Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by StrawberryJam
@chuckcem @koniuchaa

He responded to apologize about the delay and told me in details about what caused that. He said he’s been constantly thinking of me and it was bad timing that we got closer before he left. He then asked if he could call and speak to me.

He then FaceTime me but during FaceTime we didn’t really talk about feelings more like filling each other in. He said he thought he would do a video call cos he wants to see the real me. He asked me to visit and then asked for the next FaceTime chat.



Well there it is. Sounds like he's not ignoring you after all.
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Yes he’s just getting lazy though haha I guess since he’s been away I’ve been initiating. Yesterday we texted again right after the call as he still want to chat but I had to go.

We text more I’m the last person who text so waiting for him to initiate. The sweet thing is he is sleeping next to the farewell present I gave him. I wish he can initiate more haha
@chuckcem @koniuchaa

He responded to apologize about the delay and told me in details about what caused that. He said he’s been constantly thinking of me and it was bad timing that we got closer before he left. He then asked if he could call and speak to me.

He then FaceTime me but during FaceTime we didn’t really talk about feelings more like filling each other in. He said he thought he would do a video call cos he wants to see the real me. He asked me to visit and then asked for the next FaceTime chat.

Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Chuckcem
Well to be fair, it doesn't sound like you two had that strong of a connection before he left. It sounds like you pushed him back on more than one occasion, but he persisted. The time to have grown close with him was when he was still around, not the day before he left.

Now that he's in another country, communication will inevitably become harder depending on his schedule and the timezone he's in now. You can't expect an increase (or even the same amount) in communication under these circumstances. This is also why people have trouble in long distance relationships.

Aside from the communication delays, know that he is now in another country having new experiences. Since you two weren't in a relationship prior to him leaving, there isn't much tying him to you. Sure he liked you when he left, but that doesn't mean that he won't meet other women down the line. So since he's gone, it's best you not expect much from this situation.

I'm sure he'll contact you when he can, but don't get upset if he can't do so frequently.


He did contCt me just an hour ago. Yes the timexone was very different. He also accepted my friend request. I also asked him about idk how to act around him cos I feel like there’s barriers. See what he says


Just understand that may not have a clear answer to that question.


Got it. I think he is confused himself as he told me before he left. He said I made him rethink his decision and he kept on asking hismelf what iS he doing and why is he leaving etc.

Also he seems to be wishy washy at work and other decisions he made. I thought I would just clear the air as I know I did push him away in the past (even it was caused by a girl who was trying to keep us apart cos she fancies him even she already has a bf)

To be honest he is average looking and my guy friends think he is ugly but girls at work digs him


Why would you care what your guy friends think about another guy's looks? They clearly aren't attracted to him, so of course they'd think he was unattractive. However what does it matter? Other people's opinions shouldn't matter. That being said, the girls at work have clearly picked up on something that your guy friends have not.
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He is a very nice person. Idk how he interacts with them may be he compliments them a lot I’m not sure.

On the farewell I took him and one of the girls from work to meet my friend. That girl was being really sexual with him with the way she talks. He was very gentleman and helped her with her bags. He even walked her out of the club. I thought they were going home together but he came back to me
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Chuckcem
Well to be fair, it doesn't sound like you two had that strong of a connection before he left. It sounds like you pushed him back on more than one occasion, but he persisted. The time to have grown close with him was when he was still around, not the day before he left.

Now that he's in another country, communication will inevitably become harder depending on his schedule and the timezone he's in now. You can't expect an increase (or even the same amount) in communication under these circumstances. This is also why people have trouble in long distance relationships.

Aside from the communication delays, know that he is now in another country having new experiences. Since you two weren't in a relationship prior to him leaving, there isn't much tying him to you. Sure he liked you when he left, but that doesn't mean that he won't meet other women down the line. So since he's gone, it's best you not expect much from this situation.

I'm sure he'll contact you when he can, but don't get upset if he can't do so frequently.


