My leo friend challenged me.

I have know my good guy friend(leo man) for 12yrs. I am a scorpio woman. we have been casual good friends. Recently started seeing his behavior change towards me. He is complementing me saying I am beautiful, confident , articulate etc. He would ask me if guys r crushing over me etc. he started sharing w me his very personal stuff. He has moved to some other place nd visit my area every 3-4 months for wwork. He will always call me when he is in my area. We always flirted lightly but this time it was little intense. He even messaged me saying he is already missing me from the airport..etc. He told me he is attracted to somebody but not telling me her name.
Anyways we started chatting online ( first time as he gave me his personal id). Its been quiet fun. Mostly i would initiate the chat online as my status is mostly invisible all the time so he said that as he can't see me i should do it. First couple of days it was quiet intense and then it started to get little bit calm. Maybe he is a very busy man. I am busy too but will find ways to chat with him couple of times a week. Couple of days back we were chatting and i said that as he doesn't say hi to me first i thought i will say hello. He was like as i am invisible so he can't see me. whereas my status was available that day but he said it still shows invisible. Me being scorpio didn't quiet believe him but didn't argue. Anyways during our convo he said that its my loss if i don't say hi to him and he can't stop me from doing that. He has been saying this plenty of times that its my loss and this time it ticked me. I said that we will see whose loss it is if i stopped chatting w him alltogether. I was like you will not admit but you will miss me. He was like bring it on. Pull the lever. I was like is it a challenge and he was yes it is. I said ok i accept. I told him that its our last chat and anyways its no big deal for us as we didn't quiet chat/or call much before also and he was like true. We said bye and logged off. Its been 5 days and i have not chatted. He never initiated. I make it point to change my status to available. I am sticking to my decision but would like to know will he contact me as he is testing me right now or it will just end. One thing i am not his doormat and their is no way i am taking the first step here. He becomes very arrogant at times which makes me feel bad. I have been his loyal friend nd hope that counts. What do you guys think? Pls help

You're being just as stubborn as him. Leos are fixed as well as Scorpios. Either initiate it if you want to keep the friendship, or just accept it as gone if you can't show him you care. Leos will be stubborn while being miserable - especially males. They need to keep their 'pride'.

Thanks Sheathedclaw. For me it's not about ego, it's more about my self respect. I have done a lot for this man. I also need to know if he cares. I feel it's his time to show. If I lose my respect now I know he will never respect me again. I have cared for him without expecting anything. He needs to do something for me to know he cares. I am no desperate woman seeking his attention.

then do nothing and let him come to you 🙂

as a scorp myself, i think leo men make us behave in a way we're not comfortable with. i was almost literally plucking petals off a flower..'he loves me, he loves me not', LOL....never mooned over a man like that before in my life!!

I understand that well. I'm a Scorpio Moon with Leo Sun. I could have a battered a bruised ego, but maintaining my self respect and pride (to me pride is not ego) is a fight I'll never surrender.

Do whatever maintains your values and respect, without ever putting them aside. I have nothing but respect for your cause. He better wake up and get to putting that effort in. 🙂 let us know how it goes.

Firstly thank you all for your views and taking time out to help me. I know it's funny what Leo men do to we Scorpio women. Lol. Driving us crazy 🙂 I am hoping it's just a stupid way of testing me otherwise I am gone. I am simply asking him to acknowledge my presence in his life. He seems fickle to me. For few days he was so passionate, flirting nd sincere and next moment he was all arrogant. I just don't understand all this. It actually confuses me what's his intentions are. When he was visiting my area recently he gave me so much attention. We had a small fight, we didnt talk for 2 weeks but when I tried to explain him that's his misunderstanding he actually hugged me nd said sorry that he hurt me so much. I was quiet surprised. So I just dont understand these mixed feelings. Maybe I just thought too much of it. He actually was never into me. Anyways we Scorpio so intense in our emotions. Uhhhhh. Lol.

Seraph thanks for the links. They are kind of so confusing. Well my situation is confusing too🙂 just don't know yet what to do. Hopefully will hear from him nd maybe will have my answer🙂 seriously waiting for him to get to me this one time. Just so you know I never gave into him. He has not even touched me. We behaved like friends just with lots of attraction going on. Our chats were very fun, lots of flirting nd I did give him quiet a challenge as I am a very confident woman but did show to him that I like him very casually in chat. I chatted w him 2-3 times for 2 wks only nd we had this incident. So don't know what to think of it. I don't like playing too many games but I did praise him as I know he likes that but kept my respect nd distance. He told me in the chat that he cares for me nd he really appreciate that I have been with him all these years nd true friend. Now I am doubting if he even cares. Anyways will see.

anything important in life is usually a tad confusing, heh 🙂

"I have know my good guy friend(leo man) for 12yrs. I am a scorpio woman. we have been casual good friends. Recently started seeing his behavior change towards me. He is complementing me saying I am beautiful, confident , articulate etc. He would ask me if guys r crushing over me etc. he started sharing w me his very personal stuff. He has moved to some other place nd visit my area every 3-4 months for wwork. He will always call me when he is in my area. We always flirted lightly but this time it was little intense. He even messaged me saying he is already missing me from the airport..etc. He told me he is attracted to somebody but not telling me her name."

