I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS CAPPY AT ALL :O!!!!

i have been friends with this guy for just over two years now. From day one I knew he liked me, he made it clear with all the meaningful topics he would talk about and through his sweet/flirty messages. I also felt the same but found it hard to express it in the same way that he did. I was almost closed off to a fault. This is just in my nature however. Eventually a situation arose where I was forced to express everything on my mind and told him how i felt and how he was the only one etc.. etc.. This situation was someone i know telling him lies about things i had said about him.. he ended up calling me fake and told me to leave him be. He did not speak to me for about six months and i stopped trying to speak to him and explain that i'm not fake. but I did tell him the truth about how i feel and that he has to know that i keep everything inside.

A couple of weeks ago i decided to call him up and see if he responds. This was six months after our disagreement. He actually decided to speak to me this time round and did not even mention a single bit of what had happened.. and i decided not to aswell. This conversation was really good and he spoke to me about everything..and asked me about every aspect of my life, marriage was also mentioned and he was completely interested in hearing everything i had to say, at the end he told me to keep in contact with him.

The second conversation we had recently was when he decided to call me up. The conversation was very different to the last and its as if i was talking to a different person. He didn't ask too much about me, instead he spent almost an hour talking about different girls, at least six different girls. At first i thought it was just a normal part of conversation but then when he kept going on about how this girl wanted to meet up with me and this girl was soooo pretty and i was checking her out and this other girl said this to me.. i thought he was talking too much about it. I however kept my cool and spoke to him very naturally he would not have even realised that in my head i was wondering what the hell was going on.lol.

Only yesterday he dropped a bombshell. He said he was feeling very depressed and he couldnt sleep...and he told me not to ask him too many questions but it was to do with a SPECIAL person.. a girl who he says he liked and ticked all his boxes but it was not going to work out.

OBVIOUSLY I WANTED TO KNOW MORE...SO I ASKED MORE QUESTIONS....THE TIMING...WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM...HE DIDNT WANT TO ANSWER ANY OF THE QUESTIONS.... WELL THEN WHY MENTION IT IN THE 1ST PLACE?? LOL

HE SAID SHE WAS GREAT... ALTHOUGH IT CAN'T HAPPEN NOW SO I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT...

ITS JUST WEIRD HOW ONLY A COUPLE OF WEEKS EARLIER HE WAS TALKING ABOUT LIK AT LEAST 6 DIFFERENT GIRLS...HOW SHE IS HOT...THIS OTHER PRETTY GIRL WANTS TO MEET UP...ETC..ETC... AND THEN ALL THAT TIME SUDDENLY IT COMES OUT HE HAS A SPECIAL SOMEONE??
IT DOESNT ADD UP TO ME
CALL ME A SKEPTIC

ALSO ANOTHER FEWW ODD DETAILS..: HE DOESNT KNOW I KNOW..BUT HE SPOKE TO MY FRIEND EARLIER...POSSIBLY A MONTH OR SO BEFORE I DECIDED TO RING HIM UP AND HE TOLD HER THAT HE NEEDS TO FIND A GIRL...BUT HE HASNT HAD TIME TO LOOK AROUND OR ANYTHING...
WHERE WAS THE SPECIAL SOMEONE THEN??

SORRY EVERYONE IT WAS NOT 6 MONTHS... IT WAZ MORE FOUR MONTHS AND ONE WEEK LOL

Posted by M
And?

well obviously... i want clarification..hahha

Posted by M
Of which part? There's more than one thing going on...

MOSTLY THE LAST PART.... i thought he was in to me... and in like two and a half years he has never mentioned a single girl.... now after our massive fight... whereby..this girll we both know told him that i say he is chasing me etc... and is after me...obviously i would never say these things...but yes he stopped talking to me for for months or so..and kept calling me fake..and wouldnt pick up my calls

then we resume contact again...in early may...the first convo..he says he is glad to be talking to me....and that i can call him anytime...and if i ever need anything he will b here...etc...and he sounded very much like his interest had not changed...that he still was interested


and then.. the next few conversations... he seemed not as friendly....or something... i got a different vibe off him..

and then he started mentioning all these different girls... one after another...
and i acted very casual and did not show any emotion or anything... i kind of showed that i ddnt really care...so i was back to my usual self

the most recent conversation... he says to me he is depressed... his heads all over the place...
he cant sleep...he doesnt know why...and then he goes actually i do kno why.... and i think u kno...and im so stupid...,that i thought it was something to do with his job...but i was not certain... so i say i have no idea.... and then he said to me...i feel like there is something missing when i sleep..which is why i cannot sleep..and me being a dumbo...i still didnt get it..so he says ok forget it and he went...

