communication??

Ok, how in the world do you communicate with a cap man, because no offense caps, but this guy just seems defensive, overly bossy, and like he doesn't care to listen to my feelings. I try to talk straight and I try not to get emotional, because I heard that's the way I should communicate, but he just always seems to think there's no possible way he could be wrong, and I even asked him if there's a better way to communicate with him. He said, "just be blunt. If you need to have a serious conversation, just tell me that." Well, I'm doing that, but he shuts me down. Although he denies it. Caps can u help me understand this man? I am seriously being so patient with him. I don't yell at him or blame him either. I just try to tell him how I feel when he does certain things. Like a normal adult conversation. I know he is worth it. I am holding onto this man. Just need to learn how to communicate.

With Caps guys, sometimes they can be selfish. Ie., if you are nobody to them or don't have a title, do not expect a sensitive listener like a pisces. In fact, they might get annoyed if you share your problems, like why are you bothering them..?!

When they are busy or dealing with their own stuff, don't expect them to ask about your day. If you have an emergency, you can tell them but if it's about your feelings...maybe choose a more sensitive sign. If you need something, figure out what it is first.

Basically Caps expect you to be self sufficient and independant. Don't go to them with anything that you can do yourself unless they are better at it/more efficient. For ex., my Cap is a pro Chef so he does all the cooking.

If you need to criticize him, be mature about it. Keep it short and avoid being longwinded. They hate time wasters.

Posted by ElleDuMonde
He can't do anything for you in regards to feels. Give him real problems he can solve for you.

DIng ding ding.

My ex-cap appreciated that I took the time to think through my feelings and come to him with needed solutions.
Unfortunately he was weak af and would run away anyways HA! But from what I see that's not a Cap thing, that's a him thing.

Think through your emotions, get to the point with them. I can be almost robotic when discussing my feelings which I think caps always appreciate. Don't come at them emotionally, they can't handle it. If you're super emotional there is nothing wrong with that AT ALL! But you guys might not be a good match.

Posted by SunMoonStars
.

Basically Caps expect you to be self sufficient and independant. Don't go to them with anything that you can do yourself unless they are better at it/more efficient. For ex., my Cap is a pro Chef so he does all the cooking.

If you need to criticize him, be mature about it. Keep it short and avoid being longwinded. They hate time wasters.

co-sign

With my ex Cap I had to wait to speak to him, when he was in that mood. They do open up and communicate but not on demand. Wait until he is talking and try to bring the conversation around to whatever it is...you have to catch him when he's in the flow.

je suis pas un robot !

Men want to hear what they're doing right, not what they're doing wrong.
Men develop a bond with us when we make them feel good about what they are doing. That bond increases when we make them feel like they are making us happy and it decreases when they feel like they are making us miserable.
No one wants to hear what they are doing wrong.

My advice is more positive reinforcement.

So when he does something nice or good, acknowledge it and tell him how happy it makes you that he _________ (i.e. contacts you every day/says something nice/does something good/etc). Tell him it makes you feel good about your relationship.

When good things are reinforced, if he cares about you, he'll keep doing those things and most likely start to do more.

Baby steps....baby steps.

Wow, I had no idea how much all these comments would help me. Thanks for being so specific, and breaking it down for me. It all makes more sense now. I should've found this forum a long time ago.

I really like what you guys said about positive reinforcement. Talking solutions instead of problems, and waiting for him to be in a talking mood. So helpful!

It's easier for me to open up and talk after a few drinks. 😉
Not too many, but just enough.

Lol what if you didn't drink?

Posted by scorpio24356
Lol what if you didn't drink?

ˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆ

Posted by _

Posted by scorpio24356
Lol what if you didn't drink?

ˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆˆ

click to expand

Not really sure how to take this comment. Hahaha

Posted by scorpio24356
Lol what if you didn't drink?

I can't imagine not having a drink occasionally....😈

But if I didn't drink, I'd probably not open up for a long, long, long time. I have to feel safe first. Very few people make me feel that safe.

