Leos, what do you do with excess rage?

I'm finding it difficult at this moment keeping composure after a fight with my Scorpion. I'm not upset in terms of sadness, rather - primal rage. When I'm this angry, I'm prone to breaking things, saying the coldest and most horrifying things to those around me (always the things that one holds as a 'weak spot', and just feeling bloodthirsty raw anger.

Its taking forever for me to type this because I'm filtering out all of the expletives and very.. violent thoughts. I'm not unstable or dangerous by any means, but shit - I'm being sent on a trip to Hell with this one today. Attacked some of my weakest points. It escalated to where I was basically growling for him to get out of my car or I'd call the cops while in front of his house because COULD NOT mentally and emotionally handle his prescence around while we fought. And I won't repeat the last words to me, but they weren't very pretty.

And now I'm sitting in a parking lot in my car stealing Wi-fi. I don't want to return home with this rage. I don't know how to handle it right now, and the one thing that tamed me was sparring when I practiced marital arts. I don't now, and honestly can't do that while in this situation. I just would like to know how other Leos handle that raw primal rage. Thanks.

Wow I'm really good with filtering out all my anger and swears. I promise its there. Just hidden via Internet 😉

you should blog

Posted by sheathedclaws


And now I'm sitting in a parking lot in my car stealing Wi-fi.

LOL.
Gangsta

Not gonna lie sheath. You put me on edge a bit after you've snapped at me a few times (unintentionally of course) Now i'm scared to post.

I mean shit dude. I'm jsut sittin' there, chillin', taking a break from my college work, posting any old random shit that comes into my atmosphere. Y'know, getting the same ol' responses from people and shit "ah aa causing trouble" "ah aa causing mischief" "aa you little devil you!!!". Then all of a sudden you come along and say "VILE".? Y'know? Hurts my feelings.

Ugh, I'm such a monster. You poor thing 😛

I'd love to see this proof of somebody saying 'aa you little devil you!!!'

THREE exclamation points? I don't know if I can compete with that - woah. Let me pull out my thesaurus here for some nasty vocabulary..

You sound like you're describing wine.

Of course after the first 1.5 glasses idgaf about what it tastes like.

"acquired taste". Not sure i like that? Sounds like nice for weird.

Posted by AA
"acquired taste". Not sure i like that? Sounds like nice for weird.

You're so intuitive 😉

Posted by sheathedclaws


Of course after the first 1.5 glasses idgaf about what it tastes like.

She's good.


I'm feeling littler and littler by the second. (non sarcastic)



Elle's right tho, i haven't met too many raging Leo's. Deffo the moon. One of my best mates is a taurus with scorpio moon and he when he gets going, he's a wrecking ball.

DAMN there it is again? Alpha male here talking about moon signs and shit? It's like when you suddenly realize your crossing your legs and you feel all ashamed of yourself.

But it feels quite sexy? The soft curvy meat seductively overlapping the other... wow

Posted by sheathedclaws

Posted by AA
"acquired taste". Not sure i like that? Sounds like nice for weird.

You're so intuitive 😉

click to expand

cheeky one you are

Posted by AA

Posted by sheathedclaws

Posted by AA
"acquired taste". Not sure i like that? Sounds like nice for weird.

You're so intuitive 😉

cheeky one you are

click to expand

Sounds like nice for intelligent, cute, witty, snarky, and with just the right amount of bite. 😛

But really, thanks for both of your nonsarcastic input. I believe you two are right with those traits coming from my Moon. And leaving to remove myself from the situation was for the best. It's difficult, with him at least - when we're both upset both our Scorpion Moons come out.

I could feel he was really upset and brought him a sweet tea and a card with inside jokes just before midnight. It helped the situation a lot, since I'm prone to going out and getting white girl wasted. Obviously that's not his favorite thing when we're fighting.

Thanks you two.

Rage, hmmmm what do I do with it. Well let me tell you - it doesn't happen very often, maybe once every 3/4 years, but If I was pushed into it, I wouldn't be sitting in that car, I'd be out of it an after him while the engine was still running and if the handbrake wasn't set, the car could roll the fuck down the hill for all i'd care,, cause my only desire would be to get him and have a slam dunk right here, right now, and I wouldn't care who saw or heard 🙂 Always thought I would lose that as I grew older and wiser, nope, still here.

