happykitsune
@happykitsune
14 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 4385 · Topics: 226
Do you geminis prefer defined relationships?
I'll jump at this one first... as a female gem... I have to say I do like undefined relationships as long as I know (and the person makes it clear) they arent seeing anyone else. It takes the pressure of the "boyfriend/girlfriend" title and its smoother. When someone brings out the "I want a relationship" it really does freak me out.. I retreat, I act dumbfounded, I dont know what to say, how to act etc until I over analyze it from each and every angle and soak it in... sometimes I cant take the pressure and i'll back out or "ignore" what was asked (relationship) and act as if nothing happened "hoping" the person wont bring it up again until i've brought it up myself FIRST.
If someone asks to be in relationship with me im flattered (ofcourse) but I straight away see it as like i'll be caged up, no freedom, pressure and I freak out. I need to talk myself into it pretty much and think about it thoroughly & explore every angle of what might and might not happpend and how things might and might not flow.
Damn... i wrote more than i expected!
If someone asks to be in relationship with me im flattered (ofcourse) but I straight away see it as like i'll be caged up, no freedom, pressure and I freak out. I need to talk myself into it pretty much and think about it thoroughly & explore every angle of what might and might not happpend and how things might and might not flow.
Damn... i wrote more than i expected!
happen*
Sorry couldn't help but reply....I'm not a gem. I have gems in my life, and I have been completely in love with a gem guy in the past though. I just want to say this:
Nats: you do realise that being "in a relationship" shouldn't actually change things (between the 2 of you) right? It's JUST a title. If you are behaving like you're in a relationship with someone without actually having a title, it doesn't make it any less shit when things don't work out for whatever reason. I personally like defined relationships because it makes me feel like the other person isn't trying to hide the fact that they are with me (only throwing this in for good measure).
I find it kinda funny because gems are normally so free in a sense and go with the flow, yet you're not the only gem I've come across that has totally freaked themselves out just over thinking about the possibilities of a relationship LOL!! The thing is, no matter how great you are (and I know you gems are pretty damn awesome...I do share mercury as a ruler afterall :p), you DON'T know where it's going and you DON'T know exactly what will happen. Life throws unexpected things at us left, right & centre - I thought gems understood this? So why not just take a chance? (If you like the other person that is). Obviously there's times when you wouldn't, and I'm not suggesting to get into a relationship with just anyone. But if you like the other person, if they tick all the boxes and things are going well, what's with the freaking out and running away?
It is actually pretty rude to completely ignore someone when they bring up the topic of a relationship or feelings. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of that? If you haven't been yet, trust me, one day you will be (it sucks!). I personally prefer it when people are upfront & honest with me, and I would have more respect for them telling me outright that they don't want to go down that road, then have them suddenly act all weird and then pull a disappearing act (that feels very disrespectful to me anyway).
Not having a go at ya, coz I admire your honesty Nats and I do read a lot more than I post. It's just my 2cents is all 🙂
Nats: you do realise that being "in a relationship" shouldn't actually change things (between the 2 of you) right? It's JUST a title. If you are behaving like you're in a relationship with someone without actually having a title, it doesn't make it any less shit when things don't work out for whatever reason. I personally like defined relationships because it makes me feel like the other person isn't trying to hide the fact that they are with me (only throwing this in for good measure).
I find it kinda funny because gems are normally so free in a sense and go with the flow, yet you're not the only gem I've come across that has totally freaked themselves out just over thinking about the possibilities of a relationship LOL!! The thing is, no matter how great you are (and I know you gems are pretty damn awesome...I do share mercury as a ruler afterall :p), you DON'T know where it's going and you DON'T know exactly what will happen. Life throws unexpected things at us left, right & centre - I thought gems understood this? So why not just take a chance? (If you like the other person that is). Obviously there's times when you wouldn't, and I'm not suggesting to get into a relationship with just anyone. But if you like the other person, if they tick all the boxes and things are going well, what's with the freaking out and running away?
It is actually pretty rude to completely ignore someone when they bring up the topic of a relationship or feelings. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of that? If you haven't been yet, trust me, one day you will be (it sucks!). I personally prefer it when people are upfront & honest with me, and I would have more respect for them telling me outright that they don't want to go down that road, then have them suddenly act all weird and then pull a disappearing act (that feels very disrespectful to me anyway).
