deciphering Cap men

strong feelings for Cap man,I'm
Aquarius. After reading message board,
understanding his confusing behavior
a little better. Can be very caring
compassionate when together and
totally disappears other times.Always
busy,work etc. Have seen that flirting
big time when someone gives a second
look. Willing to give him some time to
relax and trust me.How long does it
take? Any advice out there? Its been
one year.Tell me.

Not a man, but a Cappie nonetheless.
I know that as a Cap, sometimes both us men and women do love the chase. (Or being chased, I mean.) For me at least, it's a very flattering thing. It also let's me know that the person is interested enough to want more from me, which usually is what I wait for. I don't even bother if I'm not sure the other person is into me, because, like the cliche goat, I AM a workaholic. And sometimes it takes a lot to get my attention.
I will say this though. When you've got it, YOU'VE GOT IT. And if you're direct, and take the initiative, and persist on our hearts, more than likely, it's yours to keep forever. Don't be dicouraged by indifference or if he sometimes seems cold or insensitive. It's just mainly a cover up to hide our true vulnerabilities, and to keep a safe gaurd over our hearts. (We don't like to get emotional over just anybody.) And he might be waiting for some sort of sign or assurance that you really want him, before he lets you know if he really wants you.
We caps sometimes will look right and left a thousand times before we actually decide to cross the road.
My advice is to give it time. And persist, persist, persist!!! If you slack off, then most likely, he will too. But, if your relationship continues to grow, and the two of you happen to blossom into lovers, then the pay off will be "milky sweet" as they say...

LOL...I think? Boy do I ever share your boat!

Cap guys are really hard to figure out. Yeah I've been dealing with that "running away" thing myself but I think it's a built in mechanism or something? Remember they test "the waters first" so that they "can be sure". It sounds crazy but when one witnesses it I think one can understand that better?

But you are oh soooooooo right mentioning "TRUST". It seems to be where it's at w/Cap men. Unlike the women(?) Cappy men need to feel the trust more first? As far as how "long does it take" well that's now anyone guess. I've been waiting 5 yrs.? But mine is married and KNOWS he made a mistake (long story).

I have this however...if your heart is telling you he's worth it than listen to it! The Universe it seems works thru out hearts? Just ask the Universe "what you think you should do?" before you go to sleep - literally - and you'll get your answer like I did!

63,

You made me very happy!

Well, you know... I try😉

.....*still blushing*

63 and 12 thanks for your advice
and great words os wisdom !

I am learning that I cannot decipher anyone......I give up. People are what they are at the moment that they are in.

No other explanation....either I accept them for who and what they are or I don't and move on.....lately, I have been moving a lot! Geeze!!!!!!!

If anyone knows how to explain humans, please let me in on this. We could sell the formula!

AFx2

"No other explanation....either I accept them for who and what they are or I don't and move on.....lately, I have been moving a lot! Geeze!!!!!!!"

You already have your answer to your own question! LOL

I think it's what our heart tells us and what it feels? Anyway I've come to this conclusion, based on the heart of course and if they're worth it, it's these top 3 IMO on deciphering Cap men

1. Understanding(#1)
2. Acceptance
3. Tolerance

All in all do will really want to deciphere them? Isn't that something 2 people do together? I believe it's called growing? I for one would rather decipher a Cap AFTER THE FACT and not before! It would sorta take the fun out of it, at least for me anyway. Afterall who wants to know everything about someone before hand? There would be nothing left nor any suprises. Just my opinion. Just follow your heart each and every day and DO what it tells you. If it tells you to wait and see, do it. If it tells you to move one than to that. Either way we're doing WHAT WAS MEANT TO BE DONE and one should never doubt that.

We really ARE NOT IN CONTROL of our thoughts as most would think. It's definitely in the hands of a higher power that knows what our life is/should destined to be. Afterall is that higher power not our designer?

LIKE IT 12, YOU WERE READING MY MIND!

And I can't even do that!!!!!!LOL!

True that, 12! Absolutely....life is about discovering...why do we always have to be sure of something before we get involved and then only to find out that we really didn't know? Isn't life a big mystery? I like what you said, "growing together" it is very nice.

AFx2~ A human-becoming or....becoming human? another mystery of life!

Hiya,

I got to say that feeling understood is what floors me the most. The feeling of being cared about and loved is a very close second. But, trusting all of those feelings is difficult for me. I remember when I was with this woman, I'd ramble to her about anything and when I finished she'd tell me that she understood. It was a great feeling to feel understood because I've always felt I was the odd one out.

