Hollow

I have lost my soul. I am a bottomless pit of a person, a frail shell of flesh and tears. I do not remember ever having a soul, actually. All I remember is darkness.

I wish it would end.

I do not want your pity. I am not worthy of your kindness. I am undeserving of that respect, although I demand it. I would not go without it. Strangely it is comforting, my last tie to life.

I wish it would end.

I do not know what drives me. I am not a whole being, I don't know that I ever was. I was injured before I was born, torn apart and never put back together properly. I'm missing myself. I'm missing that thing which gives other people reason, that keeps them in equilibrium. Instead I am hollow.

I wish it would end.

Why have I always been ignored? Why have I been trampled, cut down, rejected and taken for granted? I've been hurt so many times I don't understand anything but pain. I am confused, sick, and a little dazed; unable to complete my thoughts - unable to make any decisions. You can talk to me but you're talking to an empty mask. I've lost my soul.

I wish it would end.

To You (you know who you are): I love you. I'm sorry for this weakness I'm made from. I'm not broken, I was created in this strange mold of flawed perfection. Sometimes I wonder why you love me. I don't deserve love in this condition, but your patience slowly heals me and your presence fills me. When I'm with you I'm almost complete. I forget the darkness and only feel warmth. You are my sun, my reason. You hold me back when I want to jump. If I was forced to choose, I'd give up the world for you. Hold me, don't judge me. I'll forever be your balance.

This memory of you I never want to end.

for god sakes get on with it end it.

well yeah i'm trying

I wish to remain that anonymous voice inside myself, directing the traffic of my mind from some distance in the clouds.

Los palabras son el sangre de la vida.

Find me a little peace and warm tea, and I will be content. Too many questions plague the world, wearing down each choice until it is hardly a choice at all. Fear is the dictator of decision.

I'm throwing this matter away. . . Waving good bye to it as it rolls out of my car onto the soaking street. I wonder if the guy behind me hit it. I wonder if it's considered littering to purge yourself of extra baggage.

There is nothing that I want more right now then a nice cup of tea. . .

Bengel Spice Tea is very calming and relaxing....

Morgan, I so enjoy reading your awesome writing. You have quite a gift there my friend. Your thoughts are so profound and filled with life. Don't stop. I think what you say has touched a part of all of us at one time or another and if it hasn't yet.....it will.

"As we lie in this bed where lovers lay,
and wonder what goes on upstairs,
We cast our shadow as time goes by,
Hoping to find someone who cares."

I had just finished the love making "act" and suddenly the upstairs neighbor began stomping around. My mind immediately went from the 'act' to the 'fact' that this human next to me did not care for me one bit, therefore 'hoping to find someone who cares'. CARES WOW!! Not loves me or understands me, but just CARES.

I didn't need to write a paragraph for the 'act' that may have even been self destructive on my part..

That is from the book I just had published. I too was lost, but I think it was the company I was keeping.

Please do not do the unthinkable. You are a force.

I wrote this poem a long time ago, and of course it applies to anyone today. I gave my book to a gay friend and we so related though I am hetro (I thinK!!!!)

Love to you Morgan. Write and Share.

morgan, your first writing...if that person is real..do you know their sign? was just wondering who could make a leo feel like that?

Gemini

A Perfect Circle

Hollow


run, desire, run
this sexual being
run him like a blade
to and through the heart,
no conscience
one motive:
cater to the hollow

screaming feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacify this hungering

so grow,
libido throw
dominoes of indiscretions down
falling all around in cycles,
in circles
constantly consuming,
conquer and devour.

'cause its time to bring the fire down
bridle all this indiscretion
long enough to edify
and permanently fill this hollow

screaming feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacifying
feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacifying