Capricorn gone cold

Okay. So, I decided to post something about a Capricorn given their reputation of being elusive; which confuses the hell out of me.

Apologies if it's long, but this is the whole story. Questions are at the bottom. 🙂

------- CONTEXT

A. Stage 1:

We started off as a gay FWB partnership, where we slept together intimately, a couple of times. We're both discreet, and only our close friends know. Afterwards, out of the blue, he would always chat with me and we would talk for hours. He would always want me to go out with our friends, but sometimes it's just too much and I needed space, so I declined once. During this stage, our friendship has been quite rocky, since I would get jealous whenever he chose to hang out with our friends rather than spend time with me (clingy, I knoow). I became more careful with my comments and what I say to him, since I felt like there are now too many petty fights.

I confessed to him that I liked him, and well, he didn't respond... We would still chat and hang out normally after I confessed. One day, however, after being too pushy, he just told me straight out that he's not really looking for anything serious, and that he has been "distancing" himself since it was "for the better".

Indeed, he was been quite cold, although after a week, he would return to normal.

I stopped pushing things, even if it was painful. I truly contained my emotions, and tried my best to move on.

B. Stage 2:

A fight happened in our social circle that involved me and him; when that happened, he went straight to my apartment and waited outside eager to comfort and explain what happened. We eventually resolved things, and decided to leave the toxic environment - together. We slept together again, intimately, that day.

Although, after that incident, he just went plain cold on me. He stopped talking to me, and only spoke to me to schedule our classes together for the week. But whenever we're together in person, it's quite obvious that something is up, as I observe how uncomfortable he is being around me; he even ignored me one time and couldn't even look at me straight in the eye! (maybe it's a mood thing...)

During a birthday at a friend's apartment, I accidentally made a rude remark, and he got really pissed at me for prying on an issue I am not even involved in. That night, he would hug our other gay friend, in front of me! A rumor went around that that gay friend liked him, but that it was only a joke. I discovered that he hangs out more now with him, a friend whom made a move on me too(kiss and cuddle), during a previous trip. On which he knew, even during the whole initiating period when he used to like me.

That gay friend however, is very kind and too mature for the both of us (8 years older than us).

C. Now:

But yeah, now, he's still very cold to me. He never initiates chats or hang outs with me anymore.

--> We live in the SAME BUILDING, and we rarely hang out... He never even ask me to go together whenever we have a friends gathering. I would always go there by myself, despite us having the same classes and living in the same building... (no conclusion here...)

--> Whenever I chat with him, he would always reply with plain cold conversation ender replies.

--> Whenever I ask him what his plans were for the night, he wouldn't give me a direct answer. (maybe: he wants to hang out with our other "toxic" friends, and he knew I didn't want to spend time with them?)

--> Whenever I ask him to hang out, just the both of us, he would almost always decline. (maybe: he finds it awkward?)

Although, whenever we chat, we converse normally; and by normal, I mean no fights and seem decent and courteous, but there is still an obvious detachment in comparison to how we conversed before. I try not to bring up issues again too.

He hangs out now more, and even keeps sleeping over at our other gay friend's place. But for some strange reason, whenever the three of us are together, the other gay friend would always want me and him to sit together - as if he knew there is something wrong between us.



--------------- THOUGHTS

I wonder if they have something... and maybe that's the reason why he's gone dead cold on me, because he knows that if I learned that that it would hurt me, which IS NOT the case. I've fully moved on and carry on with my life and career, but I am still open for him if he comes back.

On the other hand, I also do wonder that maybe he's trying to contain his emotions for me too, that's why he hangs out more with our other gay friend to talk about his feelings.

How do I draw this Cap back to me? Even as a close friend?

Do Caps have tendencies to seek revenge?

What does this all mean—? How do you Caps let the other person know that you TRULY DO NOT want them in your life anymore?

Should I just burn the bridge already?

Capricorns aren't elusive. You just became too much of a nuisance and it seems that he doesn't need that kind of aggravation in his life. If you're gonna start a fwb deal and want to keep it going, the last thing you should do is become bothersome.

