Messiah - Volume Ten.

I'm adding this post as an example of the sheer futility in trying to get certain types of emotionally disabled Capricorn males to make a sincere commitment, until they decide it's the best thing for THEM. It's based on a two and a half year relationship I had, that I pulled the plug on, several months ago.

My biggest learning curve was during the time, after I ended the relationship, when I made it crystal clear there was to be no more contact between us.

Mr. Corn was already dating another woman a few days later, but still wanted to be 'in my life'.

I don't think so, honey bunny!

I then proceeded to spend the next month getting through the most hideous time, on my own. And I did it. One way or another I got through it - the fact he had to have a woman to hold his hand to get through it, as hurtful as it was, actually helped me the most.

Five weeks later - and right at the point where I calculated the new woman in his life was pressing him for more commitment - which would have been encouraged by him, (to begin with) until he realised "oh-oh" - how am I going to get myself out of this - he attempted to re-enter my life.

I listened to his claims to have "missed me" - and how he "loved me" - knowing the moment I reacted favourably, he would relax and think it was okay to 'still be friends' with the other woman.

Dream on, Capricorn.

This went on for several weeks - he was very determined and I was considering a restraining order. But he still wasn't sincerely offering me a secure, committed relationship.

See you later, matey.

Two days went by and I thought to myself 'good girl, you didn't fall for it' and he's gone for good. My self esteem was intact and at the same time that I was patting myself on the back for ridding myself of this man for all eternity - he was ringing my doorbell.

In that two days HE had decided I was the right woman for HIM, for HIS image and for HIS ego. (HE didn't explain it like that, of course). HE had decided HE was ready to take me to the jewellery store to choose any engagement ring my heart desired. HE was ready to make a real commitment.

There is a very real feeling that he was smiling indulgently to himself, the whole time. Like a good natured serial killer, before he lowers the cellar door and instructs me to 'rub the lotion on it's skin".

Shudders x 10.

At the exact time I was thinking "Dream on Capricorn' - he was probably thinking 'Dream on, little Cancerian' - you ain't going anywhere!

Thank you for sharing. With the exceptions of a few minor changes I could have written the same cap story myself.
He turned out to be the best thing I never had.

Bwhahahahahhahahahahaaaaaa @ 'rub the lotion on it's skin".

ok im cappy woman and yeah i only turn up when i need something.......its good to know how badly that comes across. I dunno why. I seem to just have a very simple routine in life that I repeat. Therefore I dont have many associates, just a few. If anyone wants to develop an association im often reluctant because then my life is less solid and regimented and more chaotic. eg if i have many friends they will keep phoning up with invites that will break my routine. I find some of my best moments in solitude also so if i cant get solitude its a problem.

People are always friends because they need each other. They need something from each other. Capricorn is shamelessly practical and honest ie they dont dress it up. They probably think if they need me theyll get in touch and if I need them ill get in touch and if neither of us need anything why get in touch? Its like an etiquette where both people are there and dont want to be and theyre doing something they dont want to do just because its proper. The insensitivity is that the person might appreciate being shown some love and loyalty by getting in contact asking how they are

Amethyst, when he said I could have any ring I wanted - I got a visual of this old cartoon called Top Cat - where TC kept a dollar coin on a piece of elastic in his pocket. He would use the dollar and then it would spring straight back into his pocket! I just know any engagement ring he offered would have a piece of elastic attached to it.

I think this type just don't develop emotionally past the age of about six.

LoL *sigh*

It took me awhile to work out that the moment you start having sex with this type - you might as well give up, because whilst in the beginning of the relationship, you think everything is wonderful and he is whispering sweet nothings (and I do mean nothings) in your ear, and you are falling madly in love - he will either already have another woman around, or be looking for one.

The reason he didn't quit trying to get me back after I ended the relationship, and all contact, was because he found himself in the situation they fear the most - he was stuck with the other woman, no doubt in a highly sexual relationship (at first). Normal intimacy with one woman, is something they cannot maintain and you might as well say goodbye before it even begins once you have had sex with this emotionally dysfunctional type. When things start to go wrong, and they can only go wrong once you are having sex with them, they will discard you and when they come back again they will try to use sex to win you back over and then the whole horrible cycle of being emotionally unavailable to you, begins again.

They will flip flop between you and other woman. And they will come and they will disappear again over and over and you won't know about the other woman and you will wonder what the hell is going on. This will go on as long as you believe their lies and empty words.

