust you. That's why he looks unstable. He's really going through hurt and processing and trying to make sense of things. When he said there will never be a we he probably meant it but hoped you would e able to reassure him that there would be a we and you would fix all your mistakes and improve until the trust and full love was back. Then he probably thought about it and thought I think I could tolerate this mistake but let me see where she's at let me for once tell her how I feel after the betrayal. He expected you to spill your guts and tell him you love him apologize and tell him and show him that you are trustworthy you love him just as much and there really could be a we. I see how cancers catch you off guard with the extreme switching of emotions and feelings and wants but you have to learn how to still be honest through and through without wondering what's going on in his head. If you know in your heart he loves you then just know that and try your best to fix the mess you made. You need to love him and you need to put yourself out there and be ready to the shit end of the stick because you were the one that messed up and you look like the villain. You lost your right to question his motives. At least for now until you prove yourself and fix it. You better do whatever you can do to make him happy and secure until he can forget that that ever happened and trust you like a mate. Getting a cancers trust back is VERRRY difficult but putting your ego down is the first step because their going to put you through hell and hot water because if their switching emotions. Not so much of trying to hurt you. Be ready to go through it like a obstacle course. But you gotta be strong and be ready for anything. You better be as clear with him as you ever did in life. You better tell him everything going on with your personal and prodessional life and

Don't keep any secrets from him.ayyer of fact don't even let him think you have any secrets. You better invite him out to spend time with ALL your family and friends. Everything is going to have to be put on the table. Get him to trust you with his life. Ask him questions about stuff and eventually start to ask about his secrets-his fears, desires, lifetime goals. Tell him the same with you. Don't make him wonder why you did that or where your head was at tell him every detail so he can understand. You better confess your love and show him in every possible way you can show him. Don't worry about looking desperate or crazy because you already did that the damage is done. Now you have to fix it even if you think you look foolish. You need to be a fool for him. He might even laugh and feel reassured then tell you to stop being foolish and just kiss him. Making a total fool out of yourself for love is a cancers weakness. ONLY IF THEY ACTUALLY LIKE YOUNROMANTICALLY. If they don't they will make sure you loon even more foolish for stepping out there with them when they don't want you and might end up kicking you while your down just to make sure you get the point. But just saying okay makes it look like you finally got what you wanted out of him and then lost interest. THATS A CAMCERS PEEVE. They hate to feel used or temporary oranipulated into being openly loving just to sooth someone's ego. Like he finally had the balls to say that shit just to get nothing in return. He's probably going to pull away from you and assume he's fucking others. He probably can't believe the audacity. So you need to clear it up mediatelt. You are on a very very very thin string and you have no more room to keep fucking up. I will say that he loves you deeply to go through that then actually put his feelings on the table like that. You need to call him up now before it's too late. Tell him why it caught you off guard and why you said okay.

Don't keep any secrets from him.ayyer of fact don't even let him think you have any secrets. You better invite him out to spend time with ALL your family and friends. Everything is going to have to be put on the table. Get him to trust you with his life. Ask him questions about stuff and eventually start to ask about his secrets-his fears, desires, lifetime goals. Tell him the same with you. Don't make him wonder why you did that or where your head was at tell him every detail so he can understand. You better confess your love and show him in every possible way you can show him. Don't worry about looking desperate or crazy because you already did that the damage is done. Now you have to fix it even if you think you look foolish. You need to be a fool for him. He might even laugh and feel reassured then tell you to stop being foolish and just kiss him. Making a total fool out of yourself for love is a cancers weakness. ONLY IF THEY ACTUALLY LIKE YOUNROMANTICALLY. If they don't they will make sure you loon even more foolish for stepping out there with them when they don't want you and might end up kicking you while your down just to make sure you get the point. But just saying okay makes it look like you finally got what you wanted out of him and then lost interest. THATS A CAMCERS PEEVE. They hate to feel used or temporary oranipulated into being openly loving just to sooth someone's ego. Like he finally had the balls to say that shit just to get nothing in return. He's probably going to pull away from you and assume he's fucking others. He probably can't believe the audacity. So you need to clear it up mediatelt. You are on a very very very thin string and you have no more room to keep fucking up. I will say that he loves you deeply to go through that then actually put his feelings on the table like that. You need to call him up now before it's too late. Tell him why it caught you off guard and why you said okay.

Posted by pisces123
So few know about my story. It's ugly. I catfished him online last year(never thought we would get in a relationship at that point).

Instant train wreck, dead ahead. Already established yourself as a liar.
The rest of your post is dreck.
Assuming this post is for real, you have issues and need help.
Assuming it's another troll of the Crab board, in the entertainment department its a fail.

Just thought I should update this. We finally met today after a year. He decided to actually come all the way to my city(which is a state afar from his) just to see me. We spent the day together and it was more beautiful than what we both could have imagined. He took me on a date to a fantastic restaurant with an intimate setting.We took a stroll along the beach and spent some quality time there and had a great time sight seeing other scenic places. We shared a great emotional intimacy and physical chemistry. He wanted to get physically intimate but i didnt allow him (i am not comfortable with it until we are in a committed relationship) and he was absolutely respectful about my choice. We both are happy about the time we spent and he said "i admit,i would be lying if i say i dont have feelings for you anymore. I just have trust issues remaining still and it's probably because i am unable to trust my own self. It's probably my own fear of getting hurt again." I dont know what will happen tomorrow but I am happy because this person has atleast accepted me for who i am.

I wasnt quite planning on updating this but thought the negative people here should understand (no,i still dont expect) that it's not correct to judge people based on just something you read about them (especially judging them,insulting them and trying to break them down based on something they have written for themselves). Concluding about one's story like this is very wrong. Nobody comes here to receive sugarcoated feedback (at least i wasnt) but there's a way to talk to people,especially on help forums. So try being a little positive,non judgmental and open minded with people from next time. PEACE!
And for the ones who have actually expressed an intent to focus on the issue without being so narrow minded (StarChild and FullWaterPisces) ,I thank you both enough.

Good for you! It is nice to hear a happy ending for once! Good luck in the future.

Pisces123 good for you!! I'm proud of you. Now keep the intimacy burning and keep the trust solid and don't ever lie/deceive again. Peopleake big mistakes in life but the answer is to learn from them and move forward.