Parent's Opinion

How much your parent's opinion of your love interest influences your decision to pursue the relationship?

hi JD 🙂

to answer your op... is very tough. my family's opinion matters, but they've always been very supportive of any controversial choices that I've made. Family matter's enough to me that their feelings on what I'm doing in my life mean something... how much that meaning weighs in is very tough to measure.

I've always marched to the beat of my own drum and they all know that, but they've cried out that I should consider them more and I try to.

if they were against my commitment in a relationship that i want to commit to, knowing myself... i would probably pursue it anyways.

when things get that kind of momentum with me, it's pretty tough, if at all possible, to get me to change my course.

Hey CP,

Yeah It's definitely tough to measure, I appreciate your answer. Any experience in them clearly disapproving of someone you were interested in but kept going? How comfortable you felt bringing them over in family gatherings and stuff?

Yea... a while ago. A taurus bf. He was 18 yrs older than me 😛. I dated him for 2 and a half yrs and unfortunately never brought him around the family that dissapproved 😢

We ended up breaking up for other reasons but... it was always on my mind.

Hey Ray 🙂

Not a Cap but after my last relationship and the opinions that only came out after all was said and down...I'm going to ask all my friends and family for their honest opinion with the next one I meet.

Totally blew me away on what they felt about him and how blinded I was 😢

It matters but I don't even introduce a guy to my parents unless it's pretty serious.

My current bf has met my parents.
Before that, the last guy to meet my parents was the one I married. Dated in between but I hate to introduce them, then have it not work out, then be asked about what happened to the person.

My parents have liked all but one of my past boyfriends. But I tend to date pretty nice guys who look more or less mainstream.

I HAVE TO WATCH MY FATHER
HE TRYS TO BONE ALL MY WOMEN
BUT SO FAR HAS ONLY HAD ABOUT 40 %

Posted by capgirl69
It matters but I don't even introduce a guy to my parents unless it's pretty serious.

My current bf has met my parents.
Before that, the last guy to meet my parents was the one I married. Dated in between but I hate to introduce them, then have it not work out, then be asked about what happened to the person.

My parents have liked all but one of my past boyfriends. But I tend to date pretty nice guys who look more or less mainstream.

Same here.

But, I'm in my 40's, while it is important to me what my parents think, it is way more important what my teenager and grown daughter think of my boyfriend. (they all like him by the way). If they like him, it makes things a whole lot easier.

Posted by james tate
I HAVE TO WATCH MY FATHER
HE TRYS TO BONE ALL MY WOMEN
BUT SO FAR HAS ONLY HAD ABOUT 40 %

Twisted! 😛

Posted by CreepyPants
Yea... a while ago. A taurus bf. He was 18 yrs older than me 😛. I dated him for 2 and a half yrs and unfortunately never brought him around the family that dissapproved 😢

We ended up breaking up for other reasons but... it was always on my mind.

Interesting, considerable age difference is a common reason for parent's disapproval, though you broke up for other reasons, I can imagine that being with someone you can't bring around makes it quite challenging for the relationship on the long run.

SL: So how would you treat your son's partner if you strongly disapproved of them?

Sangfroid: Why does your father's opinion matter more than the rest of the family?

Everevolving: Just have to make sure your partner's clean prior to meeting.

Jynja: Hey Jynja, best friend with the mother? Her opinion is probably based on how good he was to her 🙂

Sweethearts: I think the opinion of the one's you're closer to definitely matters for long-term prospects.

Capgirl: How was the experience with the one that they didn't like?

James: OMG !!!

TrueCap: Have your teenagers ever disapproved in the past?

Sangfroid,

It's okay, interesting though. What if he had strongly disapproved of your now husband, do you believe the relationship would have made it that far?

Ever,

lol ... you'll have to mix it up with other questions in the conversation, make it flow smoothly not to look weird. Something like ... What do you like doing on your off times? Any STDs? What kind of music do you listen to? Mental illness of any sort? What high-school did you go to? Have you murdered anyone? ... get the idea 😉

Posted by Sangfroid

Posted by Rays Heart
Sangfroid,

It's okay, interesting though. What if he had strongly disapproved of your now husband, do you believe the relationship would have made it that far?

It would've because there's the entire U.S. and the Atlantic between us.🙂 I would've just been putting too much energy into win my dad over and eventually the Leo would've probbbly put paw down and said: "enough!".🙂

Now I realize that my dad is disappointed that I wasn't more rebellious. Go figure! That realization only came to me in the past few days. It's going to take a while to change old habits and...feelings.

click to expand

Ok, the distance between you two, certainly help, sometimes its best to love them from a distance 😉

Ray-
The one they didn't like happened when I was 18. I saw him anyway but eventually I saw what my parents saw: he was controlling, rude, and very negative. And he had a bad temper.

My parents are both Cancers. They are very protective. They definitely made it more difficult for me to see him, but once I moved out and went to college, they couldn't control it.

To this day my mom talks about the guy and how much she hated him.

They LOVE the Scorp. He's on their wavelength. Lol.

Wow, I can only imagine, I only have a cancer mom and I'm afraid it will be all I can afford in this life time. She will remember girlfriends, my brother used to date this pisces girl that she loved very much and til this day she keeps bringing her up, it pisses my brother off and it's been more than five years since they broke up. She refuses to let her go, too funny 😉

Posted by noname

Posted by Rays Heart
How much your parent's opinion of your love interest influences your decision to pursue the relationship?

Because I know how much my parents' little comment can upset me (my parents are the most loving and picky lol), I never bring my SERIOUS love interest to them until it's a done deal until I have built myself and the relationship up to a point that no negative comment can bring doubt. During the process, I'd tell my parents only positive things about him and how he asked about them and stuff lol.

If it's someone that I knew deep down that it wont last and my parents told me to not continue, I would cut it off almost immediately. I have an independent spirit but my parents' approval is something that I can never grow out of.

click to expand

It's probably better you do it that way, so you can take their opinion of your serious interest as constructive as possible.

Posted by Rays Heart

TrueCap: Have your teenagers ever disapproved in the past?

There is one guy, a Cancer, I dated only for a couple of months. I decided he was too crude and I didn't want to be with him anymore. I had felt like my son didn't like him, but he never said anything. My son told me later he only tolerated him and he thought he was goofy and weird. My daughter never met him.