I'd like to add that timing is also key. Don't bombard your Cap with your problems on a Friday night after a long week. I find if I wait until Saturday after a night's rest and some time to settle in together, he is much more receptive.

I have a tendency to talk about my day right away when seeing him after a week apart. He just doesn't have enough time to feel comfortable. He's also exhausted as well from the week.

And yes, as truecap said, a drink definitely helps. My Cap will often say "..you haven't even finished your first drink yet" if I launch into a story or want to have some intimate time 😉

He can be very helpful with certain tangible things, but tbh I don't go to him for emotional support. Neither does his family or friends I notice. He's just not built like that.

Say nothing and be abrupt when he calls, not rude or mad or angry, just abruptly get off the phone before he can finish his thoughts, especially if he's talking about himself.

Don't GIVE him much of you when he's unwilling to listen and understand you. He's a grown man. He know when he's fucked up. You are not his mother which is one important reason why he's being the way he is with you. You're giving off that nagging motherly energy that turns a man off.

You're nagging. You're tip toeing and tap dancing around his feelings which gives off this "desperate" so I'll save your feelings type of energy which can create disrespect in a man unintentionally. Don't save his feelings, tell him to shut the fuck up and listen, you're being rude, you're being a jerk, an asshole and it makes me feel unloved, unwanted and rejected. Just say how his behavior makes you feel and then shut up, go on with your life and see if he'll alter his behavior or continue on. If he doesn't temper his behavior then he does not give 2 fucks about you, drop him and move on to someone who will be less challenging and more willing to love, listen to you and appreciate you.

So the next time he comes around or calls or text. Be blunt. Don't give more of yourself to a man that is unwilling to yield and allow you to influence him so you both can be happy with one another.

Don't reward him by staying by his side, saving his feelings, nagging and jaw jacking the issue to death. Instead say nothing and do nothing. And don't yield and what you'll notice is that he will yield when he's has time to INNER REFLECT as to why you seem unwilling to listen to him, unwilling to go out with him, unwilling to text and text for hours or communicate for hours. He'll notice you're not there and he'll wonder why things have changed and then he'll go inside of himself and begin to think about what could be turning you off and then you'll notice a change and you would have done NOTHING but save your energy until he catches up with you on the situation.

If you're an option, being treated like an option then don't make him a priority in your life or you're going to get more of the same disrespect and apathy from him.

If you're putting him first and he's treating you like you're second or last then that alone is one of the main reasons why he does not want to listen to you, you don't matter enough for him to listen to you, if he's first in your life and your second in his life then you don't really matter all that much to him. Maybe you unconsciously set the situation up this way but you can correct your behavior so things will snyc up be a bit more equal between the both of you.

Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

where is working, i think its because if your capricorn work around sharks, he comes home really tired

Posted by _

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

where is working, i think its because if your capricorn work around sharks, he comes home really tired

click to expand

Yeah, I think it's important to be sensitive to the circumstance. My saggicorn is an introvert, so he's tired after being around people, whether they are pleasant or not - something that I can relate to as a fellow introvert.

Posted by LillyPetal

Posted by _

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

where is working, i think its because if your capricorn work around sharks, he comes home really tired

Yeah, I think it's important to be sensitive to the circumstance. My saggicorn is an introvert, so he's tired after being around people, whether they are pleasant or not - something that I can relate to as a fellow introvert.

click to expand

so many sharks in the game 😢

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

What exactly is a saggicorn and how do you know yours is one?

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

What exactly is a saggicorn and how do you know yours is one?

click to expand

You can tell by the birthday.
A Sagittarius/Capricorn cusper = saggicorn

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

What exactly is a saggicorn and how do you know yours is one?

Honestly I'm going to be a little up front, how do you know about Albania? Just curious.

click to expand

I lived in Albania and Kosovo for 1 1/2 years. I speak Albanian. Why?

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

What exactly is a saggicorn and how do you know yours is one?

Honestly I'm going to be a little up front, how do you know about Albania? Just curious.

