Aquarius Woman ~ Leo Ex-Man

Long Time Lurker.....First Time Poster! Sorry it's long 😢

So my story is, I met my Leo man last September and we started a FWB relationship. Between September and December we start getting closer and developing feelings. We had our first date on New Years Eve, and officially became a couple in March. He always told me I was the only girl he could be himself around and the first girl he was ever truly committed to.

Well, I managed to mess that up in April by betraying his trust. I realized how much I truly loved him when I was on the verge of losing him and spent all of April and May begging for forgiveness and trying to make it up to him. In June, I took the love blinders off and realized he never planned on getting back with me and was only using me for companionship until he found the next person. As heartbreaking as that was, I decided I still wanted him in my life as a platonic friend. Several times I brought up the platonic friends thing and it was met with grown up tantrums and just being told flat out no. I finally had enough earlier this month when I found out he was lying about sleeping with other people and I cut my contact with him completely (I'm also the first girl to ever leave him).

All I've heard since then is how he still wants us to be friends. Now that I'm at the point where I'm over my heartbreak and started talking to him again as friends, all I hear from him is we don't have enough communication and interaction (he said he's used to having more of that with other friends).

So I increased communication and started trying to be more of just a regular platonic friend to him. I talk to him about work and it's met with cold and distance on his part, I talk about other woman with him (as I do with all my male platonic friends), and he gets outright mad about it. I love him as a person, I know he's a great friend, but I'm confused on how to approach him now. I don't want to lose him out of my life completely, but I'm growing tired of his confusing behavior. Help!!!

Did you like his attention and suddenly don't have it anymore after what? You said you messed it up in April. Did you go out with some other guy?

From my own experience, guys can't be friend to a woman. There ALWAYS is SEX in their minds!

Get clear with what you want from him.

Lol! So very true! Yes, I went out with another guy and lied about it and he found out. Perfect world scenario, we remain platonic friends. Real world scenario will probably not end up that way 😢

Chances are he will not trust you again.

However it seems, you don't really love him otherwise you wouldn't have dated someone else.

Leos come on pretty strongly when interested. Their courtship can be pretty flattering. When he pulls away, you certainly feel their withdrawal.

It might be possible you two building friendship again, but I doubt it.

Posted by seraph
The answers are all there. I'll reply more broadly a little later.

Deep and mysterious....ooooohhhh Mufasa !! 😉

Posted by seraph
The answers are all there. I'll reply more broadly a little later.

Noooooooooo! I'm so impatient. LOL. FUM - I understand the trust issue because it stems from both sides now. I didn't realize how much I really loved him until it was too late. Even though I understand we may not be able to build a friendship given the circumstances, he still does the whole Hot/Cold thing to me which I think confuses me. He still calls me pet names (baby, love, etc), and was just recently trying to plan a trip with me out of town. He told me I wasn't showing enough affection and communication on his birthday, in spite of my numerous birthday texts and e-mail. He even took my vacuum to use last week so I could see him again (his words). Seeing how this man has no shortage of woman, it's strange to me the extra attention that I still get. I know he doesn't like to burn bridges and that's fine, I just don't understand all the extras.

Oh my Jynga - let me answer this. I lied and I COMPLETELY owned up to that. After I lied, I initially just didn't want friendship, I wanted us to be together. Since I still had feelings for him, I was willing to deal with whatever I needed to in order to get him back. Now....throughout different parts of our relationship, before I lied, he admittedly would lie about sleeping with other people and seeing other people because he told me "I couldn't handle the truth". Every girlfriend before me has cheated on obsessively according to him, so lying about the nature of his relationships with other woman just came naturally to him. After we broke up, I told him it was ok to tell me if he was dating and/or sleeping with someone else. I never expected complete monogamy from him, I simply wanted to know what I was dealing with. He claimed from May-July to have went on a couple of dates with one person (which I was fine with), but never have slept with any one else. When I found out he flat out lied, I blocked his numbers and e-mail. He called and e-mailed me me more than 5 different times from phone numbers and e-mail addresses I didn't recognize and I just finally gave in to the friends thing.

