What is going on with this Capricorn guy?

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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
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Andalusia
@Andalusia
12 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
The bolded is the issue, imo.

Earth signs, especially Caps and especially men (IME), do NOT argue.

He more than likely won't discuss it until you stop making it an issue.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by truecap
You hooked up too fast. Men need to anticipate and pursue to develop feelings. Hooking up so fast puts you into a plaything category. Cap men must earn what they get. Anything that comes easy isn't valuable.

Sorry.
Maybe. Honestly I went into it thinking it would be just a one night stand, I thought we wouldn't even talk to eachother after because we aren't close friends anyways. But I have him in a class and the next time I saw him he was smiling hard and looked happy. I invited him to a gig I was having and he called me beforehand and showed up and was being really sweet and ended up driving me afterwards back to his house. When he was at my gig my guy friend (sag) told me this cap log guy was asking all about me, but is too shy to ask me himself. He's been very sweet for the most part. The thing with him is he refuses to initiate anything like he will linger around me and wait for me to say hi first. So weird. I was mad at him the past few weeks so have avoided him in person. Then I started seeing him everywhere. At school and outside of school. I read that Capricorn guys will kindof stalk you if they like you.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
The bolded is the issue, imo.

Earth signs, especially Caps and especially men (IME), do NOT argue.

He more than likely won't discuss it until you stop making it an issue.
click to expand




Yeah I figured lol. I am just extremely frustrated with him and felt like he was blowing me off. Yet he would still text me in class and if I leave class hell be like "where did you go?" It's weird because I thought he didn't care. I tried to argue with him twice and he didn't even react (via text) which was weird because I am used to guys arguing back with me. So I gave up on that. I had him in class last week and finally approached him after class because he was lingering after class. He was really sweet and actually asked me to hang out for once which was nice. We ended up talking for a few hours and he was very open with me and his insecurities and stuff and his eyes were twinkling the whole time we talked. He just seems very hard to pin down outside of class...
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by truecap
You hooked up too fast. Men need to anticipate and pursue to develop feelings. Hooking up so fast puts you into a plaything category. Cap men must earn what they get. Anything that comes easy isn't valuable.

Sorry.
Maybe. Honestly I went into it thinking it would be just a one night stand, I thought we wouldn't even talk to eachother after because we aren't close friends anyways. But I have him in a class and the next time I saw him he was smiling hard and looked happy. I invited him to a gig I was having and he called me beforehand and showed up and was being really sweet and ended up driving me afterwards back to his house. When he was at my gig my guy friend (sag) told me this cap log guy was asking all about me, but is too shy to ask me himself. He's been very sweet for the most part. The thing with him is he refuses to initiate anything like he will linger around me and wait for me to say hi first. So weird. I was mad at him the past few weeks so have avoided him in person. Then I started seeing him everywhere. At school and outside of school. I read that Capricorn guys will kindof stalk you if they like you.
click to expand

*cappy not cap log
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
The bolded is the issue, imo.

Earth signs, especially Caps and especially men (IME), do NOT argue.

He more than likely won't discuss it until you stop making it an issue.



Yeah I figured lol. I am just extremely frustrated with him and felt like he was blowing me off. Yet he would still text me in class and if I leave class hell be like "where did you go?" It's weird because I thought he didn't care. I tried to argue with him twice and he didn't even react (via text) which was weird because I am used to guys arguing back with me. So I gave up on that. I had him in class last week and finally approached him after class because he was lingering after class. He was really sweet and actually asked me to hang out for once which was nice. We ended up talking for a few hours and he was very open with me and his insecurities and stuff and his eyes were twinkling the whole time we talked. He just seems very hard to pin down outside of class...
click to expand

He asked you to hang out. So he does initiate....you said he doesn't.

Maybe you're just upset that he initiates playdates instead of real dates?
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by truecap
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Orangedreams
Yeah I figured lol. I am just extremely frustrated with him and felt like he was blowing me off. Yet he would still text me in class and if I leave class hell be like "where did you go?" It's weird because I thought he didn't care. I tried to argue with him twice and he didn't even react (via text) which was weird because I am used to guys arguing back with me. So I gave up on that. I had him in class last week and finally approached him after class because he was lingering after class. He was really sweet and actually asked me to hang out for once which was nice. We ended up talking for a few hours and he was very open with me and his insecurities and stuff and his eyes were twinkling the whole time we talked. He just seems very hard to pin down outside of class...
He asked you to hang out. So he does initiate....you said he doesn't.