conversation after... he said to me did u figure out why i was depressed...and swear to god..i had not even given it a second thought...so i said i have no idea... and he then says.. ok i will tell you...
but u cannot ask me any questions...and he then goes and tells me...
there was a special someone...who i lost... so i said a friend>??

he said no not really... then he proceeds to tell me..u kno when u meet someone and they tick your boxes... so i was like :O :O... i go are you talking about a girl...and then he said well obviously its a girl... and at this point i was like oh my god... (what girl and where did she suddenly appear from)....

and then he said he doesnt want to talk about it anymore...and he left it...he wouldnt even let me find out any more....
and s

yes and since what he told me... i have been keeping my distance... because i don't quite know what he is playing at.

What is your sign Candy? am just curious...🙂

Posted by preciousvirgin
What is your sign Candy? am just curious...🙂

LOL whyyy— can you guess?

Posted by candy10

Posted by preciousvirgin
What is your sign Candy? am just curious...🙂

LOL whyyy— can you guess?

click to expand

🙂 Q vs Q?.... I don't know...that's why am asking didn't I?

Posted by M
When you two resumed contact it's debatable what kind of interest he had. Sometimes Caps can unintentionally send that vibe, yet sometimes it's still there so let's keep going.

Those other girls he mentioned, I don't think that was to pull anything... just him talking to you.

Now this special girl. Haha when we're cryptic like that doesn't it suck? So ok you just let him go on ahead and share without reacting too much. That's probably a good move on your part because it stops him from skewing to match your mood.

In the end it sounds like that experience with the girl kicked him in the gut, and it's a good idea to be there for him if he needs you as a friend. Otherwise you keeping your distance is a good idea. If he is still interested in you and you're over there so to speak, he'll drop whatever game he had (if any I don't see one really) and come get you. Caps can be dorks like that.

But don't pull away while keeping distance or he might get a vibe and do the same. Right now it sounds like there's mending going on here between you after that fight. He's consciously or unconsciously going to need to reestablish trust/stability here.

May I inquire where you want to be by the end of this?

i always thought with someone like him...and capricorns in general..they aren't usually the type to initiate contac with people they are not bothered about...as they have little time to focus on trivial people...or spend hours and hours on the phone for no reason..lol..sometimes we do talk a lot of rubbish...

well i might be completely wrong..but i am doubtful of the existence of this other girll....some said he was talking about me even... but i have no clue...i acted completely clueless anyway as usual...lol..so even if he was i didnt really give him anything to go by.... i was sooo showing that i didnt care about this girl...that i even was brave enough to say....it could work out with you two in the future who knows... lol
but actually in my head i was crying..hahah
i have actually been this way with him forever...probably for most of our friendshippp..he used to always try and find out whether i talk about him...maybe he was trying to work out what i really think of him...funny isnt it—
but i always do this...even with people i like... i act elusive/complacent/distant/uncaring. lol

since we have become friends again...i have tried to chang

change.. and be a lot more open...but he is starting to make it really difficult and putting doubt in my mind...when he mentions other girls...especially this particular... SPECIAL SOMEONE..lol

Im not sure of his game..or if he has one... i cant b a hundred per cent about anything..BUT... last year he did lie about getting married...turns out there was no girl....and he also told his friend to mention him and the girl (the stirrer who caused problems in the first place ) and say that ther were meeting up...

so he is not beyond game playing...trust me... this is why i am having second thoughts about his truthfulness

yes u r right..because i am trying to keep my distance...mostly because i am going to find it difficult to speak to him...especially after what he told me...and all these thoughts in my head..but i also figure he will pull away too...or be stubborn enough not to speak to me... and we will b back at square one...

i think the big problem with us both is that... we are quite similar...maybe y we have gotten nowhere..he is a little better than me.. actually he can b quite affectionate in what he says sometimes..so granted ys he is definetely better than me...but if he senses me being closed off with him... he will start to doubt me again too...

this is a really difficult one...maybe i am a

i just feel like he is either intentionally or unintentionally trying to make me break or something...so that i profess my undying love for him...but let me tell you..it will take a long time for that to happen again...

unless we start to argue again and i think hes leaving my life for good..thats when it all comes out haha

Posted by preciousvirgin

Posted by candy10

Posted by preciousvirgin
What is your sign Candy? am just curious...🙂

LOL whyyy— can you guess?