He did contCt me just an hour ago. Yes the timexone was very different. He also accepted my friend request. I also asked him about idk how to act around him cos I feel like there’s barriers. See what he says


Just understand that may not have a clear answer to that question.
click to expand


Got it. I think he is confused himself as he told me before he left. He said I made him rethink his decision and he kept on asking hismelf what iS he doing and why is he leaving etc.

Also he seems to be wishy washy at work and other decisions he made. I thought I would just clear the air as I know I did push him away in the past (even it was caused by a girl who was trying to keep us apart cos she fancies him even she already has a bf)

To be honest he is average looking and my guy friends think he is ugly but girls at work digs him
Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Koniuchaa
Well, could be because he asked you if you wanted him to stay and you said aren’t you happier somewhere else? That would certainly bum anyone out

I wasn’t disagreeing with you. Just saying it was
I asked him previously about what made him decided to leave. He said he is happier in his home country.

He can’t just expect me to say yes you should stay just before he left. Besides it a big decision. Not even his mom should made that decision for him


I’m just throwing out ideas. Could be a million different reasons. Best is to ask him
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I was not disagreeing with you. Just saying howit was unfair for him to think that. As I also had a feeling that even I did right by him but it wasn’t appreiciated. He just wanted me to make decision for him. I did sent him a message to tell him his behavior is confusing see what he says
Posted by Koniuchaa
Well, could be because he asked you if you wanted him to stay and you said aren’t you happier somewhere else? That would certainly bum anyone out


I asked him previously about what made him decided to leave. He said he is happier in his home country.

He can’t just expect me to say yes you should stay just before he left. Besides it a big decision. Not even his mom should made that decision for him
Posted by Chuckcem
Well to be fair, it doesn't sound like you two had that strong of a connection before he left. It sounds like you pushed him back on more than one occasion, but he persisted. The time to have grown close with him was when he was still around, not the day before he left.

Now that he's in another country, communication will inevitably become harder depending on his schedule and the timezone he's in now. You can't expect an increase (or even the same amount) in communication under these circumstances. This is also why people have trouble in long distance relationships.

Aside from the communication delays, know that he is now in another country having new experiences. Since you two weren't in a relationship prior to him leaving, there isn't much tying him to you. Sure he liked you when he left, but that doesn't mean that he won't meet other women down the line. So since he's gone, it's best you not expect much from this situation.

I'm sure he'll contact you when he can, but don't get upset if he can't do so frequently.


He did contCt me just an hour ago. Yes the timexone was very different. He also accepted my friend request. I also asked him about idk how to act around him cos I feel like there’s barriers. See what he says
We used to work together and he’s been trying to date me by trying to be around me inside and outside of work , invited me to his bbq when his parents were visiting him.

However I pushed him away because someone at work told me he has a bf already. I told him not to come to my class outside of work.

Then he made the decision to go back to his home country (he has dual citizenship) then we talked again and. I confronted him about having a gf already yet following me to my classes. He told me he never had a gf all this time so we know that girl likes him and caused drama between us. He wants us to stay in touch even after he’s gone and said we should get to know each other better.

We went out 4 times and he took meet his friends too. On his last day he had a farewell and we were bar hoping and. I took him to meet my friend. When we left he was confessing how he liked me since he saw me. He tried to kiss me but I said to him you are leaving soon let’s keep things friendly.

The day after he’s not texting me but I text him. The. He asked me out to go dancing. He left his other farewell early just to see me. He told me he said to his friends that there’s this really cute girl he must see again. His friend told him go now.

He asked me many times if he wants me to stay or if I want him to come back. I said didn’t you tell me you feel happier over there? I want you to be where you feel happiest the most. Besides if he comes back for me he might ended up hating me. He goes in case of things don’t work out? I said yes. He goes sometimes you gotta take risk. I was baffled as I’m not sure if he meant it cos if he decided to leave and all I had to say is stay he seems a bit wishy washy?

I let him kiss me that night and it was sad to say bye. We were texting until late and up until the next day before he hop on his plane.

