please help!!!!!

I am a Cap....My Gemini boyfriend came over Friday and spent Xmas Eve with me since he was going to have his kids for Christmas....which was okay with me. He showed me and my kids much love for Christmas(he bought us so much)....let me add. I recieved one text from him on Xmas telling me Merry Xmas and that he love me. It's Monday and I haven't heard from him since Christmas(and that was by text) I have all kinda of thoughts going thru my head, but at the same time I have no facts and I don't want to jump to any conclusion. What should I do? I starting to think he might of spent it with the kids and their mom.....HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!

I tried calling and his phone goes straight to voice mail

OMG...this is the same man that gets mad at me when i miss his calls and texts message

I understand your angst but don't let it get to you that bad. A great relationship is built on trust and if you don't have any hard facts that he is doing anything wrong then don't let yourself get into a panic. I know what you mean about the double standard in that men get mad when women don't get their calls/texts right away and I don't think that is necessarily a sign thing only. My ex Scorpio would get steaming mad when I didn't respond right away but heaven forbid if I tried to get on him about not answering mine right away.
It sounds like he really must care about you and your kids a lot if he spent that precious time with you and spent so much money on you and your children. To me that says a lot. A lot of men wouldn't even bother with a woman's kids unless he really has put some stock into that relationship. Give him some time and when you talk don't get on him right away. See if he divulges information on his own. You don't want to have him feeling like you are a clingon that can't handle a little bit of time on your own. Show the independent side that is okay on her own b/c she knows who she is as a woman! 😉

Posted by mebeme
I tried calling and his phone goes straight to voice mail

well then stop smothering him

Posted by ellessque
omg...he's a cap. duh.

No ... "she" is the Cap.
"He" is a Gemini.

Some of these comments are interesting. I thought it was normal to talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend everday?!

Anyway, I would be a little suspicious too, but I would keep cool since there are no facts.

Hi Mebeme....Just got your email

Follow your gut instincts, don't dismiss how you feel because you can't see he's with his baby's mom/another woman, you don't have to see it to know it especially if it's not routine for him to allow his phone to go straight to voice mail, also unless he's stuck in a ditch under a bridge with no phone signal there is no reason for his phone to be off nor any reason why he can't answer his phone unless he's with another woman. IMO you have every right to feel how you feel but at the same time you can't prove or disprove any of it.

So you can decide to dump the guy or just leave it alone, if there is anything to this issue well it will resurface again as time passes, the other option, ask him straight out did he spend time with his kids mom after he left you on Christmas Day, if he stutters and/or gets overly defensive, give some lame excuse why his phone was off and quickly look for an OUT to get off the phone and say something along the lines I'm busy, I can't talk right now, I gotta go I don't have time for this which is the common thing men do when they are not being honest.

If I were you I would be concerned too but I wouldn't dwell on it, I would let it go and from that point on be very mindful of his actions and observant around him....

also he may of went to jail but what's the odds in that happening...another excuse, my phone battery went dead, I lost my cellphone...If you decide to ask him about his behavior whatever excuse he comes up with you will have to decide if it's a lie.

Please dont get me wrong....Him spending time with his kids isn't the problem. My thing is even if you couldn't call me he could have text and said something. The only reason why I didn't text is because I didn't want him to feel as if i was trying to cut in on the time he was spending with his kids. I left that open for him to do once the kids went to bed or something. I sure the kids wasn't around him the whole weekend. He could have text me or call when we went to the restroom or step outside or anything. Why wouldn't anyone that claims they are so much in love with their mate wouldn't want to hear from them. Today is Monday and I just heard from him by text at 2:00pm. He has time to text me now and it only took a few seconds....he could have done this two days ago. OMG!!!!!

It's not a fear....what the hell are you talking about? The shit just doesnt add up. If your man always talk to u everyday and just beacuse he has his kids he doesn't call you what would you think. He had his phone turn off. Im his woman and he always tell me to call him and let him know everything is okay any other time. What if something would have happen? He could at least texted me...come on!!!!!

Just to fill you guys in....she is the type of woman that holds the kids over his head

Which is very wrong....so being his woman(since he gave me that title) i have a problem not being able to speak to my man. It should be a problem to anyone in a real relationship...