It's easy once you know what you are dealing with. Men who fear intimacy but need it in order to feel they even exist. You are just another way of proving your existence until you are ultimately discarded.

So if you are determined to want to win this type of creature - do not have sex with them. But be careful what you wish for.

Oops that should read "you are just another way of proving HIS existence" :-)

Dang, I'm starting to realize I'm an emotionally available cap female. That's sucks, but people that fall for these type of caps don't make it any better. The signs show before you even have sex, and I always wonder how people can be so in love with these men when they give so little emotionally. I mean, are they in the wrong or is it you? They use sex because its really all you've gotten from them. Caps try to warn women, I read it all the time in these threads where the Cap says "I'm not looking for a relationships right now" or "I'm just interested in fwb" etc. There are so many ways these men are trying to tell women they will not be there how you may need but people seem to be so caught up in winning these men over, then blame it all on them in the end. So I'm never going to really fault a cap male. None of this makes them bad people are users, just emotionally unavailable, but again, those signs are shown early on.

Thing is if the capricorn has entered into the relationship for a logical reason once the logic changes they will exit. But capricorn can also have intense feelings towards someone and develop immense loyalty. Especially if they becomes tuned into a desire to be old fashioned eg marriage is for life

I posted this on another older thread but I think it's important for anyone dealing with a similar type of Capricorn.

It's all about not allowing them to cross boundaries.

Boundaries that you have put in place. Ones that you do not allow them to keep crossing. Because once they know they can they won't stop.

It's about not waiting for a phone call from Jesus - aka Capricorn.

It's about showing you can exist without them. Happily.

It scares them too much when they know Mummy can walk away.

They become good little boys and drop the wretched little six year old routine.


I went through two and a half years of dealing with such a little boy and it wasn't until I stopped the merry-go-round and got on with my life - and put my foot right down, knowing I deserved so much better and COULD do so much better than him, rather easily, that he turned into everything I thought I had wanted, and offered me everything I thought I wanted, in a sincere way.

The problem was after I got off that merry-go-round, I realised what I'd been wishing for, wasn't what I wanted anymore.

Do be careful what you wish :-)

You realized that what you'd been wishing for wasn't what you wanted anymore? So after two yrs of playing on this merry go round and falling in love with the game, not the man, you've jumped off and realized you don't want to play anymore. And yall wonder why these men act the way they do. Very few people really know what they want and this man/ these men are dogged for playing the game right along with some of you. I don't get it but whatever.

I think it's more to do with whatever life lesson that man and I were meant to learn from each other. People do cross each other's paths for a reason. I've grown from the experience.

I'm now three foot five :-)

Dang, to add on with what Id posted a year ago in here. My Cap friend and I met up Friday and we talked about his relationship/marriage. They are both currently unhappy. He wants more sex and I guess shes just tired. I told him that maybe she feels like an object. He says he works and pays the bills, cook, clean, have their 5month old son 24/7...so he feels he goes above and beyond and the least she can do is give him what he wants. I can understand how both possibly feel.

What leans me more towards him though, is that he warned her early in the beginning that he had a high sex drive. Hes in the military and said he'd do chicks overseas on the regular, so he has a big appetite. Anyway he TOLD her and even asked "are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?" She gave him what he wanted in the beginning, now that she's in and settled, she's cut back. Its not going to work for him, but He think she's going to leave him since he said he's not leaving her.

My irritation is that 75% of the time a Cap will warn you, try to give you the heads up, try to lay it all on the table but people just dont listen, then in the end the Cap gets all the blame smh.

@Capgirl, sorry lol. I dont know, but I dont think my friend is demanding or mean. I do however think its possible he's done a bit of damage to her confidence possibly causing her to shut down. When he told me she shouted and cursed him for making another pitcher if koolaid lol(he says she doesnt make hers sweet enough) I knew something was wrong. Shes an Aries, but Im sure it stings woman knowing her guy isnt completely satisfied.

@Nicrobliz. He's basically a sex addict. I think water signs can keep up with his needs, as he dated a Pisces and a Cancer(his equal in every way) before and according to him, they both took care of him in that way.

My mother dated a Cap who was a sex addict and she says nothing/no one satisfies him. She said he can be in the bed with three Halle Berrys and still not be satisfied. My Cap friend is a Scorp venus. I wonder if her ex was too....either way, it may seem like he's being a baby but frequent sex is a high priority with these guys.

Wonder how things ended up with MissBizzarre. This original thread was over a year ago.