Maybe you're just upset that he initiates playdates instead of real dates?
click to expand


He initiates but only after I approach him. If I don't do anything neither will he. My Venus is in cap and I'm a rising Aries so I usually find myself taking initiative for a lot of things in my life. We are both young so I don't expect him to initiate real dates, I dated an older Taurus guy and he was great at planning dates and stuff but I wouldn't expect that from this lil cap.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by champranger
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by truecap
You hooked up too fast. Men need to anticipate and pursue to develop feelings. Hooking up so fast puts you into a plaything category. Cap men must earn what they get. Anything that comes easy isn't valuable.

Sorry.
Maybe. Honestly I went into it thinking it would be just a one night stand, I thought we wouldn't even talk to eachother after because we aren't close friends anyways. But I have him in a class and the next time I saw him he was smiling hard and looked happy. I invited him to a gig I was having and he called me beforehand and showed up and was being really sweet and ended up driving me afterwards back to his house. When he was at my gig my guy friend (sag) told me this cap log guy was asking all about me, but is too shy to ask me himself. He's been very sweet for the most part. The thing with him is he refuses to initiate anything like he will linger around me and wait for me to say hi first. So weird. I was mad at him the past few weeks so have avoided him in person. Then I started seeing him everywhere. At school and outside of school. I read that Capricorn guys will kindof stalk you if they like you.
It is possible that he may be shy but I think if he was interested, he would at least try, rather than avoid hanging out with you.

IMO 🙂
click to expand


The thing that is driving me crazy is that when I leave him alone and ignore him he will try to find a way to get my attenrion or I will run into him somewhere random. Im not sure if he's just not into me or if he is just taking things at his own pace which is very slow for me.
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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by truecap
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Orangedreams
Yeah I figured lol. I am just extremely frustrated with him and felt like he was blowing me off. Yet he would still text me in class and if I leave class hell be like "where did you go?" It's weird because I thought he didn't care. I tried to argue with him twice and he didn't even react (via text) which was weird because I am used to guys arguing back with me. So I gave up on that. I had him in class last week and finally approached him after class because he was lingering after class. He was really sweet and actually asked me to hang out for once which was nice. We ended up talking for a few hours and he was very open with me and his insecurities and stuff and his eyes were twinkling the whole time we talked. He just seems very hard to pin down outside of class...
He asked you to hang out. So he does initiate....you said he doesn't.

Maybe you're just upset that he initiates playdates instead of real dates?

He initiates but only after I approach him. If I don't do anything neither will he. My Venus is in cap and I'm a rising Aries so I usually find myself taking initiative for a lot of things in my life. We are both young so I don't expect him to initiate real dates, I dated an older Taurus guy and he was great at planning dates and stuff but I wouldn't expect that from this lil cap.
click to expand

But you do expect him to take initiative, otherwise you wouldn't be complaining that he doesn't initiate.
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truecap
@truecap
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I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to be mean.

Caps are just slow. They are afraid of rejection. If they're into you, all they need is a green light. However, there is a fine line between giving a green light and taking the man's role. When you do all the initiating and asking, then it easily slides into setting yourself up for a FWB relationship only (which they don't respect you) or they see you as needy and demanding (which is a turn off).

Every time I've done the initiating, it has not lead to what I really wanted. So, I've been down that path and learned a few things along the road.

In order to develop feelings for someone, men need to invest. They need to pursue, to chase, to work for your attention. They need to feel like you're a prize. When you're doing all the asking and initiating, then that takes that away from them and they don't have that investment in you.

My advice is to be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU.

Such as "there's a great band playing at such and such. I love to see live music" . This gives him an opening to say "well, lets go see them" or at least to let you know he's going. If he doesn't take the opening, then that tells you something.


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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by truecap
I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to be mean.

Caps are just slow. They are afraid of rejection. If they're into you, all they need is a green light. However, there is a fine line between giving a green light and taking the man's role. When you do all the initiating and asking, then it easily slides into setting yourself up for a FWB relationship only (which they don't respect you) or they see you as needy and demanding (which is a turn off).

Every time I've done the initiating, it has not lead to what I really wanted. So, I've been down that path and learned a few things along the road.

