Marriage: Love or Business Arrangement?

I think the problem with relationships today, why the divorce rate is so high and children are increasingly being born out of wedlock, is due to the fact that people naively believe that "love conquers all." When they enter into relationships, they allow their feelings to dominate their actions and risk being run through and over. After all, feelings are irrational and when it's all said and done, your feelings didn't mean shit at the start of your union and they don't mean shit at its end.

The harsh reality is that it takes a contract to enter a marriage and dissolution of said contract to get out of one. Before the "I do's," you have to march your happy asses down to some cold, governmental building and sign on a dotted line. No matter how much romance you put into the ceremonial day, the true beginning of your nuptials was marked with ink and paper.

My point is that maybe far too many people let their heart dictate their unions while not taking the time to work out and fine-tune the contract? When I look back on my failed relationships, it wasn't the love that faltered, it's that we could never mutually agree to the terms of the contract.

Ironically, with Catfish, this hasn't been much of a problem. I feel us navigating through stone and the abyss upside down. The depth of feeling is there (and at times taken for granted), but not once have we forgotten to iron out the details of our contract. Sure it doesn't sound romantic but it's all in what you dream and will together I suppose...

For example, part of our contract includes how we plan to utilize our finances and in the course of this we've also been able to discuss our dreams and aspirations: Mountains or the beach? Near the city or in the country? Sports car or minivan? How many kids? What types of names? Parenting style s? Furniture style s? Basketball...Football...NEITHER?!??

Where one would think of this as a cold way to approach love, I'm beginning to feel it's the only way. In the past, I was too afraid to broach these topics for fear of coming across pressed..."We have to be in love first."

Bullshit! What's love got to do with it? A good dick can make you feel as if you've never known joy but how does that feed the kids or pay for a vacation home?

Maybe far too many of us are afraid to see relationships/marriage for what they are and by doing so, we get trapped up and wrapped into emotional dramas with Mr./Miss Wrong? Who cares how the bitch makes you feel if she can't cook, you like to eat and she hates your momma who you plan on moving in down the hall?

Feelings are what they are. You either feel it or you don't. They make you want to rips their clothes off and drink u their essence or they don't. So where's the mystery when it comes to feelings? Love would seem to be the easy part. But survival is all in the details.

What are your thoughts? Marriage: Love or a Contract? Which is more important?

Eh, if it were only a business arrangement then it'd be like an arranged marriage scenario. Maybe I should have phrased it more clearly, which one takes precedence?

I say, the contract. If I font like you, I'm not going to fuck you, let alone marry you. But if I like you, I might equate that to marriage.

Is marriage truly about love when you really boil down to it?

Love should make the world stop turning and come before everything else, etc etc.

High?

Drunk and high?

Awwh thanks. I too was full of shit once. Where I didn't grow up believing in fairy dust and star shine, I used to think people were inherently good and that if someone claimed to love you, they, by default, would do right by you.

The reality is love doesn't equal maturity or honesty or fidelity or monogamy. A person can love you and still fuck you over. Even a crackhead loves his momma...even while stealing from her purse.

i agree its a business contract because everything merge.

i think everybody should have their own shit car, house, etc so when its over it wont be dramatic soap opera fights about what is what.

I don't like when virgos or cappies agree with me 😢

Obviously, both is best. For the sake of the debate, I think marriages based on business have a much better chance of surviving just because it would take into account basic beliefs, habits, opinions, and ideas. Those things are much more stable in us. Emotions are everchanging. No where near as stable and constant.

Business arrangement! You want the best partner possible; hence the word "partner." Love is all grand and stuff, but at the end of the day, as one of my friend's mothers said when I was growing up, "You can't eat love. Love pays no bills. Love won't keep you from living out in the streets. Make your own money, and make sure his ass has his own too!" When I was younger, I thought love was what it was all about; I'm older now, and realize exactly what she was talking about. I can do bad by myself, I don't need any help with that! Obviously you want to love someone, but I think if people took a step back and looked at society's with arranged marriages (not condoning nor saying it's bad), those people typically weren't/aren't in love, but they make it work because of various: cultural, familial, etc, expectations. Most of the parents of the arranged marriages are looking out for their daughters best interest to ensure she will be well taken care of. Just my observation.

