Someone having control over you.

Once again, wanting to hear more about what Gems would do and not do in this situation if you're willing to give me a logical answer.

Gems and I were talking tonight.

We met 8 years ago, but weren't close like we are now. Meanwhile, years ago, he got closer to a Pisces, who ended up being insecure and controlling. Pisces told Gem to cut all ties with me, because she saw me as the second girl in Gem's life. Like a mistress.
They had two kids together because she wanted Gem to stay forever and tricked him into not using condoms, lied about going on the pill. He felt trapped, being a father at a young age, cheated on her, he told her, she kicked him out.
She then started dating another man. Gem messaged me the next day she kicked him out, said he was sorry, told me about her controlling him and how she forced him to stop talking to me, how he had to hide to text me.
They've been separated for 2 years.
She's still dating that other guy. They're happy.
Gem is missing is family, said he want her back.
Gem and I are dating, even though we don't call it that. Not dating officially because he says he want her back, and because I want him to be happy, I encourage him to do it. I'd never get in the way of him and his kids.
But he promised that he won't let her control him anymore if he does get her back and that I will be a part of his life.

So, tonight, we talked about him and his roommates and since we've been closer/dating/being intimate for about a year and half, I mentioned us hanging out, me visiting him.
He said that if Pisces see me and Gem together, she won't allow him to see his kids anymore.

I told him: WTF. She can have someone and you can't?
He didn't know what to say.
I asked him if we would need to hide, and he said he didn't know.

I told him that he shouldn't let her ex control him, that it's very selfish of her to control who he's with, who he's talking to, dating. Told him I know she hates me, but what she's doing is wrong. That he doesn't deserve to be hurt like that by her at all. Told him I don't like people who are mean and hurting him.

He didn't answer.

So Geminis that I love oh so much (I'm half one, and we are indeed awesome)

1- What would push you to let someone control your life like that?

2- If someone said to you what I said to him tonight, how would that make you feel?

3- Are you the kind of people to agree with someone when they say things like what I said to him, but not change anything out

this situation is more of a universal thing, rather than a "sign" thing. you can't con him out of the situation. you probably won't win in this situation, either... you have to wait for him to FINALLY make the decision that an abusive relationship isn't healthy. then, all you can do is be there for him to help put the pieces back together with encouraging words. for me, and coming out of abusive relationships, NO ONE could tell me... if they did, i would grow stubborn and unmovable! my loved ones would simply have to wait until i had enough. it may get to that point..... it may not. but the more you tell someone who they can/cannot love, the more distance and resentment it will cause. as painful as it may be to watch your "friend" go through abuse, there's nothing you can do until HE makes the decision to get out of it. with that being said, you should really rethink your "friendship" with him... seems like you are really wanting to be with this guy. a guy who is displaying an unhealthy life- style . just an observation.