Fresh ideas about old problems and the future

So in recent weeks I've been pretty happy with my life. In seems to move steadily along, and I seem to be progressing in the different directions I want to go in. I've learned that projects that I start, never really end. They don't become complete, only more complete as time goes on, but none of them are ever really finished. I've made new friends, and I think the relationships I have with them are far better than any I've ever had. And so of course I still occasionally reflect on my experiences that are described in previous posts I've made here, and this is how I feel about those now.

Starting with that libra woman for which I pined. I still think I will always like the things about her that I liked then. The issue for me was always why did I have to hold on so tight and try so hard? Because I always felt like I understood that to like someone meant to just leave them alone and be free to do whatever they wanted. So why couldn't I do that with her? And I think that the reason was because I wanted her to be all the things I liked about her, and whenever there was something I didn't, like one time when she said she liked to pop vicodin and drink pabst, it made me feel like I had to get her before she messed herself up even more and couldn't be repaired. And I really think thats what it was all about. I mean, obviously, she likes doing stuff like that, so maybe it's not really a bad thing for her, and thats who she is. I don't want that. I would just see something beautiful destroying itself and it would make me unhappy, whether that was really what was happening or not. But even if I let that go, if I continued to hang out with her, it wouldn't matter, I would still see the same thing, and I would be surrounding myself with something that made me unhappy. I'll just end there, because that really sums up that whole experience. For the future, the goal will be to surround myself with things that make me happy, instead of things that I wish could.