I practice knife throwing
in anger, i mean.

Posted by WoundedLeo
Ha ha! Shah Bano, really? Knife throwing? Remind me to never get in the way :-)

Rage is a terrible thing for me because I tend to turn the rage that I feel toward others inside myself. Not like by auto-mutilation or some crazy thing like that, but rather by blaming myself and calling myself all kinds of terrible things. Very unhealthy!

It's much better to get the rage out and not turn it inward. You can get the rage out by punching pillows or throwimg pillows. Or how about tapping a tennis ball against a wall as hard as you'd like? I'm fond of going for long drives when I'm upset because somehow it actually soothes me. I put the radio on full blast to drown out my own thoughts and just let myself focus on the music and on the road.

Let it out hun, you can't keep it inside - it will fester 🙂 I couldn't go near a car when in a rage, I'd be afraid i'd turn that thing around and go find the fecker and mow him over 😉

Posted by seraph
Start reading the dxp scorp forum.

Then feel lucky that others have it about 10x worse than you.

1. You know I already do read and participate in the Scorpio forum.
2. I never claimed my life was horrible or that I had anything worse off than anyone else.

Honestly, my biggest biggest biggest (yes three times) pet peeve is being compared to others who 'have it worse' because I never claim to have it as such. It goes unsaid that in any given situation somebody has it 'worse', but it doesn't minimize the fact that right here and right now - in these shoes - I'm battling something.

And without an activity to get that out? I revert back to the only ways I know how to cope. I filtered 1,000,000,00x of my actual mood and language there. Don't compare me, or have me compare myself.

Posted by WoundedLeo
Ha ha! Shah Bano, really? Knife throwing? Remind me to never get in the way :-)

.

No, i prefer to do it in my den with no one around; when younger, my father got me a leather sack full of palydo, so the knife will not ricochet off and hit some one else.Now i practice it on pine wood boards . the more furious i am the more excellent my aiming prowess is.i have some magnificent sets of daggers to play with. it really helps to cool down the anger and frustration both.

fencing?

i did try to learn it, but i do not have any Foils or Sabre here, the swords here are sort of Epee type,only heavier, longer and deadlier. but i learnt some basic classical moves.it has it's own grandeur but i still prefer my daggers-quick,clean and efficient. swords are for men.

kicking the shit out of something inanimate is good...especially if you practiced martial arts before....make sure it's inanimate first or at least critically injured, lol. punchbag is ace for letting off steam too. i have anger issues which i hold my mars in leo responsible for. martial arts has been my saviour and the demise of many inanimate objects. i have rages. red mist. my kids usually usher me away from the scene when they see it descending 🙂

what is it that tips you over the edge with your scorp sheathed? does he give you a really irritating smirk when you're losing the plot? that would be enough for me.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
what is it that tips you over the edge with your scorp sheathed? does he give you a really irritating smirk when you're losing the plot? that would be enough for me.

Unfortunately for him, I don't lose the plot 😉

However, in all seriousness it comes down to a couple things. Much of it comes from me being the oldest child for most of my life (estranged from father who took siblings - long story) and he's the youngest child/only (his siblings are quite older). Also, I fight pretty logically while giving warning statements before I 'break'. He's an emotional fighter and very dramatic. Partly so due to his lack of relationship prior to me. Many 'I want to put my head through a wall' is thrown around from him. He doesn't need any further brain damage 😛

I'm lucky to have him though. Especially after days like today.

On that note, this was a nice thread to see tonight. I receivved scary news and must wait until monday to find out if I am able to continue school or not. PT is the only thing I really... love. I have over 60k in school loans and would be graduatingg in September. I'm kicked out of schol otherwise. It's really based on the empathy of the director. I passed everything but turned in something very late for a pass/fail class.


I feel pretty lost in a deep dark hole, because shit - classes start Monday again. I'm not wasting time with any other classes; I've taken everything I need to as gen ed for it.

Do I look for a freaking job or do I wait until Monday?!