He's playing games...Tell him to knock it off, He's not testing you, he's just an immature asshole.

I don't know why you would be friends with a guy for 12 years give give give and get hardly anything in return, I'm sure there is a good back story behind it, if he hasn't tried to start up a romantic relationship with you within those 12 years after you've bent over backwards to be there for him, after all you've done and this is what you get, you might want to reconsider the friendship, he doesn't seem to appreciate you at all, throwing you crumbs of attention, tells you he's CRUSHING ON SOMEONE ELSE and sheeeesh.

You say you're not desperate but 12 years of you hoop jumping and he hasn't demonstrated how important you are to him, he barely displays affection, comes to see your area every few months I mean damn can't he just stop by and spend some quality time with you, MONTHS, wtf lol. What are you doing woman? That's desperation, desperate behavior on your part.

Tiki33 like you said that you don't know the whole story. He used to live in my area only for many years and an year bk moved due to work. He was in a bad relationship for a while so here you have the answer. I have been going through tough time too nd as we were friends we were busy in our problems. We have known each other problems and i knew his girlfriend also. After coming out the bad time in my life I changed myself completely physically nd mentally nd he noticed. He said he is very impressed as howi changed myself etc. I only asked him if he was / is attracted to somebody while he was in his miserable relationship or when he is out of it, he said yes nd when I asked who is she he was like not rt now I can tell but when time is right he will let me know. I always liked him but we both been busy in our lives. I know one thing for sure he never took advantage of me or anything but he also didn't acknowledge my efforts until this time he came. I can't explain everything. Their is nothing desperate about me. I am extremely loyal. That's it. It takes a lot to kick me out of ones life but that doesn't mean I have no backbone or not strong or smart. My lotalty towards him because he stood by me when we became friends many years back nd i never forgot that. It's extremely difficult to explain everything here in post. We have had our relationships nd we have seen each other grow in life nd career. recently only something happened nd maybe it's just temporary who knows. But thanks for your thoughts.

Would like to add one more thing tiki33 that this time I am not ready to compromise on my self respect as its his time to come forward. I am not sure he will as I know as a Leo man his pride and ego is a big thing. But now is the time if he didn't, I am gone. This one action will surely make me leave or stay. Will see to that. so to answer I do know my limits nd In past we have had our fights etc wherei have taken my stand but this time it's slightly different as different feelings are involved. But to me nothing is important then my self respect. So let's see. I posted here because I really wanted an insight into a Leo man's behavior nd was confused. It's funny when hearts get involved how we get confused. I was doing just fine before. Lol.

Scorpiowoman if this guy hasn't sealed the deal after 12 years then he's not that into you and if all you're getting after 12 years of friendship is games (cat and mouse games) then something is not quite right with this man. And I'm curious as to when the friendship turned romantic? He's a friend not a potential lover, so what gives. Do you understand you'd be losing a friend if you attempted to shift this relationship into something romantic?

Maybe you haven't really thought this through and maybe he's avoiding LOSING his friend which makes sense because good friends are really hard to find these days, if he hasn't attempted anything romantic with you then I would suggest you back up and look at your behavior, you're placing romantic feelings ON YOUR FRIEND and you're making this relationship uncomfortable and complicated.

If he's not ACTIVELY pursuing you then there is your answer and if you're the one asking him about other women in order to gauge if he has feelings then you're contributing to the confusion. You say you're not desperate but you have desperate actions/behaviors, maybe it's a low self esteem thing or a lack of confidence thing but really after 12 years you should be able to come clean, should be able to sit down with him like a real woman and clear the air, after 12 years you both deserve that.

If he's NOT LEADING you into a real relationship then hes' not interested in being romantic with you, generally it's the man that leads which gives you the ability to know were you stand which makes the ordeal less complicated and more transparent.

So there are a few things going on, you're chasing him and he's RUNNING, chasing can look several ways, one way of chasing a man is INITIATING contact, asking him questions about other women, taking a huge interest in his problems and his life, so either he wants to keep the integrity of the relationship intact by not hurting your feelings which looks like him playing games or he truly does not want to hurt your feelings and in turn hurt the relationship, another thing that could be going on is you're not being honest about your true feelings for the past 12 years and you no longer can go on being his friend and this is your way of moving on entirely which makes sense, so many things could be going on with you that's pushing you to invent a romantic relationship.

I think you should evaluate what you're doing and not fall in line with the game playing, manipulation, push and pull games with him, after 12 years you both deserve a bit of transparency and I wonder if you're really willing to risk losing him as a friend over your desire to be romantic with a man.

I'm not sure if he's misleading you or leading you on, so I can only assume he hasn't been actively pursuing you as in LEADING you both into a real relationship and that's why this has grown complicated for YOU, you're reading too much into the words he communicate to you and too much into the interaction you have with him, possibly projecting how you feel and what you want onto him which is creating a struggle between the both of you.

