Capricorn man finally communicated- only slightly

So I have been in this long distance relationship/friendship with a cappy guy. We got introduced to one another by a mutual friend to see if there was any romantic interest. Anyways I got so frustrated of his constant excuses for not having time to chat to me or remember to contact me. He actually told our mutual friend he liked me right away.

Anyways I told him he needed to level the field by initiating contact with me as it was always me and he said ok ok. Nothing happened so I let 4 months go by but in that time had spoken to our mutual friend to find out what was happening with this guy. She started making excuses for him that he is real busy and then when I told her that surely in a span of 6-8 weeks he has even 1 min to contact me she knew she couldn't bull crap me. She was meetin up with him as they are in another country to find out and she was gonna get back to me. 3 weeks after this meeting and nothing so I just told the friend whatever happened or was discussed I dun wanna know.

I just needed to show my self respect. Anyways a couple of days ago this guy tells me that I was too emotional which is why he never responded to my messages as I had tried to explain why I was silent and that I was not happy with the way he treated me and he said that sometimes he is not able to reply to me becoZ he is busy with other things. I just said that is rubbish becoz there is always time if u make time. Even in a week there is surely 1 min even but he just never tries or puts in even 10% of the effort getting to know me like he does spending time with his friends. And I said he was very rude to me the day I messaged him to explain why I had been silent becoz he was messaging friends on Facebook which he had time for but couldn't show any respect to me. I told him he comes across as unemotional and with a massive ego and that he was in a relationship with himself.

He then said that I sent him too many messages that he doesn't know how to respond which is why he is keeping silent. I told him that if he actually answered me and communicated to me, I wouldn't need to send random messages as I keep creating all these scenarios in my head of what's probably going on. I told him to start off by telling me how he feels like if he is angry with me and if he is still interested and that this was a simple yes/no answer. No response.

So I finally responded by saying it's clear he doesn't want to discuss things with me and I can't pretend nothing bad happened as

It's not fair to the both of us. I told him that I can't be in this situation with him anymore and that him keeping silent pushes us further apart. I told him that we never chat the last 6 months but somehow I send too many messages but we have never actually talked. I told him to enjoy things now on as I am not waiting for him to commit and I refuse to wait for him to talk to me and anytime from now on is too late for him to have another chance with me and his was all due to his silence. I ended by telling him to take Care. No response...

I just felt u know what... Being in a love relationship shouldn't be an emotional roller coaster and I just can't be treated this way. I have tried to talk but he just closed up 100% and won't explain things to me. I can't be with someone like that. I deserve better. I dont know if he will contact me in the future but I'm not wasting my time to wait. I am gonna look for love elsewhere.

Does this make me seem like an emotional crazy biatch—

I have tried to be as calm but me sending messages to discuss things does not mean I am too emotional. An I have sent fewer messages than Facebook friends he has added...

I have to say... I don't love him. I resent him....

I feel like making him pay and by doing that.... Moving on without a concern for him and finding a man better than him... Except his effect on me is unsurpassed at present. He has good looks, an amazing bod... A woman's dream.. Easier said than done right??

Hey metoo,
Thanks for ur message. I didn't expect him to commit to me straight up but as a courtesy, I felt he should at least let me know if he is interested in me so that I know I'm not wasting my time. I tried to get to know him patiently but when he starts dodging u with excuses why he hasn't got time to chat to u and ur like hang on... Did I do something wrong and he won't respond... Or answer becoz asking him is me being too emotional, it's like give me a freakin answer or I'm outta here.

I have tried 4-6 times now to no avail and his only answer is either "u were too emotional that's why I didn't answer haha..." or "sorry too many messages that's why I keeping silent"

I dont know what to do because I cannot sit quietly... I think I owe to both of us to clear the air but he refuses to do this and following his way, I cannot just pretend nothing happened and go straight to chatting like normal.

I know we were not exclusive but we were introduced to one another on romantic terms to see if there was anything and were chatting to see how things go and when he starts dodging me trying to chat to him but won't say I'm not interested in being friends with u. I'm left with nothing but to end things.

I feel it's too toxic and there is no point meeting face to face becoz he will probably ignore me or respond "sorry too many messages, I'm keeping silent"

Jesus! I was thinking that cap women have a hard time being understood etc. but I'm feeling real bad for the Cap men now! LOL I mean, thank goodness I'm a female and have "assets" and the power of body language because all this emotional display, demand for constant communications and explanations would drive me batshit mad!

Here's the short answer to your issue IMHO

1) Caps men and women in general DON'T DO the overly emotional stuff, even with our families. We assume (wrong or not) that people should be able to conrol their emotions and "keep it together" like we do!