You became too focused on your own wants/needs and he had enough of ya. Sorry, luv. Good luck proving you're a different person. Earth signs are stubborn buggers so if you like one, you need to get it right the first time. I had to work very hard, but in the end it paid off. My straight Virgo best friend became a fwb, and that became something more.

He's not worth your energy.. burn those bridges..

For you to have the same classes, live in the same building and he still doesn't hang with you, ignores you and is cold means he isn't interested.. I honestly don't think it has anything to do with him being interested in anyone else either..

He already told you he didn't want anything serious at the moment... & caps don't like clingy, drama and arguing.. Not blaming you, but you gotta chill.. They need space.. Maybe he does like you... but that sort of intensity scares them.. They aren't emotional beings..

IMO, he isn't worth your time.. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to move on.. Most times when you aren't giving the same energy, caps wonder about you and will reach out..

I hate "tit-for-tat" shit but mirror his actions.. ignore him, don't reach out.. etc. when he speaks to you, be cordial.. You have to come off like you really don't gaf...

I hope this helps, and good luck..

Thanks guys for the honest and for the hard cold truth. Although, I haven't been clingy anymore. In fact, I haven't talked to him for quite some time now, and sometimes, it's always him who keeps asking for my schedule for the week. So, if he really wanted to burn that bridge, then why would he continuously talk and ask about my sched to spend time with me?

What I really want to know, is how to win this Capricorn back? How can I attract him once again?

I've moved on and have learned my lesson about being too clingy and emotional, but I still do like him.

How can we, at the barest minimum, stay as friends?

Man, I'm in the same situation with a Capricorn male how confusing. They seem a bit manipulative, selfish and aloof (I thought Libra and Pisces men were bad but damn!!!) I think in general if someone treats you a certain way regardless of their sign, you shouldn't accept it. After reading so many threads and trying to "figure" out what I did wrong (when I didn't do anything wrong really) I slowly got over it. it's purely a waste of energy. If someone wants to see you or contact you, they know how. You shouldn't have to chase someone trust me, it would be a lot better having a relationship or being with someone who treats you as you treat them :-/ I am freaking over it now. What someone won't do someone else will just saying. This is the worst sign by far I have well "experimented" with, it didn't go anywhere.

Posted by LibraLaw2017
Thanks guys for the honest and for the hard cold truth. Although, I haven't been clingy anymore. In fact, I haven't talked to him for quite some time now, and sometimes, it's always him who keeps asking for my schedule for the week. So, if he really wanted to burn that bridge, then why would he continuously talk and ask about my sched to spend time with me?

What I really want to know, is how to win this Capricorn back? How can I attract him once again?

I've moved on and have learned my lesson about being too clingy and emotional, but I still do like him.

How can we, at the barest minimum, stay as friends?

Well, they don't really like to burn bridges.. IMO.. If they could remain cordial and friends with everyone they cross paths with, they would.. They aren't harsh ppl in my opinion..

To get him back as a friend, just be cordial.. If he reaches out, respond. Maybe send a text every so often to "check on him" .. don't ask for anything more at the moment.. Let him get comfortable with you all over again.. If he wants you around, he will make it happen.. Just be cool..

🙂

Posted by LibraLaw2017
Okay. So, I decided to post something about a Capricorn given their reputation of being elusive; which confuses the hell out of me.

Apologies if it's long, but this is the whole story. Questions are at the bottom. 🙂

How do I draw this Cap back to me? Even as a close friend?

Do Caps have tendencies to seek revenge?

What does this all mean—? How do you Caps let the other person know that you TRULY DO NOT want them in your life anymore?

Should I just burn the bridge already?

1. Give it time, a casual message here and there. You can probably fast track it if you can help him with something. Remember, their motto is "I use".

2. I don't know about other Caps, but mine has Aqua Moon, and Cap Mercury. He can have a big mouth.

3. They don't normally burn bridges, just goes cold and not initiate anything.

4. Get closure if you need to, but definitely MOVE ON. Mirror him, he doesn't feel the need to explain to you, he just did it.