I dunno if it's a fear about his ex or not, could be but I took it that her issue seems to be with how he chose to communicate over the weekend. You stated you called and the phone went straight to voice mail and correct me if I'm wrong, he never attempted to call back at any point after that initial call, again I can see your concern yet you can't prove that he was with the kids mom/another woman so no matter how much you dwell on it it's not going to change anything.

Let it go and if you can't let it go then you have to do what you feel is best for you, this is the thing though, just b/c a man professes love for you doesn't mean you 2 are glued at the hip and he's going to be tripping over his phone to get to speak to you, he should have his breathing room to do his life without you getting upset about it.

Do I feel it's a sign that he was with someone like his baby mom, yes possibly because it's only natural for a man to be with his family/kids and baby mom on Christmas Day/during the holidays especially if he's deeply involved in there life, it's just something many women have to deal with that are dating a man with kids and to keep the peace he may have chose not to communicate with you or any woman that could cause an issue and also he may have had other plans to spend time with his guy friends, partying, hanging out, I'm not making up excuses for him, yet he didn't call b/c he didn't want to call, he didn't answer the phone b/c he didn't want to answer his phone, it could have something to do with another woman but the reality is, it doesn't matter if there was another woman around in regards to him not calling b/c men call/communicate/text their significant others/girlfriends/baby mama's while there is another woman around, the reality is he didn't want to speak to you so he didn't answer his phone be it another woman around or not.....On some level you have to accept that.

for your info......i hide them because they put inmature shit! I like grown, mature feed back not bullshit and slugs

Also just b/c a man professes love doesn't mean all his problems go away, he still has to deal with his issues in his life, you already know how the baby mom is so let it go or leave the dude alone b/c the baby is here to stay, he's going to do what it takes to keep the peace with her, he knew if he was talking to you around her she would lose her cool and dangle the kids over his head and to not have to deal with that he chose to stay mute and focus on her and the kids, does that mean he was intimate with her, who knows, possibly but there ain't nothing you can do about that. You just have to decide what's best for you, decide if you can deal with this man and his unresolved issues with his ex, if you can't you can decide to be his friend, stop all intimacy with him to protect you. If your dating a man with kids whose mom is immature and silly then you most likely will not speak to your man especially if he's still being intimate with her.

Thank you!!! Tiki

LOL@*choking*.....tiki is right *choking*. watch and observe.....Oh lord break out the party, I finally managed to get Ellesque approval LMAO!!! Girl you must be choking and having chest pains right about now LOL....So does this mean we friends now? LOL

mebeme you have kids, you already know the deal and now you have to know your worth and because you know your worth your going to do what's in your best interest....Is it really that important to hear I love you over his actions with you....Meaning what's important to you? Is hearing I love you more important than his inability to back his words with actions that align with I love you....You decide

Your welcome Mebeme...I don't know if I helped but I do hope you sort things out and not dwell on the issue.

oh i dont even believe this shyt.

just to fill you all in on how you have all been deceived.

Mebeme, has been with this guy for 3 years. She hasnt even met his kids, but he has met her kids.

She also posted this same blog in the Gemini thread and got some REAL sound advice but discredited us because we didnt but into her "crazy."

I called her a selfish jumpoff who forgot her place in the world.

she lives in total fear of the other baby mama, why? because she is a baby mama and she knows the ways of a baby mama. if you didnt fear that other girl, why bash her?

she got her panties in a bunch because her so called man who was nice enough to buy her selfish ass gifts and buy gifts for her kids didnt call her and only sent her a little text.

shes selfish and controlling, and expects everyone to see her pov and overlook all the other problems and red flags that she doesnt care about.

this girl has some real issues and it isnt the fact that her gemini isnt calling.

in how many ways do people have to keep telling you this:

your man is not your man. he is still sleeping with the mother of his kids and you are a side dish. stop bringing men around your kids. you need to be more concerned with WHY you havent met his kids in 3 years.

his phone is off because your bothering him while he's trying to be a family with his kids and screw his kids mom.

if you were his girlfriend for 3 years, you dont sound like a confident GF. you sound like a jumpoff who has lost her place in the world.

