Just finding out Cap is friends with ex wife

Posted by aries415
Last Sunday I went to see my Caps new project a house that he is working on. He seemed surprised when I pulled up. He seemed busy so I thought maybe i should go, when a truck pulls up and this wildebeest gets out. Since a friend was helping him I thought the creature belonged to him but the look on my Cap like "oh $ &@t" and he gave me a look then he said wait I will be right back. I watched as he walked up to her and the fire started shooting out of my ears! I walked out of the house and I put my hands on my hips, she looked at me then looked at him. If she stayed just a second longer it would have gotten really really ugly! I started on him before she drove off, yelling at him about who the hell was that monster! He tells me that is just my ex wife wanting to see my new project..... I lost it ex wife, just your ex wife are you kidding me!? She is not his sons mother they do not have children together so why is she coming to see you? He told me a few times throughout our relationship that she wants him back. I went off on him I could no longer control it. He never mentioned that they still talk. He has been pleading nothing is there believe me and that i owe him an apology. Of course he doesn't want to lose me, she is a hot mess! And he tells me that there is no need for me to be in close vicinity of my ex husband the father of my three kids but you are inviting your wretched ex wife to see your work?! I don't know if I can trust him anymore... This has dampened my feelings for him. All week arguing with him that he must love her. He says please dont say that because it is not true. After he told me how they ended there is no way that they should stay in contact.??

LMao at wilderbeast but why do have to keep going back to how bad she looks? Does it make you feel better that you have one up on her in the looks dept? Her looks have nothing to do with why your s/o withheld info from you, and your lover can't think she is that becasue he is still seeing her. YOu aren't a better woman than her because of your looks and she didnt do anything to you.

You're that insecure, huh? Going totally banshee on him because an ex showed up? Come on. Grow up and get a grip.

The only thing I can justify is being irked if he expects you not to bother with your ex but man, he sure can. Cap guys can be hypocritical idiots with serious double standards. To that, you have every right to be miffed, but to the extent that you blew up screams the obvious about how insecure you are. Standing on the front porch and glaring? Really?

Tell him he sucks for his double standards, but turning into a Jerry Springer guest when someone else with estrogen shows up is a little ridiculous. Again, I must point out your age. Act like it. You could have handled that with much more class and tact.

LOL@Wildebeast, wow

You have to be SECURE. You are making his ex wife look very attractive right about now with all of the whining, bitching and nagging him about how he feels for SOMEONE ELSE, it's like a big ole red neon sign saying "SHE'S BETTER THAN ME" "I'M NOT ENOUGH" and unfortunately for you that kind of behavior can push a man into another woman's arms real fast, he'll definitely want to be with the woman that is peaceful and drama free. Wildebeast is winning.

Accept it's over between them, stop bitching about ANOTHER WOMAN, be secure, trust him or leave the guy alone, I mean would you want someone questioning you--badgering you about your ex as if you're in some kind of inquisition tribunal. As for your own boundaries regarding your kids father, set a boundary and stick with it, let him know your kids relationship with their father is important to you and although you won't go out on dates with your ex, you've set up strict boundaries regarding how you interact with him, the bottom line is he's going to be in your kids life and that's THAT, it's FINAL, discussion over, any feeling he has about it is his problem not yours.

If you feel he's cheating as in physical, mental, emotional or all of the above then RAISE YOUR STANDARDS and LEAVE, you don't have to be the bad guy in all of this, stop stressing yourself out, you are killing the growth of the relationship, it's sure to end if you keep up the little girl stomp her feet temper tantrum type behavior, you're better than that, you can be better than that.

Clearly he's not ready to be committed in the way you want him to be, why fuss and cuss about that, it is what it is, accept it, live with it and if you can't live with it then move on.

I don't think her reaction was that bad. My Cap friend put his fiance through something similar and equally messy. If you trust someone you are going to feel a certain way when that trust is betrayed. If she wanted to let it out then and there more power to her.

Knowing what I know about some of the males I can't say this situation was an innocent one. If it was, you would know they were still friends. It would also be no problems for him to run it by you that she was coming. If it was innocent he wouldn't have had the "oh $ % $ #" look on his face. It was a mess and he knew it the moment she pulled up. This is not a situation where you should have been in the dark. If the tables were turned you would get it through silent treatment, a cutoff, disappearance etc. You have a right to be upset.

Okay I'm wrong but can't you see how deranged you're being over this whole thing. If you feel he's totally committed to you then why behave like a 2 year old over the "wilderbeast" coming to see his properties. How about introducing yourself first, communicating and then making a fair judgement, you just went all ham before understanding what was going on.

As for his say about you and other men, I think you've allowed him to control you and now you're feeling out of control because you've allowed yourself to lean completely on him for emotional support, you've grown dependent on him & feel threatened by this woman, this isn't healthy behavior and maybe you should start making it clear that you are not going to put up with his one sided antics, he either trust you or he doesn't but clearly there is a lack of trust on both your parts or he wouldn't have felt the need to play your controlling daddy as if he can't trust that you are grown enough to keep other males at bay, something isn't adding up with this relationship. Typically when 2 people have fully committed themselves to one another the woman feels secure but you don't appear to be secure and that in itself tells the TRUTH about what's going on between the 2 of you.