Not having a go at ya, coz I admire your honesty Nats and I do read a lot more than I post. It's just my 2cents is all 🙂
I'm agreeing with Nats and adding this:
Gems are so afraid of being confined that we can find it hard to define a relationship. It's so very PERMANENT sounding, when we know instinctually that the only constant is change. How can we commit to something solid when our entire world- including our personalities- is in a constant state of flux? A defined relationship also means that we can't have a proberbial foot out the door. A Gemini always has one foot out the door unless she decides HERSELF that the time is right to commit. You don't want to push your Gem away by demanding a name for the relationship, but, at the same time, you have a right to some commitment and a right to know where you stand.
Gems are so afraid of being confined that we can find it hard to define a relationship. It's so very PERMANENT sounding, when we know instinctually that the only constant is change. How can we commit to something solid when our entire world- including our personalities- is in a constant state of flux? A defined relationship also means that we can't have a proberbial foot out the door. A Gemini always has one foot out the door unless she decides HERSELF that the time is right to commit. You don't want to push your Gem away by demanding a name for the relationship, but, at the same time, you have a right to some commitment and a right to know where you stand.
But, beyond that, there's also the Geminian tendency to regard traditional ways of doing things as boring and a need to experiment with new definitions.
Posted by Sultanaa
Hmm.... you guys!!! are making me so very insecure *hides*...
For some reason, i've always acted differently... I need to have proper boundaries, proper closure... proper everything in place... Everything had been defined in my life and if it was not, it would drive me nuts... i know i do belong to the group "constant state of flux", but if anything thats not in place would drive me up the wall. Maybe it was a little different while in my late teens/early twenty-twenty one... but now its all about knowing i have a secure partnership - secure relationship - secure everything... if any facet of my life is not defined, i'd sort of go visibly jittery.
I wouldnt feel like even continuing anything more than maybe acquaintance if any relation is undefined, cannot handle any stress of not knowing if that person is with me or not for my further ventures.
I thought growing up did this to you, but now i know its just me 😢... i think i'm the only non-fun gem.
Sultanaa- You don't seem non-fun! I wrote that I thought it was true that a Gem wouldn't want labels until she was ready for them. Maybe you just get ready more quickly! The older I got, the more I sought out some relationship definitions. I was once someone who thought I would never marry, but eventually wanted the security of knowing someone was so committed that he would want to! The permanence of the relationship still does scare the pants off me if I think about it too hard, though.
u guys are so scary haha..im so afraid of getting close to my gem boyfriend due to reading all the responses in these gemini forums.
Guess I've been doing the right thing then by not forcing any
of my gems to define. You can push the wind I suppose :3
of my gems to define. You can push the wind I suppose :3
Sultanna, it's the same with me. i like a defined relationship... that way i know where i stand. 🙂
:3 I love my ability to be understand.
Also I meant you CAN'T push the wind
Also I meant you CAN'T push the wind
understanding* haha and the typos continue
I'm a gemini female and I guess I am different. I like my relationships to be defined. I don't like wondering or being clueless of who or what I am to my mate. Maybe that's my control issues slipping in.
Dont get me wrong people, I do like defined relationships but ONLY and ONLY when its ME asking for it or ME making that choice/taking that step.
If someone throws it at me first, it freaks me out (freedom thing again). It has to seem like its MY idea otherwise I get scared. And if its my idea in the first place, its because i've already analyzed everything thoroughly and i've come to accept that yes I dont mind if my freedom is taken away a bit by this person because I love/care about them enough to let my freedom go and be with them and ONLY them.
Not only that but when you get into a relationship and it becomes serious then you have the whole having to meet the person's friends, family etc etc and it just becomes so "serious" I mean yea dont get me wrong I like it and I can accept it but it takes me a while and I definately CAN NOT be rushed into it.
So yes I like it undefined until I make the choice that I want to be in a "relationship" but once im ready for it and have made that leap then I like everything to happen like it would "traditionally" with the correct boundaries etc etc its just taking the step from being something into being in a relationship is scary!! Id rather someone casually drop the "oh this is my girlfriend" line one day (casual) than directly ASK me to be with them. It just seems like less pressure.