🙂 Q vs Q?.... I don't know...that's why am asking didn't I?

click to expand

judging by your user name... i would say the same starsign as you 😄

Posted by candy10

Posted by preciousvirgin

Posted by candy10

Posted by preciousvirgin
What is your sign Candy? am just curious...🙂

LOL whyyy— can you guess?

🙂 Q vs Q?.... I don't know...that's why am asking didn't I?

judging by your user name... i would say the same starsign as you 😄

click to expand

I got yah...Thank You..🙂

Posted by preciousvirgin

Posted by candy10

Posted by preciousvirgin

Posted by candy10

Posted by preciousvirgin
What is your sign Candy? am just curious...🙂

LOL whyyy— can you guess?

🙂 Q vs Q?.... I don't know...that's why am asking didn't I?

judging by your user name... i would say the same starsign as you 😄

I got yah...Thank You..🙂

click to expand

Does it sound familiar?? 😄.. any recognised personality characteristics?? i would really want you to share some opinions..lol

Do we really need to go far with 1 question?? When i said i got it, i don't need to say anything again... Just focus on your problem with your Caps... Bababooozzzz!!!!

Posted by M
"i always thought with someone like him...and capricorns in general..they aren't usually the type to initiate contac with people they are not bothered about...as they have little time to focus on trivial people...or spend hours and hours on the phone for no reason..lol..sometimes we do talk a lot of rubbish..."

Lolz but remember, we can have non trivial people in our lives without there being romance :p Just saying.

Who lies about getting married!? Red flag indeed. Ok so let's toss this "speshul someone" out the window. Sounds like he needs to earn your trust back. And so yes I'd agree with you that for whatever reason he is sidling back up to you. Pretty easy to flesh him out if you just keep on being you.

Or pull a complete 180 and pull it out. Ask what made him decide to start talking again, why is he telling you all this. He'll hesitate and but if you keep it natural but firm he'll slide one way or the other.

Also don't wait until the end of things to let it come out. Doll them out and talk about them where appropriate. As a Cap he has it in him to take you as you are, including talking about weird situations like this. If he can't, then should he be in your circles?

haha ok point taken..yes maybe u lot do speak to unimportant people to LOL.
i dont know how he expects me to show him he can trust me when...he is planting seeds of doubt in my head..
what planet does he think im on... im going to show i don;t like him talking about these other people...i think i got too much pride for that..so i really don't kno how to approach it..and also what if i pour out all my thoughts and feelings
and theres just that little one percent even that he was telling the truth about this SPESHUL someone lol...where would that leave me..just looking like an idiot..this is why i am so careful with everything i say..

i dont think us two have ever had a heart to heart...lollllll...this is how emotionally retarded we both r..we find it more comfortable to change the subject..or talk about something more light.

i dont kno if this was the right thing to do but...
i havnt spoken to him on the phone but...i messaged him right now.. saying..im sorry i hvnt gotten back to him and that i hope hes ok...i said i'v been busy...and did mention...i have been thinking and over analysing things... but what i did not specify..which should leave him to think what it could be

i just said im in the same mood that he was in twoo weeks ago... i,e, depressed
i bet he wont reply to that... and it will b ignored..
i would like it if he could care though... i just want him to suss me out so that i dont have to spell anything out to him

Sorry Candy, it seems to me like your trying to figure out if it's you he is referring to. I may be wrong, but that is what it strikes me as. And, honestly, if it was you you would know it, there would be no pussy footin' around it on his part. Caps are not known to take a back seat and wait, we actively go after what we want and in most instances succeed!

Posted by lildol
Sorry Candy, it seems to me like your trying to figure out if it's you he is referring to. I may be wrong, but that is what it strikes me as. And, honestly, if it was you you would know it, there would be no pussy footin' around it on his part. Caps are not known to take a back seat and wait, we actively go after what we want and in most instances succeed!

not really...because that was actually the last thought in my head... he is giving me mixed signals....
but a lot of people seem certain for some reason that he is talking about me...
but its just weird that the time he was talking about this girl he was depressed over..he said me and him should do something together!!!

who knows..he is confusing

at the end of the day... u either tell someone something properly or you don't... its like he mentioned the special someone...and then didnt want to say anymore.. then y mention it in the first place?? in that way i can't see it as a friend telling another friend about a girl..because he would have elaborated...
it felt like he was telling me just enough to get me thinking... and it worked

I don't share everything that goes on in my head. But, I am a go getter and nothing will stop me when I set my heart to it! I really can't imagine you're all that much different M 😉

And I will agree with the withdrawn, but go getters we are, to a fault at times I think!