....I'm complaining and being a freaking sap. Excuse.

But yeah, you're all really good people just being yourselves. Even without realizing the depth of how you effect others. Thanks 🙂

..... Typos. Ick. No more contacts from crying, so excuse the misspellings.

Emails to her and my student adviser were sent the moment I found out and unreachable until then. Meeting on Monday as early as possible. The director knows me from classes she has taught, and I did explain my seriousness and drive for this degree. I also mentioned that I'd be willing to go on some type of informal academic probation if able to stay on track and pass. I'd show up for volunteer hours at the pro bono clinic she runs, tutor students for free, show up early, stay late to clean lab - anything that would benefit the program and at the same time - my professors/staff and myself.

Thanks Seraph 🙂

Posted by sheathedclaws
I'm lucky to have him though. Especially after days like today.

On that note, this was a nice thread to see tonight. I receivved scary news and must wait until monday to find out if I am able to continue school or not. PT is the only thing I really... love. I have over 60k in school loans and would be graduatingg in September. I'm kicked out of schol otherwise. It's really based on the empathy of the director. I passed everything but turned in something very late for a pass/fail class.


I feel pretty lost in a deep dark hole, because shit - classes start Monday again. I'm not wasting time with any other classes; I've taken everything I need to as gen ed for it.

Do I look for a freaking job or do I wait until Monday?!

....I'm complaining and being a freaking sap. Excuse.

But yeah, you're all really good people just being yourselves. Even without realizing the depth of how you effect others. Thanks 🙂

i don't get it. you are saying you might lose your place on the course cos of one late submission? it must've been a pretty crucial one. surely you performance elsewhere will mitigate this one cock up?

it makes no sense from a business point of view to have a student so close to graduation kicked out of the course...it means they've wasted their resources.

i hope you sort it out. i'll be bloody pissed off if you don't but i don't think that will influence anything much.

try and put it out of your mind over the weekend. nothing you can do.

Posted by sheathedclaws

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
what is it that tips you over the edge with your scorp sheathed? does he give you a really irritating smirk when you're losing the plot? that would be enough for me.

Unfortunately for him, I don't lose the plot 😉

However, in all seriousness it comes down to a couple things. Much of it comes from me being the oldest child for most of my life (estranged from father who took siblings - long story) and he's the youngest child/only (his siblings are quite older). Also, I fight pretty logically while giving warning statements before I 'break'. He's an emotional fighter and very dramatic. Partly so due to his lack of relationship prior to me. Many 'I want to put my head through a wall' is thrown around from him. He doesn't need any further brain damage 😛

click to expand

how does your Scorpion react to the intensity of your rage ?
do you both apologize to each other afterwards, incase some things with the potential to wound other one have been said on both sides.
or, do you both just gulp down the incident and carry on?
and sorry to hear about the glitch in your classes, you will get it sorted, do not worry-you are a lioness after all, born to rule !

Awww Shay, I just read about your school issue.

Just wanted to speak from my experience in hopes that it may help you.
I'm a Libra sun/Scorp rising/Leo moon/Scorp venus/Libra merc

I have a doctorate in a field of medicine. I am very ADD and a severe
insomniac. Never could listen in class more than 5 minutes, but was
very good at learning the material away from class and on my time schedule
(night time). I was good at playing the grades game so I graduated with
a very high GPA. (do I think grades are all that matters when practicing?
Oh hell no! but that's what mattered while in school)

I was/am the type of person that rebelled when it came to "the rules"
And I got myself in some worrisome situations many times just like the one
you have described.

You are passionate about your chosen profession. This is the key to
being an excellent practitioner. I feel in my gut that you will work this
issue out, but no matter what...please don't accept that as defeat. Keep
asking anyone and everyone what can be done until you get an answer
that will allow you to continue toward your goal, even if it is delayed a bit!!!

You happen to be blessed by your age, and if you must have your schooling
delayed, remember that you will still have a long career ahead of you!

In the meantime, go do sprints till you are worn out, or punch a bag at the gym!
I have one hanging in my barn for just these moments. 🙂

I hope this provides a little encouragement over your worry filled weekend!!

