Moonfal
@Moonfal
12 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 49 · Topics: 2
Just started dating a Capricorn man!
Moonfal.
Maybe the pleading, painful look in his eyes reflected the regret to have met such a dedicated woman at the wrong time in his life. If he is in his early twenties, he may want to play the field for a while.
I met my first Capri when we were both 19 and it was an exciting, on-off relationship stretching over several years. During this time, he also dated another girl (on-off), whereas I met my husband (now my ex). The Capri married in his early thirties to a strong willed woman who chased the hell out of him.
I am a Pisces like you. Astrologers say that a Pisces-Capricorn relationship has a good chance to last, because Capri makes Pisces feel safe and secure. I would say that I never felt anything like that with my Capri. He kept me at arm??s length and on my toes the whole time and yet I loved him.
SirB
I??ve red with interest some of your recent postings. Two different girls, an Aqua and a Pisces, appear to have caught your attention. I hope to hear more about your love life. The reason I'm so nosy, is because I recently started dating a Capri (a mature one, this time :-)). I did not hold back from showing my enthusiasm and singing him praises. During our third date, he mentioned that he was also dating an Aqua and is not ready to go exclusive.
SirB, this doesn't mean I don't wish you all the best with your Aqua. At the same time, it feels good to hear a Capricorn talking about Pisces, since I have no idea what my Capri thinks about me. I might not be as exciting and sociable as an Aqua.
Maybe the pleading, painful look in his eyes reflected the regret to have met such a dedicated woman at the wrong time in his life. If he is in his early twenties, he may want to play the field for a while.
I met my first Capri when we were both 19 and it was an exciting, on-off relationship stretching over several years. During this time, he also dated another girl (on-off), whereas I met my husband (now my ex). The Capri married in his early thirties to a strong willed woman who chased the hell out of him.
I am a Pisces like you. Astrologers say that a Pisces-Capricorn relationship has a good chance to last, because Capri makes Pisces feel safe and secure. I would say that I never felt anything like that with my Capri. He kept me at arm??s length and on my toes the whole time and yet I loved him.
SirB
I??ve red with interest some of your recent postings. Two different girls, an Aqua and a Pisces, appear to have caught your attention. I hope to hear more about your love life. The reason I'm so nosy, is because I recently started dating a Capri (a mature one, this time :-)). I did not hold back from showing my enthusiasm and singing him praises. During our third date, he mentioned that he was also dating an Aqua and is not ready to go exclusive.
SirB, this doesn't mean I don't wish you all the best with your Aqua. At the same time, it feels good to hear a Capricorn talking about Pisces, since I have no idea what my Capri thinks about me. I might not be as exciting and sociable as an Aqua.
I agree with Capgirl!
Also, no, you are not going to naturally trust everyone, but tests are not cool imo. After getting to know someone why would there occasionally be a need to test unless somewhere in your mind you have doubts about that person being trustworthy.
You cant think its cool to be tested all the time by someone who is doubting you or flat out doesnt trust you yet.
Also, no, you are not going to naturally trust everyone, but tests are not cool imo. After getting to know someone why would there occasionally be a need to test unless somewhere in your mind you have doubts about that person being trustworthy.
You cant think its cool to be tested all the time by someone who is doubting you or flat out doesnt trust you yet.
l, the Cap ladies will have a different...more "suspicious-of-his-motives-so-you-better-dump-him"...take on your Capricorn lover's character. I agree with SirB; the Mer-Goat females & males are quite different from each other, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
However, something that you wrote makes me think there's more to your lover than meets the eye. This:
Posted by Moonfal
... he gave me this look: he looked into my eyes (which he Normally seems to have trouble with) and to me it felt like he was pleading me for something... He looked almost pained.
I think this says it all. It's almost as if he's waiting so long for you to pull the REAL him out. "Why won't you??!!" --- scream his eyes.
I sense he's waiting for you to do..something. Despite how you really feel about him, you haven't actually TOLD him have you?
If I'm patient and he decides to open up to me will he be less self centered, or will he always be this way? I'm too selfless to deal with it for a lifetime.click to expand
Heck, if anyone can temper & change a Capricorn male, it's a Pisces female. I've seen many a Capricorn bad boy magically (but slowly) transform into a prince by the legendary patience & loving nature of you Pisces females. I'm a big supporter of the Capricorn Male+Pisces Female coupling 'cos I've seen it very often & they're beautiful to look at. This pairing always make me feel jealous 'cos they look SOOOOO happy with each other.
Look, it's only been a MONTH. Caps take longer than that to REALLY be into someone. It's not like you've been together for years right? Give it time. Water & Earth signs are NOT like Fire & Air signs. They don't wear their hearts on their sleeves & declare undying love after only a few dates. I sense this Cap of yours is actually testing you; to see if you'll tolerate his BS & more importantly, to see if you'll be there for him for the long haul.
Posted by Moonfal
He never invites me over, I have to invite myself. He never texts me first, I text him. He never takes me out, yet blew nearly $ 400 (on himself) when we went shopping together for ourbfourth date. I feel like he's Taking advantage of me, even though I can realize it's his nature to be cautious.
I don't know how to say this nicely, so I'm just going to offer some hardcore "mom" advice (you're the same age as my daughter, by the way).
Read what you wrote. He is not that into you. It has absolutely nothing to do with him being cautious.
My advice is to stop trying. Stop chasing. Stop inviting yourself over. Stop initiating contact. Be mysterious. Be busy. Live a full social life. If he likes you, HE will chase YOU!!! Men do not like women who are easily available to them. Men want to chase and earn what they have. As it is now, you're giving him nothing to work for - YOU'RE doing all the work. MAKE him EARN time with YOU!