Posted by M
"haha ok point taken..yes maybe u lot do speak to unimportant people to LOL."
They are important, just not who we're dating...good friend type dealy

I disagree lildol. They steer from behind the scenes, and the potential for that increases being so prone to pisces placements. IF enough time passed he would end up outing if it really was her. That whole thing though is murky and really can be tossed out for sake of issue.

You can't be afraid of that though Candy. No need to gush it all out at once and that's what I was saying earlier. I think you need to find the strength of your convictions and have a talk with this guy soon. As long as you don't switch gears halfway through it will be fine. If you can't have small doses of heart to hearts then what is this exactly? Some random guy you never talk to is what! :p

He has some shit to pull together, that's obvious. But if he wants to connect with you in some way you should be privy to his thoughts and be able to talk to him. Worry about the aftermath later, when it becomes relevant. Keep things simple.

i see...about the good friend type...😡 wt am i— to him..LOLLLL....
the thing is i think it has been wayyyyyyy tooo long that we have both been beating around the bush... and hiding and not explaining...and pretending everything is kool...
i can understand his confusion because i don't know many girls like me who act so unemotional.lol..i'm a tomboy on the outside and girly on the inside..but he probably thought this girl isnt interested because i acted soo unlike these typical girls he knows ..who flirt with him etc etc...

IF he thinks of me in that way.. i'm sure he is frustrated about it an doesn't know how to get it out there... in the last few weeks he has mentioned me and him meeting up..but in passing conversation... not like a will you go out with me? lol. and im sure iv said ye ok..and then that was that.. and then folllowed the conversation surrounding the girls..

and my definition of keeping things simple is not having heart to hearts 😄... i don't want to be the one to start one..and im sure he doesn't.. everytime some issue comes up..something remotely to do with us...it has been rare though..we both just go silent...well he goes silent..and im lik..errrr errrrr..yeee.... o....kkk...soooo lol

to be honest im not in a hurry to rush things... but he has told me he wants to have a wife

within a year or so..according to his plan... thats the way he wants it..so i don't really know how this is going to turn out...in fact i am quite wary of the future now..coz i can see that longing in him now to be with someone...he has mentioned it...
and i just listen without adding much further thought..

so... i dont even know where to start now

so obviously... u can understand the dilemma... not once have i even told him face to face..or while talking how i see him... and here he is thinking about how he wants to get in to a relationship..he didnt even say with me he just said generally...

Posted by M

Posted by amethyst2002
...man you're annoying.

😛

click to expand

i hate people who have nothing productive to say...

Posted by M
Right, o don't have a heart to heart? Own the solution :p Somebody needs to say something, and since you have to ask, you know something's up. IF you want to know what you are to him or even just getting more answers out of him, you gotta ask 🙂 Have to. He might duck or make stuff up or be weird but there's a start, and now you have more pieces to work with. You'lll get a better idea of wtf he wants or is thinking. By asking him or even having little talks here and there you are NOT committing yoursel to anything. So why so antsy about it? You said yourelf you want clarification...nobody here can clarify better than him lol if that makes sense.

baaaaaaaaaaaaasically... before we had our fight or whatever...he never once confused me...in fact i probably confused him..by being closed off.. and in fact he had no idea wtf i wanted.. and probably still doesnt actuallly..

him on the other hand...was all good in those two years... i cud tell he liked me...for definite..to what level who knows.. its only now hes acting really weird..

to be fair i think its him who wants or needs clarification..now more than me... coz he did randomly ask to meet up n stuff...im in no rush to b in anything with him..im fine the way things are... as long as some day in the future.maybe therrr cud b something!

but because of these girls and the SPECIAL SOMEONE... i dont kno anymore...if he cant even tell me about that why would he tell me where i stand..

i think for now everything and all my questions could be answered if i knew of the existence of this special someone lol
and you are right capricorns from my experience are somewhere in the middlle..they do not go all out...but they do show a little something if they like someone...

did i tell u i text him saying i was thinking over things etc..i didnt tell him what things..but i did say that was the reason i havnt called him back..lol... but off course no reply...

can i ask you another question?? basically if a cappy likes a girl..like proper likessss a girl.... could he easily move on to someone else?? if nothing was happening with them?? or wouldnt he always like here?? i thought cappys are supposed to be loyal lolll... what i think of him has actually not changed.... in nearly three years i still think of him in the same way...and this is regardless of whether we talk or dont talk...and even the not meeting up

for ages has not changed a single thing.... but do you think he could suddenly not think of me the same?

