testing with jealousy

I get the feeling my cap fellow is testing me with jealousy by bringing up other girls. Is this a usual thing with caps? I get the feeling he likes when he sees me jealous. What do ya'll think?

When we first met a few years ago, we realized we had a mutual female friend in common. When I asked him then about their "friendship", he said it was just that, a friend. Nothing more. I never thought anything of it. I ran into her months later and casually brought him up discussing how we both knew him. She told me that they had known each other a long time and that they often flirted and had kissed once. She went on to tell me how she really liked him but she hardly saw him. Anyway, i confronted him on his little lie but did not make a big deal about it since it was in the past and it did not sound that serious. But it did bother me that he lied. Also, I guess he sensed a little jealousy on my part. Basically, its a very little sore spot but just recently he ran into her and made a point of telling me. Just like that, no big deal. I got the feeling he was testing my jealousy level. Weird... he seems to need reassurance alot.

Who are these Cappy little boys? Oy ve!

I suspected mine had hooked up with a female friend of his before we even met, and I never asked and he never told. However, during a conversation it came up and he informed me that they had hooked up drunkenly once, and that was it - nothing more to it - and proceeded to list off the reasons why she would be never more than a friend, very factually. I would hate to hear what he has to say about me if someone asked!

I find it quite odd that he would want to keep a 'friendship' with this particular person, however I didn't perceive I was being tested with jealousy. Rather it was more insignificant/irrelevant. My issue is more with the chick, as I think she still has a bit of a thing for my man, but I don't see him going back there and that is a whole other story!

Good luck 🙂

I agree with Sunray.

His mention of running into her again was so you wouldn't hear about it from her or anyone else like you did the last time.

I thought this was a situation where he constantly mentioned or looked at random girls. I don't see the problem or testing in this one.

thank you all for your comments...

important details get left out in typing out these stories, one particular detail here is that he chose to go to her workplace with buddies for a drink, and running into her there. Granted, I will give him that, he might not have known she was working. But the chances of running into her there are high. In the past, that is how he got to see her according to her. He would go by and see her there. What is interesting is he makes a point of going there and then telling me? Before I found out that they had a little something, we would joke around about him liking her and stuff. I would tease him and ask him if she was his type and so on. Then one day he asked me if I was jealous of her, not knowing anything I replied with great confidence, lol, I am not in the least worried! To that he replied: maybe you should be! and laughed. Men? Cap men? So, of course when I did find out they had at least something between them, it was upsetting. ahhh it feels good to type it out lol

Posted by aquapiscescusp

important details get left out in typing out these stories,

Never ever forget this as it will help your readers.

@Cp, Agreed.
@Neat, "I would hate what he would have to say about me" If it was with the bluntness and honesty of a Cappy you would. I call it love other folks call it hate. Opinions exist for other people not I, I tend to get bored with a backwards mindset. Owls discovered -.-

ES, that's it precisely. It makes me wonder what kind of person he is. The story changes as it goes but I agree with everyone else that says it is not such a big deal in the big scheme of things but for me, it's a little red flag 🙂 That says to me, watch this guy and his stories.

He definitely isn't innocent here, but you seem insecure when it comes to her. Asking him if she was his type before you even knew of something going on screams that you feel threatened by her in some way.

Him picking up on it, he's now thrown it at you for whatever reason. He's probably going to continue to toy with you too.

Now going to her workplace is a bit strange. Not admitting to the kiss can go both ways because if he picked up on your insecurity he probably decided not to say anything, yet I don't really understand why he would throw in there "you should be" jealous if he's all that concerned about how you feel.

Who knows what he's doing.

Inana, when we originally spoke about her, it was more in fun, we had someone in common and I also knew she was single so when he told me he would go see her at her workplace sometimes, it was not weird to ask if he was interested in her or found her cute??_ You know just talking 🙂 and yes of course I wanted to know if she was his type, I was feeling him out. At that moment I never felt threatened. It is only after speaking with her and knowing some details (kiss and other stuff) that throws me off.

He could have simply said yes, I liked her or like her, I used to go see her at her workplace bla bla bla, nothing wrong with that? According to her he was googoo gaga for her when he would see her and she could not wait to see him again, there was a mutual attraction is what I am trying to say.

IMO when he threw in that "you should be jealous" , I still had no idea about them, being cocky I guess. ALso wanting to make me jealous?? You know it wasn't just a kiss, there is a little more to the story. I get the feeling he kept her on the side ya know, hanging, like just maybe some day. I really don't know.

If he is testing you than he needs to grow up! I have NEVER mentioned an ex, or even TRIED to make my Cancer girl jealous. I never will. She gets jealous at times on her own. WITHOUT me helping that along. I know she cares about me and loves me. Would i add fuel to the fire? Hell No! That gets me nowhere but in the dog house. Amateurs.......