In order to develop feelings for someone, men need to invest. They need to pursue, to chase, to work for your attention. They need to feel like you're a prize. When you're doing all the asking and initiating, then that takes that away from them and they don't have that investment in you.

My advice is to be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU.

Such as "there's a great band playing at such and such. I love to see live music" . This gives him an opening to say "well, lets go see them" or at least to let you know he's going. If he doesn't take the opening, then that tells you something.

I see your point of view now. He does take initiative after I approach him, he takes the reins. I've been stubborn with him (Taurus moon) before that I refused to approach him in class. Seems likes its his way or the highway. Last week I started to realize that maybe he is just shy and needs encouragement which is why I approached him and said hi and then he asked me to hang out. It was shocking. He has taken initiative in the past, he first invited me over. Then during my gig he texted me to come over again and I couldn't reply so he walked up to me and asked me in person. He is capable of taking initiative but he's just soooo slow and needs a lot of encouragement and it has to be on his time. Geez, I wish I didn't like him so much. I melt whenever he talks to me.

I will take your advice and just approach him and be nice and let him initiate. The only problem is we have that class once a week and it's ending very soon and I am worried I won't be able to see him anymore... So that's why I've been trying to spend time with him.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
why would you sleep with him right away? if a guy likes you, he will stick around, that's when you know if he's worth giving up your body for...



Because I have had a long crush on him?
yes but it was your first time with him... you jump in the sack and ask question later?
click to expand


Yeah. It takes two to tango. I don't regret anything, stuff happens, it sucks but it's not the end of the world.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by truecap
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
The bolded is the issue, imo.

Earth signs, especially Caps and especially men (IME), do NOT argue.

He more than likely won't discuss it until you stop making it an issue.



Yeah I figured lol. I am just extremely frustrated with him and felt like he was blowing me off. Yet he would still text me in class and if I leave class hell be like "where did you go?" It's weird because I thought he didn't care. I tried to argue with him twice and he didn't even react (via text) which was weird because I am used to guys arguing back with me. So I gave up on that. I had him in class last week and finally approached him after class because he was lingering after class. He was really sweet and actually asked me to hang out for once which was nice. We ended up talking for a few hours and he was very open with me and his insecurities and stuff and his eyes were twinkling the whole time we talked. He just seems very hard to pin down outside of class...
He asked you to hang out. So he does initiate....you said he doesn't.

Maybe you're just upset that he initiates playdates instead of real dates?
click to expand

The "playdates" vs. "real dates" thing is probably cultural. Where I live, what you call "playdate" is a very common way to casually hang out/date to get to know each other without the pressure that you in your culture seem to put into it, imo. You may end up as friends or lovers or nothing at all, but the point is to just enjoy yourself wit
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
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.contd

The "playdates" vs. "real dates" thing is probably cultural. Where I live, what you call "playdate" is a very common way to casually hang out/date to get to know each other without the pressure that you in your culture seem to put into it, imo. You may end up as friends or lovers or nothing at all, but the point is to just enjoy yourself with a person you seem to get along with and to see if there's something there. Everyone can relax, making it possible to actually get to know each other for real. Perfect!

@OP I totally agree with truecap that the best course of action would be to "be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU."
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by HappyCapper
.contd

The "playdates" vs. "real dates" thing is probably cultural. Where I live, what you call "playdate" is a very common way to casually hang out/date to get to know each other without the pressure that you in your culture seem to put into it, imo. You may end up as friends or lovers or nothing at all, but the point is to just enjoy yourself with a person you seem to get along with and to see if there's something there. Everyone can relax, making it possible to actually get to know each other for real. Perfect!

@OP I totally agree with truecap that the best course of action would be to "be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU."

I agree. Plus we are in our early 20s and I don't expect anything formal from him, especially since we are still getting to know eachother. Who knows? What if I spend more time with him and change my mind about him? I wanted to hang out with him as friends more (with no pressure, as I am a commitment phone deep down) and figure out what kind of guy he is. I have him in class next week and will let you ladies know what happens when I see him.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

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Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
why would you sleep with him right away? if a guy likes you, he will stick around, that's when you know if he's worth giving up your body for...



Because I have had a long crush on him?
yes but it was your first time with him... you jump in the sack and ask question later?
click to expand


Also, forgot to mention I was drinking a lot that might. Not sure if he was drinking a lot or not... It was in the moment and I was excited to be with a guy I've secretly liked.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
why would you sleep with him right away? if a guy likes you, he will stick around, that's when you know if he's worth giving up your body for...