Posted by M
@Lildol I am the same. But that in no way says I will openly topple mountains and charge in while going after something. My resolve hardens, and I find my context. It is a myth that Capricorns will go all out all the time in an effort to pursue someone. That sounds like some sort of Leo/Aries mix to me. We aren't to shy by the end and that's what I said about letting him flesh himslef out. That takes time. Caps don't go around saying OMGZIwantzyou!

I personally am realistic in the rare instance I choose to pursue. I mean I sound batshit crazy too at first, but nothing I say can't be done provided the gal is on board. My advice to the OP is about getting rid of the murkiness. That's really meeting her more than halfway imo. Trying to help her get where she's going.

In reality though maybe she should say "my gut is acting up, feelings or no, eff that noie OMGZ go away" save a lot of headache. Depends on how much she's in this though, if she really wants to understand then she needs to get her butt in gear. It's on her to make things happen to get stuff moving.

u r right...i could definitely get things going...but i am holding back because..i don't want to say something i might regret because of the reaction i get...i would rather be safe than sorry..lol... i just feel lik the guy should get the ball rolling.... i do help him out now and again ... maybe he is trying to find out for sure about me...before he says anything tooo... i dont know...
all i know is that this cannot last forever i suppose..but as i said before..as he wants to get married.. quite sooon..it is more on him...lol..im not really in a rush

Posted by M
@Lildol I am the same. But that in no way says I will openly topple mountains and charge in while going after something. My resolve hardens, and I find my context. It is a myth that Capricorns will go all out all the time in an effort to pursue someone. That sounds like some sort of Leo/Aries mix to me. We aren't to shy by the end and that's what I said about letting him flesh himslef out. That takes time. Caps don't go around saying OMGZIwantzyou!

I personally am realistic in the rare instance I choose to pursue. I mean I sound batshit crazy too at first, but nothing I say can't be done provided the gal is on board. My advice to the OP is about getting rid of the murkiness. That's really meeting her more than halfway imo. Trying to help her get where she's going.

In reality though maybe she should say "my gut is acting up, feelings or no, eff that noie OMGZ go away" save a lot of headache. Depends on how much she's in this though, if she really wants to understand then she needs to get her butt in gear. It's on her to make things happen to get stuff moving.

ill tell you thought esomething he did say once upon a time..although this was about a year ago but its still stuck in my mind...

he sent me a text...and in the text... he explained that he is the type of guy to hide all the stuff inside of him...all the craziness... he also said every single moment... he is wishing i was with him.... and to this day i havnt forgotten...
there was a lot more in that text..but can someone move on from feeling this way?? i was completely surrpsied it came out of nowhere as well... and since then he hasnt ever said anything to that extent again... so maybe he is still hiding it all!! it was so shocking because he is so casual in conversation and just speaks to me on a friendly level..and then to come out with that...

Posted by M
Ball's in your court, nothing more to it. You have your knowns, and your unknowns. Either start working somewhere, or abandon it. This is not one of those things where you want to sit around hoping something gives. If you do, you will regret it, because then it's moving without regard to you. Your opportunity to give your input and find your answers (if you still don't have them) is about to disappear. I think your trepidation while initially expected has cemented your course. Save yourself the headache and walk away. You clearly have no desire to get to the bottom and own the future. SO why think on it any more. Leave him to his own devices.

You have a plethora of options. Yet all you have been implying is you intend to do nothing and *fingers crossed* SOMETHING will happen (you don't even know or want to define what).

It's ok to not know or feel intimidated. If you were supposed to have the answers you wouldn't need to be here. But this isn't my plight, it's yours. You want clarity and insight...maybe a course of action. You have to start generating ideas here that will eventually blossom into actions. Does that make sense? I feel like despite my heavy involvement I'm coming off crazy or lost in translation.

