not that into me?

So when my capricorn guy was around these 2 italian girls that were on the same program he would not be flirtatious or affectionate with me...not that he was ever openly affectionate to begin with. But around those girls i felt ignored. the italians were very loud and would make teasing comments if they knew anything was up with anyone. on eof the italian girls seemed to like him and she would flirt with him...but at the end of the day he would always choose me.

i cannot understand it because they have spent alone time together but nothing has happened between them. And when i got jealous on one occassion he kept teasing me and then he said he is with the one he wants. He does not seem to act on her flirtations, but when he is around them his behaviour changes..

These girls are very fun and exciting, although i honestly do not think the one who flirts with him is all that attractive...but i dont know what he thinks. He always invites me for lunch even when he knows they are goign to meet him too..

its just so strange.

Posted by amaranth
S..but at the end of the day he would always choose me.

... he said he is with the one he wants. He does not seem to act on her flirtations, but when he is around them his behaviour changes..

...He always invites me for lunch even when he knows they are goign to meet him too..

Then it's obvious that he really does want you. It seems to be he's just reacting to the playful flirtations of the Italian blowjobs...oops I mean, Italian Jobs 😛

He does not seem to act on her flirtations, but when he is around them his behavior changes..

click to expand

Yup, he's just responding to their playfulness. The reason why he invites you along for lunches is to show THEM that he's already spoken for. It's to send out a strong signal to the girls NOT to push things too far and that fun is fun but nothing more.

Sooo...its been a week since capricorn guy has said or even tried to say anything to me. No text, no calls, no messages on fb. Should I just assume that he has moved on? As a gemini, if I do not contact someone for a week, it usually means they dont not have my interest..so is the same for capricorn? I have not contacted him at all either...

What say you?

Sounds like he has set his sights elsewhere.

Posted by scorchedearth
if you haven't contacted him either then your current situation is just as much your fault, as it is his.

as a gemini you're probably thinking he's really secretive and hard to read, right? well, even for other earth signs those bitches are hard to understand.

you will see them completely shit on a perfect match to go with someone who seems like the total opposite of what would make them happy long term. (they can be social climbers and attention whores.)

they're great people, a lot of them. if you can woo them they are loving and caring... however, they do have a tendency to disappear for long periods of time and they would probably rather crawl across broken glass naked than talk about their feelings.

it takes a very particular type of person to date them. you have to ask yourself. does his crazy match mine? is his drama something i can deal with? don't cling wrap yourself up his ass because he seems like the strong silent type just waiting for the right girl to open him up. really, no one can. no one but him. if he's interested in that he'll do that himself.

I agree with you when you say that it is just as much her fault that they havent talked,but from there you losted me....when
a cap woman or man have given their heart to somebody they expect the same amount of attention from that person otherwise they will reciprocate that action from they mate even when it hurts them to do that ...


we never like to seem like we are runnin up behind another we to classy for that ...we will give that attention but you have to be as a equal in those actions...if he has not call he may have been waitin for you to call him ...now he is thinkin you dont care....if he was intersted in one of them chicken heads then he would not even bother to go in public places with you out of fear they would see yall and them chicks probable were doin that to piss you off if they do know abot you and I just think the best thing to do is put you pride aside step on yo ego and call him tell him directly how you feel no beatin around the bush ....straight up...then what he says from there if he cares then you guys are kool ya feel me

Hola! Thanks scorchedearth and 24cap for replying!

Well the situation is that he is not currently living in my city, but he is still in the same country. He left 2 weeks ago, he is 28. Strong silent type, yes. Hard to read, even more so! The week he left, he was talking to me more frequently, almost every day of texting. I initiated, he initiated. Then last week I was missing him, but because it was a sex thing when he was here..and i say that because i knew he was leaving. But i think he liked me as did i. even though that is just an assumption as he was one of those who was verry aware of body language..so he would ignore me around others but i could tell i had his attention, and he seemed very closed. So i messaged him saying i was really horny, and he replied saying he wished he was where i was, hated missing those nights blah blah..since then, no contact. That was last week. Before the sex message, he was sweet and flirtatious. Now nothing.

Ahhh, Yes. I have been seeing other guys, and there is no shortage of potential bfs but I just have not been attracted to anyone to think about them seriously. I was the one who initiated the sex, because we are both here in this country to work...I for a year and him for 2 more months. I was only ever interested in a temporary situation. Only now, I have developed feelings for him. Also did not realise that the reason I chose him was because I liked him from the beginning..

i can understand that hunie....when you really like someone from the beginnin there is a instant deeper sensual feelin to the sex.....when you go try it with someone else comparing then it does not even come close...that is once there is feelings there for (me)maybe all caps ...and if he is not comin back and you need to talk call him....see whats up and tell him how you feel ...if yoou fear rejection or somethin its nothin....we connect feelings with ones who are fwb too....your situation sounds similiar to mine except i know why we are not into a relationship just yet....i have been questioning my case and it is my guy has a situation that makes him not know whether or not hes gonna be free ya feel me....so im standin by my boo cause he is needin me now and just because im not gettin what all i want right now doesnt mean im not gonna get it...dont sweat it that badd about no contact call him we love people to express themselves to us about how they feel then we can tell how we actually feel