I lived in Albania and Kosovo for 1 1/2 years. I speak Albanian. Why?

Do të thote qe nuk je shqiptare? E sidoqofte s'ka rëndësi

click to expand

Sa mir qe mund te flasesh ne gjuhen shqipe! Haha jo Sjam. Amerikane jam Por ska gje sepse e dua shum shqiperin. ♡ atehere je shqiptar apo jo? Prej nga je ti? jetova ne vlora, tirane, shkodra, fier, dhe ne prishtine.

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

What exactly is a saggicorn and how do you know yours is one?

Honestly I'm going to be a little up front, how do you know about Albania? Just curious.

I lived in Albania and Kosovo for 1 1/2 years. I speak Albanian. Why?

Do të thote qe nuk je shqiptare? E sidoqofte s'ka rëndësi

Sa mir qe mund te flasesh ne gjuhen shqipe! Haha jo Sjam. Amerikane jam Por ska gje sepse e dua shum shqiperin. ♡ atehere je shqiptar apo jo? Prej nga je ti? jetova ne vlora, tirane, shkodra, fier, dhe ne prishtine.

Jam nga tirana. Kam jetuar 8 vit ne Chicago por pastaj erdhi deportation.Ti ke qene pjese e ndonje organizat qe paske shetit shqiperine me shume sesa une?

click to expand

 mir pra. Jetova ne tirane afer fushes ali demi per disa kohe. Haha po po, i sherbeu si nje misionare dhe shkova ne shume vende. Me vjen keq qe ishe deported. Degjova qe shum njerez ishin gjithashtu. Atehere, sa kohe ke ne shqiperi tash? Para sa kohe ishe debuar?

Posted by Explicit
My mom is a Capricorn and she listens but she simply DOES NOT understand my feelings.

I don't know what it is with Caps and a few other signs but they just don't understand feelings.

Haha i know right? Like... everyone feels emotion at some point, but they can put themselves in other people's shoes. It's like they block it out everytime and forget what emotions feel like.

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by Admiral

Posted by scorpio24356

Posted by LillyPetal
Wow, I guess having Sagittarius mixed in with the Capricorn really changes a man, because these threads sound nothing like my saggicorn. @__@

What exactly is a saggicorn and how do you know yours is one?

Honestly I'm going to be a little up front, how do you know about Albania? Just curious.

I lived in Albania and Kosovo for 1 1/2 years. I speak Albanian. Why?

Do të thote qe nuk je shqiptare? E sidoqofte s'ka rëndësi

Sa mir qe mund te flasesh ne gjuhen shqipe! Haha jo Sjam. Amerikane jam Por ska gje sepse e dua shum shqiperin. ♡ atehere je shqiptar apo jo? Prej nga je ti? jetova ne vlora, tirane, shkodra, fier, dhe ne prishtine.

Jam nga tirana. Kam jetuar 8 vit ne Chicago por pastaj erdhi deportation.Ti ke qene pjese e ndonje organizat qe paske shetit shqiperine me shume sesa une?

 mir pra. Jetova ne tirane afer fushes ali demi per disa kohe. Haha po po, i sherbeu si nje misionare dhe shkova ne shume vende. Me vjen keq qe ishe deported. Degjova qe shum njerez ishin gjithashtu. Atehere, sa kohe ke ne shqiperi tash? Para sa kohe ishe debuar?

Ehhh nuk mund te shkojne gjithe siç duam ne sepse do ishte shume e thjeshte ashtu. Kam pese vite. Do kthehem ne nentor 2017 se kam fituar "family reunification" por eshte akoma ne fuqi urdhi. Vetem nese homeland security na fal kete vit qe ka ngel por pa problem, kemi prit gjithe ato vit qa jan 1 1/2?

Ne cilen shtet jetoni? Nese se ke bezdi te pyes?

click to expand

Ça eahte "family reunification" ? Skam degju per te.
Shpresoj qe mund te vish prap ktu. 🙂
Po jetoj ne Utah, por jam nga California me origjine.