LOL no what you're saying makes a lot of sense ...so not crazy at all.
i think mostly all this time..i have been so used to us talking evry other week or so as normal and as friends that i have rarely considered the future..because probably im waiting on him to do or say something... or that all that stuff will come up later and we can deal with it then...
i hardly considered that on his side..he could move on at any time if he wanted to..because as u say nothingss concret with us.. i think leaving him to his own devices might mean not hearing from him again lol...because without contact from me he would hardly try either..i kno it will deffo save me headache but for some reason i feel like everything is too far gone for me to just stop talking to him now. :s :s

Posted by M
Bottom line is no matter what anyone says or does (including him) you will decide and act based on what you come up with. I get that you're looking for things that maybe people here would see that you missed. But the more you've shared the more I think the issue here is twofold.

1) He's got some serious things that need to be straightened out
2) You're already behind, and can't work on something with him until you solve these inner blocks of yours. If you can't center yourself how will you hope to sort this out? This is why aybe it would be best to just cut it all away.

No idea if you've posted your chart here in your earlier threads. Maybe that has some insight.

1. what things are we talking about?
2. yes i have to get rid of the inner blocks...unless this is gonna b my personality forever lol

my sun sign is virgo
and my moon sign is scorpio...
loll...any insights—

all i know for sure is... i find it difficult when he's in my life...and even more so when he isnt.. im stuck either way

Posted by M
Then by all means take some time to collect yourself! Just don't expect things to magically become clear, once you're good it's time to move :p

I was talking things like his sketchiness. Or the fact he has trouble being too open. The usual retarded Capricorn stuff 😛 It can't be tackled at the same time as you aligning your own stuff.

Virgo with a scorp moon? I meant the other goods too: mercury, venus, mars. And lilith. Those work together to move you as a human person lolz. I will say the scorp moon tends to focus more on relationships regarding self. It explains you checking your emotions and potentially placing restrictions on the both of you. That moon has a lot of emotional stuff going on inside BUT it doesn't want to let them out. Keeps itself and the potential partner pent down.

hmmm i hav the same retardedness going on then really dont i..lol...maybe he wud becum more open once i become open with stuff lik tht...which will take sum time...haha...
i think us two people as a combination is a nightmare. hahaha..i think we both just make things tooo complicated. by being the way we r...whereas people of others signs would probably have had babies by now or something..

mercury = virgo
venus= virgo
mars = virgo
wts the lilith?? but basically i am a complete virgo..with a little bit of scorpio.

what u said about scorpio moon..apparently they are intensely emotional on the inside..hmmm...but are very good at hiding it..yep thats me i think

Posted by M

Posted by candy10
all i know for sure is... i find it difficult when he's in my life...and even more so when he isnt.. im stuck either way

Hm, maybe start thinking how things could settle where his influence isn't so tremendous...any thoughts there?

click to expand

thats a hard one.. i think whatever happens..his influence will have quite an impact on me!! for sure!!
hv u any ideas? lol
i have a bad feeling now that..the way i am being now..i.e distant from him by not calling him... it will only get us bk 2 where we started... i dont think he will enjoy the fact that i am avoiding him.. lol
especially now that iv pointed it out too by text...

so i suppose i hv to look forward to a long period of blanking from him too..sigh... and an even longer period of time where im just sitting and analysing his recent behaviour... fun times!

Posted by M
"maybe he wud becum more open once i become open with stuff lik tht...which will take sum time...haha..."

And that's a plan!
A start!
Something :p

You can try it out and see what happens. And yes, anything you start will take time. Just keep in mind your influence over things.

lol it is a start...but i would have no clue where to start... like what the hell i would say..obv only i should know this... but i dont!!!

open in what aspect.. this wil require some thought! :/
my friend sayz i should ask him out... maybe next millenium that would happen lol..or if i was a different person 😄

Posted by M

Posted by candy10

Posted by M

Posted by candy10
all i know for sure is... i find it difficult when he's in my life...and even more so when he isnt.. im stuck either way

Hm, maybe start thinking how things could settle where his influence isn't so tremendous...any thoughts there?

thats a hard one.. i think whatever happens..his influence will have quite an impact on me!! for sure!!
hv u any ideas? lol
i have a bad feeling now that..the way i am being now..i.e distant from him by not calling him... it will only get us bk 2 where we started... i dont think he will enjoy the fact that i am avoiding him.. lol
especially now that iv pointed it out too by text...

so i suppose i hv to look forward to a long period of blanking from him too..sigh... and an even longer period of time where im just sitting and analysing his recent behaviour... fun times!