Gems are confusing. Not to worry non-geminis, we confuse ourselves most of the time 🙂
If someone throws it at me first, it freaks me out (freedom thing again). It has to seem like its MY idea otherwise I get scared. And if its my idea in the first place, its because i've already analyzed everything thoroughly and i've come to accept that yes I dont mind if my freedom is taken away a bit by this person because I love/care about them enough to let my freedom go and be with them and ONLY them.
Not only that but when you get into a relationship and it becomes serious then you have the whole having to meet the person's friends, family etc etc and it just becomes so "serious" I mean yea dont get me wrong I like it and I can accept it but it takes me a while and I definately CAN NOT be rushed into it.
So yes I like it undefined until I make the choice that I want to be in a "relationship" but once im ready for it and have made that leap then I like everything to happen like it would "traditionally" with the correct boundaries etc etc its just taking the step from being something into being in a relationship is scary!! Id rather someone casually drop the "oh this is my girlfriend" line one day (casual) than directly ASK me to be with them. It just seems like less pressure.
Gems are confusing. Not to worry non-geminis, we confuse ourselves most of the time 🙂
Posted by Whimsy
I'm agreeing with Nats and adding this:
Gems are so afraid of being confined that we can find it hard to define a relationship. It's so very PERMANENT sounding, when we know instinctually that the only constant is change. How can we commit to something solid when our entire world- including our personalities- is in a constant state of flux? A defined relationship also means that we can't have a proberbial foot out the door. A Gemini always has one foot out the door unless she decides HERSELF that the time is right to commit. You don't want to push your Gem away by demanding a name for the relationship, but, at the same time, you have a right to some commitment and a right to know where you stand.
aha aha. agreed and agreed. definately "permanent" sounding and I dislike anything to be "permanent" unless I choose it to be that way.
Yes again agreed with the "unless she decides herself that the TIME IS RIGHT". Its also a lot about having the right timing and like I said, it doesnt freak me out as much when its ME wanting the relationship because I felt comfortable and the timing was right!
Defined: Telling people this is my gf/bf
Undefined: You aren't sure what to call the person. They could simply be a friend or you say "I don't know where we really stand"
Undefined: You aren't sure what to call the person. They could simply be a friend or you say "I don't know where we really stand"
Posted by geminiwizardPosted by candi3bb
u guys are so scary haha..im so afraid of getting close to my gem boyfriend due to reading all the responses in these gemini forums.
dont worry about that stuff. we're all different...i mean everyones got a moon sign, sign in venus etc. not all gems are the same.
i have no water in my chart so i'm sure i'm not your typical gemini.
just take it easy and natural. dont force anything too soon and you'll be fine.click to expand
i guess your right...he has venus in gemini and the rest of his planets are Capricorn moon, and Scorpio and Pisces.
Posted by nats
Dont get me wrong people, I do like defined relationships but ONLY and ONLY when its ME asking for it or ME making that choice/taking that step.
If someone throws it at me first, it freaks me out (freedom thing again). It has to seem like its MY idea otherwise I get scared. And if its my idea in the first place, its because i've already analyzed everything thoroughly and i've come to accept that yes I dont mind if my freedom is taken away a bit by this person because I love/care about them enough to let my freedom go and be with them and ONLY them.
Not only that but when you get into a relationship and it becomes serious then you have the whole having to meet the person's friends, family etc etc and it just becomes so "serious" I mean yea dont get me wrong I like it and I can accept it but it takes me a while and I definately CAN NOT be rushed into it.
So yes I like it undefined until I make the choice that I want to be in a "relationship" but once im ready for it and have made that leap then I like everything to happen like it would "traditionally" with the correct boundaries etc etc its just taking the step from being something into being in a relationship is scary!! Id rather someone casually drop the "oh this is my girlfriend" line one day (casual) than directly ASK me to be with them. It just seems like less pressure.
Gems are confusing. Not to worry non-geminis, we confuse ourselves most of the time 🙂
Nats you always answer all my questions before i ask! baahaaa...
