Update on my Capricorn (Page 2)

Posted by lnana04
MP is going to make sure she stays at that beach too LoL!

LOL!

MP please darling, don't do this to yourself, I warned you, others warned you and you are still stuck on stupid, the man is DONE, it's over, there isn't even a friendship now, you got shoved deep down in the acquaintance box and you are, he's told you in the nicest possible way he's not interested, why he can't be friends, why he can't sleep with you, yes he showered you with a bit of affection and attention when you got into town but I know by his responses to you he regret leading you on because that most likely wasn't his true intentions, IMO anything he does that is affectionate would feel like he's into you TO YOU, you can't take a hug as just a hug if you like a guy, the hug must mean something else, something you wish or want it to be, he can't even touch you without you reading it all wrong so he did the right thing, he chose to leave you alone and he moved on and you should too. He can't even help you on the beach without you reading something into it, that can get on a man's nerves real fast, make him not want to be anything with you for fear things will turn scary. He called you Psycho right? That's not good.

Tiki, I didn't say that I think he still wants me. I clearly said in my response above that we are back to ACQUAINTANCES now. Anything polite that he says or does towards me is taken as a sign of mutual respect and that he doesn't wish for us to be enemies or hold any grudges towards each other. We had a talk yesterday in person and neither of us wants that. If he gives me a hug or speaks to me in public, or anything else, it's just because he prefers not to treat me like an enemy by ignoring me or being mean to me. I didn't say it was because he wants me or anything, sheesh!! He knows that I have issues and I'm learning more that he has issues of his own. It is what it is.

Sweetie...you're killing me here! LOL Yes he may have issues but his issues have NOTHING to do with you! Even your issues with him aren't about him they are about YOU WITH YOU!!! Yes there were 5 other lifeguards to assist you but in the same regard there are 5 other beaches you could have gone to if you weren't still acting crack-addicted for this man's attention. I give him props for being the gentlemen (or trying to be) where you are concerned because a restraining order would be next in line. Have you ever seen the movie Play Misty For Me with Clint Eastwood and a great actress named Jessica Walters? Early 70's? If not then I suggest you rent it and then you will see how you are coming across to this guy and most of those people who have responded to your threads genuinely trying to help you. Knowing you have issues is one thing but dealing with them is what is needed and I fear you aren't ready to do that yet. I really hope you get the help you need so you can find the happiness you deserve but can't get to until you get out of your own way.

Oh geez, all I'm saying is that if he wants to approach me in public and speak to me when he sees me, he is welcome to. If he wants to text me, he is welcome to If he wants to offer advice or assistance with something, he is welcome to. If he wants to participate in a group outing with friends of which I am included, he is welcome to. If he chooses to completely ignore me, then that too is his choice and I will not chase him down and make him acknowledge me. And I am NOT going to drive to another beach 30 miles out of my way when he has already told me to my face that I do not need to avoid him. Those were HIS exact words. So if he's OK with being in my vicinity or acknowledging me in some way, then I'm fine with that. I'm not going to create any unnecessary drama or problems if he doesn't.

And in case anyone still doesn't understand what I'm saying, let me simplify it: He says he wants us to civil to one another. I said I want us to be civil to one another, too. He says he does not want me to go out of my way to avoid him. I said I do not want to go out of my way to avoid him either. This is coming from our in- person talk yesterday. We have hurt each other badly, but we do not want to fight or be enemies. So we're going to maintain a level of respect and civility towards each other. I do not see anything wrong with this and it's probably the best outcome that could possibly come out of this mess.

*smh*

Posted by lildol
*smh*

Well do you think it would be better if we hated each other and both went out of our way to avoid and ignore each other? That's extra drama that neither of us wants, and his friends don't want to see that either. I don't see anything wrong with us being polite and respectful to one another now that we have hashed through everything. I have enough people I'm avoiding at the moment and I'd rather not add another to the list.

If another beach was 30 miles away, I wouldn't drive there either, but I would think he covered a certain area of the beach, or that it wasn't that small to where the two of you would constantly see each-other. I wouldn't avoid him but I wouldn't always be in his space either, but that's just me.

Ehh it's not really that big of a beach. So if he's OK with it then so am I.

It's all very Baywatch vs Fatal Attraction isn't it?!?

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Ehh it's not really that big of a beach. So if he's OK with it then so am I.

Yeah, cause it alll revolves around him right?! smh lol

Self`-deg`ra`da??tion
n. 1. The act of degrading one's self, or the state of being so degraded

Posted by MissBizarre
It's all very Baywatch vs Fatal Attraction isn't it?!?

