Transfer Update

The Cap found out about my transfer request and came into my office yesterday, closed the door, and apologized for what happened. He said he understands the predicament he put us both in and am sorry for it. Said he understands and respects my decision to request the transfer but would be sorry to see me go, especially to know I'm transferring due to what happened between us.

I told him that we both created this predicament and while I appreciate his concern, I feel it's best I follow thru on this request (if corporate approves it).

Before he left, I asked him if he minded if I gave him some advice and he said yes. I told him "I know from our conversations that you're unhappy in your marriage, but before you do anything else to hurt or betray your wife, think twice. We both acted on some attractions we have for one another, but we disrespected your marriage."

Before he opened up the office door to leave, he said "I agree. She and I actually talked over the weekend and we have agreed that we should divorce because she's been unhappy for a while, too." Then he left. I wanted to wring his neck for throwing that kink in there.

Sounds like you and he both are making steps in the right direction for your respective lives. Who knows what the future may hold for the opportunity at a real relationship between you two down the road. At the very least, if he is truly serious about ending his marriage, you won't have to betray yourself by settling for less than you deserve from him or any man by being the "other" woman. If Cap is serious about you and after he has found closure with his wife if he wants to start fresh with you and you are willing and free to do so then take a chance. Good luck HP.

HP He's just a manipulative person. I don't know why you even bother.

Colour me judgemental and cynical but if you fall for that divorce crap.

IT'S CALLED HOOK LINE AND SINK HER.

Where did I say I fell for it?

I'd like to believe he's serious about the divorce, only because of the timing of saying it. Like he didn't run to her with the info, nor did he insert it after letting her talk. He just added it because she asked, but ya never really know, so I wouldn't fall or assume anything either.

If it IS true, I really wish him and his wife can work things out.

Good that you are doing what's best for you.

My bad, I see that his situation wasn't asked, but I still think the timing made me believe that he was serious about it.

Posted by M
It's surprising how many people can avoid the drama and hurt or any other BS if they only talked with their partner. Or ended things before rolling into something else.

Worst case it's really awkward and really sticky but I doubt it would be moreso than just outright betrayal, hurt, cheating.

(Using the post as platform, not necessarily speaking to the OP :p)

1+

Laughing :-)

I didn't feel like dragging out our conversation any longer, so when he said that he and his wife have decided to divorce, I will be honest that it did make me wonder if the talk was prompted because he told his wife what happened when we went to San Antonio.

Regardless though, I can't allow myself to dwell on this. It's a sinking ship either way. If I stay at the same office, it will be awkward. Or let's say that he does divorce and pursues me more actively, I will always wonder in the back of my mind if he'd cheat on me.

Even if the transfer is granted, I will still have to work with him on projects, but my role would change as I wouldn't be traveling with him any longer.

I suppose this will become my venting thread.

I had the day off today. I let a handful of people know this earlier in the week, including Cap. He called me 3 times yesterday (business related but I still wonder why he calls vs. just emailing) while he was traveling and during one of the conversations, he said he'd discuss the matter more on Friday and I told him I wouldn't be in the office as I was taking a vacation day. I also told him that I was traveling all next week and wouldn't be in the office.

Fast forward to about 4pm today. I'm at home doing some housecleaning (yuck) and my phone chimes. One of the ways that people in my office communicate is via text, so I looked at my phone and there was a text from him. He asked if I was in St. Louis yet for business. I didn't answer him right away because I was pondering if he really forgot that I said I was taking a vacation day before next week or if he was coming up with a reason to contact me. 10 minutes or so later, I reply "Not until Monday. Vacation day today". He replied with "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm sorry. Sorry to bother you on your day off. I'll call you Monday to talk about (the project we're working on)."

I am probably giving this too much thought and making it out to be more than what it is...

He's not sorry to bother you...He's chasing you and I believe someone said this would happen and yeah it's happening.

Houstonpeach, I've been following your story. you and i have similar situations except the capricorn who is pursuing me isn't married (he's divorced).

Everything that I've read tells me that this unmistakable chemistry between the two of you and I can imagine how much struggling you've encountered to not give in to his charm. When he said that he and his wife agreed on a divorce, did he mention that he told his wife about what happened on the business trip (the kiss)?

I agree with Tiki above, too. From what I have learned about the Capricorn in my life is that they don't forget much and if he "forgot" that you had a day off, I am guessing he missed seeing you at the office and wanted some way to say hi or have contact with you on your day off. I do believe he's chasing you and from what you've posted in other threads, the two of you have phenomenal chemistry that neither of you can just pull apart. Good luck...keep us/me posted.

he sounds like a slfish person...men talk and it sounds like poetry especially when they are flattering you but if they dont have any respect for you then you mean nothing to them your just a trophy to win.
A lot of flowery talk sounds like respect but real respect would be to stop massaging their own ego by trying to get you to admire them and value them and be their best 'friend'

its selfish to wind someone up and string them along just so you can feel attractive or handsome