Capricorn keeps suggesting then cancelling dates a

I met a guy 3 Saturdays ago at a local bar, he was out with his parents and I was out with my mum, as soon as he seen me at the bar, he asked for my number and asked to take me out the following Tuesday, he even took my mum over to meet his parents before taking me over to introduce me because he was trying to get my mums approval and impress me. We spent the rest of the night together, talking with his parents and he was following me around like a lost puppy telling me I was perfect and his dream girl, which is funny because he likes brunettes and I'm blonde, but he said I was an exception because I was different and that he couldn't forget me. Anyway we ended up going out for a few drinks on the Tuesday, had a laugh, complimented me all night and he asked me out again for the Saturday night. Sent me a text not long after he left saying he couldn't wait for Saturday and to see me and added me to Facebook straight away.

Saturday comes and I get a Facebook message saying that he had lost his phone on the Friday night and didn't want me to think he was ignoring me, incase I had been trying to get in touch with him, no mention about our plans for the evening though. I didn't say anything and just left it thinking maybe he would eventually bring it up, Tuesday comes and he sends me a casual message to see how I am, then asks if I would like to go out again sometime. I politely declined, saying I didn't think we should as we was supposed to go out Saturday and he didn't mention our plans. I thought saying that might make him step up. However it had to opposite effect. He messaged back saying he had sent me a text on the Friday to say he had a family wedding that he had forgot about and he couldn't make it but he understood and told me to take care.

No apology. Obviously I didn't get this text, if it was sent or not. 4 days later I decided to message him telling him I hadn't got his text and that I'd still be up for going out again, I knew I would be wary but I enjoyed his company, so I thought it wouldn't hurt me to casually date him. A few hours later he messaged saying he'd love to go out with me again and asked what day I was free this week. I gave him the option of Tuesday or Thursday and he said Thursday as he was away on a business course Monday and Tuesday. Thursday I get a message saying he was sorry he's going to have to cancel, the course had ran over and he thought he'd be back in time, but wasn't going to be.

So you say "no prob" and go out with friends. Such things happen, no need for drama. Wait and see if this becomes a tendancy you tell him bye

He offered to re schedule for either Friday or Saturday. I said Friday as I had plans for Saturday and then he tells me Friday is a tricky one because a friend was coming back from travelling and he was throwing a party for him, so why suggest Friday? but did say I could go along if I wanted. I thanked him for the offer but told him it was alright. He didn't give any alternative dates after that, just asked how things with me were and what my plans for the weekend were and then the conversation drifted off. He's since intiated conversation, asking how I am etc, but no mention of going out again.

Should I maybe intiate conversation and drop in something like 'I'm still waiting to go for this drink 😛'

Urgh, I don't like chasing guys, I spent half of my younger years doing it and got no where. I'm a firm believer that if a guy wants you, he will persue you but that's not working with him anymore.

Help?

Posted by asha
So you say "no prob" and go out with friends. Such things happen, no need for drama. Wait and see if this becomes a tendancy you tell him bye

I hadn't finished LOL

Posted by EusiveSoulll
Wonderingsoul??_.just a quick question??_did you post something similar not that long ago?!

Either way??_.personal opinion, not as a cap, but as a woman, I??d let it be! Meaning, if the guy is interested, he will show you that through his actions, and support it through clear communication. I'm not saying that he is not communicating, but somehow, I'm just not getting a good vibe from this one. ( I know, not a logical approach, but more times than not, your gut feeling can be the best guide).

It is very well possible that he had legitimate reasons for cancelling meetings, however, at this point of time it is becoming more of a track record, and frankly, if I were you, I??d take the heed. Also, all that sweet talk right off of the bet would make me wary.

I??d say, you keep yourself preoccupied with other things in life and don't have yourself tangled up in the web of —what does he mean with this/that??_what should I do now??_etc etc??. Greatest mistake women of all zodiac signs seem to do with cap men (speaking out of personal experience here)

Anyway??_I'm sure others are going to have more constructive and insightful suggestions to give then I have. All the best tho

I did post something similar a few weeks back yes, I think at the point we hadn't re-arranged anything and he hadn't cancelled on me again!