Because I have had a long crush on him?
yes but it was your first time with him... you jump in the sack and ask question later?

Also, forgot to mention I was drinking a lot that might. Not sure if he was drinking a lot or not... It was in the moment and I was excited to be with a guy I've secretly liked.
click to expand


*night
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
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Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by HappyCapper
.contd

The "playdates" vs. "real dates" thing is probably cultural. Where I live, what you call "playdate" is a very common way to casually hang out/date to get to know each other without the pressure that you in your culture seem to put into it, imo. You may end up as friends or lovers or nothing at all, but the point is to just enjoy yourself with a person you seem to get along with and to see if there's something there. Everyone can relax, making it possible to actually get to know each other for real. Perfect!

@OP I totally agree with truecap that the best course of action would be to "be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU."

I agree. Plus we are in our early 20s and I don't expect anything formal from him, especially since we are still getting to know eachother. Who knows? What if I spend more time with him and change my mind about him? I wanted to hang out with him as friends more (with no pressure, as I am a commitment phone deep down) and figure out what kind of guy he is. I have him in class next week and will let you ladies know what happens when I see him.
click to expand

Please do! 🙂
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by HappyCapper
.contd

The "playdates" vs. "real dates" thing is probably cultural. Where I live, what you call "playdate" is a very common way to casually hang out/date to get to know each other without the pressure that you in your culture seem to put into it, imo. You may end up as friends or lovers or nothing at all, but the point is to just enjoy yourself with a person you seem to get along with and to see if there's something there. Everyone can relax, making it possible to actually get to know each other for real. Perfect!

@OP I totally agree with truecap that the best course of action would be to "be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU."

I agree. Plus we are in our early 20s and I don't expect anything formal from him, especially since we are still getting to know eachother. Who knows? What if I spend more time with him and change my mind about him? I wanted to hang out with him as friends more (with no pressure, as I am a commitment phone deep down) and figure out what kind of guy he is. I have him in class next week and will let you ladies know what happens when I see him.
Please do! 🙂
click to expand


Geez sorry for so many typos, I'm on my phone! I meant commitment-phobe 🙂
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
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Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
why would you sleep with him right away? if a guy likes you, he will stick around, that's when you know if he's worth giving up your body for...



Because I have had a long crush on him?
yes but it was your first time with him... you jump in the sack and ask question later?

Also, forgot to mention I was drinking a lot that might. Not sure if he was drinking a lot or not... It was in the moment and I was excited to be with a guy I've secretly liked.
click to expand

Sleeping with him that soon may not have been the best strategy, but it happened, shit happens, so just make the best of it. But trying to make excuses like you were drunk isn't flying with me, at least. That's no excuse! If you can't handle yourself when you drink, then don't drink...or don't drink as much.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
what are his personal planets.

he never initiates anything you said??


i'd be kind of pissed off at that. i want real results. And honestly even as SLOW as capricorn is, you will know if he's interested.

even if they're being sneaky about it.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by HappyCapper
.contd

The "playdates" vs. "real dates" thing is probably cultural. Where I live, what you call "playdate" is a very common way to casually hang out/date to get to know each other without the pressure that you in your culture seem to put into it, imo. You may end up as friends or lovers or nothing at all, but the point is to just enjoy yourself with a person you seem to get along with and to see if there's something there. Everyone can relax, making it possible to actually get to know each other for real. Perfect!

@OP I totally agree with truecap that the best course of action would be to "be friendly, be happy to see him, give a green light so it sets him up to ask YOU."

I agree. Plus we are in our early 20s and I don't expect anything formal from him, especially since we are still getting to know eachother. Who knows? What if I spend more time with him and change my mind about him? I wanted to hang out with him as friends more (with no pressure, as I am a commitment phone deep down) and figure out what kind of guy he is. I have him in class next week and will let you ladies know what happens when I see him.
Please do! 🙂

Geez sorry for so many typos, I'm on my phone! I meant commitment-phobe 🙂
click to expand

Np. I think we all got it.🙂
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
what are his personal planets.

he never initiates anything you said??


i'd be kind of pissed off at that. i want real results. And honestly even as SLOW as capricorn is, you will know if he's interested.

even if they're being sneaky about it.
click to expand

Why would you be pissed? Maybe he's just shy.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
what are his personal planets.