Hey he's free to right back to ignoring me again if that's his wish. I'm just mirroring his actions right now. If he's still civil, then I will be too. He said that's what he wanted anyway.

I hope this thread never, ever ends 😉

^^^ lol^^^ Cow Puncher, please help Ms. Mermaid...

Mirroring his actions?

So basically you are his creation when he's around, and he's not even aware of it.

I know the whole creation thing may sound extreme, but mirroring actions can come across as not having a mind of your own. You are so revolved around him girly.

Maybe when she leaves Florida he will be safe and she will let go of the obsession. I hope so for her sake. Obsession is NOT just a perfume.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Maybe when she leaves Florida he will be safe and she will let go of the obsession. I hope so for her sake. Obsession is NOT just a perfume.

I hope she does. I think she said she's moving down there though.

Mirroring his actions means I view the situation as he does. If he wants to be cool about this and not cause unnecessary drama, then that's what I will do. In fact, we're all hanging out in a group together right now as we speak. No drama, no bitchassness.

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Mirroring his actions means I view the situation as he does. If he wants to be cool about this and not cause unnecessary drama, then that's what I will do. In fact, we're all hanging out in a group together right now as we speak. No drama, no bitchassness.

Have fun!

Posted by pink786
MD for your own dignity how about avoiding him?

I don't think you will but if I was to predict the rest of your story with him, this is how it would go......you continue to have 'friendly' encounters where you continue to over analyse his feelings for you, then as time goes (maybe months or even another year you could waste) at some point he will probably meet someone, then when you see him with a new woman, who he may even be falling for, I think that's when you will realise you don't have a chance to get back with him, but I think all the prior courteous and polite encounters will transform into built up resentment and you will explode at his new relationship and be plotting revenge, by this time his patience will have run out and things may get nasty as he will be wanting to steer away from your drama and may just tell you to get lost (which you seem to be waiting for)... then the penny will drop and the obsession will finally die down.


Now that anecdote was just my prediction, I may be wrong, I dont know you or him, but ive seen a similar situation with my friend, so rather than waste more days, months, time on him, get over it and forget this fake 'friends' rubbish when what you really are doing is waiting for signs to confirm this belief you have that he is the love of your life. He isn't, and never can be.

Yeah, this is pretty much how I see it playing out as well. I think part of her wants him to eat his words, especially about the part where he said wouldn't sleep with her. Like she wants to force him to cave in, and if he's attracted to her he'll most likely eventually do it. Still, that won't mean much of anything after the act.

Really though, he's nearly as much to blame as she is at this point.

Posted by pink786
MD for your own dignity how about avoiding him?

I don't think you will but if I was to predict the rest of your story with him, this is how it would go......you continue to have 'friendly' encounters where you continue to over analyse his feelings for you, then as time goes (maybe months or even another year you could waste) at some point he will probably meet someone, then when you see him with a new woman, who he may even be falling for, I think that's when you will realise you don't have a chance to get back with him, but I think all the prior courteous and polite encounters will transform into built up resentment and you will explode at his new relationship and be plotting revenge, by this time his patience will have run out and things may get nasty as he will be wanting to steer away from your drama and may just tell you to get lost (which you seem to be waiting for)... then the penny will drop and the obsession will finally die down.


Now that anecdote was just my prediction, I may be wrong, I dont know you or him, but ive seen a similar situation with my friend, so rather than waste more days, months, time on him, get over it and forget this fake 'friends' rubbish when what you really are doing is waiting for signs to confirm this belief you have that he is the love of your life. He isn't, and never can be.

^^^^THIS +1

Whoop there it is! Real Truth! But I'm sure MP will talk circles around this as to why she has to stick with this phony charade of friendship out, especially when she comes across as if she's obsessed with continuing being friendly acquiantances...no no no she can't let it go, squeeze it to the last drop until it gets so awkward that he has to completely avoid her to get her to go away, if she can't figure this out all on her own, he'll have to ignore her completey, forget friendly, I'm annoyed, done, just go away, so he'll have to pull out his mean jerk Cap and for some Caps that can be the last resort, he seems like a nice Cap, so I'm sure he's hoping she'll get the hint and go away without him having to be a complete asshole towards her.

Posted by pink786
I think also because she feels that he has a strong attraction to her and because as she states, many men want sleep with her, i think this also gives her hope, possibly the small amount of self esteem she has lies in her physical exterior. She must understand that many men who value character and persona, are not easily tempted by beautiful woman, and even if they give in to their desire through the woman wearing a tight sexy black dress as MP did, once the lustful feelings have passed, reality settles.