Not sure about other Caps but as far as taking a long time to make a move. Myself, I attempt to examine every action from all sides, estimating outcomes and reaction to those. Though probably attuned to an anxiety disorder, that is how my mind works.

This probably doesn't help you, I'm sorry. But if it does, I'm glad I was helpful.

The New Capricorn Guy

HeyYa NCG, you've got the right idea. It all comes down to UNDERSTANDING one another. If one has understanding of another than the rest will follow...love, respect, tolerance, acceptance, etc. etc.

Today most people get together for LOVE and then AFTER THAT FACT THEY TRY TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER(?), and it's just not going to work nor is it possible cuz it's to late. In reality they are doing it backwards. One CAN'T have love WITHOUT having understanding FIRST!! Makes sense huh? Now if only the rest of the planet could believe this, but NOOOOOOOOOO, they insist on getting together first AND THEN try to understand each other? Logically if one were to stop and think about this it DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Hense, break-ups, divorces, hatred relationships, and everything else in-between. I'd rather "hold out" for someone who understands me thru and thru than settle for 2nd best but then it's going to rest on WHAT that person IS LOOKING FOR isn't it? So it's to EACH HIS/HER OWN?

Sounds like YOU know what you're looking for as well being that you don't believe in "dipping the carrot"? (Sorry but I couldn't resist!) Kudos to U! I wish there were more like YOU!

Keep the faith on what you want NCG for I believe we will all BE VICTORIOUS! It's just a matter of that pesky thing called....T-I-M-E-....TIME!!!

Usually once a Cap gets married they will trust you, like in my case. I am Cap and really didnt feel "totally" secure or quit being supicious until I actually got married and now I can totally turst my spouse. Also having a family is really important to us caps. Maybe run the idea of becoming even more serious by him if you're ok with that. As for him always working, money makes the world go round aand pays the bills and will keep family finacially secure. Sugest a vacation if he can get time off work. Best of luck to you !!

For #24.74. I just wanted you to know how much I loved

"A human-becoming or....becoming human?"!

How profound and deep. Not only IS IT another mystery of life but perhaps another way of looking AT life? Either way one looks at it or thinks about it, I guess I wanted to say THANKS! Even I never looked at life that way? Very nice!

And don't forget 12,

90% is looks and the other 10% whatever— That is what a man wants!!!

My man will have to know all the lyrics to Melvin and the Bluenotes, "If you Don't Know Me by Now" before we get hooked up! I like the way Simply Red does it better though!!!
Babygirl

Actually #152 they say it's 100% ENERGY of the 2 persons and nothing else (Falls under one of the Karmic Universal Laws. On the net BTW. LOL!). And given what I've seen as people as a couple "hook ups" in my life I don't doubt for a minute that that ISN'T TRUE!?

#12.89,
What do you mean you have been waiting 5 yrs for a married man? That is crazy. Surely you can do better. He obviously cant be in love with you and have you waiting while he is with his wife. I will be honest, not meaning to be mean, but dont you feel bad or guilty? It just seems wrong. How could he even trust you or respect you. Not alone how could you even ever,ever trust him knowing he is married and messing with you. Your relationship could not be based on trust if he is cheating on his wife with you.The odds probably are not in your favor if he hasnt left after 5 yrs. Really.You should keep in mind that there are plenty of men out there who arent married and be commited to just you.How will you feel after 10 or 20 yrs and he is still married and you all alone, 10-20 yrs older,wasted a lifetime on a man who could care less, just wanted extra on the side.What does he have to offer you?Oh, and he has stuck around 5 yrs for his wife, she must be doing something right.You should gain a bit of respect for yourself and learn to know you can do better. You should let him be. If it was meant to be for you and him, he will divorce her and be back to you.But why would you want him...
Good luck to you.

It takes more than looks to attract my attention. Not saying I don't like pretty women, but If a lady doesn't have anything in her head I'm going to be quite disinterested.

"Actually #152 they say it's 100% ENERGY of the 2 persons and nothing else (Falls under one of the Karmic Universal Laws"

I'd like to know more about it! What are some of the other laws. I agree with your comment!
Babygirl

For bunny, the story is a long one and can never be posted here. Suffice it to say that we met 5 yrs. ago. Our hearts and minds met at the very moment. It was beyond a karmic experience and connection! If such things as "Twin Flames" exist he is my twin flame without a doubt.

