Calming down a stubborn cap man?

So my capricorn man's need for control goes through phases, up and down. Usually he listens to my opinions, but sometimes it is a little overwhelming to the point where he becomes so stubborn and I have no say in anything at all.

Is there any way you think I might be able to get through to him or calm him down during those times?

Like moments when he is making decisions out of fear instead of thinking logically.

Posted by LiveAndLove
I would say that you can't really control his desicion making and that everyone needs to make there own mistakes to learn from them. If you're just being told what's wrong, you don't really believe it unless you've felt the consequences of what went wrong with the desicion you made.

Although there was one time I literally had to pull my Cap bf away from a fight. That was insane, he was ready to kick this guys ass in a bar for forcing himself on me (before my bf and I were together). It must've been quite a scene seeing a 5'3" woman trying to pull back a 6 ft guy whose got like 80+ lbs on me. I was crouched down at one point I was pulling so hard. Almost fell over. So there's always that way...just pull him lol.

haha that's hilarious! Sucks that a guy forced himself on you though, not fun.

Posted by scorpio24356
So my capricorn man's need for control goes through phases, up and down. Usually he listens to my opinions, but sometimes it is a little overwhelming to the point where he becomes so stubborn and I have no say in anything at all.

Is there any way you think I might be able to get through to him or calm him down during those times?

Like moments when he is making decisions out of fear instead of thinking logically.

Call him out on his shit by presenting a logical well thought out argument.

Do it calmly and rationally

Posted by LiveAndLove
I would say that you can't really control his desicion making and that everyone needs to make there own mistakes to learn from them. If you're just being told what's wrong, you don't really believe it unless you've felt the consequences of what went wrong with the desicion you made.

Although there was one time I literally had to pull my Cap bf away from a fight. That was insane, he was ready to kick this guys ass in a bar for forcing himself on me (before my bf and I were together). It must've been quite a scene seeing a 5'3" woman trying to pull back a 6 ft guy whose got like 80+ lbs on me. I was crouched down at one point I was pulling so hard. Almost fell over. So there's always that way...just pull him lol.

I absolutely love a man who's willing to fight for me. Embarrassing, yes. But secretly I adore it. It makes me feel safe and loved.

I would never put him in that situation though.

Can you give examples?

I have noticed their need for control on certain things. It can be difficult to compromise if they feel strongly about their position. I haven't had any major issues with this, but I have told my cap how I feel and then gave him space. This seemed to help the situation.

Posted by pinkbird03
Can you give examples?

I have noticed their need for control on certain things. It can be difficult to compromise if they feel strongly about their position. I haven't had any major issues with this, but I have told my cap how I feel and then gave him space. This seemed to help the situation.

How do you give him space? Because I really want to do that.. When he is upset, he can ignore me for half the day, even if it bothers me. But I'm never allowed to do it or else he will flip out on me for ignoring him and think I'm trying to leave him or something. Haha

Well, for example... we have been in a relationship for almost 6 months (knew each other before). I wanna tell people about our relationship, but he doesn't want our mutual friends to know because before we started dating he planned to leave for a service mission thing, and he is afraid that everyone will blame me for potentially stopping his mission, which we both know I'm not gonna do. Honestly, if everyone knew we've been dating for 6 months already and are in a serious relationship, they would just support us. But he felt like a liar after all this time not telling anyone (which was his decision), so he started telling a couple people that we just started talking and we are planning to see where it goes. So naturally those people are freaking out and trying to stop it before it starts because they think I'll either stop his mission, or that I won't wait for him...when the truth is, we have been dating for a while and our families already know that we plan to get married eventually. But he is afraid now from their reactions and won't let me tell anyone the truth, so people keep trying to convince him to end our relationship and it's making me crazy.And of course I can't just tell people without losing his trust. It's not easy to get close to a cap in the first place, and now we are so close.

Posted by truecap

Posted by scorpio24356
So my capricorn man's need for control goes through phases, up and down. Usually he listens to my opinions, but sometimes it is a little overwhelming to the point where he becomes so stubborn and I have no say in anything at all.

Is there any way you think I might be able to get through to him or calm him down during those times?

Like moments when he is making decisions out of fear instead of thinking logically.

Call him out on his shit by presenting a logical well thought out argument.

click to expand

Do you think it would help to give him space afterward? I don't want him to feel ignored or else he will flip out, but I want him to know that I'm serious. And usually we discuss logically and calmly but he is too stubborn, so I just go his way...but this time he is making a mistake. And I can't just let it go. You know? (Read previous comment for details)

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by pinkbird03
Can you give examples?

I have noticed their need for control on certain things. It can be difficult to compromise if they feel strongly about their position. I haven't had any major issues with this, but I have told my cap how I feel and then gave him space. This seemed to help the situation.

How do you give him space? Because I really want to do that.. When he is upset, he can ignore me for half the day, even if it bothers me. But I'm never allowed to do it or else he will flip out on me for ignoring him and think I'm trying to leave him or something. Haha

Well, for example... we have been in a relationship for almost 6 months (knew each other before). I wanna tell people about our relationship, but he doesn't want our mutual friends to know because before we started dating he planned to leave for a service mission thing, and he is afraid that everyone will blame me for potentially stopping his mission, which we both know I'm not gonna do. Honestly, if everyone knew we've been dating for 6 months already and are in a serious relationship, they would just support us. But he felt like a liar after all this time not telling anyone (which was his decision), so he started telling a couple people that we just started talking and we are planning to see where it goes. So naturally those people are freaking out and trying to stop it before it starts because they think I'll either stop his mission, or that I won't wait for him...when the truth is, we have been dating for a while and our families already know that we plan to get married eventually. But he is afraid now from their reactions and won't let me tell anyone the truth, so people keep trying to convince him to end our relationship and it's making me crazy.And of course I can't just tell people without losing his trust. It's not easy to get close to a cap in the first place, and now we are so close.

click to expand

How long is this mission? I think you should convince him to go. Its obviously important to a lot of people including him. But other people are seeing it as an ultimatum. That way, he can have the best of both worlds. Everyone is happy. And you'd be able to tell everyone about your relationship. If he doesn't go, I worry that everyone will hate you and Capricorns really care about what others think about them so there's a chance your relationship might not make it.