Any best ways to fix/amend a friendship w a cappy?

Hi, I thought I would check this with you guys and girls just to gather some thoughts.

I think I might have hurted a cappy friend who I was beginning to care for and I don't want for things to be bad between us. I was just wondering what would the best ways to let her heal and/or help her get over things.

We, Virgos, tend to use time and space to let our emotions calm down internally, but I don't know how cappies deal with pain.

I'm trying to stay away of her way to avoid her any feelings of uncomfort, so if I see her somewhere, with common friends we have, I turn around, so she wouldn't have to deal with her emotions in front of everyone there, but I want to make sure she knows that I do care. I have sent her an apology by email and a text, but so far I have heard nothing back.

We have lots of common friends and we did get along well, although we don't know each other for a long time, we were beginning to connect some more and I heard she did really value having me in her life. I just don't like it when people hurt, especially if I had something to do with it, even if its not purposely, but at the same time I understand that we each react and act differently...I just want to make sure things are okay eventually.

Any thoughts?

ABee

really? oh..i thought she would know that i am giving her the space she needs. i just imagined her being uncomfortable in my presence so ive been skipping all the places where i know she will be and if we are close to bump into each other when she is with a group of common friends, i go the other way...thinking she needs what i will need, which is space...

hmmm......maybe next time, i'll just pass by her and at least make eye contact. cappricorns are sweet but i don't know if they like talking to sort things out, seems like they don't.

are you that never forgives and remembers every wrong forever like sagis do?

This might just be me, but from my experiences the last thing I'd want someone to do is avoid or ignore me. I need people to show me that they care enough to come to me and talk things out. So, if you see her, go up to her and ask her if you can have a chat. Try to sort things out. Again, that could just be me...best of luck! 🙂

cappy females may be different. i had a roller coaster of a ride with a male cap friend of mine. it was definitely best to give him his space and time. he forgave every time and would act like nothing ever happened. i remember i brought it up once in conversation and he seriously acted like he didn't know what the hell i was talking about! he was more about "forgetting" and moving on. we would have to not really talk to or see each other for a month or so but he'd always come back around. i think she'll eventually come back around if u mean anything to her.

cappygolightly, capricious cappy, ninjamu, and sbcap,

thank you so much for your inputs.

i will try to see if we can talk next time i bump into her, instead of giving her space, since it will be weeks by then...hopefully she will get over this. it is good to know cappies can be forgiving. i hope this is the case. it wasn't something that i would consider worth our friendship, but who knows whats going on in her head. hopefully it will all work out.

thank you ladies!

a

Posted by Ike 2.0
Frankly i would make a 500 USD check and throw it at her .

haha 🙂 she still owes me some money (nothing huge), so i think i rather wait and use that as a last source 😉

the issue was that one of her exes kissed me and i had no idea this was the ex she always talked about, so there, that was the problem. the one night i decide to be daring i ended up locking lips with someone who my friend still apparently loved. i have since then cut communication with such person, but my friend is mad at both of us, because the ex was the first to tell her (i was told to not ever ever tell her for some reason and was silly enough to just do that, not knowing what to do, since this was the first time that something like this happens to me) and i got in the middle of it all but got out right away. apparently they were still having certain closeness (if you know what i mean), more than what i ever knew, so then i felt sad for her because i know she must have felt hurt and still might feel that way.

that's the brief story and why i'm unsure as to how operate next other than by giving her time.

abee

Abee,

Big freaking deal! Just tell her you didn't know he was her ex before you kissed him and once you found out you didn't know what to do...to tell or not to tell because it could go both ways. If she's going to stay mad at you, you don't need a baby like her around. Now, if she kept waving his picture in front of your face and telling you that he means OH so much to her and then you knowing that he's her "mr. perfect", walked up to him and kissed him, that would make you a not so good person worthy of your best friend's hate. But why should you be hiding and running away? It wasn't your fault and you must not blame yourself. Act normal when you see her. Walk right up to her and say "Hi!" And you can find her alone somewhere, just come talk to her. Show her that you're conserned that this misunderstanding is costing you such a good friend. Let her know that this sort of thing will never happen again. If she won't listen to you, leave her alone. She might come around later once she breaks it off with this guy completely. If not, too bad.

Posted by ihavetworocks
Abee,

Big freaking deal! Just tell her you didn't know he was her ex before you kissed him and once you found out you didn't know what to do...to tell or not to tell because it could go both ways. If she's going to stay mad at you, you don't need a baby like her around. Now, if she kept waving his picture in front of your face and telling you that he means OH so much to her and then you knowing that he's her "mr. perfect", walked up to him and kissed him, that would make you a not so good person worthy of your best friend's hate. But why should you be hiding and running away? It wasn't your fault and you must not blame yourself. Act normal when you see her. Walk right up to her and say "Hi!" And you can find her alone somewhere, just come talk to her. Show her that you're conserned that this misunderstanding is costing you such a good friend. Let her know that this sort of thing will never happen again. If she won't listen to you, leave her alone. She might come around later once she breaks it off with this guy completely. If not, too bad.

ihavetworocks,

thank you. i hear ya. i just never went through anything ackward like this so i didn't know what to do next, but you are right, i didn't know the stuff that was happening between them and that this ex was the ex she was always talking about (not in a good way actually) so it was all very confusing.

i can understand her sadness, but i really didn't know...

we have many friends in common, so chances that we will bump into each other again soon are high. i wont turn around my way next time, i think she knows i've been trying to give her some space, and i will say hi, just like you said.

i hope one day she gives me a chance to explain (since she hasn't yet) and then go from there.

i heard she isn't as mad at me as she is with her ex. i just hope she isn't hurting anymore.
i will try to let her know exactly what you pointed out, that i do care and that i hope we can move on from this. they (she and her ex) need to work on some stuff still anyways, so i defenitely need to stay away from all that. i just want to make sure she doesn't think things that aren't true or worry about things she shouldn't. once i see something i get it and i keep on moving inspite of however i might feel.

they need to work their stuff out, that is what makes sense and we all just need to move on from this s

hey!

i just wanted to let anyone who gave me some few cents in post that i have reconciled with my cappy friend 🙂

i did give her time, but afterall, instead of just waiting and giving her more space (as i tend to to) i took a chance an approached her last time i saw her at some pub...and apologized to her in person and in front of all her friends (well they were right behind her) she gave me a hug and told me that it was okay and that she wasnt mad at me anymore 🙂

i think it will take her time to be 100% ok with me, i just know, but it was so good to know we are at least okay now because i didnt want her to hurt anymore or to think i did that on purpose or without care.

thank you for all your inputs, they helped!!

abee

thanks cappygolightly. i like friendships with cappies, not only do they seem to be sweet and down-to-earth, but have also showing me a forgiving side.

i hope she and i get the chance to get some coffee soon and keep on continuing with our friendship over time.

i really did learn a lesson throughout this experience.

thanks again!

abee