I'm a newbie with a crush on a Libran!

One of my closest friends is a Libran. We met about 5 years ago, but I was married (to a Scorpian), so we were just friendly. I wouldn't even call us friends. When my marriage ended, I started seeing him one-on-one and we became friends, and now he's one of my closest friends. I could have sworn he was interested, but I told him upfront that I wasn't dating for a while. Since then, though, I think he's lost interest 😢

I'm now ready to date, and have fallen deeply for this man. I respect him more than I've ever respected any man before. I asked him if he was interested in dating, and he said that although he'd thought about it, he believed we should just stay friends. We see each other 4 - 5 times a week, have many interests in common and the same friends. It just makes so much sense for us to date, but he says he's not interested in persuing things.

He told a mutual friend that he thought I wasn't his 'type'. His type is quiet (I'm not!) and he also is worried about the implications of a break up because we have mutual friends. We can spend hours on end together and never run out of things to say. I've talked to him again and told him I think he's amazing, but that I respect his decision. I did say that if he ever was to change his mind, I would be interested. I don't want him to think I'll be waiting for him, but honestly, I've never felt this way about a man before now, so in reality I probably would be!

I can't get him out of my mind. I haven't even kissed this man. I'm used to being the girl that got together with a guy who liked me slightly more than I liked him. For the first time in my life, though, I've allowed myself to fall completely and it's resulting in nothing. It's heartbreaking!

Timeline: Separated from husband in Sept 06; became close friends with Libran in December/January. Had initial conversation about dating in May and 2nd one at th end of June. Won't be divorced till September 07.

Anyone else with a Libran crush? Any insights?

My Libra was BORING.. gave me WAYYYY too much freedom, if that's imaginable! And he won't go away!

C'mon ladies you wan't controlling types? that's a pretty sad thing to say.

Thanks everyone.

I posted someting very similar on the Libran forum and got great insights. :-) I think I just have to leave it to him, based on what I was reading there.

Someone mentioned the Gem / Scorp combo... Yeah, in my experience, the Gem/Scorp situation was nasty. Very passionate, and we're still friends now, but gee, we fought every *single* day. Even on our wedding day we fought (because I danced too much!). I remember one day we did not fight, and I was amazed. I told him we hadn't fought, and then we fought about the fact that we did or didn't fight every day- hehe. After 5 years, I got sick of the fighting, but I have to admit... the up & down attracted me to him. It was either really high or really low. Now I'm looking for stability, but still intellectual discussion and the Libran is perfect.

I've never dated an air sign, which is crazy because I'm all air (Aqua moon, Libra rising!). Before the Scorpio, I was in a 9 year relationship to a Virgo. Yep, I was attracted to mysterious, possessive men. No longer :-)

"I remember one day we did not fight, and I was amazed. I told him we hadn't fought, and then we fought about the fact that we did or didn't fight every day"


lol

They say a relationship with a Gemini is never boring .. I hope like hell this isn't the reason why.

"They say a relationship with a Gemini is never boring .. I hope like hell this isn't the reason why."

Ahh, no, I wasn't the argumentative one.. he was. Of course, I fought back, but that was because I was sick of his constant criticism. I could easily live in harmony. In fact, since I've left him, everyone's amazed at what a calm person I am (been described as 'zen'!). His moods made such an impression on me that I became a difficult person. Now I'm happy, love life, love people and am back to being a true Gemini :-)

"Now I'm happy, love life, love people and am back to being a true Gemini :-)"


Well, that is everything to be thankful for, then .. if you are being the exact person you believe you are inside.

I truly don't believe anyone is bad .. we just bring out the bad in some people.

Everybody is perfect for somebody .. but, everybody isn't perfect for everybody.

"Everybody is perfect for somebody .. but, everybody isn't perfect for everybody."

You are right, Angel. In fact, that's what I keep telling my ex who is a little down on himself. We weren't right for each other, but there's someone for him.

An ended relationship isn't a failure .. it's an experience.


"We met about 5 years ago, but I was married (to a Scorpian), so we were just friendly."
"have many interests in common and the same friends."
"he also is worried about the implications of a break up because we have mutual friends."

Regarding your original post .. the above quotes are what stuck in my mind, especially in reference to this Libran saying that he thought an intimate relationship isn't appropriate at this time.

If you met him 5 years ago, then is it safe to assume that he is also a friend of your ex?
You have the same friends .. is your ex also in the social order of these mutual friends?

Also, the last quote is the real indicator .. do you know what he is meaning by this? If he is concerned about the implications, then what he is saying is that if he gets into a relationship with you now, then it will imply that he is the very reason for the break-up with your husband. And he doesn't want to be that "implication" .. which, leads me to believe that he does, indeed, have feelings of some sort for your ex, because if he didn't, then he wouldn't be concerned about how this will look.

From the way you talk, you sound head-over-heels for this guy. But, if he's friends with your ex then this puts him in a very comprimising position. Men have silent rules, just as women do .. if he's your ex's friend, gemini16 .. then he must observe The Golden Rule, if he's any kind of real man. If this is the case .. then I too, have a deep respect for him.

I don't know the details of the situation, so I can only make assumptions .. but, this is how it sounds to me, with all this talk about mutual friends, implications of a break up, as well as, his hesitation to become intimate though it appears as though there is an interest.

Yes, he is friends with my ex. He is closer to me than he is to the Scorpian, but they are friends, and still see one another. They mostly have a "talk football and current events" friendship, but they're mates. I discussed this on the Libran message board, and apparently it's a real no-go area for Librans (and like you say, a lot of males).

Scorpian told me he said to the Libran that it was okay to date me. However, I'm not meant to know this, and Libran doesn't know I know this. Libran said to me (after discussion with my ex) that my ex was a jealous and possessive guy... and that actions speak louder than words. I do actually wonder what went on in their conversation, but I'll see.

I'm divorced officially in September because it takes 12 months here in Australia. From time to time, he reminds me I'm a 'married' woman, even though he knows I'm separated.

We're going away (in a group of friends) in September after I'm divorced... and he asked me to share a room... as friends. I'm hopeful, but trying not to be. If by the end of 2007 nothing's happened, then I'll take it that nothing ever will.

Oh, and as for my ex being in the social order of the mutual friends - there are are 8 of us in our group of friends, and ex is the 9th. He doesn't get invited to most of our social functions, but he does from time to time. Mostly the 8 of us socialise to the exlusion of others, but if we're having a big party or whatever, my ex is invited.

"He told a mutual friend that he thought I wasn't his 'type'."

He's not uninterested, gemini16, or he wouldn't have asked you to share a hotel room with him after the divorce. In your original post you expressed concerns about how to capture him .. it appears as though you've already done that. And seeing that he's a respectful man, by his actions which are speaking louder than words .. then his judgement is likely solid, which means he sees you as a lady, and someone worth his respect.

If he would show this kind of loyalty and respect to his mate, to be a decent man and NOT put his hands on you until after the divorce .. then he is a dedicated, loyal, worthy man.

You've found yourself a keeper, gemini16 🙂

I think he found himself a keeper, also 🙂

Thank you, P-angel. I hope you're right, but as I keep telling myself... even if it's not meant to be, this Libran has shown me how much I can feel for a man, and that's a lesson I'm pleased to have. I used to hold myself back a little, and never completely fall and now I have and it's pretty nice. Would be nicer if I was with him, but it's still nice. Plus, I have him in my life as a friend, and that's something very special, too.

Thanks :-)