That last message sounded so bad. Let me also add that for a time being I did have complete monogamy from him, and he the same from me. I saw the good in him during that time and I guess thought we could eventually get back to that. It makes no sense for two liars to be together, because there will be no trust. But we always had great communication and chemistry, and even though it's hard, trust can be re-earned (I know that from experience). I always felt like we got together by chance, but it would've been a great love story had we made it through because we always had so much love for each other. Yes, I was the first girlfriend type to leave him. He's 36 and only had 3 other girlfriends in his life. He left 2 and the 3rd was a mutual split after 6 years of him cheating on here.

So th good thing about us Lions is that we don't hold grudges. We forgive and move on. We may or may not forget but we usually get over things.

When I read your original post, I did not comment because it was obvious to me that you were not being honest with yourself. You cannot help someone who cannot even keep it real with themselves.

Do me a favor and count how many times you used the word platonic in your original post? Anytime you need to reiterate something that much your are trying to convince yourself of something.

So lets start here, what do you really want? A platonic friendship is not it. We all know it and you know it too.

Just be honest...we can help you but you have to tell us the truth.

Pfffttt Platonic friends with a Leo man? Or one with dominant Leo?

(laughs and laughs) Good luck with that. You're gonna have to get down and dirtttyyy and be truthful about it lady.

Stop being so uptight and release the kraken. lol

I once had a FWB relation with a Leo man. We both had clear expectations of no expectation. I would bet my last penny, eventhough our occasional get-together was nothing more, he didn't run around looking for others.

We both knew when to stop, because we had nothing else in common.

He came back later asking if he could move in with me, but I wished him well and that was it. Never heard from him again.

Just saying, your relation with a LEO has to be based on mutual honesty.

Your LEO man may try again with you in the future, but I wouldn't wait on him. Just move on.

I never cheated on anyone who I loved. So I cannot understand why you felt LOVE for him after losing him. I interpret it as the feeling of rejection. No one likes it.

* WHY NOT ME— *

is the main theme here. Why not HIM? Why not YOU? Because it wasn't meant for you. He showed interest, but YOU walked off. You have to figure why you feel the way you do now. Is that truly love?

Ok, let me address everyone at once. Feb16Aqua (who I love right now because we have the same birthday), I feel out of control because I'm not in control. I want things to go a certain way, and they're not. I feel like he keeps trying to play mind games with me and I just want to move on. I'm not completely over him yet, so the mind games are slowing pulling me back in, and then every time I'm back in a little, I'm somehow reminded why we can't be together because of a lie or I find out he said something about me behind my back, etc. Maybe go back to no contact?

Nala 13 - I have before had previous relationships turn into platonic friends, so that is what's normal to me. I do still love him, but I don't trust him. At first, I wanted us to go back to the loving monogamous relationship we once had, but I finally realized that's not going to happen. I hold on way too long to friendships and relationships hoping the person will do right, and usually they keep showing me the real them until I finally pay attention and realize I was holding on for nothing. We started out as friends, and both always agreed we wanted to stay friends no matter what. I just personally want the platonic part because he is the ultimate man hor (is an admitted sex addict) as a single man, and I want no parts of that.

FUM - I have started meeting and slowly dating others. It's hard to explain the Love thing though. Yes, I have to figure things out. Yes I'm a mess!

Posted by aquarius80
I feel like he keeps trying to play mind games with me and I just want to move on.

So move on then.

One question though. You say you don't trust him..why would you want to be friends with someone you do not trust? An untrustworthy friend..isn't that an oxymoron?

You want to know what I think... Me thinks you want to be back with him but you are scared he is going to try and get you back for whatever you did to him. I suspect it was more than just a date. That is why you can't trust him. I find it ironic that you are the one with the trust issues when you were he one that cheated.

I'm not judging you. I have done my fair share of cheating. However, I was under no illusions that a friendship would somehow rise from the ashes of the relationship after the fact. That's just well...ridiculous.

That is a HUGE oxymoron Nala13 and I don't have an intelligent response as to why. I'm pretty sure because I'm not completely over him, and my Lingering romantic feelings have something to do with it. I actually felt like he already got me back repeatedly for what I did.

More background now....I initially went out with another guy (yes that's all that was), after I was snooping and found out he 1) completely denied seeing me to a friend of his, and 2) was telling other people behind my back that he was still looking for the "one". I snooped because I wanted to know if he was really sincere about being in love with me because it was so fast and that is where the trust issues began for me. I was very wrong and childish for taking the approach of cheating myself instead of just calling it off then.

Oh, and I don't know my chart Feb16Agua. Sorry!