Call the man up and talk to him. We are only speculators on here not the one's with the answers you seek. You wanted sex and you got sex. Now you seem to want more but because this man didn't have to earn/win you in order to get the sex you're unsure if he'll see you as more than just what you initially offered of yourself correct? However it goes, he is the only one who can tell you what you want to hear or not. It's up to you to determine if you are brave enough to possibly hear that all he wants is sex too and isn't thinking about more with you. There is no figuring out a Cap (or most men) at all. But if you ask him a genuine question he will comply with an honest answer. Let him know what YOU feel about him and the situaion and see what he has to say.

Sooo....after a whole week of no contact, I decided to send my Cap a text message. Just a simple, non intrusive, friendly message just because I know that its killing me wondering why no contact. So i asked him how things were going in his new city, to which he promptly replied saying "Just sitting here thinking of your pretty face..things have been busy but good. And (insert name of city here)? So i responded saying "same..rainy weekend but good. Good to know you are good!" and he never replied.

I am just confused as to what happened...all of a sudden the communication has dropped..

Is it that he has lost interest because there is no possibility we will ever see each other again? Is it that he is pulling back? Is it because I sent him the i am so horny text?

Only the Cap guy can answer why he is doing the push/pull, hot/cold thing with you. They have their reasons and usually it is in the form of some type of test. I know he says all the right things to keep you holding on but with Cap (men in general) their actions tell the real story. You might want to work on having more patience and let this guy come to YOU and stop with the inability to control yourself where the communication is concerned. Let him EARN your time and attention. He knows you can't handle when he doesn't stay in contact the way you want him to and so he sits back and lets you reveal your "hand" to him each time you are the one to initiate. If he's not your man officially, wait until he is before running to check in and make sure everything is okay. If its okay he'll be the one pursuing you not the other way around. A Cap that knows what he wants doesn't leave you hanging or wondering. Since he seems to want to keep the sex option open with you and knows all he has to do is say the right thing that is all he is doing but its on his time table not yours. Try stepping back and allowing him to step up and show his true intentions through unconfusing action. Just a suggestion.

Funny I used to talk/conversate with girls to and my Gemini couldn't stand it.

Edit: Damm your a Gemini. Basiclly that conversation is over I would have done the same. You need to open up to how you feel about him TALK my gf had this same problem I'm not going to sit here and pull shit out of you. Once we moved passed that stage all was well. We can always sense when a person is holding back/not saying what they feel eithier man up or sit down.

Funny I used to talk/conversate with girls to and my Gemini couldn't stand it.

Edit: Damm your a Gemini. Basiclly that conversation is over I would have done the same. You need to open up to how you feel about him TALK my gf had this same problem I'm not going to sit here and pull shit out of you. Once we moved passed that stage all was well. We can always sense when a person is holding back/not saying what they feel eithier man up or sit down.

Two Italian women. One is not quite attractive. He's not openly affectionate, yet you felt neglected because....

I'm sorry where was this going?

Posted by amaranth
I know that its killing me wondering why no contact.

I am just confused as to what happened...all of a sudden the communication has dropped..

Is it that he has lost interest because there is no possibility we will ever see each other again? Is it that he is pulling back? Is it because I sent him the i am so horny text?

alright, i'll just wade in here...you're a girl, he's a guy. you're being emotional, he isn't. the text you sent him doesn't really need a reply. think about it. you're just worried because lately you feel he's pulling away. if you're genuine about your feelings towards him, then let him be for now.

it's times like these that really dictate what will happen next, imo. don't let your paranoia and doubts sabotage you. be zen 😄 no but seriously, do your own thing and the rest will follow.

I could just hug you Nimbue. This message came at a time that I had decided to do just that and be cool.

Night before last I thought about everything to how I feel, what I wanted, how i would feel if he was in fact pulling away etc, and I just let go ...so that yesterday I just felt calm. And I love that feeling.

So while I am teaching he sends me a text asking me for advice about something. I was surprised but didnt let myself react too much. I texted back. Then I went for icecream with an aquaintance and he calls!! while i am out. wasn thinking about him, didnt feel anxious that he didnt reply..i was just "ahh well". And i asked to call him back...i did when I got home and we spoke for a good little time..

i feel good that he called instead of texting back, that he called me back when my minutes were up, that it was not awkward between us, and that he actually initiated contact.

For me, there is no indication even after his call that we are anything more than just friends. And honestly I dont mind. Lets see what happens in the next few days and weeks, if anything ..

o dear! he juuuuust sent a text telling me about his day...and at the end he says "miss yer smile"...??beaming

Posted by amaranth
I could just hug you Nimbue. This message came at a time that I had decided to do just that and be cool.

