Posted by nsm625
Thanks for answering but can I ask are you a male or female Cappi? How long do you suggest I wait to have sex with him? It has been a little over a month now and now we kinda both agreed to being ready to take the step to have sex so if I tell him now I want to wait..will he think I'am playing games with him? How do you suggest I do it?
Posted by truecapPosted by nsm625
Thanks for answering but can I ask are you a male or female Cappi? How long do you suggest I wait to have sex with him? It has been a little over a month now and now we kinda both agreed to being ready to take the step to have sex so if I tell him now I want to wait..will he think I'am playing games with him? How do you suggest I do it?
If he's not initiating contact, I wouldn't give him the cookie. Make him put more effort out into persuing you before he gets the reward.
Just my opinion. I'm old school.click to expand
Posted by eight67530nine
Derpppppppp
Posted by nsm625Posted by eight67530nine
Derpppppppp
Please elaborate on what that means?click to expand
Posted by champrangerPosted by eight67530nine
Yes but the answers remain the same.
Leave
...because the Cap in this story only appreciates OP or cares at a friendship level?click to expand
Posted by bnr7013Posted by stillwat3rPosted by eight67530nine
Yes but the answers remain the same.
Leave
lol true.
butt some of the stories are interesting...and to see how people can't figure it out.
1) Find out what makes you happy
2) Appreciate it when you find it
3) Leave when you don't
Can we be friends? You seem pretty awesome...click to expand
Posted by nsm625
I have never had this many problems with any other guys. I usually have stalkers or guys that I can't shake but this cap guy does not make sense. Although Im a cancer woman I'am in my 30's and have learned to not be so clingy or smothering. I would sometimes go 5-7 days before iniating a hey text to him or call. I'm just kinda tired because it is started to seem like a game that I don't have time to play but I hate I really like this guy 😢 I will maybe give him one more chance to redeem himself and then I will move on.
Posted by saggyrl
It's tiresome because you're doing everything. Maybe let him take the lead...allow him to initiate contact and schedule your dates for once. If he's really interested he'll do it.
Posted by nsm625
Hey Guys I agree with everyone of you and even though sometimes the truth hurts..it needs to be said for one to wake up. I did talk to him yesterday briefly and told him I was going to fall back and he said please don't do that but I'm serious. We got interrupted yesterday while we were talking on the phone so he told me he would contact me back in which he did not after some hours. So I texted him a basic farewell text. He spoke of being down because his financial status is in the building stage and some health issues with his family bla bla bla.
Well guys this is some of what I texted him telling him that I know he was s strong,intelligent man & that he will make it in life & that I know he will conquer anything he put his mind to in his business. I also said that even though Im a friend first and that even though im going to fall back don't mean that I cant still be a friend he can lean on(meaning Im cutting him off with nothing more other then friend). I messed up and told him that "if nothing else he has earned a special place in my heart and for him to take care of himself(meaning GoodBye). Contin....
Posted by saggyrlPosted by nsm625
Hey Guys I agree with everyone of you and even though sometimes the truth hurts..it needs to be said for one to wake up. I did talk to him yesterday briefly and told him I was going to fall back and he said please don't do that but I'm serious. We got interrupted yesterday while we were talking on the phone so he told me he would contact me back in which he did not after some hours. So I texted him a basic farewell text. He spoke of being down because his financial status is in the building stage and some health issues with his family bla bla bla.
Well guys this is some of what I texted him telling him that I know he was s strong,intelligent man & that he will make it in life & that I know he will conquer anything he put his mind to in his business. I also said that even though Im a friend first and that even though im going to fall back don't mean that I cant still be a friend he can lean on(meaning Im cutting him off with nothing more other then friend). I messed up and told him that "if nothing else he has earned a special place in my heart and for him to take care of himself(meaning GoodBye). Contin....
I agree with StillWater, you keep giving him explanations. If you're going to fallback, stop telling him and just do it. If you were actually serious about it, you wouldn't have sent the farewell text and he knows this. Maybe that's why he's jerking you around, because you keep giving false threats. Maybe he was feeling you initially, but is unsure now...people do have the right to change their minds. Just like you have the right to decide to stop contacting him.click to expand
Posted by RichCap
I don't agree that you shouldn't have explained yourself. Don't beat yourself up about it. You didn't do anything "wrong" here. You got what you needed to get off your chest and now you've seen how much he isn't into you.
Posted by RichCap
It doesn't matter what he thinks. It only matters that you're not getting what you want.
Posted by RichCap
And yes guys can tell you that they want you around without knowing what they want.
Posted by RichCap
Thing he's stringing you along personally
Posted by RichCap
Thing he's stringing you along personally
Posted by RichCap
Easy. Go to places where there are likely to be winners on your level, and stop picking losers.