+1

Pink786 is ON point

And to add, this is the struggle MP see's when she's alone with him, she see him being very attentive because of his physical attraction towards her and for her that is her hope, it doesn't matter if he's scared of her emotionally, thinks she's psycho because as long as he responds to his attraction for her physically favorably then it's still a chance for her, he know she isn't emotionally healthy but she's attractive (he's physically attracted to her but he know this is a fleeting feeling not so dependable feeling) and he know he'd regret sleeping with her b/c he wouldn't be able to get rid of her afterwards, she won't walk away politely, she'd bombard him with seething text messages and who knows what else and he know they wouldn't be able to go back into friendly acquaintance mode with her so now he's just hoping she'll go away, with a woman that is insecure or suffers from depression or some kind of mental disorder or has damaged self esteem or all of the above well this kind of dynamic can be explosive, it's not safe, it's not secure for her, that's why it's just better to avoid men that can trigger so many hostile negative feelings, it's not a good combination.

Well since you all think you are experts on this subject, then explain this one to me--he called me a crazy bitch last week and yet I just learned that for the last few days he's been telling his friends that I'm a sweet girl. A few of them went out to eat with me last night since it's my last day here, and I happened to see a text from him to one of his friends saying so. I don't understand, this kid talks out both sides of his mouth. One minute he says I'm a "crazy bitch" and the next he is telling everyone that I'm a cool person. Maybe there's something I'm missing here, but I didn't think it was possible to be both a mean bitch and a good person in someone's eyes. You wouldn't think he would want a crazy bitch to hang out and associate with his friends. In fact, I just told him yesterday "You'll be rid of me in a few days, so I'm sure you'll be glad you won't have to see me around anymore and want to throw up." To which he replied "That's not true, you think too much." This guy is just weird and I don't have the patience to try to understand what goes on inside his head anymore; I just really don't care.

Posted by MermaidPrincess
This guy is just weird and I don't have the patience to try to understand what goes on inside his head anymore; I just really don't care.

NUFF said. Now please..GO in peace.

@MP: Everything points to the fact that he doesn't have a problem with you as a person, you're just not relationship material. It's that simple, so quit trying to read anything more into it!

Exactly lildol! I've tried to tell her that lol.

I agree TAURUSbelle.

can this be really happening?
how can a person go so deep wandering in such a wasteland?
i read all the posts from the page 1 till the last one,she does not seem capable of understanding what everyone is trying to put across her. she does not want answers to her question, she wants affirmation to her self-created assumptions. God forbid if i am sounding judgmental,but she must not let herself sink down further than this.
MP please help yourself, it's your life and pain and regrets which you are incurring will likely to haunt you ever.
stay sane,stay content.

Posted by ElusiveSoul
Ohh my...and this thread is still going as well....must be something in the air these days that's making people quite consistent ...well at least in posting ...hmm wonder if that's a good or a bad thing....circumstantial I suppose !!

because i had nothing else to do right now,i was reading Portrait of a Lady by Henry James and just got tired
does it sound mean?

Posted by ElusiveSoul

Posted by ShahBano

Posted by ElusiveSoul
Ohh my...and this thread is still going as well....must be something in the air these days that's making people quite consistent ...well at least in posting ...hmm wonder if that's a good or a bad thing....circumstantial I suppose !!

because i had nothing else to do right now,i was reading Portrait of a Lady by Henry James and just got tired
does it sound mean?

NAhh SB...you are fine dear lol....this is not MP's first thread I you know...people have invested their precious time in giving her advice but it just doesn't seem to be ringing any bells 😢

click to expand

She's a fixed sign. I know all too well how some of them operate. She actually reminds me of my mother(Aqua) and her 10yr relationship with a Cap, which was just as crazy as anything posted here. I eventually learned that NOTHING I told her mattered because she was fixed on him, and was going to do what she wanted to do. You simply cannot get through to some of them when they are set on something.

I'm also FULLY aware that she's in a zone, and can't nobody snap her out of it. She'll say she's done or don't care, and you will THINK you've gotten through to her, but it will start all over again. It's just how it goes.