Night before last I thought about everything to how I feel, what I wanted, how i would feel if he was in fact pulling away etc, and I just let go ...so that yesterday I just felt calm. And I love that feeling.


o dear! he juuuuust sent a text telling me about his day...and at the end he says "miss yer smile"...??beaming??

awww that's so cool!

i'm glad you were able to get that 'calm feeling', and i know your guy picked up on it. so i'm excited to hear how this pans out! updates please 😄 wishing you well 🙂

I spoke way too soon.

I seem to have been living in a bubble. This man will never want more than sex with me. i was only fooling myself to believe that just because he calls and just because he texts sometimes means that he is interested in more with me. Point is, he probably finds it no hardship to talk to me every once in a while..and he may very well like my body..but as for more.. dont think so.

oh man. sorry to hear that 😢

Ah well ain't that some bullshit hope all goes well. Question1: What made you come to this conclusion.

he always mkaes flirtatious comments in regards to sex...thats the only playful comment he will make...granted, alot of the time i flirt overtly sexual with him..but for me its like im afraid to let him think that i am falling for him..i kinda want him to give me an inidication he is first. Then he always says u know what i LIKE...its almost like he is careful to avoid the word love or any stronger emotion. Today is valentines day in the country that i am in..and he didnt wish me happy valentines, but he asked if a mutual person we know asked me on a date.

Continuation...

So I answered him saying that that was a story...because the guy he was referring to is a trip...but anyway he responded saying he couldnt wait to hear all about it! And then he calls me the following night...i didnt pick up because frankly Im not sure what I want to do here...i mean i want to end it if its only sex and will only be sex for him..but if there is a possibility of more then I want that!

I dont know why he is so interested in knowing about whether i had a date with the guy and how it went...he must be really interested to have called to talk about it...

Capricorns..why !!

So..Capricorn has to go to a city to participate in a contest as one of the judges and he sends me an email asking me if I would like to meet him there for the weekend at the end of October. In the email he says he is trying to decide whether he should go to this contest in this city or come to the city I am in. This would be his last weekend in the country we are both in, and then he leaves a couple days after. So he sends me a text asking me to check my email and to tell him whether I can make it or not.

IN my own cynical mind I am like...oh so this must be his last hoorah..a weekend filled with pleasure and sex with me before he leaves. I have assumed that once he leaves this country, and returns to his own that is it between us. I say this because when people have been travelling they are not entirely living the truth of themselves as they would if they were living at home...

so what do u think....does it say much that he invited me to spend the weekend with him? I cant decide if he is being capricorn shy or if he is not being forthcoming because its just a fling to him.


There is alot of sexual tension between us and i asked a mutual friend what she thought and she thinks that from his behavior around me it was definitely obvious there was something between us. But i cannot be sure if its just a physical thing.

Also the predominant thing on my mind is that he is from South Dakota and i dont know much about there but I have been closed with him because in my mind I feel that SD men marry into appropriate families..and I am mixed and not from the states.

Thoughts?

My thoughts is a bit of advice do not go into things assuming relax you could be wrong.

Maybe you are over thinking this. If you are unsure about how he feels, then you have the power to put the situation at a pace that you want. Men are going to always want sex, that is how they are wired. Some are just more forthright with it then others. And if one claims to be interested in you and not want sex he is either lying about being interested or he is lying about not wanting sex. If he is leaving and you want to see him before he goes and you are available then you should go. If you don't want to have sex with him then don't. Tell him you are on your period or just go for one day if you don't want to be in a situation where you will be tempted to give it up or take one of your girlfriends with you to run interference. If he really likes you then not having sex with you is going to change his thoughts of you and if it does then you know he was turd that jumped out of the toilet. And it is best to find these things out early so you know exactly what you are dealing with. The fact that he is from SD means nothing, if he likes you then it doesn't matter. Be proud of who you are no matter your ethnicity.

What I've realized about these threads is there is a lot of women posting on these boards with low self esteem. Focus on your on life and quit analyzing every single text or every call from him. Enjoy your life and go do things that make you feel good about yourself. Shopping, manicures, pedicures, working out, hobbies, spending time with good friends, etc.

I have not been thinking about capri guy much but he messaged me on fb just the usual niceties..hows ur city, how was ur trip to the coast and told me a lil of whats going on in his city. but i said something about when i was younger and he was like i can see u as a little sexual demon when u were younger. in my mind i was like what...so i was like meaning? and he was like basically how u are now. so i was like ohh so u think im just sex. he was like u know half the things i say arent true. i am always thinking of sex. uhhmm...—

dunno if thats his way of flirting or if he just sees me as sex. this thing between us started out as just sex because i knew he was leaving so i didnt put any thought into it being anything else.

thing is, its weird but even though i dont think i would want anything serious with him because of where i am with him and the circumstances of this situation.. in my mind it now becomes a choice between self respect or self pleasure.

self respect because do i really want to go to his city knowing that im going just for a weekend of sex and we go our separate ways finally and because it seems that he only sees me as sex


and self pleasure because clearly despite what he thinks and how it ends up im just going for sex and pleasure

where i am in my life**