If he is not willing to earn YOU, then he's not worth your time.
Hope you take this constructively, because that's how it is meant. Hugs to you!
(My dad is Scorpio (water sign like me 🙂 and has had a hard time with a cap woman playing games and Taking advantage of him for 6 years now, and they are in their 50s and 60s! When I told him about this new guy being a cap he pretty much said RUN! Haha.)
Heh, your Dad knows only too well that a Cap man is a lot like him. They both know each other's tricks & mind games. They say a Capricorn is just another Scorpio in a suit; or a Scorpio is just another Capricorn without the suit 😛
Oh, & try not to get the two of them to meet. Your Dad, being a Scorpio, is naturally protective of his Pisces daughter. And knowing that a Cap is a lot like himself, he's only going to to "test/prod/provoke" your Capricorn lover to see if "he's good enough" for you 🙂
Posted by 88NNPISCES
She has only dated him for just one month. sheehhhh and everyone is already analyzing a man with so little.
----are all of you being serious? what mature man would start off so fast with a woman in just one month? unless he is too clingy.
I personally would not like a clingy guy, who is all over me by text, or calls, and constantly taking up my time. I like a strong man who takes his time to decide and who wants to take the lead. needyness is kind of ugly.
Yes, we are being serious!
She has been dating him for one month. But is HE dating HER?
Don't you think he should be persuing her more? Making SOME kind of effort? It's not about starting off fast, it's about showing interest. The man needs to be the one taking initiative, especially at this stage.
Maybe this is the difference between cap women and women of other signs. Most of the cap women wouldn't tolerate this behavior in a man.
Sorry to break it to you Moonfal but a month is not nearly long enough to "crack the code" when it comes to a Cap man. They take a very very loooong time to give their hearts to anyone completely that isn't family or a trusted loyal friend. I'm talking years sweetie. I know because I've been with my Cap for over 20 years now and the road to win his heart and love completely and unconditionally was not traveled lightly.
Cap men are a powerful force when it comes to the heart of a Pisces female. When these two get it right it can be the most amazing of love stories there is but it cannot and will not happen before the time is right and for a Cap man who knows when that may be. Right now you are doing way too much for him especially after only dating a month. What is your hurry? Cap may give you great sex (if you are indulging) but his heart? That's a whole other thing altogether. They have to trust you completely and your loyalty proven as it should be for you as well. You are dating period. Give him and yourself time to really get to know one another and see if you have what it truly takes to walk by this man's side for the long term. Luckily, your appeal to the Cap man is very high. He senses deep down that his heart can be trusted with us but if your Cap is young, unevolved, doesn't have his sh*t together yet like a career, home, etc. then he won't be right for you or anyone else until he does. Back away, let him breath and pay attention to what he does not what he says.
Cap men are a powerful force when it comes to the heart of a Pisces female. When these two get it right it can be the most amazing of love stories there is but it cannot and will not happen before the time is right and for a Cap man who knows when that may be. Right now you are doing way too much for him especially after only dating a month. What is your hurry? Cap may give you great sex (if you are indulging) but his heart? That's a whole other thing altogether. They have to trust you completely and your loyalty proven as it should be for you as well. You are dating period. Give him and yourself time to really get to know one another and see if you have what it truly takes to walk by this man's side for the long term. Luckily, your appeal to the Cap man is very high. He senses deep down that his heart can be trusted with us but if your Cap is young, unevolved, doesn't have his sh*t together yet like a career, home, etc. then he won't be right for you or anyone else until he does. Back away, let him breath and pay attention to what he does not what he says.
Moonfal you may know your worth to him but he hasnt figured it out yet. It will take him sometime. You can be patient and hang around but I wouldn't. He is not ready ANDif he wete he would prolly treat you better but doesnt mean he'd rush to make a full fledge commitment. A evolved Pisces and a Evolved Cap together are awesome I rather opt for that otherwise you are fighting an uphill battle. Undo stress and strain. I was in tour position only I could not see how wonderful my Cap was. It took me yeeeaaaarrrssss to figure it out. He never stop lovong me and when the time was right I got it and its been heaven every since. My point is if its meant to be it will come back around at another time perhaps the right time. If you are anything like me Im a Pisces woman too. Men always find their way back to us mermaids...
Thanks everyone for your advice! I guess I should clarify that I'm not trying to move things quickly. I'm very cautious when it comes to men, in fact if they try moving too fast (whether it's in a good way or a bad way) I'm gone quicker than you could imagine. Also, I don't want him to be clingy. I like having time to myself and not being suffocated. But it would be nice if he texted me every other day or so and let me know he was thinking of me.
A little more background: He's 24 and I'm 19 (please do not judge me by my age, everyone reaches different points in their lives at different times). He approached me at my work and was the one to make the initiative. I work in the mornings and he works in the evenings during the week, so we only have the weekends to see each other.
After re-reading all our texts... the first three or four weeks of us talking he did initiate talking and hanging out a bit. Then he started working evening shifts, and it became harder to communicate (although he never was a huge texter anyway).
Then this happened: We hung out on the 12th, our first time seeing each other in two weeks (at the time we lived an hours drive from one another, I commuted for work). We had what I thought was a great time, and he asked when he would see me again and I told him I would be free the next day. He said alright I'll contact you tomorrow. He called me, which btw was the fist time he actually CALLED which I took to be a great sign! I missed it unfortunately and called him back in about 30 minutes, by then he'd made plans with some friends for dinner but said that he'd like to see me after. I agreed. About 7:30 he texts me and asks what I'm doing, I said, "I'm just finishing up a movie!" two hours goes by and I don't hear back from him. He says: "Okay"
Me: "Okay?"