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Well since you all think you are experts on this subject, then explain this one to me--he called me a crazy bitch last week and yet I just learned that for the last few days he's been telling his friends that I'm a sweet girl. A few of them went out to eat with me last night since it's my last day here, and I happened to see a text from him to one of his friends saying so. I don't understand, this kid talks out both sides of his mouth. One minute he says I'm a "crazy bitch" and the next he is telling everyone that I'm a cool person. Maybe there's something I'm missing here, but I didn't think it was possible to be both a mean bitch and a good person in someone's eyes. You wouldn't think he would want a crazy bitch to hang out and associate with his friends. In fact, I just told him yesterday "You'll be rid of me in a few days, so I'm sure you'll be glad you won't have to see me around anymore and want to throw up." To which he replied "That's not true, you think too much." This guy is just weird and I don't have the patience to try to understand what goes on inside his head anymore; I just really don't care.

So wait...He should call you a crazy bitch in front of everybody and look like a jerk, of course he'll talk nice about you in front of others, he doesn't want to be the bad guy by calling you names in front of people and then going on to explain why he thinks the way he does, too exhausting, it's just easier to say something nice and move on instead of having a long drawn out conversation about why he feels you're the crazy one, they may start to think he's being mean towards you especially if they all feel you're a great person, doesn't make sense for him to go against the tide. It would be different if someone in the group called you a crazy bitch and he defended you but that's not the case.

He replied with that's not true you think too much, he's right, you keep pushing for his approval, SAYING THINGS TO GET HIS APPROVAL or to get him to DISPLAY his dislike for you, that's really toxic behavior.

You can't wrap your head around this b/c your most likely used to a man telling you to f*ck off and go away, this guy isn't that kind of person, he doesn't hate you but he can't be with you romantically, he doesn't have to be mean for you to go away and get the point.

The point is...He thinks your a nice person, he understands you are emotionally challenged but that doesn't mean he's going to be mean or be antagonized into being mean to you. You constantly seek his approval and that's why he says you think too much, you're looking for any SIGN OF VALIDATION that he's into you when he's not into you IN THAT WAY, he just thinks your a cool person and that doesn't mean anything in so far as romance and intimacy.

As for confirming to mutual friends you're cool etc well he doesn't want to rock the boat, it's just easier to agree and move on from it, he's taking the high road, he may think your crazy but there isn't any reason to expose that to the group b/c that would just a divide and tension among the group and that's drama, not necessary.

I'm amused at how everyone here thinks they know me so well. You think I'm still clammoring for his attention?? The next time he approaches me and tries to talk to me I'm going to look at him in surprise and ask him why the Hell he's talking to me! I think at this point I would RATHER he ignored me. It's easier to deal with that way.

MP Why so extreme. Just leave it alone, no need to be upset about all of this, we are only here to help, you go to extremes, you're upset he doesn't like you the way you need and want him to and now here you go back to punishing him and he's been nothing but nice to you, IMO he really should have cut you off completely, because your not emotionally healthy enough to deal with men only wanting to be friendly with you, flirt with you and talk to you, it has to be one extreme to the next, there is in between with you so yes you should stop talking to him if you can't understand he's being casual with you and friendly with you and that's all it is, there is no "something else" behind his behavior, if you keep searching for subtle signs of romantic interest through his being friendly you'll get angry at him and at yourself for making it all up.

Either be his friend, talk to him like you talk to all of your friends or leave him alone, if he's crossing boundaries, point that out to him, communicate, tell him to keep his hands to himself if he's hugging you, if you feel led on or manipulated well point that out to him, tell your friends to not send you messages about what he's said about you, no more 2nd hand information from friends because it's childish and it gives you false hope, let him know the mixed signals he gives out isn't appreciated and you would like it to stop, most likely he'll just go away and no longer communicate b/c he's just being himself and doesn't want to harm you emotionally which is probably for the best.

there is in no between

Tiki, you're preaching to the deaf. She is gonna hear what she wants to hear. He likes her, he likes her!!

@BifGirlPanties-your new avatar is dazzling.

BGP, are you DEAF?? How many times on this thread have you heard me say that he does not like me, rather he cannot stand me. If he truly liked me, I wouldn't be posting any of this! For fuck's sake, he told me that the thought of touching me makes him want to throw up and cut off his dick!!! If that isn't saying "I hate you, you disgust me", then I don't know what is. He's just being nice about me so that he won't look like an asshole to everyone else, since everyone else gets along great with me.

BPG Now those are some real adult big girl panties 😄

Mermaid, I think you have to look at it this way. You sent him six months of nasty texts. He kept them. You hunted him down. He got his payback in telling you he would be sick if he had sex with you. It's like something out of a movie about 15 year olds.

What else is there to say? I accept the fact that he can't stand me. I make him want to throw up and cut off his dick. So there. What is left for me to say?