Posted by saggyrl
Even the most beautiful and wealthiest women have trouble in the love department. So, yeah I don't think it has anything to do with where you live and what you drive...perhaps it's the people you're choosing or maybe you might be coming on too strong initially. Guys fall faster than women, but they also fall out quicker than we do.
From my experience, when the woman tries to do everything (calling, planning, fixing issues), that gives them no incentive to invest anything. I dated a gemini who I thought was really into me. For five months everything was perfect, met his family and friends, he met mine, spent Valentine's Day together, he even took me to church. He lost his job, and I felt he started to pull away. I wanted to reassure him that I was there for him, so I would call and text often to check on him. We weren't spending time with each other and he barely called so I wasn't sure if he had a change of heart or was down about his job loss, but whenever I brought it up, he always came up with an excuse. He never once told me he had a change of heart.
Just be aware of the signs...if a guy is truly interested he'll call/text and want to spend time with you without any excuses.
Posted by CluelessCancerPosted by nsm625Posted by RichCap
Thing he's stringing you along personally
This is for anybody that want to answer me. Going by my post here can you guys tell me what I seem to be doing wrong with guys besides this last situation with iniating contact first which I never did before this last guy? I'm not a clingy type despite me being a Cancer I usually like to be left alone for the most part and don't want to be around a mate 24 hours a day or talk to them every day. Let me say this & I don't want to sound discriminating but I need to say this..I'm a black female in my late 30's very independent I live in the suburbs in a $ 400,000 house and drive a $ 80,000 vehicle in which most black guys I have talked to say that it intimidate them and they feel they can't compete with what I have even though I don't act snooty or judgemental. I'm not opposed to dating outside my race because my ex hubby that I have 2 children by is white. What can I do to find guys that are not so intimidated by what I have? I just want to give up on dating because its always something.
Get an African they're not intimidated by sheet. As long as your okay with being submissive cause they're arrogant and egotistic.
U already did the white boy thing, you seem pretty open, maybe it's time to date a latino or some other south American...
open your horizons.
also 80k car? Are you a Dentist or a Doctor. Wtf are you spending 80k on a CAR for...
Is it a TESLA? What kind of car goes for 80k. A range rover. Are you SWAGGERFIC CRAB.
it better not be some wack SUV ....porche.
feed my materialistic yet cheap soul.
click to expand
Posted by CluelessCancerPosted by nsm625
Ok guys ready for what this frickin JERK text me..I'm going to give u word by word so u can dissect it"Thanks baby I need somebody like you who is willing to understand me. I don't want you to go anywhere I just need time to get better established before I can give my time. I know this is some bs but I gotta do whats best for me right now but I do want you around." Ok guys this is a load of SH*T if you ask me. If he didn't have time why invest over 2 months and spending money taking me out to dinner etc to do this? I get that what this text is saying is I want you to be around like a puppet to accept whatever crumbs I give u but don't expect nothing else. Is that what you guys think?
Ok so this is what I hit his sorry as* back with and keep in mind I mean every word. " Sometimes we have to let go of who or what is best for us in order for us to do what is best for ourselves. I agree with you & wish you the best life has to offer because that is what I deserve also. Take Care" I let him know I was not willing to accept his BS. I will no longer contact him and just move on if he can't get his sh*t together. Do you guys think this was good what I said to him?
My brother refused to date seriously until he gets his sheet together, lately hes extremely depressed, saying i guess i have to settle then, i guess i can't go after the dimes, cause i have nothing to give to them...my dreams of acquiring a stunner are over.
then he goes guess ill give this Virgo girl a chance, she's been jocking him.
lol crazy, the girl is very cute, hot body, cute face, so many men want her, and she's getting a PHD in Nursing. lol he has nothing.
and he's settling. he doesn't think she's hot enough.
this is CAP logic.click to expand
Posted by CluelessCancer
men respond to action not words.
Posted by saggyrl
No worries. That relationship with the Gem was YEARS ago...and we're still cordial with each other so no love lost.
Hmmmm maybe it is your area. I'm a black female as well and where I live it's all about "what do you do". Seriously, that's like the 1st question someone will ask. They would LOVE you!
Try professional happy hour events.
Posted by saggyrlPosted by nsm625
Ok that's good to hear about being cordial at least. Ok so you being a black female you do understand where I'm coming from on black guys thinking right? Not trying to discount anyone else so please don't take offense because I'm not that type of person. Where I live there are no black males around here PERIOD and I'm not into a lot of stuffy, snooty type males either which is mostly around here lol. Where do you live..If they will love me maybe I should come there 😉
I don't really get that from men here. I think if anything, there's so many beautiful and successful women here that there's too many options to settle. I live in DC, where dating is all about your resume. So the guys are typically ok with having a suga mama lol.click to expand
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