Him: "Yeah, I didn't hear from you!"
I explained I DID reply, but maybe my phone really didn't send the message. He says I'm still invited over but by now it's 9:30 and I'm determined to not be a booty call, so even though I was all dolled up waiting to see him I replied that I was already in my jammies and settled into bed, and that I was sorry for the miscommunication.
That was Sunday. By Saturday I hadn't heard from him. I texted him, and he immediately responded, we caught up. He ended up telling me I should've come over, I said I'm not one to invite myself over to someone's home it feels rude to me, he told me no it's alright, it's not rude. The conversation
A little more background: He's 24 and I'm 19 (please do not judge me by my age, everyone reaches different points in their lives at different times). He approached me at my work and was the one to make the initiative. I work in the mornings and he works in the evenings during the week, so we only have the weekends to see each other.
After re-reading all our texts... the first three or four weeks of us talking he did initiate talking and hanging out a bit. Then he started working evening shifts, and it became harder to communicate (although he never was a huge texter anyway).
Then this happened: We hung out on the 12th, our first time seeing each other in two weeks (at the time we lived an hours drive from one another, I commuted for work). We had what I thought was a great time, and he asked when he would see me again and I told him I would be free the next day. He said alright I'll contact you tomorrow. He called me, which btw was the fist time he actually CALLED which I took to be a great sign! I missed it unfortunately and called him back in about 30 minutes, by then he'd made plans with some friends for dinner but said that he'd like to see me after. I agreed. About 7:30 he texts me and asks what I'm doing, I said, "I'm just finishing up a movie!" two hours goes by and I don't hear back from him. He says: "Okay"
Me: "Okay?"
Him: "Yeah, I didn't hear from you!"
I explained I DID reply, but maybe my phone really didn't send the message. He says I'm still invited over but by now it's 9:30 and I'm determined to not be a booty call, so even though I was all dolled up waiting to see him I replied that I was already in my jammies and settled into bed, and that I was sorry for the miscommunication.
That was Sunday. By Saturday I hadn't heard from him. I texted him, and he immediately responded, we caught up. He ended up telling me I should've come over, I said I'm not one to invite myself over to someone's home it feels rude to me, he told me no it's alright, it's not rude. The conversation
died, and after a few hours he texted me again. He uses few words when he texts, and practically no punctuation. So I stated that I found it hard to have a conversation through texting with him. He asked why, and in a moment of total honesty here is what I said,
Me: "You use very few words. Actually, I find you very puzzling in general as a person! You're hard to read most of the time, which is unusual for me. Normally I'm very intuitive when it comes to people and what they are thinking or feeling."
Him: "Lol I make it hard though 🙂 I don't need taken advantage of"
Me: "Well I've been getting that vibe from you to be honest. I've been more guarded myself when I'm with you because of it. You don't have to be so afraid, there are still good people in this world 🙂"
Him: "What are you wanting from this?"
Me (Hoping to God he's not talking about where our friendship is going, especially not through texting!): "What do I want from this discussion? To build a better friendship. I know we've hung out only a handful of times, but I still feel like I barely know you. It's hard when you have two people on the defensive."
Him: "No no, from this you and I"
Me: "Oh.. We are fairly new to each other but I would like us to go further and think about potential long term, but it's not possible without us opening up to each other. I don't want to rush anything, I'm happy taking things nice and slowly so there's no pressure."
Him: "Just curious."
Me: "Well, how do you feel?"
Him: "Same. Didn't know if you felt different."
Then I invited him bowling, he said he was with some friends but to text him after and he may want to hang out. I texted him afterwards it was about midnight asking if he was still with his friends, and he said Oh yeah, I'm still at my friend's. Won't be home til about 5. I was bothered, did he think I'd be bowling til 5 am? And did he think I"d come over at 5 am after being up all night if so?! WTH haha. That day he texted me in the afternoon during my lunch break and we made plans to see each other that night. Little did I know he had his friend and his friend's girl over, so it was like a double date movie night deal. That was the first time I met one of his friends, good sign, right? It was about 2 am when his friends left. He kind of invited me to stay the night (His exact words, "You should just stay over so we can just go to sleep" Which in my mind is not a direct invitation to stay the night) I told him I really n
Me: "You use very few words. Actually, I find you very puzzling in general as a person! You're hard to read most of the time, which is unusual for me. Normally I'm very intuitive when it comes to people and what they are thinking or feeling."
Him: "Lol I make it hard though 🙂 I don't need taken advantage of"
Me: "Well I've been getting that vibe from you to be honest. I've been more guarded myself when I'm with you because of it. You don't have to be so afraid, there are still good people in this world 🙂"
Him: "What are you wanting from this?"
Me (Hoping to God he's not talking about where our friendship is going, especially not through texting!): "What do I want from this discussion? To build a better friendship. I know we've hung out only a handful of times, but I still feel like I barely know you. It's hard when you have two people on the defensive."
Him: "No no, from this you and I"
Me: "Oh.. We are fairly new to each other but I would like us to go further and think about potential long term, but it's not possible without us opening up to each other. I don't want to rush anything, I'm happy taking things nice and slowly so there's no pressure."
Him: "Just curious."
Me: "Well, how do you feel?"
Him: "Same. Didn't know if you felt different."