he never initiates anything you said??


i'd be kind of pissed off at that. i want real results. And honestly even as SLOW as capricorn is, you will know if he's interested.

even if they're being sneaky about it.
Why would you be pissed? Maybe he's just shy.
click to expand

not my type. lol

i'm just going by my own guy. it's hard to be objective.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
what are his personal planets.

he never initiates anything you said??


i'd be kind of pissed off at that. i want real results. And honestly even as SLOW as capricorn is, you will know if he's interested.

even if they're being sneaky about it.
Why would you be pissed? Maybe he's just shy.
not my type. lol

i'm just going by my own guy. it's hard to be objective.
click to expand

Hehehe
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
what are his personal planets.

he never initiates anything you said??


i'd be kind of pissed off at that. i want real results. And honestly even as SLOW as capricorn is, you will know if he's interested.

even if they're being sneaky about it.
Why would you be pissed? Maybe he's just shy.
click to expand

See! Haha that's why I'm here in the first place because I am so confused. I'm not sure what his personal planets are but I believe his bday is Dec 23.

So here's the thing, I never considered the fact that he might be shy, until I started reading more about Cappies. I mean, why be shy? We've been intimate a few times, so it didn't make sense to me....

Here are some examples of what I mean, the night when we started talking, at the concert. We looked at each other a few times, but neither of us said hi. Later on I saw him around then next thing I know he was standing next to me. I was drunk, but I believe I started talking to him first. He came from across the other side of the room and planted himself next to me. We were talking and flirting hard and he was being really sweet and offered to get me more alcohol, which I was happy about. I thought he was actually going to ditch me mid conversation but he came back 🙂 then it was getting late and my friends were like lets go home, and he was like "noo come over and drink more" and I was like really? Okay 😄 super excited and shocked. I never thought he would be interested in me. A lot of girls in my major like him and stare at him... Then I saw him in class that week and he was smiling
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
...cont'd
--smiling hard and waving at me and I was shocked, because in my mind, I'm like okay we hooked up and we will go back to not talking to eachother. Since he was being nice, I asked him if he wanted to get a drink at the bar at school and he said hes sad and going home because he got a parking ticket...... okay? We didn't talk for a few weeks until I texted him and invited him to my gig. He was like yes I would love to come see YOU, I don't like going to bars and don't give a crap about the other people playing. He called me and talked to me on the phone for like 20 mins before he came to my gig. He showed up with his roomie and was being really cold toward me (or shy) so I decided to say hi and leave him alone. During my set a lot of guys were buying me drinks and trying to flirt with me (some hot guys too 😢 ) but I had to turn them down because I didn't want my cap to think anything. He then texted me like "hey can u please come over after" I couldn't reply because i was busy so he walked up to the stage and was like hey do you wanna come over after and I was like yea 🙂 so he drove me to his house after and we hooked up again. I left all my equipment at his house and he was sweet and offered to drop it off to me some other day. my SAG best friend told me this cap was asking the sag a bunch of questions about me and the sag was like i think this cap likes you...

so then i started texting him randomly like "hey come hang out with me and my friends" or "hey lets do homework together" and he would always be like I'm sorry I can't. consistently so I'm like okay he doesn't like me anymore and felt rejected. so then I started ignoring and avoiding him in class. one day i left for an hour (don't ask LOL) and he texted me like hey where did you go?? i'm like since when does he care? i came back to class and he kept staring at me and i finally looked at him and he gave me this pained look on his face and i just turned away. then i had to give a presentation in class and i locked eyes with him by mistake and we both started smiling and i lost the game LOL... ever since then I have avoided him in class, but will text him randomly like hey lets hang out and he's still like no. so then we got into an argument because i was so fed up with his weirdness and told him i was done with him. HE DIDN'T REPLY!!! but I saw him twice that week outside of class. I saw him at one of my favorite spots at school and then I saw him at ANOTHER CONCERT!! it was driving me crazy. He was staring at me at the concert so I started flirting with some random guy next to me then I looked up and the CAPPIE was gone LOL....
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
...cont'd