By the way, I don't want nor NEED someone to take care of me. While I appreciate, respect and admire a chivalrous man, I can take care of myself, cause if his ass up and leaves, I need to be there for me, cause that's all I can EVER really depend on.

Posted by sozen
A contract ? Harsh reality ?

you earth signs are repulsive .

I've been called worse, at least I know what is what, and don't fake the funk on some b.s. Sometimes things aren't all pretty and nice w/puppy dog tails. Life is hard. I've excepted that ish a long time ago.

^^^I responded to that, by the way, because I am also an Earth sign.
*back to football viewing *
@ Cali - glad to see you are working it out gf 😉

Posted by caligula
I don't like when virgos or cappies agree with me 😢

I agree on this...

Sealed and signed by:

Q

Lol...always!

Speaking of football, they didn't air the end of the eagles game. I am beyond pissed✨#**!?!

As to the topic, yes, love...need that. Love, want that. Love, I want to wake up every morning and go to bed every night desiring him both physically and emotionally but reality dictates that marriage is more than love. To echo what USC said, love also doesn't get you through fat lips, addictions or emotional abuse. Marriage is much more than feeling. I may love you but not to the death of me.

Posted by Qbone

Posted by caligula
I don't like when virgos or cappies agree with me 😢

I agree on this...

Sealed and signed by:

Q

click to expand

Lmao 😄

Lol...I've surrendered before and realized that just because sleeping beauty sleeps, doesn't mean the prince remembers it's his kiss that wakens her.

And seriously, a virgo talking about surrendering in love? Go fuck yourself.

Posted by caligula
Lol...always!

Speaking of football, they didn't air the end of the eagles game. I am beyond pissed✨#**!?!

As to the topic, yes, love...need that. Love, want that. Love, I want to wake up every morning and go to bed every night desiring him both physically and emotionally but reality dictates that marriage is more than love. To echo what USC said, love also doesn't get you through fat lips, addictions or emotional abuse. Marriage is much more than feeling. I may love you but not to the death of me.

Gurrrlll, that Eagles games was off da' hook for sho'! I was upset the first half, but they turned that ish around the second half! Sorry you missed it!

I hate you now 😢

Posted by caligula
I hate you now 😢

😢 🙂
(((whispers - Sports Center on ESPN - high lights)))

It's not the same and you knows it 😛

Still got the Steelers and a miracle.

True dat! Tonight and Monday night games should be good too! Awww....I love football! It's even hard for me to get into basketball season until Football season is over (although I do still try to catch my Lakers when they play).

Posted by sozen

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by sozen
A contract ? Harsh reality ?

you earth signs are repulsive .

I've been called worse, at least I know what is what, and don't fake the funk on some b.s. Sometimes things aren't all pretty and nice w/puppy dog tails. Life is hard. I've excepted that ish a long time ago.

I know that usc ! BTW nice to see you again 🙂

click to expand

You too! 😉 I see you've been flying under the radar again (pun intended)...nice avie! Reminds me of "Top Gun!"

Yeah, I did think that was you, because a. the post topic, and a couple of things he wrote sounded like you 🙂 Awww, you don't want to fight with Tubby/Cali today??!! LOL.

I don't know who you are, nor if I did would I ever be annoyed. You give yourself way too much credit which indicates you're fairly self-absorbed and given the topic, why your first marriage will end in failure. Sucks to be you.

@USC, that's eerie. I can't get into bball either until after the superbowl but every now and then I catch a game just so I know what's what. Do you watch "the league?" LOVEIiiIT!

Posted by sozen
I feel like the patriots will win this year . And to be honest they deserve it ..... everyone else just sucks !