Then I invited him bowling, he said he was with some friends but to text him after and he may want to hang out. I texted him afterwards it was about midnight asking if he was still with his friends, and he said Oh yeah, I'm still at my friend's. Won't be home til about 5. I was bothered, did he think I'd be bowling til 5 am? And did he think I"d come over at 5 am after being up all night if so?! WTH haha. That day he texted me in the afternoon during my lunch break and we made plans to see each other that night. Little did I know he had his friend and his friend's girl over, so it was like a double date movie night deal. That was the first time I met one of his friends, good sign, right? It was about 2 am when his friends left. He kind of invited me to stay the night (His exact words, "You should just stay over so we can just go to sleep" Which in my mind is not a direct invitation to stay the night) I told him I really n
but that I would love to see him again before he leaves to visit his family at the end of the week for a month. He walked me to the door, kissed my lips, my cheek, my neck, then pulled me in for nice long embrace, then kissed me again and I left. We texted that night a little bit before falling asleep. Oh! Also, that is the night he looked over at me and had that look in his eyes. (it's odd; as hard as he is to read I can always look in his eyes and I see so much, even if I can't interpret his feelings)
I get off work the next day and text him, he asks if I'm coming over I say yes. He asks when, I tell him I'll leave right now and stop and rent a movie. Twenty minutes later I'm at his apartment and knock, no answer. Knock again, no answer, and it sounds like I hear someone cough. I knock one more time, still no answer. I try calling his phone, and it goes to his voicemail after a few rings. I'm angry, I'm hurt, I leave and go back home. After an hour he still hasn't called back! Another thirty minutes and he texts me.
Him: "You not coming"
Me: "Well I went over but no one answered the door, and you didn't answer your phone so I went back home."
Him: "I didn't get a call from you"
Me: "Huh that really sucks."
Him: "I've been sittin on the couch since I said I'm home"
Me: "Hhmm well I dunno then"
Him: "Lol well you can come back"
Me: "Umm no that's ok"
Him: "k"
Me: "I feel a little stooAlso... I texted him earlier today as soon as I got off work (Just as he's getting on shift) and haven't heard anything back... he's still working though, so I'll see if I get a response here in the next hour or so!
d up even if it is due to a miscommunication, and if you still want to see me you are more than welcome to come over here."
Him: "Ok"
Me: "You're comin over?"
Him "No."
Me: "K"
Him: "Thank you though. I just don't feel like leaving."
That was Monday and we haven't talked since. I'm really sorry to write three whole messages... And I would have gone this in depth originally but I didn't think I'd get so many people commenting and trying to help me out!
I get off work the next day and text him, he asks if I'm coming over I say yes. He asks when, I tell him I'll leave right now and stop and rent a movie. Twenty minutes later I'm at his apartment and knock, no answer. Knock again, no answer, and it sounds like I hear someone cough. I knock one more time, still no answer. I try calling his phone, and it goes to his voicemail after a few rings. I'm angry, I'm hurt, I leave and go back home. After an hour he still hasn't called back! Another thirty minutes and he texts me.
Him: "You not coming"
Me: "Well I went over but no one answered the door, and you didn't answer your phone so I went back home."
Him: "I didn't get a call from you"
Me: "Huh that really sucks."
Him: "I've been sittin on the couch since I said I'm home"
Me: "Hhmm well I dunno then"
Him: "Lol well you can come back"
Me: "Umm no that's ok"
Him: "k"
Me: "I feel a little stooAlso... I texted him earlier today as soon as I got off work (Just as he's getting on shift) and haven't heard anything back... he's still working though, so I'll see if I get a response here in the next hour or so!
d up even if it is due to a miscommunication, and if you still want to see me you are more than welcome to come over here."
Him: "Ok"
Me: "You're comin over?"
Him "No."
Me: "K"
Him: "Thank you though. I just don't feel like leaving."
That was Monday and we haven't talked since. I'm really sorry to write three whole messages... And I would have gone this in depth originally but I didn't think I'd get so many people commenting and trying to help me out!
So he says he wants something potentially long term.. then starts acting all flaky (how could our phones not work properly two weeks in a row?). Common Capricorn game to test me, or just being a young man that doesn't know what he wants?
88 I appreciate the things you've said! I learned from my last 3 year relationship that I can not give and give and give. There has to be reciprocation. My feelings aren't extremely hurt by this man, I'm not emotionally involved enough. However I do think that he and I could have something wonderful together, and I guess I'm over excited to see it unravel (Or potentially not... )
SirB, thanks for your advice too! Much appreciated to hear from a Capricorn man!! (Also love how you threw in Scoprios and their mind games.. totally nailed my father! Made me giggle
Truecap, thank you! I do not make myself overly available to him (As I hope I cleared up in my more in depth three message post... lol) *Hugs back*
Beowolf: I'd never heard that about Cap and Scorpio men.. interesting!!
Caplove: When we are together I see and feel his attraction to me. It's when we are apart that I don't quite feel he's so crazy about me, because he seems so incredibly aloof. I think he is very insecure about himself.. which I don't even want to try and fix. I know that's something he will have to deal with one his own. He is always telling me that I boost his ego.
Pidelight: Thank you!
Striking: You are so right. I do know my worth, which is why I'm so frustrated that he doesn't see it. But honestly, we've only known each other such a short time I shouldn't expect him to realize so soon, that's not fair of me at all!
88 I appreciate the things you've said! I learned from my last 3 year relationship that I can not give and give and give. There has to be reciprocation. My feelings aren't extremely hurt by this man, I'm not emotionally involved enough. However I do think that he and I could have something wonderful together, and I guess I'm over excited to see it unravel (Or potentially not... )
SirB, thanks for your advice too! Much appreciated to hear from a Capricorn man!! (Also love how you threw in Scoprios and their mind games.. totally nailed my father! Made me giggle
Truecap, thank you! I do not make myself overly available to him (As I hope I cleared up in my more in depth three message post... lol) *Hugs back*
Beowolf: I'd never heard that about Cap and Scorpio men.. interesting!!
