That's 3 Strikes for this Cap, right—

NOTE:
We are NOT boyfriend-girlfriend.
We are at the beginning stages of getting to know one another.
We have only established that feelings are mutual and there were some talks of the future.
We have only made out. Have not had sex except a couple times sexting.


STRIKE 1: Already pulled the disappearing goat act once. Only lasted a week. Has resurfaced since.
STRIKE 2: Admitted he is "emotionally unavailable" right now and "damaged"
STRIKE 3: Admitted he had sex with his ex "a few times" since break up. They broke up in February. I met him mid April.


THINGS HE SAID ON THE CONTRARY:
-"You are truly a special person and I would love to even attempt a romance."
-"So its not you. I would love to move on and what better person than you. But I just can't start anything right now."

HIS SITUATION:
"Transitioning back into the dating scene."
Dated ex for 2 years, cohabited during 1 year of that. She moved out 3 months ago. He got dumped.

THE PINK ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM:
-What the bleep is he doing still boinking his ex and who is initiating this when he was the one who supposedly got dumped?!
-He said it this way, "I slept with her a few times since break up But thats all." ---THAT'S ALL— What else was there left to do? Her butt!? Marriage?!


Alright, your thoughts....GO

oh here is his chart.... He is 26-years-old.

Sun Capricorn
Moon Cancer
Mercury Sagittarius
Venus Capricorn
Mars Scorpio
Jupiter Aquarius
Saturn Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Taurus
Asc node Taurus

He's not over his ex. He's being honest with you. Take his words and what he's saying for what it is.

Throw out your "policies" first. Secondly, Strike #2 would have been both Strike 1 AND 3 for me.

He straight up told you that he's not available. It sucks but he's actually doing you a favor and it's honorable. He gave you the out. You stuck around. Of course he compliments you because this has nothing to do with you or not liking you. He's into you, but not over "it" aka "her". You gotta see it for what it is even if it's less than you'd hoped.

Thanks for the tough love you guys...I appreciate direct answers. That's why I love it here at dxp!

xo

P.S.- I am not going to wait around for this mothertrucker. I hope its comfortable there in the past. I could've been his future. Some people can be such idiots. That's what happens when you let your emotions run the show and tell the mind to take a seat in the back. ...smh

Well, he could have strung you along and admitted this later on. I personally think it's best to know upfront what the deal is, and really, he did do you a favor in letting you know this before you got too attached. That in itself says he likes you, or at-least respects you.

I'm not sure what more you could ask for, but the truth.

Oh yes, don't get me wrong. I have a lot of respect for his honesty and personal responsibility. Absolutely. In true Cap fashion, nothing more nothing less so good for him/me.

Even when they've done you wrong it's like they still do it with taste. Gotta let someone go and say goodbye, oh no problem you can always count on a Cap to do so in style . Leaving you with your dignity still intact. I mean, that's class.

Respect his honesty and directness and leave him alone, don't drag him through some hyper-imaginative and highly strung superfluous crap,

Posted by Metoo
So, you were waiting to hear back from him, he said he needed to process things...is this what he came back and told you?

Yes and something else that's a real big deal actually, but even I'm still coming to terms with it so I don't even want to mention it on here eventhough you guys are just strangers. But it was enough to turn me off. It was larger than the fact that he still resorts to Ex Sex and speaking of that, i don't know why but thats enough to break my trust before i was even done building trust for him! I have run all possible scenarios I can think of in my mind and I do not see a win-win situation that would benefit me at all, not now or ever. I'm fine really.

Posted by ShahBano
Respect his honesty and directness and leave him alone, don't drag him through some hyper-imaginative and highly strung superfluous crap,

uhhhhhhhhhmm... okay?



Anyways, yes I respect him and appreciate his style .

Hi TMS. I've responded to you in another post referring to the "tests" that Caps may likely put you through in the early stages of getting to know a person and deciding on whether to persue something more.

You seemed to have appreciated the feedback from everyone and had made a decision to leave it alone. Then this thread. I'm not here to judge just give an opinion. That said...multiple threads on basically the same issue about the same Cap would indicate that you may be one of those women who can't "let it go" and are partially turned on by the unavaible allure of a Cap man which only make you want to "capture" him and his heart even more although he told you without games, BS or the like that he's not ready to be into you or anyone else since he's not over the ex who he likely isn't just sleeping with occassionally for something to pass the time away. Yes, he may like you but not enough to commit to only you and certainly not enough to give up the emotional and physical connection to the ex I don't care what he says. He's actions are the only "words" you need to hear to know the deal. This isn't a challenge you can conquer only a set up for heart break, anger and disillusionment.

There is nothing more sexy than an elusive man and especially a Cap one. My Cap has enough psycho ex's from his past to attest to that allure and the dangerous consequences of women who can't leave it be. Don't be one of those women. He respected you enough to be honest. Take that as a show of real friendship and keep it moving. When he is ready to let the ex and his issues go and is ready for a relationship and especially one with you...you will know and the opinions of the DXP folks won't matter one way or the other. It isn't rocket science. He is emotionally unavailable and damaged. His words. Stay his friend and leave it at that. Date others. Go on with your life and show him that you want more than leftovers emotionally or physcially which is all he can offer right now. Show him you are worth more than disppearing acts and settling for unavailability and damaged goods and he will either put up or shut up. Okay...lecture over. Hope in the end it is your love of self that propels your next move. Either way best of luck.

I am glad your fine and came to the conclusion it wont be a win win, thats showing strength and maturity on your part! on to bigger and better things! 🙂

Thank you 🙂 It was a good way to ring in my summer in a positive vibe. My next 3 months will carry the theme of **Summer of Self-Preservation 2012** I literally met that Cap on the first night I went out as a single girl. I had just broken up with my ex of almost 4 years (the night before!) and was looking forward to being on my own two feet again. It was surreal to meet someone so wonderful--ALREADY!?!? ...But nobody gets away that easily from a breakup. (I'm referring to both myself & the Cao) ...I knew that eventually I had to face the music on my own, and now is my time. Cap may have talked about the future with me, but I already had my own before he even walked into my life that night. Everything is gonna be okay. It was wonderful while it lasted- and now onto my future....