I have a problem, possibly?

At this point, when people bitch/whine/etc about anything, my mind subconsciously reduces them to a child.
Then oddly I have more patience for said person and their problem. Naturally I want to learn from the problem, resolve it, get over it and move on, but I know I can't rush them. So after letting throw their tantrum, I just remind them of the power they have in the situation, point out options they have, then say it's up to them to choose and that they can talk it out with other people to feel more secure about a choice they make.

Sounds like a lot of effort, but honestly this is nothing to hearing them endlessly whine about the poor life choices made, the fact people couldn't tread their minds about what they actually wanted or whatever else.

I believe I'll have to hide this new part of myself, I know people will feel awful that I don't very them as a capable adult 24/7 that is my equal/superior.
I am curious if any water signs will be able to subconsciously pick up the fact I'm borderline infantilizing people.

Posted by Vixen2
coping methods...the same thing I do when dealing with adult sick people.

The fact it works so well doesn't make it any easier to look at it critically and detached.
Also you work with the sick? Bless your heart, people like you make the world's of many others more bearable thanks to your kindness/compassion.

Do good things and good things happen..
Most of the time.

if I did what you did, I wouldn't have failed miserably with my responses couple weeks ago to my friend who has been suffering depression (mainly #4 & #6 on this article http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/08/9-best-ways-to-support-someone-with-depression/

i used to have more patience and sympathy but after couple years of hearing the whining, with my lack of sleep (ave 5 hours these days), my sag rising told what was in my mind 😢 she complained again about her parents who were trying to encourage her to just any guy for a relationship so she would have someone else to emotionally reply on instead of them. I basically said your parents have their own relationship issues (they do based on what she told me). they probably need their own therapist so you cannot use them as your therapist. everyone enjoys positive and happy encounters, don't them?

😢

since then, she has been coming to me with only positive stuff but this is making me worried

Posted by iCloud9
if I did what you did, I wouldn't have failed miserably with my responses couple weeks ago to my friend who has been suffering depression (mainly #4 & #6 on this article http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/08/9-best-ways-to-support-someone-with-depression/

i used to have more patience and sympathy but after couple years of hearing the whining, with my lack of sleep (ave 5 hours these days), my sag rising told what was in my mind 😢 she complained again about her parents who were trying to encourage her to just any guy for a relationship so she would have someone else to emotionally reply on instead of them. I basically said your parents have their own relationship issues (they do based on what she told me). they probably need their own therapist so you cannot use them as your therapist. everyone enjoys positive and happy encounters, don't them?

😢

since then, she has been coming to me with only positive stuff but this is making me worried

Can that person afford a consoler or therapists?
Ask them, despite how scary or uncomfortable it can feel, explore their pain. What triggers their feelings of depression, hopelessness, etc.
Write them down and then while they try to find someone help them sort out and cop with their pain, try a few tricks to help ease the pain of their condition themselves.

- Exercise, even simple walking around your block along every day can do some good.
- Look at their diet, if they can afford fish oil, try that. If they're worried, they can ask their primacy care physician if they can take it and what if any possible side effects their are. (I don't know their current health, so I took the assumption that they were perfectly healthy, aside from the depressive mood/illness)
-Hang out with people, if you can muster up the energy. If not, try volunteer work, you help people, get out and about and that builds up your sense of self-worth overtime.

-Finally, tell them that when they're ready, they can seek out a professional if they want. No one can force them to do anything, ultimately if they want to stay in a place of familiar pain or try the unknown and see what can happen, it can only happen by their own power.

she has money but I cannot force her to see a therapist. it has been brought up a few times and she talks about it. she eats healthy and do yoga. her mother has emotional issue also. too many dating failure messed her up a bit.

many of her friends and herself have been doing whatever they can to help so i'm not asking for advice. i'm just feeling bad that i failed to be a supporting friend.

you are a very sweet person. sorry i didn't mean to sound like i dismissed your suggestions when i said i'm not asking for advice. your suggests are good. she has been doing those.

Posted by iCloud9
you are a very sweet person. sorry i didn't mean to sound like i dismissed your suggestions when i said i'm not asking for advice. your suggests are good. she has been doing those.

Whoops, I actually didn't see that part.
Well I hope your friend can recover and that her support system can be strong for her during the process.
Good luck.