Capricorn and long distance relationships

Hi,
I am all new here and I could really do with some advice from someone.
I have met this cap over work, who works for my company in another city (5 hours drive). We have talked and skyped for about 3 weeks when he decided to come and meet me. We spend 3 days together and have got really close. To keep the story short, the skype talkers have stopped since he returned, but he does make sure he sends me a text each day (well....hearts, kisses, texts he misses me, he cares about me, his pictures....etc) but those texts are very short....so no much talk from his side, and yes he does call me every now and than.
This is all going on for 5 months now. I know he is a workaholic and has some personal problems, but it is hard for me to believe that someone who decided over night to sit in a car and come to meet me has now for the last 5 months a problem to do the same again— (I am a single mum, so he knows I can not come to see him)
I have not put any pressure at him at all,but I did text him recently where I told him that I really care for him and that I miss the times we used to talk more.
But we are not kids, and 5 months of text with kisses and hearts is not really normal for my age?
I just don't get him—?

I just don't see the feasibility of long distance relationships, unless there is a plan to move closer together or unless you had a relationship, then the move happened. They're just not realistic and caps are realists by nature.

I, personally, wouldn't take an LDR seriously. Sure, I'd talk and meet up, have fun, maybe even feel something for them, but if I couldn't be with them, I wouldn't take it seriously. I'd continue to date other people as well (unless a plan is formed).

See, realistically, unless you move closer together, what's the point? I want relationships with a real live person in my proximity that I can hang out, see each other during the week, have impromtu dinners and plans, etc. I don't want to hug a phone or a computer. I want to touch, feel, smell a real live person.

Now, if you arranged to spend every single weekend together, that would work, however, how realistic is that? Such as how long would that last before something at work came up, or you had projects to do, etc.

Not saying all caps feel the way I do, but I think a lot are on a similar page. And it really depends on how you feel about each other (but to get the feels, I need proximity).

Further more....

Skype talks have stopped...
the short texts...
the calls "every now and again"

Doesn't read as taking it seriously to me.

Not negating your relationship, not saying it's not feasible or he's not serious.....I just wouldn't put a lot of stock into it.

Thank you for your comments.
He did tell me at beginning that he can see himself moving to me, and that I am important to him...it all sounds like a plan ( well it did than!)
But you are right it doesn't feel like this at all....this is why I have this big question mark above my head if I should continue this or not.
We have both been married and have kids, and I know we both want the same thing, but as you said it is not that realistic. What I don't get is why is he still hanging on to this—?
Why is he still telling me that he misses and is falling for me—
I thought Caps are straight forward?
And he is a real Cap!!

Keep seeing him and have fun. I mean, really, you never know what will happen.

Just don't fall for him or get too caught in the relationship. Don't take it too seriously, but ride it out for a while and see what happens.

*shrugs*

so many jaded posts here

Posted by Metaphysical
so many jaded posts here

Not jaded. Just realistic

it takes 2 certain types of people to be in a LDR. its not easy, its very difficult in fact, you really have to have a certain mindset and willing to work to make the distance easier. problem is, in today's world most people do not want to put in the work, they look for an easy way out. if you're in a LDR it's a lot easier to take the easy way out.

i don't think most people do LDRs without the intent to erase the distance at some point.

my advice to brown is if you don't see this man putting the same kind of effort and feel he's just keeping you on the line, give him an ulltimatum, if he doesn't respond to that, you need to part ways before you get hurt.

I think you are all right!
I have taken all this really serious (I have been in a LDL before and that lasted 6 y.) at the beginning and was really disappointed when he said he will come and he didn't. But the reason for that was that he made sure to tell me how much he cares for me and that he is the lucky one to have met a person like me.....so who wouldn't think he means it—
So all the right words!

I have detached myself since a bit and keep texting him the same way he does and only to answer his ones.....so not to much but still each day.
As for myself, I know I could have a LDR but if both sides make the some effort, as for him....I think he still needs to figure it out
I really want to hang on and see where this is going because I think he is worth it.

Thank you so much for all your posts!!!! 🙂

He could mean what he says.

My head is telling me to let it go because I will end upsetting hurt...... my heart wants to hold on to him. It's that feeling or hope inside me that he does mean it all

I feel like if you had the need to post this thread, then your gut is telling you something.

Truecap you are probably right, but I don't know what to do....follow....my heart or my head....
I read so much about caps....how slow they are to show there emotions and that they need time to open up, no pressure and that when they say something they really mean it.....I kept for 5 months all that in my head, made sure I put no pressure on him (as I said he has some personal problems I know about).

He also told me once that I will probably change my mind about him and go for someone else ( btw. His wife left him several months after they got married because of an ex, and I think his last relationship didn't go well either) so I had the feeling as if he is testing me all the time to see if I will give up as quick (before he invests to many feelings)....
I kept telling him once in a while (not to go over the top) that I care about him deeply and that he is really important to me....but there is not much coming in return (hearts and kisses mainly (daily) and of course that he cares about me (once a week))

I am just trying to understand all those mixed messages coming from him.....
I really do care about him (and he did say he could see himself moving to me.....but that was at the beginning of it all), and 5 hours is really not so far to come for a weekend at least,or?

This is why I asked how they are with LDR, I just don't get it?

How often do you see him in person?

I haven't seen him since Mai 😢

Yeah, I wouldn't put much more investment in it.

If I were you, I'd keep the option around, though. 😉

Thanks for your advise truecap 😉

I don't know, some people like living on the edge and having their emotions manipulated, but if you don't and believe he's "straight up", why not just get it straight what type of LDR you both want with each other and avoid the drama? Casual or committed. Then you two can decide how much time/heart you want to invest based on the relationship being an earnest or fragile one.