Caplove: When we are together I see and feel his attraction to me. It's when we are apart that I don't quite feel he's so crazy about me, because he seems so incredibly aloof. I think he is very insecure about himself.. which I don't even want to try and fix. I know that's something he will have to deal with one his own. He is always telling me that I boost his ego.
Pidelight: Thank you!
Striking: You are so right. I do know my worth, which is why I'm so frustrated that he doesn't see it. But honestly, we've only known each other such a short time I shouldn't expect him to realize so soon, that's not fair of me at all!
Aha thanks SirB! I appreciate the honesty. I was going to talk in person with him last time I saw him, then he ended up having his friends over. I was really hoping to see him before he leaves for the month and be able to talk openly, but I can wait. My birthday is on the 24th, and he did make a comment about coming back the 23rd instead of 25th so he could be here for it... but who knows he never said anything definitive. Thanks to your and everyone else's advice I do feel better about the situation!
Wow SirB...you sound like my Cap man...If I were moonfal I would have a heart to heart maybe with him and fall back and start moving on with my life. Lol @your Aqua girl story too...where as I am a pisces my moon,merc,venus and rising is in Aqua girl so I was detached and aloof like that when younger...So happy my Pisces sun rules...lol
Posted by 88NNPISCES
lol,
she is young and has lots to learn, if he is her age, both are very young. If she starts fast, it will end fast.
most of us started fast I am sure, all of the women here are still alone.. lmao
If we all had learned when younger we wouldnt be here adding negative statements about men. right.
but whatever.
I wish I had people offering me advice when I was her age. The sooner she learns how to get a guy to be stand up and how a GOOD man behaves, the better off she will be! Starts with respecting yourself and not giving so much to a man.
And, for the record - many of the women here are either married, have been married or are in comitted relationships. Not all the women dxp are alone.
Moonfal, I think you are the sweetest thing! I'm glad you clarified because I had a different impression.
The text after bowling when he was with his friends - that was so he could check up on you and what you were doing. He didn't have any intentions on meeting up just wanted to see where you were. One thing you can do is go out with your friends, let him know you're going, but DON'T text him all night. Let him wonder what you are doing = adds mystery. If he likes you, it will drive him crazy. Rationale: If he wants to know what you're doing so bad, well he should have taken you out and he would be with you, then he would KNOW what you're doing. And, no, he will never admit to any of this.
As far as when you went over there and he didn't answer the door - possible test to see if you would come running. It's okay you did, but you were absolutely right not to go back over there. Somehow, he needs a mild taste of his own medicine. Caps don't like that. haha!
See where I'm going with this? I think all you need to do is be a little busier. Don't play hard to get, just be busier so he has to work harder to get a date with you. I hope that makes sense.
I still don't think this is a guy worth your efforts, but perhaps you can get him to stand up and be more of a man. Like someone said (88 maybe?) you would be a good match for a cap man, but I don't know if its this guy.
The text after bowling when he was with his friends - that was so he could check up on you and what you were doing. He didn't have any intentions on meeting up just wanted to see where you were. One thing you can do is go out with your friends, let him know you're going, but DON'T text him all night. Let him wonder what you are doing = adds mystery. If he likes you, it will drive him crazy. Rationale: If he wants to know what you're doing so bad, well he should have taken you out and he would be with you, then he would KNOW what you're doing. And, no, he will never admit to any of this.
As far as when you went over there and he didn't answer the door - possible test to see if you would come running. It's okay you did, but you were absolutely right not to go back over there. Somehow, he needs a mild taste of his own medicine. Caps don't like that. haha!
See where I'm going with this? I think all you need to do is be a little busier. Don't play hard to get, just be busier so he has to work harder to get a date with you. I hope that makes sense.
I still don't think this is a guy worth your efforts, but perhaps you can get him to stand up and be more of a man. Like someone said (88 maybe?) you would be a good match for a cap man, but I don't know if its this guy.
I want to clear the air with you and let you know your message was heard loud and clear and I will no longer quote you.
Just realize the first quote I did in this thread was in answer to a question you had addressed in general to everyone who was posting and the question was not directed to the OP.
The second one I quoted in this thread was because you inspired me and I was in close agreement to you.
In one of those two quotes, you generalized all the women on DXP and I had to respond. That one probably wasn't necessary. I apologize for offending you. No hard feelings? *hugs*
Just realize the first quote I did in this thread was in answer to a question you had addressed in general to everyone who was posting and the question was not directed to the OP.
The second one I quoted in this thread was because you inspired me and I was in close agreement to you.
In one of those two quotes, you generalized all the women on DXP and I had to respond. That one probably wasn't necessary. I apologize for offending you. No hard feelings? *hugs*
Posted by truecap
I want to clear the air with you and let you know your message was heard loud and clear and I will no longer quote you.
Just realize the first quote I did in this thread was in answer to a question you had addressed in general to everyone who was posting and the question was not directed to the OP.
The second one I quoted in this thread was because you inspired me and I was in close agreement to you.
In one of those two quotes, you generalized all the women on DXP and I had to respond. That one probably wasn't necessary. I apologize for offending you. No hard feelings? *hugs*
Why are you apologizing, it's a forum and there is a quote button-- it's there for a reason. Please. I like reading what you have to say so go on 🙂
Thank you Truecap and 88 for your viewpoints! I do have to admit that I was a bit lost in delusion (damn being ruled by Neptune!), and you both gently coaxed me back down to the ground for a solid, realistic viewpoint. I don't think I'll write him off completely yet, but I'll definitely remember to keep things moving slowly when it comes to him.