Posted by nats
Dont get me wrong people, I do like defined relationships but ONLY and ONLY when its ME asking for it or ME making that choice/taking that step.
If someone throws it at me first, it freaks me out (freedom thing again). It has to seem like its MY idea otherwise I get scared. And if its my idea in the first place, its because i've already analyzed everything thoroughly and i've come to accept that yes I dont mind if my freedom is taken away a bit by this person because I love/care about them enough to let my freedom go and be with them and ONLY them.
Not only that but when you get into a relationship and it becomes serious then you have the whole having to meet the person's friends, family etc etc and it just becomes so "serious" I mean yea dont get me wrong I like it and I can accept it but it takes me a while and I definately CAN NOT be rushed into it.
So yes I like it undefined until I make the choice that I want to be in a "relationship" but once im ready for it and have made that leap then I like everything to happen like it would "traditionally" with the correct boundaries etc etc its just taking the step from being something into being in a relationship is scary!! Id rather someone casually drop the "oh this is my girlfriend" line one day (casual) than directly ASK me to be with them. It just seems like less pressure.
Gems are confusing. Not to worry non-geminis, we confuse ourselves most of the time 🙂
Agreeing again with Nats, who said it better than I did!
ah ah ic ic now...the world is making much more sense. 😛
oh okay cool, theres some water in there and a nice capricorn moon for loyalty...i wouldnt be worried.
btw, that youtube song in your profile is really cool
yeah i love her music... here check out her lyrics to that song its beautiful
A lifetime comes and goes
And as my friend the rose
Said only yesterday
This morning I was born
And baptized in the dawn
I flowered in the dew
And life was fresh and new
The sun shone through the gold
And through the day I grew
By night-time I was old
At least there's never been
No you have never seen
A rose more bright and gay
A lifetime comes and goes
And so my friend the rose
Said only yesterday
The good Lord smiled on me
So why then should it be
I feel I'm falling now
Oh yes I'm falling now
My heart no-one can save
My head begins to bow
My feet are in the grave
The rose cup smiled upon
Tomorrow will be gone
Forever gone away
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Any Gemini pigs out there in message board land?
The book that turned me on to astrology. Star Profile Element - Air Key wrods - Mercurial, changeable, unpredictabl
In six easy lessons... Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, w
Just wondering what other sign you Gems would chose to be if you had to... and why. And if you're not a Gem, what's your
He's been leaving me hanging in the the air for months with his hot and cold attitude.He asked if i feel anything for hi
JESUS CHRIST! major prop to you guys! And i thought being a aqua is nuts...(good way of course) my boyfriend vente
I need some help please! What have you done to help you get over someone? Not just anybody, but someone that you just ca
Hey, this is Gemlicious... I am unsure what happened to my account! Anyway I received some pretty good responses from pe
We've been broken up for three weeks now... I don't communicate with her at all. She keeps trying to text me and call me
This gem and I would be great for each other, but he doesn't have a lot of balance in his life... still. Do gems even
First off, I hope my fellow gems have been having a wonderful new year so far. Last night interesting to say the least,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! :D
Year 2011 Overview As the consummate social butterfly of the zodiac, you'll be thrilled to hear that the major planet
Hello all and merry chirstmas and happy new year!! If it helps, I'm an older guy all Cancer except Gemini for Mars. I
Keep a gemini on his toes at all times?What are the dos and don'ts?
Got her a engagement ring 2 months ago and planning to propose to her on christmas... but what we had fall apart ... she
I think the problem with relationships today, why the divorce rate is so high and children are increasingly being born o
Hi Gem's! Is it just me or do all air signs hate having their air messed with like when someone just picks up can of ar
and while I always knew that they had emotions and were emotional, I don't think I knew HOW emotional they could be. Not
I've noticed that all of the "relationships" I've had with geminis were always undefined. The only one that was semi-defined (which I found out later he thought we were dating) was with a gem who could only date if I saw it as us being good friends who were doing stuff. He didn't like the idea of a superficial relationship. Which I liked because I'm always friends with my bf.
So do you all tend to keep the relationship undefined or is this just something weird going on with me and gems? SagixGem relationships can be very flighty/unclingy I will admit.