(((((Hugs)))))

Posted by SillyFilly
I am very ADD and a severe
insomniac. Never could listen in class more than 5 minutes, but was
very good at learning the material away from class and on my time schedule
(night time). I was good at playing the grades game so I graduated with
a very high GPA. (do I think grades are all that matters when practicing?
Oh hell no! but that's what mattered while in school)

I was/am the type of person that rebelled when it came to "the rules"
And I got myself in some worrisome situations many times just like the one
you have described.

Holy Shiva!

Wow, I must admit, I've never heard anyone with that close relation to my situation.

I'm a severe insomniac and very high rating of ADHD diagnostically.


After high school, I finally advocated for myself and went to seek treatment for my insomnia and ADHD. I was never diagnosed because I didn't want to be another 'medicated child'. But I was so sick of people thinking I was giving half assed ecuses for being lat or my bounds and ounds of energy that sometimes was not well contained. I'm sure you're familiar with what the insomniac ADD/ADHDer is like 😉

PT is perfect for my diagnosis and me as a person. No longer am I just ADHD with a disadvantage, but I'm a kinesthetically in-tune and an individual with the ability to multitask safely while keeping my patient's attention.

I know I'm young, and will continue on. But I'm just scared at the cost if I do fail... and even worse... the downward spiral of myself if this happens. Sadly enough, I am aware of my patterns of behavior with dealing with things like this. Definitely not able to handle that road again.

an update:

1. director loves me and wants me back in
2. CI needs to check quality of paperwork
3. ....................

meeting with the head of the office of teaching and learning at 12 tomorrow. She can revoke and dismiss this. evidently I was kicked out of school. Failed another class that I took to stay full time but it was an Internet course and I never attended. Heh.

Fuck.

Giving it my all. I refuse to be 20 with 60k debt, no degree, and a half paid wedding dress - dammit!

Sheathed

it was just one late submission! how can they kick you out of school for one late submission, and ok not attending the internet class. it's just not fair, but bizarre as well, they have invested their on your teaching and training, you have spent your financial, emotional and mental resources on this thing.
what about that woman you are supposed to see tomorrow, what sort of administrator is she? i mean to ask, what do people generally say about her--is she fair,harsh, illogical, dried up old bat, or an accommodating person?
Do not let your rage or any such feeling overcome you when you are meeting her.OK !
Do not worry, i know it sounds cliched but by the Grace of God everything would be fine,

The head of teaching and learning liked me alot, and understood my struggles over the past year that led me here.

1. Went off an SSRI (anti-anxiety for my social anxiety and for my seasonal affective disorder) and the side effects were horrifying. My insomnia turned into long chunks of awake deadness. My sex drive (... yeah, er, the SSRI helped lower it thank god) was actually getting in the way of Scorp and I. I just couldn't understand 3 x a day isn't an everyday thing for men. And my kinks were out of control. I'm an impulse junkie, if you haven't noticed. My road rage was terrifying. Oh, and a bumper sticker could make me cry. Went back on - best decision. But one of my classes by then were just bombed.

2. I hadn't seen my father in 7 years. Talked to him on and off after literally tracking his information down 5 years ago. I didn't call him much because his brain is not what it was from the heroin. If you didn't know him, he'd seem just a bit quirky (like me, ha) but he's always going on about conspiracy theories and shit that makes me nervous. So one day he came randomly to my state without telling me. We had dinner with my fiance. He went to an Indian reservation on the way up and brought me a crystal ball wrapped in animal hide. He told me he'd tell me before he left and he'd never leave without a goodbye. Within 3 days and no contact he was back in his state and I found out 2 days after.

Oh, and he ruined the one trace of innocence and hope I had left in the world by telling me my sister was conceived when he and my step-mother were on X. My little sister was 9 years younger and the first time I held her, I felt my maternal sense kick in.

That just threw me off when I was tapering off too.

I never want to meet another that I knew well before drugs/alcohol destroyed their potential. I just can't take the before/after picture. I grew up seeing him relapse again and again and again and again x 100000. It makes me sick to my stomach.