DMV, why so harsh? I'm noticing that some of us cappies must have an extremely strong presence to make others get so worked up and out of character, or is this the real you?

If someone isn't seeing your point then move on from the discussion. I never understand the need to bash a grown person just because they are not following your advice, then to turn around and call that person controlling? You are coming off as the controlling person and hitting below the belt, why? If she's jealous or concerned with the ex then that's her problems and an issue she has to deal with, but your comments towards her and the situation makes you look just as low whether you realize it or not. She had no problems accepting tikis advice and I'm sure that's for a reason.

Mebeme, not sure what's going on or the history of the story but if you don't want people coming at you then maybe you shouldnt bash the other woman who isn't here to defend herself.

Posted by tooseriouslol
u know, in real life, the capgals i know do not participate in cat fights. i'm not saying anyone here is participating but it's interesting that i have seen several capgals became the target of cat fight gathering lol on dxp.

I honestly think we can have an influence over the energy of some because we can come off strong, its just too bad that influence tends so be negative at times. My thing is, the girl is upset and venting so she's probably going to attack the guy, his girlfriend, and whoever else. If you are going to say something and give advice just keep it real and say maybe you should not focus so much on the mother of his kids, but on his actions. The mother is going. To do what she wants and look out for herself how any womabn would, but you are not sleeping with her but him. You don't have to make silly comments like you are lost in life and a jumpoff. Really? That is not necessary and I read these attacks a lot when caps vent.

Posted by kstarks2
oh boy here we go with this shit...

You of all people should know what it feels like to get attacked after venting. Maybe it doesn't bother you but its irritating for me to read, so I'm going to say what I feel about it. You seem to like drama though, so right up you alley huh?


Elle, I mean really? Is it that serious. Your acting like you were decieved by your child or something. This is a grown woman people.

lol How is she a gold digger tho??

Hmm I only skimmed, but didn't see anything. Oh well.

How do yall gather she doesn't care about her kids simply because she's questioning why she hasn't heard from him?


Sounds like a stretch.

my husband is gemini and there is not one day I call him and he doesnt pick up the phone...no matter what...and he calls me constantly....so I would be worried too

Posted by kstarks2

Posted by lnana04

Posted by kstarks2
oh boy here we go with this shit...

You of all people should know what it feels like to get attacked after venting. Maybe it doesn't bother you but its irritating for me to read, so I'm going to say what I feel about it. You seem to like drama though, so right up you alley huh?


Elle, I mean really? Is it that serious. Your acting like you were decieved by your child or something. This is a grown woman people.

Quite frankly, I think you're one of the most fake people around here...I already addressed you in my prior threads didn't i? Now you wanna come in here playing captain save a hoe. please.

No one is "attacking" her. DMV was simply stating FACTS that she conveniently left out. She's been running around these boards, like the bird she is, giving half the story...And you defending her only proves that birds of a feather flock together...

I keep it real...But in the real world? Capricorns don't volunteer their opinion/advice on anyone, however ONLY when you solicit our opinion/advice. THEN get ready for the REAL. you may hate us. but we could care less if you take the advice or not but we know we gave you the truth from OUR perspective.

click to expand

Chile, please! You don't know jack about me in real life or on these boards to call me fake. I don't have my business spread around and I'm calling it like I see it. If you can't give decenty advice then you need to keep your dramatic behinds out of these threads. Yeah, I maybe I'm being a bit dramatic myself but everyone here is grown and I've read enough of foolishness on here from all of you to know for a fact none of y'all are above the sillyness.

And elle, how is/was it possible for her to manipulate the story for the answers she wanted to hear if you now know the history? It sounds like she posted what's been going on in her life. Whether she deleted it or not, that's her business, but y'all are crossing the line talking about what kind of mother y'all THINK she is. I could easily judge the type of parents some of you are just by what's been posted on these boards. Let's not go there, and let's not use this place to place judgement. I mean, really? I doubt that's what these boards are fo

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by DMV
in how many ways do people have to keep telling you this:

your man is not your man. he is still sleeping with the mother of his kids and you are a side dish. stop bringing men around your kids. you need to be more concerned with WHY you havent met his kids in 3 years.

his phone is off because your bothering him while he's trying to be a family with his kids and screw his kids mom.

if you were his girlfriend for 3 years, you dont sound like a confident GF. you sound like a jumpoff who has lost her place in the world.