fast forward last week I decide that he is shy and I will be nice to him after all of this. I walked up to him after class and when he wasn't looking I bumped into him and we started talking. We both had to talk to the teacher and he actually waited for me to be done. we were walking and then he asked me if i wanted to hang out. I was like sure, so we went to the bar at my school and had a beer and chatted for hours... sorry for the length!!
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Orangedreams
I'm an Aquarius who is head over heels for this Capricorn. I've had a crush on him for a long time. We ended up running into eachother at a concert and hung out for a while then he invited me back to his place which I gladly accepted. We hooked up and exchanged numbers. I have him in a class this semester. We didn't really talk much after that but he would always stare at me in class and smile but never approach me. I kept running into him everywhere! I would text him and ask him to hang out and he would always have a polite excuse. I figured he's not into me so I backed off. He would text me randomly in class but never really initiates anything. We've gotten in a argument over this and he simply shut down and refused to argue with me. I really like him but I'm not sure why he's acting like this. I managed to get him to hang out last week after class and he was really sweet and maintaining good eye contact etc but he never takes initiative and is being difficult and hard to pin down. Why is he being like this?
what are his personal planets.

he never initiates anything you said??


i'd be kind of pissed off at that. i want real results. And honestly even as SLOW as capricorn is, you will know if he's interested.

even if they're being sneaky about it.
Why would you be pissed? Maybe he's just shy.
click to expand

See! Haha that's why I'm here in the first place because I am so confused. I'm not sure what his personal planets are but I believe his bday is Dec 23.

So here's the thing, I never considered the fact that he might be shy, until I started reading more about Cappies. I mean, why be shy? We've been intimate a few times, so it didn't make sense to me....

Here are some examples of what I mean, the night when we started talking, at the concert. We looked at each other a few times, but neither of us said hi. Later on I saw him around then next thing I know he was standing next to me. I was drunk, but I believe I started talking to him first. He came from across the other side of the room and planted himself next to me. We were talking and flirting hard and he was being really sweet and offered to get me more alcohol, which I was happy about. I thought he was actually going to ditch me mid conversation but he came back 🙂 then it was getting late and my friends were like lets go home, and he was like "noo come over and drink more" and I was like really? Okay 😄 super excited and shocked. I never thought he woul
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aquapiscescusp
@aquapiscescusp
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 13769 · Topics: 154
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
why would you sleep with him right away? if a guy likes you, he will stick around, that's when you know if he's worth giving up your body for...



Because I have had a long crush on him?
yes but it was your first time with him... you jump in the sack and ask question later?

Also, forgot to mention I was drinking a lot that might. Not sure if he was drinking a lot or not... It was in the moment and I was excited to be with a guy I've secretly liked.
Sleeping with him that soon may not have been the best strategy, but it happened, shit happens, so just make the best of it. But trying to make excuses like you were drunk isn't flying with me, at least. That's no excuse! If you can't handle yourself when you drink, then don't drink...or don't drink as much.
click to expand

yeah but her other excuse is she liked him secretly...
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by aquapiscescusp
why would you sleep with him right away? if a guy likes you, he will stick around, that's when you know if he's worth giving up your body for...



Because I have had a long crush on him?
yes but it was your first time with him... you jump in the sack and ask question later?

Also, forgot to mention I was drinking a lot that might. Not sure if he was drinking a lot or not... It was in the moment and I was excited to be with a guy I've secretly liked.
Sleeping with him that soon may not have been the best strategy, but it happened, shit happens, so just make the best of it. But trying to make excuses like you were drunk isn't flying with me, at least. That's no excuse! If you can't handle yourself when you drink, then don't drink...or don't drink as much.
yeah but her other excuse is she liked him secretly...
click to expand


It's not an excuse and like I said I don't regret anything I still like him.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by champranger
Posted by Orangedreams
.
so then i started texting him randomly like "hey come hang out with me and my friends" or "hey lets do homework together" and he would always be like I'm sorry I can't. consistently so I'm like okay he doesn't like me anymore and felt rejected. so then I started ignoring and avoiding him in class.
Does he know you like him? Maybe he thinks you think of him as just a friend?
click to expand


