CAPs & marriage

I'm hanging out with this cap man once in a while. It's a sexual relationship, but when we do talk, we talk for hours and hours until the sun comes up.

Now my confusion is, he brings up marriage all too often into our conversations, which is in the following forms

"what if you were married to me?"

"good night, my dear wife."

.... or a couple of times he suggested we can tell we are married.

He calls me "My Love", "Ashkim" (which is a powerful word in my language), but he doesn't like the word "liking" being used. I told him a couple of times, "I do like you, CAP man." but after every time, he protested and told me that he doesn't like that type of talk. I said, "ok -- I hate you then..." which makes him laugh and he says, THAT sounds better...

Is that a common thing with CAPs? Are they easy to bring up marriage?

Yes it's common, they are contradictory by nature and the ones I know that talk like that are straight up and down no doubt about it playa's

hm... thanks, Tiki, I was wondering about that playa ways.


He is jealous though, told me if he ever sees me with another guy it won't be good.

He is like a cameleon, changing colour every time I see him. First he appeared like this fun guy, but now I know all the serious stuff about him that one normally wouldn't tell to anybody.

So yes, it is contradictory.

Are they easy to bring up marriage?


you know I would like the answer to this to because recently I've had to deal with 2 cap family member and try to explain to them why a marriage proposal doesn't equal love.

one said things along the line of 'I want to show her what I can offer her if she marries me'
the other said stuff like 'If he would give us a chance, he would see how good we were together'

--- those kind of statements leave me quite speechless 😕

but when we do talk, we talk for hours and hours until the sun comes up.

Same with my boyfriend and I but he's a Virgo 🙂

I appreciate that X. I hate when people say "Don't be so judgemental, it's wrong." Is that not judgementalism? Is that a word? Ha.

I didn't have to say anything really. As a cap, I go temporarily deaf whenever someone says something stupid.

Warholian -- "Perhaps the scorpio sex you're giving him is making him feel something he has never felt before."

*********
He mentioned that he met only one girl he felt, at an instant, to marry her. She turned out to be a big cheater. 4+ years on and off relation. He ended, but also warned me she may contact me. She stalks him when she spots him somewhere. She has insisting ways of re-establishing relation with him.

Yes -- I have been tested quite radically for cheating habits. However... being a scorp and having gone through a big heartbreak myself recently, I am extremely cautious.


hmmmm.... he seems to like the scorpion ways... 😉

which surprised me honestly. Am less inventive than my usual self 😉

He gives me what I like though... tons of compliments, lovey words in my ears, sincere squeezes and "stay tonight" offers. It's the second time he asked me to come with him to a vacation destination.

For now, it is a once-twice a week thing, but I don't think it will develop into anything more.

Reading of CAP male ways on these boards doesn't make me feel any special to him. It just as well can be an "eff buddies" relation.

Don't fall too soon. My cap made lots of empty promises. Too much talking, not enough action.

well I really think they sound like they are talking to the 'potential' of a person or the potential of what they can work at to help make you something they like sometimes... like libra romances you as you represent the opposite sex to be romanced --- without actually seeing the real wants and needs of the person.
we all do ideals I guess...

I do have a tendency to think "what about forever" even when I'm having a one night stand.

hahahahahahaha - so so funny 🙂

Don't quote my sex talk and not address it. It's a big deal. And once a week probably works very well "eff buddies" or not because it keeps things fresh and new and there is time for things to get built up again.

"he seems to like the scorpion ways"

Yes!

warholian -- sorry... what did I quote and did not adress? Was it the part you said "...he has never felt before"?


That bit of quote actually defines us, warholian. I mean, he is quick in expressing and saying things and I am very cautious and examining. Even when you say, that I may have given him something he has never experienced before, it is a big deal for me too. It sinks deep, but I do not wish to fall into false perception as feelings run very deep for me. A meaningful relation, I do not associate with "eff buddies".

From the start he is very expressive in saying things like, "even within a crowd of thousands of people, I would have spotted you".

Our "rhytm" (also physically) seems to flow and he keeps on commenting on it.

His ex was a scorp too. When he found out I was one, he said "I'm in trouble!".


From past experience I know that the guy who is into you, seeks you up quite often, but this one doesn't. So for me, also comparing with my recent past experience, that is not a very promising sign regardless of how I made him feel. If I start feeling insecure in a relationship, that to me means the answer is obvious already. Or is it a CAP thing?

"From past experience I know that the guy who is into you, seeks you up quite often"

I think anyone who has an interest in a cap should drop this philosophy altogether. Remember we are cautious. If you see a capricorn coming on too strong, no matter how wonderful it feels, you should be worried.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you love your cap, get a hobby.

Capricorns = Contradictions—

Capricorns are hard on themselves. X are you a cap? Do you flirt with the word "marriage"?

I guess it's because we can be so definitive about relationships.

warholian --

Thank you for your valuable insight to CAP man's world, I'm completely clueless relationshipwise when it comes to CAP. Admittedly, I am affected by his emotions, especially in the hour of intimacy but also beyond.