I never seem to have a hard time finding suitors and I have been dating a few other men, but so far this Cap man is the only one I've felt any spark with. I don't feel that with many people so it was exciting to feel again, and I got overzealous 🙂
I never seem to have a hard time finding suitors and I have been dating a few other men, but so far this Cap man is the only one I've felt any spark with. I don't feel that with many people so it was exciting to feel again, and I got overzealous 🙂
Why are all the Pisces leaving? : ( Noooooooo
@Moonfal, I really don't know how you can be so patient with this guy. It would drive me crazy if someone played games with me like that. It's fun, though, because I can definitely see myself responding to the texts and such just the way you did. Your cap sounds somewhat similar to my friend's cap, who actually just turned 24, himself. He likes to hang out with his friends and doesn't seem to care about missing time with his girlfriend. He is also really moody and doesn't like to leave his house. Etc. I can't handle him, either! On another note, I don't like people judging me by my age, either, so I keep it off my profile. Anyway, good luck to you and your cap. I really don't have anything too productive to say on this issue. But, you should update us if anything happens.
@Moonfal, I really don't know how you can be so patient with this guy. It would drive me crazy if someone played games with me like that. It's fun, though, because I can definitely see myself responding to the texts and such just the way you did. Your cap sounds somewhat similar to my friend's cap, who actually just turned 24, himself. He likes to hang out with his friends and doesn't seem to care about missing time with his girlfriend. He is also really moody and doesn't like to leave his house. Etc. I can't handle him, either! On another note, I don't like people judging me by my age, either, so I keep it off my profile. Anyway, good luck to you and your cap. I really don't have anything too productive to say on this issue. But, you should update us if anything happens.
Scenic, I'm cursed with patience. Even if that weren't enough I'm stubborn too.. Honestly though you never lose from being patient! You either gain something, or it drifts away slowly. There's always a lesson to be learned To. 🙂
notJTG1984, practical as it sounds that's not true for everyone. My eldest sister (who's a Capricorn actually :O) and her husband met when they were 20 and 21 married within a year and now ten years later have a beatiful family and wonderful marriage. I personally prefer not to wait and settle down so long. I have even thinking about dating men more around 27-30 ish years. I seem to be attracted to older men more often than not anyway.
Thanks Caplovemy two dogs (chihuahua and terrier mix) had puppies in October and that was one of them. They were adorable 🙂
I will definitely keep you guys updated if anything occurs!
notJTG1984, practical as it sounds that's not true for everyone. My eldest sister (who's a Capricorn actually :O) and her husband met when they were 20 and 21 married within a year and now ten years later have a beatiful family and wonderful marriage. I personally prefer not to wait and settle down so long. I have even thinking about dating men more around 27-30 ish years. I seem to be attracted to older men more often than not anyway.
Thanks Caplovemy two dogs (chihuahua and terrier mix) had puppies in October and that was one of them. They were adorable 🙂
I will definitely keep you guys updated if anything occurs!
Posted by EusiveSoulllPosted by aquapiscescuspWhy are you apologizing, it's a forum and there is a quote button-- it's there for a reason. Please. I like reading what you have to say so go on 🙂
Good God... ^^^ this yes!
@TC ... Reason why you should apologize for voicing your opinion completely eludes me since -as far as I'm concerned -you've said nothing offensive nor disrespectful. If anything, your advise to the OP came from a sincere and caring place with realistic outlook on life. Sage advice is the least I hear whenever I read your posts.click to expand
Nice 🙂
Posted by QUlETstormPosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by truecap
I want to clear the air with you and let you know your message was heard loud and clear and I will no longer quote you.
Just realize the first quote I did in this thread was in answer to a question you had addressed in general to everyone who was posting and the question was not directed to the OP.
The second one I quoted in this thread was because you inspired me and I was in close agreement to you.
In one of those two quotes, you generalized all the women on DXP and I had to respond. That one probably wasn't necessary. I apologize for offending you. No hard feelings? *hugs*
Why are you apologizing, it's a forum and there is a quote button-- it's there for a reason. Please. I like reading what you have to say so go on 🙂
+1
I like both 88 and true cap but its silly to tell someone to stop addressing you when you've indirectly addressed them yourself. It's only fair that true cap should be able to voice her opinion as well. Yet I feel you handled it very tactfully and ladylike.. True cap indeed! :-Pclick to expand
Uhm yeah, I wouldn't have been that tactful 🙂
Posted by EusiveSoulllPosted by aquapiscescuspWhy are you apologizing, it's a forum and there is a quote button-- it's there for a reason. Please. I like reading what you have to say so go on 🙂
Good God... ^^^ this yes!
@TC ... Reason why you should apologize for voicing your opinion completely eludes me since -as far as I'm concerned -you've said nothing offensive nor disrespectful. If anything, your advise to the OP came from a sincere and caring place with realistic outlook on life. Sage advice is the least I hear whenever I read your posts.click to expand
I apologized for quoting her. I did not apologize for what I said. Thanks Eusive and Aquapisces for the support!
Posted by truecapPosted by EusiveSoulllPosted by aquapiscescuspWhy are you apologizing, it's a forum and there is a quote button-- it's there for a reason. Please. I like reading what you have to say so go on 🙂
Good God... ^^^ this yes!
@TC ... Reason why you should apologize for voicing your opinion completely eludes me since -as far as I'm concerned -you've said nothing offensive nor disrespectful. If anything, your advise to the OP came from a sincere and caring place with realistic outlook on life. Sage advice is the least I hear whenever I read your posts.