2) If you push us to "call me", "text me", "write you", "answer me" ... um, we WILL NOT. I will black list my own sistets for months if they get too damn needy!

3) Hun, this man/child was never your boyfriend. I'm sorry but you are at mile 24 and he is still on the rock surveying the land wondering if it's worth the hassle. If you want to lose him, keep doing exactly waht you're doing. But then again, you never really "had" him it sound like. I dunno!!

4) At the end of the day with Cap friendships, relationships etc. you come to a point where you fish (as in sit with you line just dangling and waiting) or cut bait. He won't "come around" or "get you" and you sure won't "wear him down" luv! Unless we have a demonstrated bond with you...(i.e., blood, repeated exchage of intimate bodily fluids, or have gone through some traumatic experience with you) we don't really feel the need to explain anything to you because your sort of like background music. I'm soooo not trying to be mean luv but I'm just letting you know that he will not be changing for you anytime soon. So, if you WANT to be background music just to be in his life, you will need to turn the volume down on that neediness (not in your view but his). But if, as you say, this isn't good enough for you, tell the man/child to kick rocks and be on your way!

If I'm not mistaken Eva is a Cap aswell.

So many people told me they reckon there is another wOman probably on the side. I told him I felt I was getting mixed signals from him becoz 1 min interested and next nothing. His response too many messages I dunno how to respond is so full of shit. He can't give me a straight answer and be honest withme and that is a cruel thing to do to someone who is showing compassion...

My revenge is to move on and find a man 10 times Better than he ever could be an do him haha....

If he ever comes to ask for a 2nd chance and apologise- too little too late...

He can't give a straight answer to me and he was the one seeking me in his time of calamity when he needed someone to console him.

I refuse to be at the bottom of someone's list. I am better than that....

And I am glad that I was the bigger person who could say "take care" and he simply read my message like a dumb fool and never responded

Posted by lnana04
If I'm not mistaken Eva is a Cap aswell.

I hope not! If she is I'm sending her in for a reprograming! Eva say you're not a fellow Cappy ... say it aint so!

Hi inana04 and caribcappy,
I am a cappy woman. I am not emotional but when I am introduced to someone on the pretense of seeing if there is a imantic connection and I get mixed signals that he's interested and next min not. I'm gonna get confused and to understand that we are on the same page, I will ask. Maybe that's the cappy in me. I dun like bullshit but prefer to be straight to the point. I asked the guy if he was interested becoz I was getting so frustrated trying to get to know him and him making excuses that there was no time and he never had the balls to say u noe what, I'm not interested pursuing anything romantic with u. He just sat like a silent baby.

Yes I may have messaged him a bit, but if he grew up and actually responded and showed some compassion and watched his tone responding to me "ur too emotional that's why I never responded haha" is not ok. I told him why I had been awol for 4 months an not once did he try to contact me and find out once and I told him that I just felt like Wasting my time getting or trying to get 2 know him...

He is a child and immature... But me explaining things to him and trying to bring things up is not me being emotional... I can be very calm and collected... But I just got so frustrated with the silentness it irritated me so I was like what the heck..... Let's just piss him off with more messages for the sake of it just to annoy him...

Posted by Eva
Hi inana04 and caribcappy,
I am a cappy woman. I am not emotional but when I am introduced to someone on the pretense of seeing if there is a imantic connection and I get mixed signals that he's interested and next min not. I'm gonna get confused and to understand that we are on the same page, I will ask. Maybe that's the cappy in me. I dun like bullshit but prefer to be straight to the point. I asked the guy if he was interested becoz I was getting so frustrated trying to get to know him and him making excuses that there was no time and he never had the balls to say u noe what, I'm not interested pursuing anything romantic with u. He just sat like a silent baby.

Yes I may have messaged him a bit, but if he grew up and actually responded and showed some compassion and watched his tone responding to me "ur too emotional that's why I never responded haha" is not ok. I told him why I had been awol for 4 months an not once did he try to contact me and find out once and I told him that I just felt like Wasting my time getting or trying to get 2 know him...

He is a child and immature... But me explaining things to him and trying to bring things up is not me being emotional... I can be very calm and collected... But I just got so frustrated with the silentness it irritated me so I was like what the heck..... Let's just piss him off with more messages for the sake of it just to annoy him...