Although it doesn't look like he is playing games with me, there were times when he played his role quite convincingly. Later when he confided on the cheating ex gf, I knew why he acted the way he did. Thereafter, I told him that I thought he was a pervert which he found amusing, because I didn't go along with his play, I insisted that for me there can be only one man at a time, which is him right now. If I'm with you, I will imagine you, not someone else.


Now lately I get to see an increasingly darker side of his. In fact he cried last night, which really disturbed me. It hurt to see him so upset, but he is also creating the condition himself.


I'm wondering how he would feel if I tried cheering him up, because I don't want him to think that I take his sorrows lightly. However, he sure gets fixated on things.

And as you described so well

***As a cap, I go temporarily deaf whenever someone says something stupid.***

that's what he turns into...; he just turns quiet and refuses to acknowledge my comment. Well... that's pretty new behaviour to me, because he doesn't do or say ANYTHING. It's like full stop -- until the subject continues he has been concentrating on.

Xun --

well.. first I pretended I didn't hear the marriage word either, but it started popping up too often.

***

warholian -- what do you mean by "so definite about relationships"? Do mean that you pretty much think to know if the person is going to be more longish stayer or not?

Or is it the wishful thinking? 😛

Warholian -- your comment on Caps and sex has me intrigued:

"I brought up sex because that's usually when we say the most (in words and action)"

Would you tell me more about this?

"what do you mean by "so definite about relationships"? Do mean that you pretty much think to know if the person is going to be more longish stayer or not?"

*temporarily deaf*

"I brought up sex because that's usually when we say the most (in words and action)"

Would you tell me more about this?"


Sure, how 'bout dinner first?

Xun -- "Still ignore it."

HA HA HA... will keep in mind. 🙂

that was pretty funny they way you put it. Thanks!

Warholian --

Ha! No. But I would appreciate an answer to my question.

CapTaur - you would, wouldn't you?

Well, yes. It's not uncanny that one would expect an answer if one asks a question.

I'd ask someone else, but from what I've read on this forum, your responses have impressed me the most.

Please know, everyone, I truly appreciate all your responses.

Also warholian being male cap sure adds extra icing on the cake here, never so mind the dangers of being chased with a stick ... 😛


So far it is the other way around, warholian. CAP man seems to want to transform ME! No -- he didn't cry about me, heaven forbid. He has past issues due to political reasons and he's been sharing footages with me yesterday again. He was one of the victims, so that really affected me.


It will never be boring with me, he said -- I never asked for it, just mentioned that I am not the most talkative person -- and so far I did see very different sides of him. It's true, it has never been boring. There were the awkwardly quiet moments when we first met and went for a dance night out. I find those silent awkward moments funny, because most people would just talk something, but we both were staring at different directions, and later he came with the conclusion that I was checking out people. I found that cute actually. I don't think I was. Where else would I look when you are in a club and the person in front of you doesn't talk.

It's funny you would say I need to be a magician to master the skill, cuz I thought I did well, but today he tells me I wasn't a good student. So I told him, everyone has a different perception to how they remember life. He told he drank large amount of wine yesterday after me and cried some more. (no he is not a regular drinker)

Oh.. my heart hurts for him already.

He can't be tricking me, can he??

No he can't I would think. He is not the drama queen type, but his stories are quite overwhelming.

"***If you see a capricorn coming on too strong, no matter how wonderful it feels, you should be worried. "


I was wondering about that too. But I do feel his approach to me was strong in the beginning, now it has mellowed, but other things have become strong... so... are there some intentions hidden behind his fiery approaches?

**Reading of CAP male ways on these boards doesn't make me feel any special to him. It just as well can be an "eff buddies" relation.**

You will seldom see anything positive written about Cap males, here or anywhere else. Theirs is a cold harsh world in which few of us can penetrate but they seem to thrive in. They seldom let anyone into their world...so the rest of us mistake it for coldness and we say nasty things about them. It's just that rare few people are allowed into their world.

Capricorns = Contradictions?

That's what happens when you get pulled by both sides. A Cap is not a full goat but a Mer-Goat, ie, half-fish, half-goat. It must be hell for them to be pulled apart by BOTH EARTH as well as WATER elements.

This is why he may sometimes be very expressive in his feelings for you and then without warning, he goes into "Jedi" mode and dwells into a monk-like silence.

If a Cap tests you, it's because, more than another sign, Cap is looking for true love...someone he can be truly be loyal to. And much has been said about Caps' loyalty....but usually in hushed silences. Few people get close enough to them to earn that loyalty.

And FUMRedFairy_tales, if this man is dropping hints about marriage, it's because he's gauging your reaction. Ignore it long enough....and you will never hear him say it again.

Whether that is sad or not, is up to you.

CapTaur: "I brought up sex because that's usually when we say the most (in words and action)"

I guess what it comes down to is we are workaholics, so at the end of the day, we have a lot of pent up energy to release.