I apologized for quoting her. I did not apologize for what I said. Thanks Eusive and Aquapisces for the support!click to expand
No problem truecap 😛
Okay so I read it all, whew, truecap and a few others (sorry terrible with remember names in long threads) gave some really insightful, great advice.
1. You took him on knowing he was not communicating with you in a way that satisfied you, that was your queue to exit but you stayed and when you stayed you taught him he doesn't have to communicate with you b/c you'll fill in the blanks, you'll wait, you'll discuss it, so there was no real incentive to change how he communicates with you if he know you'll continue to respond to his half ass communication skills.
2. He initially started off contacting you, initiating contact but where you fell short is you started to pick up the slack when he slacked off on the initiating, you basically taught him through how you chose to pull the weight by doing his part of the relationship/wooing process that you'll show up even though he's not initiating, so he learned from you that he doesn't have to show up and you'll still pull the slack by being there when it's convenient for him but not so convenient for you, basically you'll show up no matter how half ass he's being with you, that's the WRONG nonverbal message to send to a man.
3. When he asked you what you wanted? He's trying to see if he can get you for free, meaning if he can get sex without putting anything in (anything in )as in his energy, time, money, so far he's done nothing, he's wasted your time, your gas money, half ass communication so yeah he's invested ZERO of his time and energy but he want you to spend the night, that's code for bootycall.
So I'm going to stop here. You are getting half ass communication, he's not demonstrating any interest in you for the exception of the first 3 to 4 weeks of text messaging, he's wasted your gas by allowing you to come over while he's sitting his ass up on the couch ignoring you, he's wasting your time, wasting your energy, wasting your money and YOU ARE SHOWING UP FOR THAT, you are showing up for waste so that's all you're going to get b/c you are teaching him he can waste your time.
So moonfal if you are showing up for half ass treatment from a man what exactly do you think/feel you are teaching him? You are teaching him he can dog you out and you'll show up. Is your feelings for him worth being treated so half ass?
1. You took him on knowing he was not communicating with you in a way that satisfied you, that was your queue to exit but you stayed and when you stayed you taught him he doesn't have to communicate with you b/c you'll fill in the blanks, you'll wait, you'll discuss it, so there was no real incentive to change how he communicates with you if he know you'll continue to respond to his half ass communication skills.
2. He initially started off contacting you, initiating contact but where you fell short is you started to pick up the slack when he slacked off on the initiating, you basically taught him through how you chose to pull the weight by doing his part of the relationship/wooing process that you'll show up even though he's not initiating, so he learned from you that he doesn't have to show up and you'll still pull the slack by being there when it's convenient for him but not so convenient for you, basically you'll show up no matter how half ass he's being with you, that's the WRONG nonverbal message to send to a man.
3. When he asked you what you wanted? He's trying to see if he can get you for free, meaning if he can get sex without putting anything in (anything in )as in his energy, time, money, so far he's done nothing, he's wasted your time, your gas money, half ass communication so yeah he's invested ZERO of his time and energy but he want you to spend the night, that's code for bootycall.
So I'm going to stop here. You are getting half ass communication, he's not demonstrating any interest in you for the exception of the first 3 to 4 weeks of text messaging, he's wasted your gas by allowing you to come over while he's sitting his ass up on the couch ignoring you, he's wasting your time, wasting your energy, wasting your money and YOU ARE SHOWING UP FOR THAT, you are showing up for waste so that's all you're going to get b/c you are teaching him he can waste your time.
So moonfal if you are showing up for half ass treatment from a man what exactly do you think/feel you are teaching him? You are teaching him he can dog you out and you'll show up. Is your feelings for him worth being treated so half ass?
Narcissistic tendencies. Narcissist groom for weeks, months, grooming as in giving a woman FULL 100% attention, the ATTENTION is the reel, she's caught, he realize she's caught and then they slowly sometimes torturously back out, they don't go away though, they dump slowly by stopping all the good stuff. The woman feels deep affection b/c who wouldn't feel something when the beginning was heaven but the hell begins, the pulling back, doing nothing, not calling, not communicating but asking questions to gain and edge, all a game, the secret weapon is PULLING BACK AND GIVING LESS AND LESS so the Narc show up but ALWAYS show up half ass and this is confusing behavior for a woman b/c in the beginning you had the spotlight, his full attention, maybe talking/communicating hours and hours in the day then it all seems to slowly stop, whereas before it was all smooth and easy, the ease decreases, the pace seems strained and tense.
There is always some convenient reason why the good stuff stopped, timing is critical with a Narc and we women (many of us) buy it, oh it's work, it's school, the dog at the soap and died, he's busy yah yah yah, she feel if he's showing up then something can happen but all the while he's slowly mindfucking, it's the behavior you watch for, the inviting her in but subtly or overtly dumping her in little ways by inviting friends over when you thought you'd be alone, leaving you outside standing there while he sits on the couch pretending to not hear you, barely talking forcing you to coax communication out of him, you using all your energy focused on him and his behavior basically investing your energy into him while he does nothing, also he's gaslighting, yeah just move on before the assclown have you on DXP howling for months on end, while he sits there doing nothing but crazymaking behavior, it's not worth it.
I've seen this story many times, I'm not saying I'm right okay, just another angle to the story, it's all information, do what you will with it but please be careful and guard your MIND, don't let anyone live in your head for free, the mindfucking crazymaking intensity seems fun now but it gets old real fast.