He had been gone after that for 3 yrs. My soul was not the same in that time. It just longed for him. In the end of the 3 yrs. is when he got married (only 2 to date has he been married). When we got togeter he knew he had made a mistake in marrying the women that he did for his soul longed to be with me as well. He is struggling with his decision now on what to do.

It is because I have respect for myself that I am willing to wait for him because he believes in what I believe. He's like my missing half of my soul which makes us both complete. He feels this as well.

I'll give up on him IF and WHEN the Universe says it's time. I know it sounds crazy. There's more to this situation though bunny. He is different and the situation needs to be looked at in a different perspective than what one normally would.

For BabyGirl, you have to remember that a person is nothing but energy (spirit) and therefore we are subjected to Universal Laws whether we think so or not. It can get a little complicated (metaphysics) and at times difficult to understand.

But you wanted to know the "Laws". Here's one web site

www.1-spirit.net/pages/metaphysics/law.htm

You can type in Universal Laws at any search engine and get tons of info. Be sure to search for the "Universal Law of Attraction". I think you'll be very surprised as to how WE REALLY attract people! BTW you can search for any of the laws on their own. Such as Law of Love, Karma, etc. etc. Pretty interesting.

For BabyGirl, sorry but I forgot the "S" in "laws"

www.1-spirit.net/pages/metaphysics/laws.htm

12,

I did surf through it and what I found was interesting enough, but how is it considered a Univeral Law—? It is a mixture of Christianity and common sense and toss in a little metaphysics for flavor? I prefer to keep them seperate and let them stand on their own. It sounded mostly like ripped-off quotes from the bible, which then is given a metaphysical theory!? There was nothing new there. It seemed like plagarism to me! Although they put their own spin on things!

For instance the law of attraction, I don't think by thinking about wanting to be with someone we create vibrations that attract them or repell them.

I also believe that nothing just comes to you. If you want something, you have to make it happen!?

I don't know, just my opinion!
Babygirl

also 12,

speaking of 'Universal Law' they talked alot about 'unconditonal love' or permissiveness. I would say from my own personal experience of unconditonal love, I am from a family of four children and three of them sister. And my parents allowed us to make all of our own decisions. It worked really well for my brother and not good so good for us girls. All of the women turned out very strong and attracted weak men!!! Yes, my parents practiced 'unconditional love' and were extremly permissive!! We didn't have to go to school, we could go out with any boy and live with him if we chose. We made our own decisions. I left home at 17 and took my 16 year old sister with me. We knew nothing about the world, but we found out real quick!! All three of us ended up with weak men that were alcoholics, abusive, and were just bad choices. We did not know what to look for in men. Everything always was dumped on us! My mother use to say that "men were just that way, so get use to it." Get use to the cheating and the abuse and the no help and no job and the abuse and everything else!!! I am know 41 years old, and I don't want to live like this anymore. I have what it takes to make it on my own, but what I don't have that I need is love from a man that is worthy of me. How do I attract a man that is my equal and not one that needs me to be his mother and whipping post. This scares me to death. I have been through two relationships in the last 24 years. This last one almost wiped me out!!! I think I have one last try at this, and this will be the last time. If it doesn't work, I will surrender.

I don't want to keep repeating the past as it only makes me weaker. I am not putting down your belifes; I am only communicating my own personal history. Children, especially girls, need consistency and guidance. I think all children do. I think my parents did well, and I love them more than life itself, but the only thing about being such strong woman is it seems to attracted weak men! I am tired of being in control and the one that has to make all the decisions. I could use some help. I would like to be weak once in a while!!! I really don't know how to correct this imbalance as I have always been taught to be strong! Any advice would be appreciated!!!!!!!
Babygirl

And if it makes any difference, I am a Libra/Capricorn Saturn

Hey BabyGirl, you're so very right, it is a mixture of Christianity, common sense and a toss in of metaphysics. Here's the catch, don't look at it as a Universal Law per se. By the way the Universal Laws are also known as Divine Laws. Therefore, the Divine is the Universe and the Universe is the Divine. They can not be kept separate. They're not supposed to be. If you look at it that way you'll miss the big picture and not understand what they're meant to be about. All of it is intertwined. You can't have one without the other. Perhaps you'll take more of an interest in it and learn as you go along. It'll make more sense to you.