Damn D you did go kinda hard on her. LOL Why the label though? Is she a jumpoff for real or are you just at odds because of the other thread?

click to expand

nope, shes a jumpoff

she lied to you all, kept game-changing advice from you and others and it isnt right.

then again, if you like the wool being thrown over you eyes...carry on

she has no extreme presence..please dont flatter her.

this is me. i call BS when i see it happening.

Posted by ellessque
okay, I'm real pissed now. i fell into all her nonsense bullshit and actually felt sorry for the hefer. defended her honor in the presence of caligula, which sucks BIGTIME when I'm wrong. I will not eat crow and like it.

fuck that.

how the hell you going to bitch about this man you've been seeing for "3 years" and your ass had been seeing an aqua last summer? ....and what about the virgo?

you are a sorry ass trick who needs to learn to take care of herself and stop mooching off these damn men.

it is also a damn shame that you probably introduced all three of these men to your children.

*SMH*

...and another thing, you don't deserve to have a phone.

be real or get the fuck out.

and this just further infuriates me

yup. thats the board she started on...

Posted by kstarks2
WHAT——————??

Do I have to remind you of your fake and phony behavior I SAW with my own fucking 2 EYES——— hmmmm lets take a trip down memory lane...

Oh you thought i forgot? You were oh so nice giving me advice and cheering me on over on "Pisces board" but when a thread in my honor was created and it was said that I was DELETED OFF DXP. Did you or did you NOT talk SHIT about me? Did you or did you NOT being to bash me? Oh but you're soooo fucking positive right? You HATE negativity right? You're SOOOOO fucking grown right? you're above he silliness right— Right? Get the fuck outta here.

Drama I can handle. Curse me out til your blue in the face, tell me a million trillion times how much you hate me and wish all kinds of shit on me but when a person disguises themselves to be genuine turns out to be phony and fake. Fuck you. And it will always be "Fuck you".

A thread created in your honor? Ha! When was this?

And all I said was that you didn't seem like a Cap after talking about someones mom being dead etc, and you started talking like that after I defended you. My comments had nothing with you or the thread being deleted, and you bold your letters as if I was afraid or something. Anyway, I didn't talk # $ @ $ or hit below the belt with any of my comments. If you call that talking @# $ % on you then you haven't seen the half. That was nothing.

Wool over our eyes? That's not the point in what I'm saying. I'm not about to read her history because I don't care. My point is the bashing. Why do you all care so much to hit below the belt with those comments talking about she's a bad parent, and saying she's lost in life? What did she do to YOU? What puts you in the position to judge? That's all..

Posted by kstarks2
Seems like the OP looking for someone to tell her something OTHER than the truth...


http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2341680

DMV you were so out of line here sweetie. You will never call your behavior what it is/was though, I'm sure.

Posted by lnana04

Posted by kstarks2
Seems like the OP looking for someone to tell her something OTHER than the truth...


http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2341680

DMV you were so out of line here sweetie. You will never call your behavior what it is/was though, I'm sure.

click to expand

and what is my behavior exactly..do tell sugarplum

as soon as you do something i find dishonorable...i will call you out on it 2...believe that

this reminds me of an interview with Terrell Owens and OchoCinco..

TO gave 85 the truth and 85 couldnt take it, but in the end 85 knew what the deal was.

im a sag and i dont hold back.

Posted by ellessque
why smile and say "wow, that's nice dear, great job" when you know it's a damn lie?

please tell me I have the booger on my face. i beg you.

Who says that you have to say that? Don't reach. You know good and well there's a right and wrong way to give advice or tell someone something, especially if you want to be heard. Let's not play around here.

I would have no problems saying "elle, you have a booger on you face." What I WOULDN'T say is "elle, you have a booger on your face. That is disgusting! You are a grown woman, you need to make sure you check your mirror as often as possible. It makes no sense!"

Posted by DMV
im a sag and i dont hold back.