----

She waived the dismissal and approved me as a student, but informed me that my clinical coordinating instructor said that I would not have passed even if my paperwork was on time. I emailed him asking why (I turned in everything and my clinical itself passed me). I hate this.

shrgbgdjge47ydf. Sorry for bitching so much. I'm just SO not down for repeating the clinical AGAIN. omfg.

Posted by sheathedclaws
----

totally...

Posted by sheathedclaws
My sex drive (... yeah, er, the SSRI helped lower it thank god) was actually getting in the way of Scorp and I. I just couldn't understand 3 x a day isn't an everyday thing for men.

OMG WTF? & HTH?

okay at fist it was just a hunch, but that's just clinched it. Sex IS important to the scorpio moon native...

Posted by AA
okay at fist it was just a hunch, but that's just clinched it. Sex IS important to the scorpio moon native...

at fist? Heh 😛

It's also a constant pull for 'life and death', embodiment of all things carnal/primitive, the raw passion of it. It's very much a complete expression of all things that increase the heart rate - stress, excitement, hatred, anger, love, fear, etc etc.

I typically need a few things in my day that completely max out all senses and mind before I can attempt to stop and catch my breath, let alone rest.

The SSRI has helped tons to where my sex drive is only a little high instead of GO GO GO GO GO. 😛

Small updates on this, if it is to be given...

1. Told I failed the course (:/ my heart is broken)
2. Given option to take again
3. When I tell my Cap mother, I may be murdered (half kidding )
4. The class is offered in July - ugh
5. Looking for a job to keep busy
6. I'm about to drown my pain in a chicken caesar salad
7. I have terribly blurry photos of the kitten I am getting. She doesn't sit still. But she's getting a bit antisocial and that worries me since my 'now' cat is already very quirky and antisocial himself. I don't want hierarchy issues..




I may decide on a different one. I feel bad.. but you know?

I just scored a face to face interview with Jenny Craig, after a telephone interview and online application.

Working until the semester comes, or until my mother kills me. She's in the next room wailing crying. I wish I moved out at 18, ugh. I don't care where or what but I'm getting a job that's not fast food or 'consultant/marketing'.

I have a 4 yo black cat. He's very quirky and likes to pretend he's a panther. He has a 'Beta' cat personality and acts like I'm his Alpha. Outside the home, he is Alpha - however. He's a Taurus, and ACTS like it for sure.

He's jealous and has a strong territorial streak. The kitten will have to be able to get along more than Poe in order to get Poe to get along with him. Do you know what I mean? So because the kitten has been a bit antisocial, I may have to choose a different one for those purposes.

I ended up not eating.

Heheh, he's a cutie!!! I know Poe can handle another because my beloved (now passed) Savannah named Wilson and him started to get along before my Savannah was hit by a car. We also have a tabby who is like 3,000 yo bit he's a family cat. He's about 1k in weight too 😉 Poe is mine though.

I ended up eating pizza and rice. Ugh, I'm so disgusted with eating that.

And thank you - Lord knows I need it. Mom just said I need to pay rent and for prescriptions now. I understand that... it's just scary.

Aw dear, renal failure with cats is so devastating.... That's actually why I switched my cat to canned food. Couldn't even dream of going through a small risk of that again. We've always had cats since I was a little girl. We have had 4 pass over the years and I can't tell you how many times I've wept for them. I'm so sorry about your Lewkee. It's so rough leaving a piece of your heart like that. I'm sure he's so much more comfy now... and with a healthy kitty body pouncing around wherever his spirit is. Even if there is no heaven or no afterlife... it's still a comforting thought that our loved ones aren't in pain or discomfort...

Oooh your cousin's Bengal is gorgeous!!! It was so amazing having Wilson - like another dog. He was so tall and long, heh. I'm fighting back tears now as silly as that is - he was such a companion. LOL and I remember he used to stand on my (then boyfriend) fianc? and shove his (HUGE) balls in his face, unknowingly. Oh, he was so awkward!!

I know, definitely ew. I'm probably going to begin jogging tomorrow morning so I can get stress out. I need to get my stride back. Maybe sell some things for room and cash.

I feel guilty on not sending back your report. I will soon, as soon as I get a break from all this chaos.

Thanks honey 🙂