Priss: ?I do feel he is one huge contradiction...it's annoying me too death. I think it's just too much work.?

Caps are contradictions and are prone to depression, alcoholism and melancholy due to the inordinate amount of responsibility they take on. Plus, we are really hard on ourselves. If one is coming on too strong, while it may be sincere, it is the fish that is flopping it's tail as Beowulf mentioned. You'll get a better feeling of what's really going on, but at the same time, that grounded goat will need to weigh every pro and con regarding the future potential of a relationship. I have seen caps go absolutely MAD about someone because they were trying to cushion the blow of something else that was going on. The three most important things in anyone's life are work, home, and love (respectively for cap). If work and home aren't going so well, we might get a little hasty in the love department, which isn't a style that works best for us because we regret it later. Unless?

Beowulf: ?If a Cap tests you, it's because, more than another sign, Cap is looking for true love?

You're always right on the money!

Fairy:
"CAP man seems to want to transform ME!"
It probably feels that way because you are usually in control of the situation. I don't think caps are in the business of changing people, that's more of a scorp thing. Let us not forget our similarities though.

"I find those silent awkward moments funny, because most people would just talk something, but we both were staring at different directions, and later he came with the conclusion that I was checking out people. I found that cute actually."

Sounds like classic cap caution with some insecurity thrown in there for good measure. Or he was just trying to make sure you like him.

"but today he tells me I wasn't a good student"
He's putting you in your place. Ha! What did you do wrong? I was talking to a friend about how I'm not very complimentary all the time and sometimes when I like someone I can be a little insulting. I mean no harm. Some don't understand the wry cap sense of humor. I'm glad you do.


"He can't be tricking me, can he??"
What does he have to gain from that?

"No he can't I would think. He is not the drama queen type, but his stories are quite overwhelming."
Shut up and listen. He's not looking for a response, he's just finally found someone he can open up to.

"I was wondering about that too. But I do feel his approach to me was strong in the beginning, now it has mellowed, but other things have become strong... so... are there some intentions hidden behind his fiery approaches?"

Damn y'all scorpios. 🙂
You always think there's something else going on like everyone is out to get you...we are, but not in the way you're thinking 😉
I think you can answer that question all by yourself.

sj: Me as well. I don't like when people talk about certain signs being more committed and loyal than others. Sure personality has an affect on that, but when it comes down to it, you like who you like. Love does not discriminate. When I am dating, I am doing just that. I wouldn't limit myself to finding everything I want in one person unless we were planning to really take the leap together.

oh my goawd.... FUMReadFairy is in *eff heaven. Such stamina CAP man has... like his true sign... wheww...


we even argue once in a while. Never mind marriage, it's good what it is.

warholian -

"but today he tells me I wasn't a good student"

Well he tells me exactly the way you just did "Shut up and listen."

His angles are quite interesting. He gets stuck on detail that make up the big picture. He was telling me stuff from his very own angle and I told him, I can't just go ahead and accept and own your views. I have to make my own research as well. I need to look from TWO different perspectives. He said, FUMRedFairy... you gotta look from 4 different angles, not one, not two....

I can see that. I do like his ways of thinking but I can also see that he gets impatient with me at times.

I go away for a fort-night and you have caps marring shame

I don't understand what you mean by "marring shame", james. Can you please elaborate?

why would anyone in there right mind marry a cap and why would a cap want to marry beats me.

well.. everyone can have a different approach to marriage. Not sure why not marry a cap man, but in general I do not believe so much in marriage anymore, at least not just to have sex and play house. You usually know when the person comes around who you would want to spend the rest of your life with, BUT... that doesn't happen very often and I wish for everyone... if it does, it is mutual.

Marriage can be bliss... 🙂

I had my blisses... 😉

Have fun in your "fort-night out!"... it's quite nice to find someone you can be physically quite great with. I usually look for the whole package, which is mind, chemistry, attraction (in order as it appears 🙂 )

they want to get married, but they dont want to treat you well enough to get you to want the marriage

Does he make you laugh
Does he stimulate your brain
Is he fun to be with
Do you feel comfortable with him
Do you patch up your differences quickly

Then , he's the "One"

🙂

Dogs -- to me all of the above you mentioned gets a checkmark I experienced with CAP, but it is not enough to be the "ONE"

Why is a CAP man afraid of being loved?

Or is it only then when he thinks the person he is with is NOT marriage material? But HE was the one talking of marriage all the time and I was the one telling him not to make jokes like that...

He claims he is not a player, but he sure seems to have all the properties for one.

I said to CAP man, "I found a nick for you" 🙂

I will call you *this* from now on. A word that very much describes his behaviour but more on the charming side. He smiled. Then said, "FUM... my mother calls me that."

Ha ha.. I guess I hit a gold artery.

And I thought I had figured him out.

"And I thought I had figured him out."

HAHAHAHAHaaaa. That right there will get you into trouble.

warhol

I knew I would hear from you for that comment.. 😉

smooch..

🙂