O...K Now I GET what I think the real issue is. You don't want this guy, in fact you have already made up yout mind that you and him are a no go. But your goat is pissed off and you are simply asking if you are justified in being angry enough to exact the level of revenge that you are plotting in that brain of yours. After all, we don't want to come off as irrational and hotheaded...right? Moreover, you are pissed at yourself at the possiblility of having missed the sign and allowed yourself to be duped by this idiot when your agreeing to "check him out" was against your better judgement anyway. Here's your goat ego, "Doen't he know who he's messing with?! He's lucky I gave him the time of day! I wasn't reading things...he DID lead me on and he NEEDS to admit it!"

So, in that context...YES the man was an ASS! Yes he lead you on. As far as revenge....you are justified but is he even worth another couple posts in your life? You're a Cappy....buck up, head high and have h

Posted by 88pisces

Posted by CaribCappy

Posted by lnana04
If I'm not mistaken Eva is a Cap aswell.

I hope not! If she is I'm sending her in for a reprograming! Eva say you're not a fellow Cappy ... say it aint so!

LOL, CaribCappy,

is not nice to refer to you guys the "fish",.... there are bad capricorn males as there are bad fish males. PERIOD.
Honestly that was very imature and dumd from your part..

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Why thank you for your brand of "honesty" are you quite done now? Anything else?

I don't think the man was an ass at all! He didn't know you. He owed you nothing. You pushed him and evidentally pushed him away. He didn't respond = he wasn't interested. (Yes, it would have been more courteous not to respond). It should have stopped right there on your end and you should have chalked it up to oh, okay, he's not into me. Then, finally, he told you why. So, how does honesty make him an ass?

A couple questions:
1. Did he indicate on that first meet that he wanted to see you again? You didn't indicate he did.
2. Did you sleep with him that time you met him? If so, was that what made you think there was more?

Oops, I meant more courteous to respond.

Ahem! Someone cheats on ME and its see you never! We don't stay planted. I can see how our coldness could lead someone to cheat, but we don't tolerate it. Cheat on me and buh-bye!

Posted by 88pisces

Posted by CaribCappy

Posted by 88pisces

Posted by CaribCappy

Posted by lnana04
If I'm not mistaken Eva is a Cap aswell.

I hope not! If she is I'm sending her in for a reprograming! Eva say you're not a fellow Cappy ... say it aint so!

LOL, CaribCappy,

is not nice to refer to you guys the "fish",.... there are bad capricorn males as there are bad fish males. PERIOD.
Honestly that was very imature and dumd from your part..

Why thank you for your brand of "honesty" are you quite done now? Anything else?

Yes, you appear like a cold witch as well. and honestly. I see now why a lot of capricorns get cheated on to.
you must watch out not to be so cold and rigid...& you say fish stay there waiting... EXCUSE ME BUT you guys when you are cheated on to,, STAY PLANTED there for a long time, afair, and more afairs,,... NOW THAT IS STUPID.

as far as we know we have dignity and we move much faster than earth sign ( you), someone cheats on me, and see you never. I dont stay planted like an idiot.

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Um, What you talking about woman?

In my post I wrote and I quote: "At the end of the day with Cap friendships, relationships etc. you come to a point where you fish (as in sit with you line just dangling and waiting) or cut bait." FISH as in the act of going fishing ...i.e., fishing for a mate/man/lover. WHO SEND CALL YOU! READ before you get all teisted up...

Well, they say rock thrown in a apig pen the one that squals is the one it hits no?

AND why thank you for the cold witch complement ... I do think Ursula had pizzazz!

Anything else? By the way, this thread wasn't about any FISH if I recall correctly.

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by CaribCappy
Jesus! I was thinking that cap women have a hard time being understood etc. but I'm feeling real bad for the Cap men now! LOL I mean, thank goodness I'm a female and have "assets" and the power of body language because all this emotional display, demand for constant communications and explanations would drive me batshit mad!

4) At the end of the day with Cap friendships, relationships etc. you come to a point where you fish (as in sit with you line just dangling and waiting) or cut bait. He won't "come around" or "get you" and you sure won't "wear him down" luv! Unless we have a demonstrated bond with you...(i.e., blood, repeated exchage of intimate bodily fluids, or have gone through some traumatic experience with you) we don't really feel the need to explain anything to you because your sort of like background music. I'm soooo not trying to be mean luv but I'm just letting you know that he will not be changing for you anytime soon. So, if you WANT to be background music just to be in his life, you will need to turn the volume down on that neediness (not in your view but his). But if, as you say, this isn't good enough for you, tell the man/child to kick rocks and be on your way!

88pisces - Hey toots, you are going off half-cocked here I think. She wasn't using "Fish" as in "Pisces", she was using it as a verb.. as though Eva is fishing some waters where she should just cut bait and give up on landing a catch. I seriously doubt she was in any way trying to slight Pisceans there.