As for your other post I understand truly. I too come from a family of 4 siblings. I too left home when I was 17 (as a Sag I wanted to experience my freedom). But my parents also thought me morals, values and discipline. They did not allow me to do whatever I felt like it and I think this is one of the reason I left? They (values, etc) have stayed with me thru-out my life however. It too am 41 y.o.

I too am a very strong person with Saturn in Cap. Most don't know this but our Saturn placement is who we REALLY are and NOT our sun sign. Saturn over-shadows both the Sun and Mars placements.

I'm sorry for what has been going on your life, especially the past. I sense that you NOW want better for yourself. Sit down with yourself Babygirl and ask yourself what it is that you DESERVE and want in a man. And NO it's not the way your mom said it had to be about "getting used to it" as far as men are concerned. It's about YOU not YOUR mom. Big difference. What is it that you want now?

In order to find love from a man you need to find THAT LOVE which you seek within yourself BG. Only then can you not only attract it, but share in it as well! I can relate to everything you wrote BTW. Talk about kismet!

Find yourself first BG and ask the Universe/Divine to be your guide in life. It will, you just have to have faith and ask IT for help. Thru my "growing up" all these years (I had some really bad relationship times) it seemed that awareness and becoming aware is what helped me to know what I wanted and needed in life. Be more aware of yourself BG is the best advice I can give you. Listen to your inner voice, and KNOW that you deserve the best of the best in this lifetime and you'll get it. It seems it does come down to faith in the Universe and most definitely to put our lives in ITS hand. We have no control, so let go of it BG. It's wasted energy. The Universe will take care of us if we have faith in that IT will. And it does for some reason doesn't it? Coincidence? I doubt it!

As the one who started this topic
thanks to everyone for their help
I need to have patience and take
time.....
New Cap Guy your advice was
helpful. Thanks. I recognize
a lot of those qualities you talk
about.
Not sure if I'm ready to suggest a
more serious move at this point,
guess I'm old fashioned and hope
the man will suggest it first.Will
keep working on it though, and
persist,persist...
For BG and bunny.Know a great book
by Louise Hay- You can heal your life
is the title.Gives you great
positive affirmations and teaches
you to start working on yourself
to attract what you want in your life.
Health,success,relationships,work.
Take a look.Also a web site.
www.hayhouse.com

12,

Yes, I heard all of what you are said. I understand all of it too. I guess I answered my own question when I wrote what I did. When you meet someone and want to start a relationship, you really are seeing the side of the one they want to present to you, and that's all! So, from now on I will decide how long is long enough to get to know someone, before I get involved!
I need to ask more questions!
Thanks for all the help,
Babygirl

Back to deciphering Cap men...good luck! They won't budge an inch for anyone. They are tough as nails. Alot of times they are better off as bachelors. My brother is that way. He just got married last weekend and his wife wants children he said no! His wife wants to move, he said no! on and on and on! She gives in because he just won't compromise, EVER! You really can't figure them out. They are just the way they are. Maybe a little selfish at times and they take care of number one first! Not such a bad quality, I guess!

Yes, those are bad qualities and He can be a real jerk!
BabyGirl

I have this so-called-capricorn friend who I can't decipher either.
He is "mature" and has been widowed for a while. He behaves like a child and it seems to be that he is quite content being on his own. However, he wants me to meet him on his own terms and at his own pace, which I refuse to do. He owes me a book and while I insist that he drops 'it' at a certain place he plays dumb and wants to see me personally. I am not interested. How can I get back my 'books' while avoiding to see him altogether, as he will hold this 'meeting' against me, as he had done in the past,and thinks that once we meet/met we can always meet, and he can't get it. It doesn't work that way with me. Not with this man at least. Any advice?

Hi there,

The only thing that I could suggest is that YOU take responsibility for yourself by following YOUR heart and trusting YOUR instincts. I too have been where you are. I learned a lot because of that situation and it gave me the insight to knowing that I must take care of me. We cannot decipher a Cappy or anyone for that matter. Why try? You already know that something does not FEEL right. This is enough information for you to move on. Have him drop off the books where YOU decide and don't take no for an answer. If this is a real problem than chalk it up for experience and let it go. You may decide to buy them again later yourself.

Just be TRUE to you and all will fall into place.

Sending you positive good energy! 🙂
AFx2

This is for 24
I am not sure I will 'see' my book again, ever. I would rather do without, although I cherish my books, maybe a small fee to pay for the price of dinner 'outings' with this cappie man.