No I haven't told him I liked him, I thought it was obvious.
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faith$golphin
@faith$golphin
16 Years500+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1 · Posts: 618 · Topics: 44
What do you mean by yall hook up? Did you have sex with him when you went to his place? Anyway Cap men can be difficult at times until you really get to know him. Sometimes it take a while for them to initiate something they really want. Sometime you have to watch for the signals with them and then initiate seeing him. If he don’t make it happen right away just be patience and don’t press him. Remember Caps men remember everything so he will eventually make it happen. If he feels it’s a strong connection with you he will make time for you. Don’t be aggressive or he will pull away!!! You need to have self control over your emotion when dealing with this type of man. I sometimes lose it after all these years. When my Cap friend upset me by not be available or distance himself from me it’s normally when I’m acting too aggressive or clingy! Soon as I stop pursuing him noticeably within 1 no more than 2 weeks he will start back calling me like nothing ever happen. He will call me 6 times in a week and have long conversations and really want to see me and won’t ask. That can go on for weeks until it get to the point where he see I’m not going to initiate seeing him and he can’t hold out no longer. They have a lot of dignity, pride and more patience than you will ever imagine.
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Capn
@Capn
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 2
Being a 28yr old cap I'll try to help out a bit.

The deal here is pretty simple:
- You like him and you want to hang out with him.
- You want him to initiate (because that is the best way to know if he's into you too).

The obstacles are also fairly simple:
- He doesn't initiate (as much as you want).
- Your head automaticly making this a problem.
- You thinking about him all the time, increasing your chance of coming on to strong (ex. in the way you approach/text him) when you should play it cool.

Upsides:
- He takes some initiative (in his own way).
- He has asked and talked about you.
- He looks at you in more than just a casual way.

Downsides:
- He is way to slow.
- He doesn't initiate as much as you want.

So..what to do!?
You main goal about this guy, what is it?
Just to get to know him better to see if you can end up as a couple, or do you want him as your bf right away, fast as possible?
I don't judge you either way.

Your main concern, what is it?
I guess you worry that he is not interested in you in that way, and that he is just being a nice guy.

My thoughts about this:
As much as you want to grab him, hold him, kiss him..keep him chained in your basement and so on, you should not do that..yet.. Specially not the last part, haha!

It is hard to say why he is so slow.. Could it be you give him too much? He doesn't have to work for it. I don't blame you for sleeping with him right away! I think that's great for both of you..

So.. What I think you should do:
I basicly don't like the hard to get/catch and release-games..and I am not saying you should do it 100% .. But I think you should give him a bit more challenge.
I see your concern that if you don't initiate, nothing happens (I truly know the feel of that).
Well, fck that!

You can initiate in other, indirect ways:
1) When you know he'll be around, dress nice.
2) Go on as normal. Talk to him but act more casual (I know it's hard when you want to tell him all the cute things straight from your heart)..leave before he does if you can.
3) Go silent 1-2 days. No texts. If you don't receive any.. Send him something short he doesn't have to respond to (ex. have a good day) If he responds = yei. If not = repeat.
4) Dont ask him out for at least a week.
5) Always act happy! Show him you're "happy" and that you don't need him to be it.

Other things:
1) Make a list of all the positive things. Read it when you are down.
2) Think long term and dont push it.

Caps are thinkers, chasers, goal-getters.. You should aim to challenge him on this. But balance it.
It is so hard and feels so unfair, but your chances are higher this way then just attacking him with feelings.
Make him come around!
And update us!

Lots of luck 🙂
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by faith $ golphin
What do you mean by yall hook up? Did you have sex with him when you went to his place? Anyway Cap men can be difficult at times until you really get to know him. Sometimes it take a while for them to initiate something they really want. Sometime you have to watch for the signals with them and then initiate seeing him. If he don’t make it happen right away just be patience and don’t press him. Remember Caps men remember everything so he will eventually make it happen. If he feels it’s a strong connection with you he will make time for you. Don’t be aggressive or he will pull away!!! You need to have self control over your emotion when dealing with this type of man. I sometimes lose it after all these years. When my Cap friend upset me by not be available or distance himself from me it’s normally when I’m acting too aggressive or clingy! Soon as I stop pursuing him noticeably within 1 no more than 2 weeks he will start back calling me like nothing ever happen. He will call me 6 times in a week and have long conversations and really want to see me and won’t ask. That can go on for weeks until it get to the point where he see I’m not going to initiate seeing him and he can’t hold out no longer. They have a lot of dignity, pride and more patience than you will ever imagine.