Mermaid, who cares what he thinks? Just start thinking about why you texted him for six months in the first place and that it might indicate a lack of impulse control and that the only thing you really wanted was to get your own way and try and get back into a dysfunctional relationship with him so you could send him ANOTHER six months of nasty texts! Laughing :-)

Posted by MissBizarre
Mermaid, who cares what he thinks? Just start thinking about why you texted him for six months in the first place and that it might indicate a lack of impulse control and that the only thing you really wanted was to get your own way and try and get back into a dysfunctional relationship with him so you could send him ANOTHER six months of nasty texts! Laughing :-)

I over-texted him for the first 3 months because I missed him badly (I was 1,200 miles away from him) and because I let my anxiety over being stuck in a place where I didn't want to be get the best of me. I clung tightly to him because he was the only thing that was making me happy at the time. Plus he was the one link I had to the place where I really wanted to be. He represented everything I was striving to have in my own life. Then when he stopped talking to me, I didn't handle being ignored well at all. So I purposely began pushing his buttons and trying to hurt him. Does that answer your question, Miss? At the end of the day, I made a huge mistake because I was miserable and not in my right mind. I have to return home tomorrow and I'm already depressed at the thought of leaving this place and going back to Hillbilly Land. Although being here for the past week and a half hasn't been a walk in the park either. Trust me, I am well aware of why I did what I did. He will never be able to fully understand where I was coming from, and I can't make him understand. So he'll just have to judge me for it and let it taint his perception of me forever. Ain't nothing I can do about it.

"But the truth of it is, it's like this. There's a sliding scale. There's the "Before orgasm" answer, and there's the "After orgasm" answer. Which are you looking for"

hehehehehehehe

And MP you don't disgust him, he didn't mean it that way, least I didn't read into it how you're describing it, you really are extreme, you take everything out of context.

It just didn't turn out the way you wanted, learn from it, get some control, work on your self esteem so you can feel secure and not so out of control when men do what we women don't want or like for them to do, we can't control the way men behave so you have to learn how to control yourself around a man when he's not responding or doing what you hope or expect something from him, learn how to manage your feelings better or don't date until you can.

Posted by tiki33
"But the truth of it is, it's like this. There's a sliding scale. There's the "Before orgasm" answer, and there's the "After orgasm" answer. Which are you looking for"

hehehehehehehe

And MP you don't disgust him, he didn't mean it that way, least I didn't read into it how you're describing it, you really are extreme, you take everything out of context.

It just didn't turn out the way you wanted, learn from it, get some control, work on your self esteem so you can feel secure and not so out of control when men do what we women don't want or like for them to do, we can't control the way men behave so you have to learn how to control yourself around a man when he's not responding or doing what you hope or expect something from him, learn how to manage your feelings better or don't date until you can.

"And MP you don't disgust him, he didn't mean it that way, least I didn't read into it how you're describing it, you really are extreme, you take everything out of context."

Yeah, I never got that either, but whatever lol

Posted by ShahBano
@BifGirlPanties-your new avatar is dazzling.

thanks, sweets. I just put on my bloomers, squat down and snapped my azz 😉

Posted by tiki33
BPG Now those are some real adult big girl panties 😄

😉 😉 😉

I luvs my panties

Last night was my last night in Florida, and he surprised me by coming out to find me and hang out with me before I left. He brought his sister and another friend along, so I finally got to meet them too. I was buzzed, so I don't remember everything clearly. But I remember giving him some shit about his nasty comments to me about wanting to throw up and cut off his dick at the thought of having sex with me. Again, my memory is hazy, but he leaned in and said something about "You misunderstood; that's because I don't use the people I love and couldn't bear to think of doing so." So I guess he was trying to say I'm one of the people he cares about and he doesn't want to use me for sex. That's a good thing I guess. I honestly don't know why he still cares about me in any way after all the shit that has happened. And before anyone jumps to conclusions again, NO I am NOT thinking "OMG, he likes me". So please don't start with that. His behavior and personality is definitely different than anything I've ever encountered before, that's for damn sure!

I said you misunderstood MP, stop worrying about why he cares so much, LISTEN for a change, relax, stop stressing over things you cannot ever be able to control, accept he's a good guy that doesn't want to use you sexually, cares about you as a person and let the mental anguishing over analyzing over why go, if you don't think "OMG, he likes" me then it shouldn't matter why. Although you say you're not thinking it, unfortunately the way you discuss him incessantly says otherwise.

His behavior and personality is definitely different than anything I've ever encountered before, that's for damn sure!
Perhaps that this is why you like this person?