Thank you for your advice. I agree, I just sort of feel like smacking my head against a brick wall on how he can go from interested and not being able to wait until Saturday to see me to not interested and this was 3 weeks ago now, it's not like I even said something to turn him off during texting we only text once a day to see how each others day were. It feels like men just have personality transplants over night. I just wanted someone else advice, because I didn't know if it was me being un accomedating by not saying yes to going along to his friends party but then I feel if he really wanted me to go he maybe should have chosen his words better instead of 'you could come along if you want' didn't exactly make me feel like he wanted me to.

Your right I need to stick to my own advice theres a reason I already told him the first time that we shouldn't go out again. It's a typical case of wanting what you can't have, I never wanted him all that much before haha!

I don't think he was canceling because he wasn't interested. Things do come up. Its your response to this stuff that will determine whether he stays interested. You have to be understanding and cool about it because things come up a lot in a caps life. At the same time, don't sit around the house either. Show him that you've got a life too. I think he's suggested a lot of invites and although schedules didn't work out, well, he might give up eventually thinking you're not interested. He was inviting you to the party in his way and you didn't go. (yes, it makes us feel better to know they really want us there, but he wouldn't mention it at all if he didn't want you to go). He might be discouraged. You've turned him down a lot. You have to let him know you're interested too. Invite him somewhere. Just send him a text like "Hey, a group of us are going to ____________, you ought to join us! It'll be fun!". See what happens.

Warning though: There is no way on the first meeting that he can know if you are his dream girl. He doesn't even know you yet! And there's no way he can determine you're perfect in just a few hours. Don't believe everything a guy says.

True sometimes love at first sight hits. As all relationship flags it doesnt mean failure its just somthing to be mindful of.

I don't think it was intentional cancellations. Perhaps he was telling the truth. He lost his phone, but he contacted her through Facebook. He kept trying to reschedule and their schedules didn't fit. I wouldn't write it off just yet. Give him another chance.

Maybe it's just me, but anybody who makes a point to purposely introduce you to their family and get your family's approval withing minutes of meeting you is SUSPECT! And the "you're my dream woman thing" on the first meeting!?!?...um, NO! This guy sounds like he has a deep well of emotoinal and attachment issues but it's your call if you want to go there. I just wouldn't get too caught up in interpretting anything he says just yet. How about you make yourself unavailable sometimes? Not in a game-playing ways but as truecap said, show that you have things going on for you too. I mean it's a bit early to be getting so wound up about him.

Proceed with caution.

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by CaribCappy
Maybe it's just me, but anybody who makes a point to purposely introduce you to their family and get your family's approval withing minutes of meeting you is SUSPECT! And the "you're my dream woman thing" on the first meeting!?!?...um, NO! This guy sounds like he has a deep well of emotoinal and attachment issues but it's your call if you want to go there.

BINGO! Give the lady a cigar. Would prefer a Cohiba or a real Cuban? (Not that we would EVER have contraband like genuine Cuban cigars here on the Cap board or know where such things could be obtained, let alone how mellow and wondrous they are to slowly enjoy with a couple fingers of good whiskey or a cup of really awesome coffee... no, we can neither confirm nor deny all of that). 🙂

click to expand

Can I just have the cash? LOL

Sounds like this guy's astrological sign is a straight jacket...crazy is crazy no matter what side of the moon/sun it was born! I must be getting old cauz all this dating/bar-picking-up drama is too much for me....cho man!

This dude's stringing you along. Something better keeps coming up, so he keeps ditching you. In other words, he'll only make time for you if nothing else better comes up, regardless of it being business related or not.

If he was truly interested, he would have made it work by now. Quit chasing the dude. Let HIM come around and make the plans. And if he doesn't, well, you didn't waste any more time chasing the flake. Shame on the other females here trying to condone you sticking around. You're already seeing signs THREE weeks after meeting him and you're supposed to still be hopeful? Go do you and if he truly wants to bother, he will. The end.

I get that people can be busy, but the last minute cancellations spell flakiness.

Agreed. It's like these chicks who come here, who are either the other woman, or the potential other woman, and think that her guy won't cheat on her as well? Then they're shocked that he's screwing around or has become a douchebag.

This shit has been going on forever, the outcome is mostly the same, and I'd like to think that by our mid 20s, we've all learned these basic scenarios and what they turn into. Yet women STILL fall into these usual relationship scenarios? ...okay.

I mean, I get that when we're in the middle of it, we don't always see too clearly, but good lord. After awhile, you'd think some would get the hint...

^ not really directed at the OP, btw. Just addressing the general idea.