You hold back. You seem to be real selective with your delivery when it comes to some. You get away with what you think you can. Lets not pretend.

Posted by lnana04

Posted by DMV
im a sag and i dont hold back.

You hold back. You seem to be real selective with your delivery when it comes to some. You get away with what you think you can. Lets not pretend.

click to expand

like what...do tell

i want evidence goatie!

Posted by kstarks2

Posted by lnana04

Posted by kstarks2
WHAT——————??

Do I have to remind you of your fake and phony behavior I SAW with my own fucking 2 EYES——— hmmmm lets take a trip down memory lane...

Oh you thought i forgot? You were oh so nice giving me advice and cheering me on over on "Pisces board" but when a thread in my honor was created and it was said that I was DELETED OFF DXP. Did you or did you NOT talk SHIT about me? Did you or did you NOT being to bash me? Oh but you're soooo fucking positive right? You HATE negativity right? You're SOOOOO fucking grown right? you're above he silliness right— Right? Get the fuck outta here.

Drama I can handle. Curse me out til your blue in the face, tell me a million trillion times how much you hate me and wish all kinds of shit on me but when a person disguises themselves to be genuine turns out to be phony and fake. Fuck you. And it will always be "Fuck you".

A thread created in your honor? Ha! When was this?

And all I said was that you didn't seem like a Cap after talking about someones mom being dead etc, and you started talking like that after I defended you. My comments had nothing with you or the thread being deleted, and you bold your letters as if I was afraid or something. Anyway, I didn't talk # $ @ $ or hit below the belt with any of my comments. If you call that talking @# $ % on you then you haven't seen the half. That was nothing.

Now you're a liar AND phony... you just said "When was this?" like you don't have know what i'm talking about... then say "All i said was..." Oh now you know what i'm talking about? Pick a side and STAY THERE. What do you mean it had nothing to do with me or the thread being deleted? Seriously, do you hear yourself? You entered a thread knowing it was created BECAUSE OF ME and now you say "it" nothing to do with me. Seriously, are you stupid?

Bottom line, you couldn't say what you said when I was ON the board which means your a punk ass liar.

AND no i don't wanna see the other half of your phoniness.

click to expand

Girl calm down. You said "In Your Honor" like you are a celebrity or something and that's what I was commenting on. I know exactly what thread you were referring to.

We went back and forth after you came back, just how we are going back and forth now. If you even for a second think I am afraid of you then you can remove those thoughts because that is NOT the case. Besides, saying that you dont sound like a Cap is NOT going at you. Come on now!

I am again and to be honest, if this scenario had been presented to me by my sister I would have told her the same thing. Gems will give it to you straight. No sugar coating here. Cappy's are extremely different. Not wrong,but different. That young lady got the advice she needed at the time she needed it. I see value in the way both forums gave advice. we must respect everyone's opinion and delivery though. Harsh, kind, or whatever, it is still valid and relevant. Let the use of the forum happen organically. I'm only making a point to say mention this because its why I joined the forum in the first place.

me 2... i felt like the people of DXP gave straight up advice.

Posted by TheGift
I am again and to be honest, if this scenario had been presented to me by my sister I would have told her the same thing. Gems will give it to you straight. No sugar coating here. Cappy's are extremely different. Not wrong,but different. That young lady got the advice she needed at the time she needed it. I see value in the way both forums gave advice. we must respect everyone's opinion and delivery though. Harsh, kind, or whatever, it is still valid and relevant. Let the use of the forum happen organically. I'm only making a point to say mention this because its why I joined the forum in the first place.

I didn't read all of your posts in the other thread, but from what I did read, I think you gave very good advice. It wasn't sugarcoated, yet you were not rude or judgmental. How could anyone not appreciate that?

My sun sign is Gemini and my moon in Capricorn. Also, when I'm in a room or situation with another gemini or similar personality, I soften the blow for the person receiving the advice or criticism. Its part of my dual nature to be the harsh boss or nurturing friend. So I restrain my harsh hand and offered a gentle one. I hope this makes sense to you. I was with a Cappy man for 7 years and I would beg him sometimes for his blunt and honest opinion. He wouldn't and we are still like strangers partly due to that.