He’s now back to his country but very distance. No longer flirting or affectionate. Last I heard from him was he is going to get a local sim and we will chat later. I messaged back to say hi later it was undelivered. He hasn’t blocked me as I can still see his profile pic and status. I sent him a Facebook request but he hasn’t accepted.

I feel disappointed, sad and worrying about what’s going on with him? He was the one who wants to stay in touch and things were going well the night before he left. I know we can expect much in this situation as he doesn’t know if he wants to come back, but for him to just ignore me does it mean our connection means nothing to him?
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
@AgentP911 I never asked him out or accept tentative date. It's me giving him a may be for second date and he had to chase me by calling.

@Malak @RooSagicorn

He's single for a reason, he is weird, nothing wrong with being introvert, his level is being paranoid around ppl. Also he was hiding something else, I always thought his background was arabic as he looks Arabic to me. He told me his background is European. Last night he finally Admin he is Arabic. He said they are Arabic but parents born in Europe. I think it's weird for ppl hide their heritage.

Never again, not saying never to caps, just never to him


if it wasn't for 10 years in age difference I'd be worried right now that we think about same person lol


I hope not, cos the one I went out with is NOT a catch. I definitely hope yours is better

he's got flaws I'll say it like that lol but I like him, has good potential too for better improvements but this one is much younger so can't be same person anyway lol but it really has a lot of similarities...anyway you're right there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of his background plus many Arabic man are quite handsome or at least i saw those mostly lol


All the best with that girl, just my 2 cents make sure you are ok with him for who he is now, and not to bet on his potential. it can lead to heart break.

will see what happens with that still, for now it's not looking really good and unless it's their famous pullback it's pretty much over...even if it isn't that i'm not sure how much i'm comfortable with being together with someone who tends to disappear and knowing myself I'll rather go away than cope with that bs...
damn we wrote so much about that guy here, i think no other thread has this many pages about any of them lol and he turned out just a weirdo by default lol


I dunno your guy but it doesn't sound good to me, but do take your time to get to know him and know yourself, know your limit and don't be afraid to walk away if he can't give you what you want in a healthy relationship.

haha yea we talked a lot about this weirdo. Its a good chat with guys though, I enjoyed it. Hope everything learnt something out of it, I did as I'm intrigued by psychology and the triggers that make ppl do certain things.



well it started of with him rushing in too fast and as it couldn't go like that he started slowing down and eventually disappeared. I did my part to reassure him I'm being serious, if he doesn't get it yet or maybe doesn't want it then there is nothing more for me to do there. There's plenty of fish in the water as they say... and my lures are good looking lol
I like psychology a lot too, maybe that's why we ended up discussing those guys a lot lol


If he was rushing in too fast I see it as a red flag base on my own experience. I suspect he could be a commitment phobe, which I hope I am wrong for your sake.

Since you are also into psychology I highly recommend you to read this book - Man who can't love from Steven A. Carter


Considering I was in a relationship and he knew that I'd say he was rushing in fast. He literally said "I just want you to leave him" and "You deserve better" meanwhile we just started talking, how can he know that? I could be actually a bad person and my ex a very good one(it wasn't that ofc and he was right but how could he possibly know that?!). Anyway at start I took it as flirting only cause well it's online and not to be taken too seriously when you talk to people like that but he kept showing me he is serious and kinda got offended if I'm not taking him in that way so I changed my mind in that way.
Overall commitment phobe might be right actually. Considering he's single for a while, this all thing that happened with us I no longer think he's that serious. I think he wants to be but can't. Only thing I can tell so far is he doesn't want to lose me completely but can't commit to anything either so moving on from this, wherever life takes us so be it
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You're right he didn't know you or him, sounded like he wants to "win" by making you leave someone else for his ego. Then when he has you he is now back paddling.