Posted by Violet77
Man, I'm in the same situation with a Capricorn male how confusing. They seem a bit manipulative, selfish and aloof (I thought Libra and Pisces men were bad but damn!!!) I think in general if someone treats you a certain way regardless of their sign, you shouldn't accept it. After reading so many threads and trying to "figure" out what I did wrong (when I didn't do anything wrong really) I slowly got over it. it's purely a waste of energy. If someone wants to see you or contact you, they know how. You shouldn't have to chase someone trust me, it would be a lot better having a relationship or being with someone who treats you as you treat them :-/ I am freaking over it now. What someone won't do someone else will just saying. This is the worst sign by far I have well "experimented" with, it didn't go anywhere.

True. I couldn't agree with you more. Although, sometimes, psychologically speaking, even if someone treats you badly, sometimes you can't help but still like them; no matter how hard you try to detach and move on. A whole myriad of love songs revolves around this theme. It's easier said than done. But that's true, we do need to move on and trust that we'll find someone who would treat us better.

On the contrary, there may be reasons why they act that way. I always try to put myself in the other person's shoes. If he is ignoring me, then maybe he's just busy with work; as Caps are notorious for putting their work in front above all else. If he seems quite distance, maybe he just needs his space and is recharging his batteries so he can express his affection once again.

I don't know. But even if I am moving on, I still want to keep an open space for this person.

I just really want to know how. So, now, I'm just patiently waiting.

Posted by poison_ivy

Posted by LibraLaw2017
Thanks guys for the honest and for the hard cold truth. Although, I haven't been clingy anymore. In fact, I haven't talked to him for quite some time now, and sometimes, it's always him who keeps asking for my schedule for the week. So, if he really wanted to burn that bridge, then why would he continuously talk and ask about my sched to spend time with me?

What I really want to know, is how to win this Capricorn back? How can I attract him once again?

I've moved on and have learned my lesson about being too clingy and emotional, but I still do like him.

How can we, at the barest minimum, stay as friends?

Well, they don't really like to burn bridges.. IMO.. If they could remain cordial and friends with everyone they cross paths with, they would.. They aren't harsh ppl in my opinion..

To get him back as a friend, just be cordial.. If he reaches out, respond. Maybe send a text every so often to "check on him" .. don't ask for anything more at the moment.. Let him get comfortable with you all over again.. If he wants you around, he will make it happen.. Just be cool..

🙂

click to expand

I'll definitely do that. It just seems weird that he doesn't converse with me as cordially as before; that makes me overthink a lot. That maybe he's mad at me. Maybe he doesn't like me, even as a friend. Maybe he's distancing himself from me. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me.

Although, these are all just in my head. I never show these insecurities, and just remain civil and cordial.

I hope he does get comfortable with me again.

In your opinion, what qualities and characteristics does a Cap like in a friend or a partner?

Just so I can practice prudence in the process of making him comfortable with me once again.

I understand the confusion in it all.. Trust me.

I am actually with a Capricorn man.. & even tho my father is a Capricorn and my 2 sisters are Capricorns, I just couldn't figure him out.. Which is the reason I am even on DXP.. But of course, dealing with someone romantically or in matters of a friendship, it's going to be totally different compared to family relationships... I didn't get his ways at first..

In the beginning, my cap was on a mission.. He chased me down.. NEVER EVER made it about sex only.. He always made me feel like we had time to be intimate.. But he made sure I knew that he wanted me to be his and he wasn't going to give also.. I liked that, BUT I was very standoffish from the jump because it's hard for me to trust people's intentions of me..