*swats with a rolled up newspaper* No :p

That's nihilistic thinking miss, and counterproductive to your efforts. It doesn't matter what he will njoy, it's about you right now 🙂 Virgo motto is "I serve" but not today. The blanking and avoiding...these are things you have direct control over, don't make them sound like some resigned fate.

My ideas simply entail you sitting down with yourself and asking:

"what do I want"
"where do I want to be
"what will I need to do to get there"

Keeping it very simple and clear cut for yourself until you've worked enough out to comfortably act on it. You can add the personal touches for him later.

click to expand

haahah noooooooooooo. * runs away and cries*
ok its all about me 🙂... i kno i could call him now if i wanted even.. but there is something stopping me.. to be honest... i think its this special person talk..that has put me right off talking to him for now because it did not make me feel good in any way!!!
so i cant talk to him right now as my usual bubbly self..when all this is in my head...
now those questions look simple but the reality is.. even once i figure the answers out... the next step would be a thousand times more challenging!!!
he is sounding like a project right now lol..
i think if he was not the way h

he is..i might find it more comfortable opening up..but because he is just as challenged in that way... i would find it almost impossible to do or say anything.. *cries*

Posted by M
Wow, that's a lot of virgo :p
Lilith is like your dark moon. It should be listed near the end of your chart but it's ok. Don't really need it.
I'm no expert on Virgos (despite my work being 90% of them :p) Maybe ask around here about yourself. Try looking into how virgo affects each aspect and you'll get a better sense of how you're coming off and how you tick. Astrology may just be potential, but there you go.

Complexity is never too much fun when it comes to this.
May I ask if you've figured out your houses? Or his chart/houses? I'm not looking to analyze it but perhaps there are some obvious trouble spots. If so then knowing will help figure out how to overcome them.

well i don't know his birth time..so i suppose a lot would b missing there... but what i know so far is

sun : capricorn
moon: sagittarius
mercury : aquarius
venus : aquarius

right... action first then..lol

alright if anything actually happens or is said.. i will post some more.. ahhaa

btw.. me and him have the same liliths..
lilith sign is leo!!!!

ooooooo leo lillith sign = ego...and deep down we want to shine haha...and unconsciously try and be the centre of attention..well to be fair i have noticed that with him. LOL not as much me.. but i have at times found him to be really self centred... and only talks about himself etc.. 😄

Posted by M

Posted by candy10
ooooooo leo lillith sign = ego...and deep down we want to shine haha...and unconsciously try and be the centre of attention..well to be fair i have noticed that with him. LOL not as much me.. but i have at times found him to be really self centred... and only talks about himself etc.. 😄

Right. Maybe it seems more prominent in him due to sun/moon duo.

Don't fret over action either. Jump in and he'll follow sooner or later. Do you like ice cream? Try starting by talking about your favorite flavors and just jump right in to whatever you want to talk about.

click to expand

LOL.. are you serious?? or did i not get that... ice cream flavours? hahah
ok the truth is... i dont wanna be second choice/backup... this is why i really want to find out what he meant about the special someone..thats all it really was...and if there was someone else...and because she is no longer around and he is speaking to me now ... i wont have that lol...

but if he really does like me and he is just hiding behind this other girl to find out more about what i think of him... then i will accept it! :/

Posted by M
So start there then. You're just sitting here talking ice cream with me, when you could be finding out all kinds of things from him 🙂

No trick to it. You don't have to be sure of yourself or know everything in advance. Go do some field work.

i think for two people who have not even admitted the obvious in two and a half years..lol... it would be a bit too much to start asking him about all that stuf... plus.. he's already told me he does not want to elaborate or go in to it... so i have to find out by asking him clever little questions one by one that can catch him out...

i dont kno lik talking about his exes...lol.... any ideas—? to find out if this other person did exist....

ok points noted... thanks a lot for your help!! watch out for any updates 😄... or if u dont hear anything... its all gone downhill and we are probably drifting apart!

UPDATE : so he told me about the special someone... and i said ill call you tomorrow..but i didnt...
i call back two weeks later.. in that time i did message saying i have been thinking and analysing about things ( hint the special someone and who he was talking about, trying to figure it out )...

and i also messaged normally sayin i hope everythings ok...but i didnt call him...he didnt reply to any of my messages...

and i called..and he has not got back to me yet :O... it seems like he is ignoring me now...
why—— since we got back in to contact... the maximum time it takes for him to get back to me is one day... and now its been at least a few days

Amethyst...