Yeah we went all the way. I'm very open LOL. I know I'm surrounded by caps, I have a male cap bestie who I would never date in a million years but he's great. I also have a crush on this difficult lesbian capricorn girl (i'm straight but i am extremely drawn to her). She drives me nuts! We are becoming close friends but it's hard because she has a small social circle although everyone I know wants to hang out with her. I see your point. It's so tricky with this sign because from what it sounds like is the men want you to act a certain way and read their mind and if you can't do that they let you go. I'm very close with my male cappie bestie but i haven't spoken to him in months because he just got into a really good college and it's been very stressful so I am giving him space, but I miss him now and then.
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Orangedreams
@Orangedreams
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 4
Posted by Capn
Lots of luck 🙂
My other message got cut off but...

Reading your post was like having the clouds open up and the sun coming out LOL. I love your insight and appreciate your advice, you get what's going on. The goal is to make him my BF asap (although most CAPPIES I know are unfaithful, all of them cheat, I swear) so I can spend more time with him. Seems like the trick is to read his mind and make myself as easy as possible but yet still be a challenge.. I never feel like pouring my heart out to guys I date but I feel really comfortable around him for some reason, especially because he seems vulnerable and open around me. Ugh, the angst. I am a pretty happy person, I have a lot going on in my life but I can't get this cap off my mind. Oh well, have to wait to see what happens next week 😉
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by Orangedreams
Posted by Capn
Lots of luck 🙂
My other message got cut off but...

Reading your post was like having the clouds open up and the sun coming out LOL. I love your insight and appreciate your advice, you get what's going on. The goal is to make him my BF asap (although most CAPPIES I know are unfaithful, all of them cheat, I swear) so I can spend more time with him. Seems like the trick is to read his mind and make myself as easy as possible but yet still be a challenge.. I never feel like pouring my heart out to guys I date but I feel really comfortable around him for some reason, especially because he seems vulnerable and open around me. Ugh, the angst. I am a pretty happy person, I have a lot going on in my life but I can't get this cap off my mind. Oh well, have to wait to see what happens next week 😉
click to expand

you may have a goal in making him your bf because you DESIRE him above all else,

but it's still his feelings to consider. IF he doesn't want you, why would you want him back? wouldn't you feel safer and HAPPIER and SECURED knowing he loves you and wants you above all else??

goals are desirable and great to have, but in relationships, if the other party isn't showing much interest, you're only torturing yourself.
Profile picture of lisabethur8
lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by Capn
Being a 28yr old cap I'll try to help out a bit.

The deal here is pretty simple:
- You like him and you want to hang out with him.
- You want him to initiate (because that is the best way to know if he's into you too).

The obstacles are also fairly simple:
- He doesn't initiate (as much as you want).
- Your head automaticly making this a problem.
- You thinking about him all the time, increasing your chance of coming on to strong (ex. in the way you approach/text him) when you should play it cool.

Upsides:
- He takes some initiative (in his own way).
- He has asked and talked about you.
- He looks at you in more than just a casual way.

Downsides:
- He is way to slow.
- He doesn't initiate as much as you want.

So..what to do!?
You main goal about this guy, what is it?
Just to get to know him better to see if you can end up as a couple, or do you want him as your bf right away, fast as possible?
I don't judge you either way.

Your main concern, what is it?
I guess you worry that he is not interested in you in that way, and that he is just being a nice guy.

My thoughts about this:
As much as you want to grab him, hold him, kiss him..keep him chained in your basement and so on, you should not do that..yet.. Specially not the last part, haha!

It is hard to say why he is so slow.. Could it be you give him too much? He doesn't have to work for it. I don't blame you for sleeping with him right away! I think that's great for both of you..

So.. What I think you should do:
I basicly don't like the hard to get/catch and release-games..and I am not saying you should do it 100% .. But I think you should give him a bit more challenge.
I see your concern that if you don't initiate, nothing happens (I truly know the feel of that).
Well, fck that!

You can initiate in other, indirect ways:
1) When you know he'll be around, dress nice.
2) Go on as normal. Talk to him but act more casual (I know it's hard when you want to tell him all the cute things straight from your heart)..leave before he does if you can.
3) Go silent 1-2 days. No texts. If you don't receive any.. Send him something short he doesn't have to respond to (ex. have a good day) If he responds = yei. If not = repeat.
4) Dont ask him out for at least a week.
5) Always act happy! Show him you're "happy" and that you don't need him to be it.

Other things:
1) Make a list of all the positive things. Read it when you are down.
2) Think long term and dont push it.

Caps are thinkers, chasers, goal-getters.. You should aim to challenge him on this. But balance it.
It is so hard and fe
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