Well, they have a 11-2 record, and it appears EVERYBODY is chasing after them, and in true Brady form, he is getting better as the season progresses, so ... it stands to reason they likely will be at the big dance again this year. I won't be surprised, but I'm sure there are a couple of other teams that would like to be the spoilers and keep them out. We shall see on February 6th!

Posted by Prince_Pisces
why are you guys talking about football? LOL

Because we can!

Posted by caligula
@USC, that's eerie. I can't get into bball either until after the superbowl but every now and then I catch a game just so I know what's what. Do you watch "the league?" LOVEIiiIT!

No, I don't watch "The League." I don't watch a lot of television, so I am not one to ask about shows and stuff! If it's not sports or food related, I don't watch it. Oh, and International House Hunters 🙂

Posted by sozen

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by sozen
I feel like the patriots will win this year . And to be honest they deserve it ..... everyone else just sucks !

Well, they have a 11-2 record, and it appears EVERYBODY is chasing after them, and in true Brady form, he is getting better as the season progresses, so ... it stands to reason they likely will be at the big dance again this year. I won't be surprised, but I'm sure there are a couple of other teams that would like to be the spoilers and keep them out. We shall see on February 6th!

who is your pick ?

click to expand

As much as most people will hate me saying this, I would like to see the Eagles in there. Despite MV's prior situation (and mind you, I LOVE pit bulls - I had one), so I don't take that stuff lightly, but with that being said, he's paid his debt, he's an awesome player, and I would like him to get that ring!

I can talk about guys and dildos too 🙂 just not in a public forum 😉 HA!

Posted by sozen

Posted by Prince_Pisces

Posted by sozen

Posted by Prince_Pisces
why are you guys talking about football? LOL

would you rather have us talk about guys and dildos ? Is that it ?

oh, well theres already a thread about dildos in the scorpio board, or atleast there was earlier, i think it got deleted lmfao!

gotta love the scorpio board eh ? They include sex in everything ! we could be talking about geopolitics and they would somehow manage to throw in a vagina or a penis in there 😛

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You say that like it's a bad thing!

Nah, if I did know you, I'd know you and given I don't, you don't matter.

USC, the league (on fx channel) is technically about sports. It's about a fanstasy football league and trust me, if you watch, you'll fall for it a bit too. HILARIOUS!!!

Vick is from my neck of the woods and where I love animals, where I am all about being a vegetarian for life some day (I like meat), it's whatever. We use animals in the most vile ways. He shot them in the head. It's a tragedy but...

*TOUCHDOWN*

Posted by caligula
Nah, if I did know you, I'd know you and given I don't, you don't matter.

USC, the league (on fx channel) is technically about sports. It's about a fanstasy football league and trust me, if you watch, you'll fall for it a bit too. HILARIOUS!!!

Vick is from my neck of the woods and where I love animals, where I am all about being a vegetarian for life some day (I like meat), it's whatever. We use animals in the most vile ways. He shot them in the head. It's a tragedy but...

*TOUCHDOWN*

I'll have to check it out. First, I'll need to see what time it comes on, because I don't watch stuff, so I'll have to make an effort to remember to watch it.
Trust me, I get the whole animal thing...I love animals, but on the other side, people forgive people for other heinous crimes, not that he needs my or anybody elses forgiveness. HE, has to live with what he's done. I personally would allow myself to get in harms way to save an animal or a child before I would an adult. I've seen too many times where people have saved an adults life in a life threatening situation, only to have that person try to sue them! Our society is f@cked up in general...

Yeah and you're still THAT insignificant...always

ToC shaddup

USC, I think it comes on weds/thurs. I usually catch marathons of it late at night b/c truthfully, I don't watch much tv these days either. If it helps, it's the same network that it's always sunny in philadelphia comes on.

And yes, people are nuts. I love animals and I understand how one can become attached to your personal pet but not all dogs go to heaven. Some animals are born assholes and are a nuisance. But anyhoo...

Marriage = contract.