Well long story short, on our first date, he asked me to be his "lady" (committed) and although I felt it was a bit fast, I knew I liked him as well so I agreed to be his only.. Our vibe was off the charts, we were falling deeply for one another... He was so sweet.. loving, chivalrous.. MANLY (I love an Alpha male), hard-working .. Everything and more that I wanted in a man.. But he would go distant often.. (FREAKED ME OUT!) Somewhere along the lines tho, our Long distance started getting the best of me, so I broke up with him once, maybe 3 months into our relationship.. We got back together a day later.. lol.. That hurt him.. and I could tell.. but we decided no matter how far apart we were, we wanted nothing more than to be with each other.. so we made it work the best we could.. we've had a lot of disagreements (which comes with any relationship) and usually he says how he feels, which is short, sweet and to the point and then he shuts down.. They need that quiet time to process everything, make a mental note to fix their wrongs and get over their issues.. Depending on how deep our argument is, depends on how long he goes "quiet".. If he is especially busy, stressed and frustrated with work or going through things with family, he stays quiet longer... it's in their nature. They need you to keep yourself busy while they distance themselves.. & it's NOT always about you.. Just how they deal with the "weight" that's placed on their shoulders.. They need to get through it on their own tho.. They don't ask for help usually and they feel like they don't need it.. I call it the "Great Depression." They come off that way and they have tendencies to cut themselves off from the world.. During those times, I give my man his space, and sometimes I send him memes to make him laugh, or songs, or pictures of myself, or of us together or simply just check up on him.. Just to let him know I got his back and I'm still there through the good and bad.. Don't ever take that quiet time personal. They mean well..

I say all this to say that, your guy may have some other things going on at the moment also.... it may not even be about you.. you never know with them unless you ask.. but DON'T pry tho, they are private individuals.. just say something like "Hello, I hope all is well with you.." OR "Hey just checking on you to see how things have been, I hope you're having a blessed day!".. If they want you to know they'll tell you, trust me. You probably put more pressure on the situation by being attached, when he wanted to just date, be intimate and "kick-it"..

When a cap says they are not ready for a relationship.. BELIEVE THEM.. They are honest AF and they don't intend to lead ppl on.. A lot of ppl that come on DXP get themselves into trouble because they fall deeply for a cap and from the jump caps already established the bounds.. "I don't want anything serious at the moment".. Some ppl take it upon themselves to say, "Well, he/she flirts, asks me out etc, so he/she must like me.. I'm gonna keep trying til he commits.." WRONG MOVE! You wind up hurt.. When a person they are simply just trying to be friends with wants more or grows clingy.. They can't handle that too well.. so your cap probably went distant to take the pressure off the situation.. he knows you may have wanted more and that's not what he wanted so he went quiet.. his way of rejecting you without being mean about it.. To us (anyone who isn't a cap) that distant behavior comes off as harsh and cold but they think that's a way to make things better without really voicing their issues.. They hate drama, arguing, and intense emotions.. I've had to learn to turn down my intense nature and become MORE patient and understanding with my cap.. They appreciate that.. and eventually they come around..

You have to take it slooooooww with their kind.. lol and when I say slow, I mean "snail/turtle slow" ..They do not rush anything when it comes to a romantic relationship or friendship.. They need to be able to trust you, first and foremost.. BUT know that when you are their's, they take it seriously and they want to be able to do their "thing" (work, school, travel, be alone -they need space- etc.) without getting harassed in the process.. That is a big NO NO and a major turn off for them.. So be easy with the guy.. Let him see that you can be an individual.. you can be strong.. adventurous.. friendly etc ON YOUR OWN first.. That attracts them.. They dislike loud, clingy, drama filled and outrageous ppl.. they will fall back from that kind....

It's a long tedious process, but I have to reassure my cap more than often of my "love" for him.. Never had to do this with any man before.. Sometimes they just get weary and don't feel good enough.. They need to know that you have their best interest at heart...

It's like, PICK one babe!!! You don't want me clingy, but you need constant reassurance & then you ARE NOT the constant reassuring or emotional type.. lol oh boyyyy!

You just have to know in your heart that you're willing to go the leaps and the bounds (sometimes disappointments) and be there for them and deal with their kind.. It's not a walk in the park, my dear.. but with time, they get more comfortable and open up more.. They have a lot of love in them that they are willing to give, but they want to give it to the right one.. I'm dealing with one long distance.. So it's EVEN harder for me, But I know in my heart he's a great guy, he's soooooo loving in person and he wants to be with me also, so I'm not letting him go too easy.. Patience is a virtue.. lol

😉

I hope this helps..