CaribCappy - 88Pisces speaks English as her second language. She does a great job, but please remember that now and then there will be unavoidable misunderstandings due to that.

There is no good reason for you ladies to get your hackles up and square off. Simple misunderstanding.. not worth a dustup.

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LOL...well that ish should be a damn disclaimer in her profile if she intends to walk in hurling insults at folks LOL. I mean Jeeze!! Um....and I don't square off or do the hackles thing. Not my style but I will point out your irrationality from time to time then promtly give you the "Nobody make any sudden moves because he/she is crazy" look.

Posted by ellessque
yes, you sound bat shit crazy.

you met him ONE time and you already had a full blow relationship in your head.

yikes. i don't think this particular instance is a cap man issue....i think any man would run like a bat out of hell.

I can't read this with a straight face...LOL stop! lol

I actually in the beginning when I first felt like I was getting mixed signal and he silent treatment asked if there was something wrong or something I said to offend him as he said no and went back to being silent which I couldn't understand.

When I told him it would be nice to hear from him every now and then as I didn't wanna always be the one contacting him, of at that point e had no interest pursuing anything with me, he could have said then sorry but I dun think I wanna go there.

But no, he lead me on and said ok I will..

That's when all this frustration occurred. Seriously I cannot deal with the emotional roller coaster with cappy men. Why can't I just have a normal relationship

Wow, there are some unnecessary low blows in this thread smdh.

Eva, do you think that him saying "the distance will not work for us" would have resolved everything?

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by CaribCappy

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by CaribCappy


4) At the end of the day with Cap friendships, relationships etc. you come to a point where you fish (as in sit with you line just dangling and waiting) or cut bait. He won't "come around" or "get you" and you sure won't "wear him down" luv!

88pisces - Hey toots, you are going off half-cocked here I think. She wasn't using "Fish" as in "Pisces", she was using it as a verb.. as though Eva is fishing some waters where she should just cut bait and give up on landing a catch. I seriously doubt she was in any way trying to slight Pisceans there.

CaribCappy - 88Pisces speaks English as her second language. She does a great job, but please remember that now and then there will be unavoidable misunderstandings due to that.

There is no good reason for you ladies to get your hackles up and square off. Simple misunderstanding.. not worth a dustup.

LOL...well that ish should be a damn disclaimer in her profile if she intends to walk in hurling insults at folks LOL. I mean Jeeze!! Um....and I don't square off or do the hackles thing. Not my style but I will point out your irrationality from time to time then promtly give you the "Nobody make any sudden moves because he/she is crazy" look.

All I'm doing is pointing out that there was a misunderstanding, and there's no reason for you guys to escalate it further, despite saying some unpleasant things after that misunderstanding.

Since it was a misunderstanding that started it, is it worth it to either of you to continue? It wouldn't be worth it to me.

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LOL, really? really? You played THAT card? well, played .... darn Cap! LOL

Posted by Eva
I actually in the beginning when I first felt like I was getting mixed signal and he silent treatment asked if there was something wrong or something I said to offend him as he said no and went back to being silent which I couldn't understand.

When I told him it would be nice to hear from him every now and then as I didn't wanna always be the one contacting him, of at that point e had no interest pursuing anything with me, he could have said then sorry but I dun think I wanna go there.

But no, he lead me on and said ok I will..

That's when all this frustration occurred. Seriously I cannot deal with the emotional roller coaster with cappy men. Why can't I just have a normal relationship

Yeah, I get ya...you kinda wanted to fix things if you maybe said something wrong but it honestly doesn't sound like there was anything you could have done to create a different outcome. You tried and tried and he just wasn't receptive. You're angry and hurt...justified or not. You made a mistake in placing you affections. Now just move away from the scene of the crash and DO YOU!!

Inana04,
If he had said that, I would have been fine. My issue was he refused to say anything to me so I didn't know if he was interested and to this day he will not say anything... He just says he doesn't know how to reply to me and that's why he's keeping silent. I'm just leaving it at this...

Posted by 88pisces
whatever.
maybe the word fish was misunderstood, if that was the case my apologies. but I am not backing off of the stuff I said to her because, all are here to ask for advice, because there is something hurting inside, and we need others to help. not to make anyone feel like a needy person or any other rude comments. ------ IF THE SHOE FITS- she can weart it.. I know it fits, by the way she is acting.----

I just have to say. That's not a real apology.

Posted by Eva
Inana04,
If he had said that, I would have been fine. My issue was he refused to say anything to me so I didn't know if he was interested and to this day he will not say anything... He just says he doesn't know how to reply to me and that's why he's keeping silent. I'm just leaving it at this...

You'll be alright, this will be a distant memory soon!