There is always some convenient reason why the good stuff stopped, timing is critical with a Narc and we women (many of us) buy it, oh it's work, it's school, the dog at the soap and died, he's busy yah yah yah, she feel if he's showing up then something can happen but all the while he's slowly mindfucking, it's the behavior you watch for, the inviting her in but subtly or overtly dumping her in little ways by inviting friends over when you thought you'd be alone, leaving you outside standing there while he sits on the couch pretending to not hear you, barely talking forcing you to coax communication out of him, you using all your energy focused on him and his behavior basically investing your energy into him while he does nothing, also he's gaslighting, yeah just move on before the assclown have you on DXP howling for months on end, while he sits there doing nothing but crazymaking behavior, it's not worth it.
I've seen this story many times, I'm not saying I'm right okay, just another angle to the story, it's all information, do what you will with it but please be careful and guard your MIND, don't let anyone live in your head for free, the mindfucking crazymaking intensity seems fun now but it gets old real fast.
Posted by BeoWulf
As usual, the Cap ladies will have a different...more "suspicious-of-his-motives-so-you-better-dump-him"...take on your Capricorn lover's character. I agree with SirB; the Mer-Goat females & males are quite different from each other, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Look, it's only been a MONTH. Caps take longer than that to REALLY be into someone. It's not like you've been together for years right? Give it time. Water & Earth signs are NOT like Fire & Air signs. They don't wear their hearts on their sleeves & declare undying love after only a few dates. I sense this Cap of yours is actually testing you; to see if you'll tolerate his BS & more importantly, to see if you'll be there for him for the long haul.
These bear repeating.....
Tiki33
I've red some of your postings and liked them a lot, but this is a bit harsh. I wouldn't call him a nacissist. I'm not even sure he's playing mental games: this will imply a sort of mental sophistication and .... common, have you not red his texts 🙂?
Someone so young has yet to learn to appreciate a good girlfriend, perhaps by getting his heart/ego broken by a bad one. He probably thinks the best is yet to come. He is obviously not emotionally involved in the relationship yet, just flattered and curious about his effect on her. She makes him feel good about himself, to the extend that he may start thinking he's probably too good for her!
Moonfal, do not run to his place once he calls you. Suggest some other activities you could participate in together, but let him invite you, pick you up and treat you as well. If he refuses, persuade him gently. If he still doesn't want to do what you want, simply say in your sweetest voice: "Never mind, thank you for calling, maybe next time..."
I've red some of your postings and liked them a lot, but this is a bit harsh. I wouldn't call him a nacissist. I'm not even sure he's playing mental games: this will imply a sort of mental sophistication and .... common, have you not red his texts 🙂?
Someone so young has yet to learn to appreciate a good girlfriend, perhaps by getting his heart/ego broken by a bad one. He probably thinks the best is yet to come. He is obviously not emotionally involved in the relationship yet, just flattered and curious about his effect on her. She makes him feel good about himself, to the extend that he may start thinking he's probably too good for her!
Moonfal, do not run to his place once he calls you. Suggest some other activities you could participate in together, but let him invite you, pick you up and treat you as well. If he refuses, persuade him gently. If he still doesn't want to do what you want, simply say in your sweetest voice: "Never mind, thank you for calling, maybe next time..."
Posted by tiki33
Okay so I read it all, whew, truecap and a few others (sorry terrible with remember names in long threads) gave some really insightful, great advice.
Awww thanks Tiki. I learned a lot from you. Tried your approach and it is absolutely the right thing to do! Works every time and you end up keeping your self respect!
Undine I get where you are coming from and yet you are speaking for him when you say "he probably thinks" well I don't go by what he probably thinks, I'm going by his behavior towards her, I know all about the young Cap males and the asshole behavior, some of the behavior is almost exactly the same in their 20's, read through the DXP boards, same behavior and usually it's AFTER he's gained a significant amount of control which typically is after he realizes she likes him more than he likes her then the perceived games begin.
Narcissism "She makes him feel good about himself, to the extend that he may start thinking he's probably too good for her!" and you're absolutely correct.
Moonfal my suggestion to you is don't suggest anything, don't persuade him b/c here's the thing, you don't have to nudge a man when he's into you, if he's into you he'll naturally SHOW UP on his own, he'll naturally communicate. Why? Because he want to.
You are not that desperate least I hope you're not, let him do his part, he will if he's into getting to know you. Cap males KNOW how to treat a woman, doing what they know is another story in itself, they know how to give affection and attention, they can be chivalrous and nurturing, they know how to be good boyfriends when their priorities are in order.
You've done enough persuading, a 1 or 2 hour drive only to go back home b/c he wouldn't answer the door or pick up his phone is enough effort on your part, he didn't say to you "hey listen let me drive up to you, I feel terrible", instead he said ok.
Narcissism "She makes him feel good about himself, to the extend that he may start thinking he's probably too good for her!" and you're absolutely correct.
Moonfal my suggestion to you is don't suggest anything, don't persuade him b/c here's the thing, you don't have to nudge a man when he's into you, if he's into you he'll naturally SHOW UP on his own, he'll naturally communicate. Why? Because he want to.
You are not that desperate least I hope you're not, let him do his part, he will if he's into getting to know you. Cap males KNOW how to treat a woman, doing what they know is another story in itself, they know how to give affection and attention, they can be chivalrous and nurturing, they know how to be good boyfriends when their priorities are in order.
You've done enough persuading, a 1 or 2 hour drive only to go back home b/c he wouldn't answer the door or pick up his phone is enough effort on your part, he didn't say to you "hey listen let me drive up to you, I feel terrible", instead he said ok.
Posted by truecapPosted by tiki33
Okay so I read it all, whew, truecap and a few others (sorry terrible with remember names in long threads) gave some really insightful, great advice.
Awww thanks Tiki. I learned a lot from you. Tried your approach and it is absolutely the right thing to do! Works every time and you end up keeping your self respect!click to expand
Attractive energy glowing all over you. 😄
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