"Be kinder than neccessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle"

Didja ever think that Candy really likes this guy and is confused about how to go about handling it? Try to "help" her...talk to her like she's a friend and someone you like....not so condescending please!!
Heck I wanna hug her...
Hugs for you Candy!

Posted by amethyst2002
You're playing games. That's why he's ignoring you.

Awesome you raised something I want to discuss! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 😛

you know how 6 of the starsigns are feminine and 6 are masculine. It feels to me like this is what happens when masculine and feminine meet.

The feminine aims to please and is not true to herself..she is always compromising, putting the guy on a pedestal saying its all about you and what you want. So she is like an actress taking on roles, changing costumes, adapting, manouvering. like someone with multiple personality disorder constantly changing

The male says this is who I am and if you dont like it ..tough. Males are always doing a male bonding ritual where they establish the key word RESPECT. They develop respect and show respect as equals. This is why they are good drivers because they are respecting the other drivers and doing road ettiquette. They will not change or compromise to kiss someones arse. They see arse kissing as giving up your identity, losing power, wimpish, cowardice, weakness. If you dont demand respect you dont deserve it. All men are equal, no pedestals.

So put these 2 together and what do you have? A male who sees a female as false hyprocrite playing mind games who craves someone who is straightforward and upfront. And a female frustrated at her failure to please her partner/friend since that is her true enjoyment she wishes to savour. Or worse a male who tramples all over the woman and a woman who gives up her loving intentions because they are rewarded with aggression. The woman then turns into a bitter character out for revenge against the male population. The man turns into a sexually frustrated loner fed up of the complexities of the female trying to find a way to be solitary.

So whats the answer? For male starsigns to date male starsigns and female date female?

Just thought this comment really brings out this point!

Posted by sunshine222
Amethyst...

"Be kinder than neccessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle"

Didja ever think that Candy really likes this guy and is confused about how to go about handling it? Try to "help" her...talk to her like she's a friend and someone you like....not so condescending please!!
Heck I wanna hug her...
Hugs for you Candy!

thanks 😄.. Hugs back to you too !!! im glad that someone has finally outlined what i tend to see from a lot of people on these threads... a really condescending/pessimistic manner of responding.. without any sympathy/empathy whatsoever!!

its weird that amethyst goes and says that im the one playing games.... and that she/he does not understand the apparently childish behaviour i seem to be displaying... well did she consider that the reason why i stopped talking to him for two weeks is because i was upset over him talking about this special someone, following a lot of talk around other numerous pretty girls...who he seems to be surrounded by!!!!! and im the one playing mind games— i was actually annoyed/upset/confused about where this other girl seemed to come in to it... in the weeks i did not speak to him i was by myself trying to figure it out...thats not me playing mind games...my behaviour was as a consequence of his childish behaviour!!!!!

could you quote this back to amethyst lol..because i blocked her messages 😄

Posted by michellemabelle

Posted by amethyst2002
You're playing games. That's why he's ignoring you.

Awesome you raised something I want to discuss! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 😛

you know how 6 of the starsigns are feminine and 6 are masculine. It feels to me like this is what happens when masculine and feminine meet.

The feminine aims to please and is not true to herself..she is always compromising, putting the guy on a pedestal saying its all about you and what you want. So she is like an actress taking on roles, changing costumes, adapting, manouvering. like someone with multiple personality disorder constantly changing

The male says this is who I am and if you dont like it ..tough. Males are always doing a male bonding ritual where they establish the key word RESPECT. They develop respect and show respect as equals. This is why they are good drivers because they are respecting the other drivers and doing road ettiquette. They will not change or compromise to kiss someones arse. They see arse kissing as giving up your identity, losing power, wimpish, cowardice, weakness. If you dont demand respect you dont deserve it. All men are equal, no pedestals.






So put these 2 together and what do you have? A male who sees a female as false hyprocrite playing mind games who craves someone who is straightforward and upfront. And a female frustrated at her failure to please her partner/friend since that is her true enjoyment she wishes to savour. Or worse a male who tramples all over the woman and a woman who gives up her loving intentions because they are rewarded with aggression. The woman then turns into a bitter character out for revenge against the male population. The man turns into a sexually frustrated loner fed up of the complexities of the female trying to find a way to be solitary.

So whats the answer? For male starsigns to date male starsigns and female date female?

Just thought this comment really brings out this point!

click to expand

ITS interesting what you are saying... however.... capricorn is a feminine sign lol...and virgo is also feminine so your theory that feminine and feminine should go together means that we should be getting along!!!