Hi Everyone: My Leo friend of 7 months is going through a me, me, me phase. He is in the final stages of a divorce, trying to integrate a 2 year old to a schedule between him and his soon to be ex, trying to run his business, and trying to work on his house.
Now, I totally get that this man has an enormous load on his plate. I am totally a friend to him, although it has the potential of being something more. I am not a nag, no neediness, no drama and we are not sleeping together. I know I am the only woman he has introduced his little one to since being the divorce, and I met his mom a few weeks ago and she liked me alot.
Thing is, in the last few months when he calls or texts, with no hello or how are you, he launches into his issues with the above mentioned items. Then he takes a phone call, puts me on hold, comes back and says he needs to take the phone call and will call me back, which he hardly ever does. I have let a few phone calls and texts go unanswered, but he keeps on until he gets a response from me. I also do not call or text him at all.
Should I say someting to him about this, ignore it and hope it gets better, or ice him?
I have to say also that the title and your thought that it's all about him is wrong. He's going through a lot and is responsible for a child and the child's welfare should and will take precedence over you. YOU are the one who seems to be more concerned about ME, me, me; even though you're just a friend. Can't you put aside your expectations and ego for your friend and sympathize with what he's dealing with at this time in his life? If you can't do that, you can never be a true partner to a Leo.
Donna I hope you feel better. I have been patient, over 7 months. One paragraph doesn't tell the whole story, I can guarantee its not about me. I have long ago put away my expectations and ego, Donna, as much as you would state to the contrary. I've given over 7 months of sympathy and doing stuff for him AND the baby, because I have WANTED to, not because I expect something back.
I see I'm not a part of the regulars on here, and although I was looking for a genuine dialogue about this, I see I'm not going to be that lucky. That's OK.
Thanks Elle. I always appreciate your perspective on things, and appreciate that you didn't use caps to scold me. The original message was that my Leo friend has new found habits of calling and texting and immediately launching into his issues, really without saying even a hello or how are you, then abruptly taking another phone call and basically hanging up on me when I have barely gotten a word in edgewise. This has gone on for about 3 months. Seraph and Donna made me out to be a villan for wanting those "niceties". My simple question was do I say something to him, ignore and go on and hope it gets better, or totally don't respond to anything. I was advised to "back off" which I have done now so much there's no more room to back off without completely not communicating with him.
You're right, my Libra ways....I always do for others. I'm really not resentful for it because I know he is doing the very best he can at the moment. However, my "wanting" something back is in the form of a hello or how are you. I don't think that makes this all about me.
Thanks Seraph and Elle.....points taken. He made it clear that there would be no romance until after he is divorced, which has not happened yet, and I support that. So right now, I know there is romance interest on his part, but we are keeping each other at an arm's length until everything is signed and he is free to move on.
I am helping him with some decor for his house as he freely admits he is out of his element in this area. And I know for a fact that I am the only woman he has introduced his 2 year old to since the divorce commenced in January. So I am going slow, not texting or calling, and being a friend to him when he needs it.
i just worry that if you become too much of a willing sounding board for him during this time that the relationship will never evolve beyond that. his behaviour reminds me of a leo guy i used to work with a while ago who really is a friend without romantic interest...he comes and goes with complete inconsistency...i was chatting to him on the phone and he had to go abruptly having just asked when we were going out for a drink, lol. i'm a bit like his 'port in a storm' cos he's had all sorts of gf troubles and so usually, when we speak, it's all about him.
point is, he really is a friend. there was a vague romantic interest for a short while but it was no more than curiosity on both sides. perhaps it's more of a cultural thing because mediterraneans have the view that friends are 'bread when you're hungry'. you're in that role to a certain extent with this leo. he has to appreciate that all relationships are a two-way process and you as a libra NEED to have that balance.
also, you're kind of perpetuating the relationship in its current status being so accommodating.
LOL....said only like Roxi can say....thank you. The right word I'm looking for is balance. Yes, as a Libra, I look for balance consistently. I don't mind being a bit OFF balance, but look to right it when the time arrives. However, everyone goes through bad times and I certainly value my close friends when I need them, and as you know, I have leaned on my friends quite a bit in the last several months.
I have the same concerns you expressed...I'm seeing that while he has LOTS of acquaintenances, he doesn't have that many close friends that he lets in to his world. I seem to be one of them...he even went out of his way a month ago to introduce me to his Mom when she was in town.
You're a good friend to at least go out of your way to seek a solution knowing that it would be unmanageable to sustain the bond you share under these circumstances.
He has alot on his plate but that doesn't mean that he has the right to allow your friendship to become one sided. That is also a piece on your behalf as well.
A Libra friend of mine has a Leo mate, and she has become quite adept in allowing the King to see his mistakes by her stepping back, keeping her poker face, and within 30 minutes he's red under the collar knowing how foolish and self centered he appeared while being honestly sorry.
I'll always admire that skill she holds.
Next time he calls, cut him off and spill your quips on the day and drama - if he objects or becomes rude - just politely state that you thought that the manner was the norm he has displayed. Nicely though - the wrong tone could get him whining again
Thank you dear Huntress. I've learned the fine art of backing off in the last several months. Seraph advised me 3 months ago to adopt this stance with him and I have. I don't call or text him, however, I will answer the phone when he calls or answer his texts. He has shown who he is presently and I have the option of accepting that behavior or not.
Thank you for the well wishes...I hope you are doing well too, and loving your new job!!!
"Most people strive to achieve balance within themselves. In terms of positive
male from King Of December
Hey everybody! I'm new and I'm a Sag male. I just happen to see this topic on the main page. From what I've read, the comments/advice given are right on point. I'm basically going through the same thing as callmegenesis with a few exceptions. I dated a Libra about four months ago who had just filed for divorce. We had been friends for years and there was definitely a romantic interest. I kept my distance because she was married, but became very close before she filed because I was the only one she trusted. The relationship between us was what God intended for love to be between a man and a woman. I treasured her, adored her, gave her my all and she did the same for me. But sadly, it ended. She said she needed space, which I understood, but yet didn't stick to it. She still had feelings for her husband although he is an abusive Scorpio. Things got a little nasty between us because I was frustrated with how she was treating me. She basically did the same thing your Leo is doing. Part of it is selfishness, but it is mainly because he(your Leo) and she are experiencing additional stress of a divorce on top of everyday responsibilities. Me and my ex barely speak and I hardly text. I've basically done what you've done...back off almost to the point of non communication.
I say this to encourage you to work on you. I, like you, invested my all in my Libra. But I had to realize that she couldn't reciprocate at that time and she may never will. When we parted ways, she said she was indebted to me. I've gotten a lot of info on this site. About Libras and even myself. Things like this have nothing to do with signs, it's just what people are willing to do versus what they're going through. He may decide to just keep you as a friend. I know it hurts to hear that but it's a possibility. But I think he has plans for something more because he's introduced you to his child and mother. Something big for a Leo and men in general. So, just continue to be a friend...a distant one. It's not about slowing communication, but what happens when he calls/texts. Answer him on your own time. Make him work for you a little. I know how you feel. You simply want reciprocation and consideration. That's only fair. I know. Still be a friend and be there for him, but find a way to show him that he has to value you as well. When you turn the tables a little, he will either step up or he won't. That's the risk of love. Show your strength. I wish you well and I hope you two hook up.