You don't have to answer anyone here, just write down 5 things you like about this cap, not looks or money, then 5 things you don't like about him. Then 5 things you want in a healthy relationship and 5 deal breaker, then you know the answer to whether he is worth further investing
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
@AgentP911 I never asked him out or accept tentative date. It's me giving him a may be for second date and he had to chase me by calling.

@Malak @RooSagicorn

He's single for a reason, he is weird, nothing wrong with being introvert, his level is being paranoid around ppl. Also he was hiding something else, I always thought his background was arabic as he looks Arabic to me. He told me his background is European. Last night he finally Admin he is Arabic. He said they are Arabic but parents born in Europe. I think it's weird for ppl hide their heritage.

Never again, not saying never to caps, just never to him


if it wasn't for 10 years in age difference I'd be worried right now that we think about same person lol


I hope not, cos the one I went out with is NOT a catch. I definitely hope yours is better

he's got flaws I'll say it like that lol but I like him, has good potential too for better improvements but this one is much younger so can't be same person anyway lol but it really has a lot of similarities...anyway you're right there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of his background plus many Arabic man are quite handsome or at least i saw those mostly lol


All the best with that girl, just my 2 cents make sure you are ok with him for who he is now, and not to bet on his potential. it can lead to heart break.

will see what happens with that still, for now it's not looking really good and unless it's their famous pullback it's pretty much over...even if it isn't that i'm not sure how much i'm comfortable with being together with someone who tends to disappear and knowing myself I'll rather go away than cope with that bs...
damn we wrote so much about that guy here, i think no other thread has this many pages about any of them lol and he turned out just a weirdo by default lol


I dunno your guy but it doesn't sound good to me, but do take your time to get to know him and know yourself, know your limit and don't be afraid to walk away if he can't give you what you want in a healthy relationship.

haha yea we talked a lot about this weirdo. Its a good chat with guys though, I enjoyed it. Hope everything learnt something out of it, I did as I'm intrigued by psychology and the triggers that make ppl do certain things.



well it started of with him rushing in too fast and as it couldn't go like that he started slowing down and eventually disappeared. I did my part to reassure him I'm being serious, if he doesn't get it yet or maybe doesn't want it then there is nothing more for me to do there. There's plenty of fish in the water as they say... and my lures are good looking lol
I like psychology a lot too, maybe that's why we ended up discussing those guys a lot lol
click to expand


If he was rushing in too fast I see it as a red flag base on my own experience. I suspect he could be a commitment phobe, which I hope I am wrong for your sake.

Since you are also into psychology I highly recommend you to read this book - Man who can't love from Steven A. Carter
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
@AgentP911 I never asked him out or accept tentative date. It's me giving him a may be for second date and he had to chase me by calling.

@Malak @RooSagicorn

He's single for a reason, he is weird, nothing wrong with being introvert, his level is being paranoid around ppl. Also he was hiding something else, I always thought his background was arabic as he looks Arabic to me. He told me his background is European. Last night he finally Admin he is Arabic. He said they are Arabic but parents born in Europe. I think it's weird for ppl hide their heritage.

Never again, not saying never to caps, just never to him


if it wasn't for 10 years in age difference I'd be worried right now that we think about same person lol


I hope not, cos the one I went out with is NOT a catch. I definitely hope yours is better

he's got flaws I'll say it like that lol but I like him, has good potential too for better improvements but this one is much younger so can't be same person anyway lol but it really has a lot of similarities...anyway you're right there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of his background plus many Arabic man are quite handsome or at least i saw those mostly lol


All the best with that girl, just my 2 cents make sure you are ok with him for who he is now, and not to bet on his potential. it can lead to heart break.

will see what happens with that still, for now it's not looking really good and unless it's their famous pullback it's pretty much over...even if it isn't that i'm not sure how much i'm comfortable with being together with someone who tends to disappear and knowing myself I'll rather go away than cope with that bs...
damn we wrote so much about that guy here, i think no other thread has this many pages about any of them lol and he turned out just a weirdo by default lol
click to expand


I dunno your guy but it doesn't sound good to me, but do take your time to get to know him and know yourself, know your limit and don't be afraid to walk away if he can't give you what you want in a healthy relationship.

haha yea we talked a lot about this weirdo. Its a good chat with guys though, I enjoyed it. Hope everything learnt something out of it, I did as I'm intrigued by psychology and the triggers that make ppl do certain things.

Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
@AgentP911 I never asked him out or accept tentative date. It's me giving him a may be for second date and he had to chase me by calling.

@Malak @RooSagicorn

He's single for a reason, he is weird, nothing wrong with being introvert, his level is being paranoid around ppl. Also he was hiding something else, I always thought his background was arabic as he looks Arabic to me. He told me his background is European. Last night he finally Admin he is Arabic. He said they are Arabic but parents born in Europe. I think it's weird for ppl hide their heritage.

Never again, not saying never to caps, just never to him


if it wasn't for 10 years in age difference I'd be worried right now that we think about same person lol


I hope not, cos the one I went out with is NOT a catch. I definitely hope yours is better

he's got flaws I'll say it like that lol but I like him, has good potential too for better improvements but this one is much younger so can't be same person anyway lol but it really has a lot of similarities...anyway you're right there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of his background plus many Arabic man are quite handsome or at least i saw those mostly lol
click to expand


All the best with that girl, just my 2 cents make sure you are ok with him for who he is now, and not to bet on his potential. it can lead to heart break.
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
@AgentP911 I never asked him out or accept tentative date. It's me giving him a may be for second date and he had to chase me by calling.

@Malak @RooSagicorn

He's single for a reason, he is weird, nothing wrong with being introvert, his level is being paranoid around ppl. Also he was hiding something else, I always thought his background was arabic as he looks Arabic to me. He told me his background is European. Last night he finally Admin he is Arabic. He said they are Arabic but parents born in Europe. I think it's weird for ppl hide their heritage.

Never again, not saying never to caps, just never to him


if it wasn't for 10 years in age difference I'd be worried right now that we think about same person lol
click to expand


I hope not, cos the one I went out with is NOT a catch. I definitely hope yours is better
@Cancervirgo15degrees

^ That's how I felt on first date, but thought I would give him another chance with open mind to get to know him better.I think he doesn't put any effort to develop relationship with himself either .

It's all about his work and road rage LOL
@AgentP911 I never asked him out or accept tentative date. It's me giving him a may be for second date and he had to chase me by calling.

@Malak @RooSagicorn

He's single for a reason, he is weird, nothing wrong with being introvert, his level is being paranoid around ppl. Also he was hiding something else, I always thought his background was arabic as he looks Arabic to me. He told me his background is European. Last night he finally Admin he is Arabic. He said they are Arabic but parents born in Europe. I think it's weird for ppl hide their heritage.

Never again, not saying never to caps, just never to him
@Malak It was more than just speeding, The way he cut corner and overtake ppl was as if he has lots of pent up frustration. Its Ok about not bad mouthing your ex, but you could at least make it brief about why didn't it work. As he asked me the same question as well...

His parents are only 20 mins away. He said he is lookign for someone with good family value but doesn't seem like he has good relationship with his own. Also telling me he is not a smoker but he already smoked twice tonight. First date he said only between drinks.

Basically no men should behaved the way he did tonight, he was not engaging, weird and absent. Unless something is up, not interested or he is just effed up. Either way it's not good.

My experience was awful tonight, I did not have fun, so not again.
@RooSagicorn @Malak

He picked me up and took me to dinner, I was so scared with the way he drives, the way he accelerate and overtook other was really aggressive. Even on empty street when he felt like turning to the street he would speed it up and did a really rough turn. He also space out a lot telling me hes just thinking about work.

He asked me the same questions again like when was my last bf. I asked him about him. He said last year but he has casual GF in between. I asked why things ended? he didin't want to answer he said too may reasons. this seems like a red flag.. if he can't talk about it means he is not over it.

During dinner he is really absent minded. he would reply work email or google work stuff. He seems to be numbing his emotional side with TV and work. Anyway He asked what will I be doing for xmas He said he is going away for a week. He doesn't want to see his parents, which appears that his relationship with his parents is pretty bad...

he said he hates crowds, used to got to bar but now he just prefer to stay at home. He even spent NYE alone at home last year...

He left me a few times, 1st time to "get something in the car" to smoke, then to wash his hands after shrimp, which is fair. Third time he went to buy heartburn tablet, 4th time he went to bathroom. I feel like he is totally absent Idk why he wants to see me.

When I went to wash my hands after my dinner I came out and he already paid and left, I looked up and he was waving at me from outside. Then he drove me home, he asked if I want to go to his to watch james bond movies. I shaked my head he said a bit late huh? I said mm yeah...

Then when we arrived he didn't try anything, he said he will talk to me soon. I said hope you feel better soon and good to see you. He said same enjoy your evening.

I honestly think this guy is emotionally unavailable. Other caps I know are not as absent as he is...
Posted by RooSagicorn
Posted by StrawberryJam
Posted by RooSagicorn
Posted by StrawberryJam
@RooSagicorn@Malak

I followed up with him since our plan is up in the air and I got other offer. He replied saying he is sorry and he got work tonight and his head has been everywhere. He asked if we could meet the next day instead.

mmm ok which head has been everywhere? LOL

Lol sounds like he had some work stuff going on? It would be interesting to see what he meant by that comment. It seems he’s probably a bit overwhelmed with too much happening at once. Maybe in different parts of his life? I know they can be quite the overthinkers too!

Did you see him yet?


yes its work. I think he probably meant work in that comment, I just had to poke fun of it LOL

Not yet, I'm too busy planning for my weekend, I have a feeling he will be selfish and call me on a Saturday night, as he has no social life. he doesn't even consider other ppl are out, he thinks ppl are there to take his calls whenever he likes


Lol probably. It’s not the way he thinks about. I’m free, I wonder if she is?

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ah I see lol. we will see what happens
Posted by RooSagicorn
Posted by StrawberryJam
@RooSagicorn@Malak

I followed up with him since our plan is up in the air and I got other offer. He replied saying he is sorry and he got work tonight and his head has been everywhere. He asked if we could meet the next day instead.

mmm ok which head has been everywhere? LOL

Lol sounds like he had some work stuff going on? It would be interesting to see what he meant by that comment. It seems he’s probably a bit overwhelmed with too much happening at once. Maybe in different parts of his life? I know they can be quite the overthinkers too!

Did you see him yet?
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yes its work. I think he probably meant work in that comment, I just had to poke fun of it LOL

Not yet, I'm too busy planning for my weekend, I have a feeling he will be selfish and call me on a Saturday night, as he has no social life. he doesn't even consider other ppl are out, he thinks ppl are there to take his calls whenever he likes
Posted by Malak
Posted by StrawberryJam
@RooSagicorn@Malak

I followed up with him since our plan is up in the air and I got other offer. He replied saying he is sorry and he got work tonight and his head has been everywhere. He asked if we could meet the next day instead.

mmm ok which head has been everywhere? LOL


he sound just like "mine" like they're the same person lol which ofc isn't possible but it's simply like they have a scheme how they talk...anyway maybe you're more patient than me and willing to tolerate that more and have a plus of at least being able to see him lol I decided to distance myself from this one, just don't have time for all that and those excuses really annoy me. I'll quote you here words from another Cap male about them just for reference lol : Idk, we are on one way good, on one way little bit crazy , cold, psychopath...
P.S head been everywhere...trust me it's his top one lol only thing it means is he's overthinking things about everything as usual...
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Well we only met once so I'm not as invested as you emotionally, if he doesn't see me I have other things to do. His reason seems legit and on first date he showed me the project he is on now and how he was expecting an international call on Saturday night just showed how intense it is. So really the only thing I can do now is enjoy my life and be open minded to get to know him. As I don't really know him after just one date.