The ex could have just showed up, she could be following him, she may have been in the neighborhood and decided to stop by, she may still be in love with him but she's an ex for a reason, try not to make assumptions about this situation, you're not his wife so chill out. If there is something going on the truth shall prevail, no need to go all rambo on the guy.

Also 2 ex wives under his belt and still hasn't figured out how to behave in a committed relationship, IMO this pattern is indicative of his PAST behavior with his ex wives. He's trouble. He most likely has a lot of great qualities, Alpha males are very attractive to other women & many fall short in the woman department, too much testosterone.

Good luck

He probably didn't invite her but if they don't really talk and dont get along, he would've had a puzzled look on his face that read *Why are you here?* not *Oh # $ #✨ It just doesn't add up and our two or three facial expressions we have are usually clear. They've been mending something in some way, I personally believe.

I refuse to give him a pass because of her reaction.

Posted by aries415

Posted by lnana04
He probably didn't invite her but if they don't really talk and dont get along, he would've had a puzzled look on his face that read *Why are you here?* not *Oh # $ #✨ It just doesn't add up and our two or three facial expressions we have are usually clear. They've been mending something in some way, I personally believe.

I refuse to give him a pass because of her reaction.

There is no pass, he is almost a non motherf...... Factor if he doesn't prove otherwise like he claims. He asked how can he prove, I told him to invite her over introduce me to her as his woman. Just like he got on my case about making it known to my ex and my children that we were together, he will do the same or he will kick rocks!

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See, this is the attitude I like. His behind is on the line as it should be. Good that you are not letting him get away with anything he wouldn't let you get away with. I can just picture his reaction if this happened to him smh. You wouldn't be able to live it down.

@ElusiveSoul, I have some stories too. Stories that would make you shake your head. I love Cappie males, from a distance lol jk, but not all of them are for everybody. Many just want to do whatever it is they want to do, and that type isn't long-term relationship material. Doesn't matter their other good qualities. Just know who you're dealing with is all I can say, and if its too hard to figure out then let it go is what im learning. That applies to all guys really.

If it were me, Id a put a big ass smile on my face, walk over to her and say "Hey!", shook her hand and made her my new bff.

Be a class act, no matter how badly you felt.

I guess the fact that she mentioned this same man suggested that she not be near her ex husband is being glossed over.

Posted by size zero superhero
^I honestly missed that significant detail.

Lol, yeah, that can also be a reason why she was so pissed. In typical fashion, the law was laid on what he didn't like, wouldnt tolerate etc.,but yet he's involved in the same thing.

Regardless, she still behaved like a jack ass.

Again, more tact could have been involved.

He's still a dick for setting a double standard in usual Cap fashion "you can't but I can!"

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by lnana04

Posted by size zero superhero
^I honestly missed that significant detail.

Lol, yeah, that can also be a reason why she was so pissed. In typical fashion, the law was laid on what he didn't like, wouldnt tolerate etc.,but yet he's involved in the same thing.

A great reason to have a very pointed, very educational discussion with the guy - in Private.

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But CP, in private is how "you" would handle the situation and how "you" would prefer your lady to handle it. Everyone has a style and preference. Personally, I wouldn't have yelled because that's not me, but I would have discussed it with him right then and there. Why? Because I would've done exactly what I felt at the moment and I personally don't like to sit on certain emotions. Dont see the point of it. That's how I would handle it, and she did it her way.

Now if she posted the story then said he was giving her the silent treatment we would know why, but that's not the case. Its up to her to decide how to act/react and up to him to decide what behavior he can/cannot deal with. We can make suggestions of course but telling her when/how to handle her situation is not our place imho.

Hot headed Aries...*smh*

I would have also introduced myself and been friendly to her. It could go either way, friends or reconciliation. You can't figure out which until you have more information and can determine body language, decipher comments, etc. Jumping to conclusions won't give you that information. I would have asked him about it later.

They've already had communicaiton issues - this is just another one.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by cowpuncher
You were chewing this guy out in public? In front of these people and his neighbors——??

THIS Capricorn would dump your ass so hard and fast you'd bounce off the pavement. That's a 1 strike you are OUT offense.

Don't anybody try to justify it either, I don't even need to read the rest of it and hear what he was doing, how he was at fault... whatever. IF that's so, you air your dirty laundry in private, NOT in front of an audience in his neighborhood outdoors. If you do otherwise? Make it your parting shot... because you are GONE on the first offense with that one.

That poor bastard.

+1

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+2

Sounds like the lid on a cheap air tight bottle with wtf insides blew off.

In other words folks theres grown ups then kids people will have a 1000 opinions on how each should operate but pulling your kid over to the side to smack the snot out of him can be done adult wise to. Hopefully, as usual some folks operate like kids sometimes, never know these days this genaration is full of kids with kids. Another topic but the point stands thru age differences simply because people dont act there age.