Posted by Eva
Inana04,
If he had said that, I would have been fine. My issue was he refused to say anything to me so I didn't know if he was interested and to this day he will not say anything... He just says he doesn't know how to reply to me and that's why he's keeping silent. I'm just leaving it at this...

It seems you are equally upset that he didn't put in effort of trying to get to know you though. If he would have said that distance was an issue, him not getting to know you most likely would have still been your issue it seems. Idk

I asked him if he is interested in knowing me anymore but he never responded so am I supposed to message him and say hey what did u do at work today? Happy birthday?

But he didn't answer to say yes I still wanna know u but just can't deal with all those messages.. Fair enough or he could have said no I dont wanna know u anymore sorry.

He didn't say this so I am at a roadblock. I ended wanting to get to know him but then again I have messaged this to him that I can't deal with this hot/cold treatment either he wants to know me or not and have said goodbye 3 times including the recent one.

I just didn't expect he would bother replying by saying sorry too many messages dunno how to respond so I am staying silent.

I actually apologized and said sorry for my messages that were rude but u never communicated to me...

So should I let things cool down a few days and ask to meet up as I am in his country on holidays at the moment and he knows this?

Or should I say to him I'm sorry for the way I've been. I have probably overreacted to u do u want a fresh start and have a coffee or something?

Or should I not bother...

I know we r not exclusive so he and I can go out with whoever.. That's not the issue... I would just like to know if he still wants to know me, be friends and go out..

No, seems to be the answer Eva. He's not interested. If he hasn't said it, I'm speaking thru/for him right now.

Please go and meet other people.

Posted by Eva
I asked him if he is interested in knowing me anymore but he never responded so am I supposed to message him and say hey what did u do at work today? Happy birthday?

But he didn't answer to say yes I still wanna know u but just can't deal with all those messages.. Fair enough or he could have said no I dont wanna know u anymore sorry.

He didn't say this so I am at a roadblock. I ended wanting to get to know him but then again I have messaged this to him that I can't deal with this hot/cold treatment either he wants to know me or not and have said goodbye 3 times including the recent one.

I just didn't expect he would bother replying by saying sorry too many messages dunno how to respond so I am staying silent.

I actually apologized and said sorry for my messages that were rude but u never communicated to me...

So should I let things cool down a few days and ask to meet up as I am in his country on holidays at the moment and he knows this?

Or should I say to him I'm sorry for the way I've been. I have probably overreacted to u do u want a fresh start and have a coffee or something?

Or should I not bother...

I know we r not exclusive so he and I can go out with whoever.. That's not the issue... I would just like to know if he still wants to know me, be friends and go out..

Luv, you're thinking like a Cap...not everyone is a "just say what you mean or how you feel" person. I know we often wish everyone was logical and would shoot straight and be upfront with us because that's the way we treat others. But Sometimes in life you just have chalk it up to "shoulda, coulda, woulda....but didn't". You're only going to torture yoursef more with these questions. If you can sleep with the decisions you made, despite the result then that's a great thing to wallk away with. I don't think you'll get any more clarity on the issue...at least NOT from him!

Posted by Eva
I actually in the beginning when I first felt like I was getting mixed signal and he silent treatment asked if there was something wrong or something I said to offend him as he said no and went back to being silent which I couldn't understand.

When I told him it would be nice to hear from him every now and then as I didn't wanna always be the one contacting him, of at that point e had no interest pursuing anything with me, he could have said then sorry but I dun think I wanna go there.

But no, he lead me on and said ok I will..

That's when all this frustration occurred. Seriously I cannot deal with the emotional roller coaster with cappy men. Why can't I just have a normal relationship

I think he was being nice and didn't want to come out and hurt your feelings. The silence should have told you something.

Just a word of advice, in the future, don't contact the man. Let him contact you. Let him make first contact. Its okay occasionally send a how are ya text, but generally, let him do the persuing. It makes you more attractive to men. Better luck with the next guy, hun!

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by lnana04

Posted by 88pisces
whatever.
maybe the word fish was misunderstood, if that was the case my apologies. but I am not backing off of the stuff I said to her because, all are here to ask for advice, because there is something hurting inside, and we need others to help. not to make anyone feel like a needy person or any other rude comments. ------ IF THE SHOE FITS- she can weart it.. I know it fits, by the way she is acting.----

I just have to say. That's not a real apology.

Agreed. An actual apology doesn't come with parting shots.

Let me be more clear: It was a simple misunderstanding. Unless someone is CRAVING some drama, how about knocking it off and having an nice, big steaming cup of STFU?

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Awww, somebody needs a sheriff's badge! lol