I suggest you take a big step back, look at things in a third person point of view and adjust your behavior and thoughts about this man, you've said nothing to indicate he's into you.

Hi Elle 😄

oh............i don't know!!! just give up thinking about the guy. be hard on yourself. TELL YOURSELF TO WISE UP!!

i had to do this after months of the most ridiculous head fuck caused by a leo and i was very fucking pissed off with myself! i am not that person who gives a shit if someone's into me or not. i am not that person who actually CRYS cos i think i want someone sooooo badly and i am most definitely NOT that person who stops living cos the past is weighing me down. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE WOMAN!! (that was what i said to me btw, not to you, you can adapt it.)

seriously though, give yourself a shake...stop thinking about the shoulda, woulda, coulda's and force yourself to move on.

when you get a grip, it's very liberating and it gives you the ability to look at situations from a different perspective and most importantly, it stops hurting 🙂

don't lose your mojo to any man...it's what attracted them after all 🙂

I agree w u R1g0rM0rT1s. After lots of thought I mailed him and told him very firmly but politely that I don't like being taken for granted. I am more evolved, mature and want to enjoy life to the fullest. Life is too short in my opinion for such B.S. I was like it takes a lot to kick me out of ones life but once I am gone..... I am gone. I told him that I respect him and will be loyal but will never compromise on my self respect. I said that next time if he wants to talk to me pls don't belittle me. It's not cool. His arrogance is not appealing to me. I told him that I will not contact him but if he feels like talking he has my no. Some more stuff written firmly but politely. I am an extremely polite person. I don't get aggravated until somebody really cross their limits.
He knows i am stubborn but time and circumstances in life have taught me that life is too short nd I am gonna enjoy nd will move on. I know I said earlier I will not contact him first but somehow I had so much to say that wanted to get it out if my chest. Actually I feel real nice and frankly haven't thought of him since then. I feel I am a better person and so much to give. I am extremely strong woman but very sensitive .... Uhh scoripo after all. Lol. It was a moment of weakness that I posted here to get some insight into a Leo man's mind. tiki33 I appreciate your thoughts but there is always a place and time in life. He and I have been only friends with our share of relationships with other people. Feelings take time to develop but that said sometimes its just a moment of weakness where our emotions get swayed. We have been busy in our lives not noticing certain things which are quiet close to us. Tiki33 I would appreciate if you don't call me desperate. I am not. I know who I am very clearly. Nothing to offend you but I can't write my whole story here. I know you mean Well but like I said i am a strong Intelligent woman who got swayed for a moment. That said I am very happy that I said my mind as I am not very open about my emotions and this one time it was very liberating. Lol. But have to say this site is awesome nd people like u all are great. Always there to help others. It's such a pleasure connecting w u all through these posts.

Tiki33 another thing I would like to mention that I am not tryingto pry into his personal life and chasing him. Actually it was the other way. He has been testing the water w me trying tO find out how I feel about him. I the midst of some deep discussion the topic of being attracted to somebody while being in an miserable relationshi it came up nd It was a very general discussion we were having and then it lead to me asking him and he also asked me the same if I have been attracted or not. So u don't know what the whole story is nd can't post every detail here. My simple question was that he started pursuing me but not sure of my feelings he is playing hot nd cold w me. Typical Leo trait. I never chased as I am quiet capable of saying my mind if I was crazy about him earlier. But did developed feelings for him when he started chasing me. It's a whole story in nutshell.

I just stopped. I had pent up emotions which I needed to get out nd did it. I don't know why judging me. I mean what I say nd did it. I have immense patience but not for B.S. he showed the B.S side nd I am out. U know I am not gonna explain my action anymore. We r humans nd have different way of perceiving life.

Hey I thought u were but if ur not my apologies. I am not judging myself. Was difficult at first as its a long association but cool now. He should be feeling the same if he is not, Doesn't matter. Being a scorp we tend to get intense about our feelings. That's it. Oh I am gonna stick to my rules this time for sure. Things r out my system nd feeling good. But thanx anyways.

uh oh....the dreaded 'getting everything off my chest email'. yuk. did that myself a few weeks ago. definitely an email too far and in retrospect i have decided that you find more strength and happiness in remaining silent. what that expression...i can regret the things i HAVE said but i can't regret the things i DIDN'T say 🙂

Uhh. Haven't started regretting yet. Lol.

My dear Scorpiowoman...

It is spelled "quite", not "quiet".

Sorry, just had to clear that up. 🙂 Leo men are awesome...just pull his tail and stroke his main a wee bit. Then he'll be purring in your panties. 😛

lol @ BGP

There is strength is silence, silence speaks louder than actual words. I don't think you understand how you come across here but yes you reek of desperation (subtle) but I can still smell it and I don't feel you're being honest with yourself so it's hard to be honest here with us.

Even that email you sent reeked with desperation, you think well I'm telling him how I feel but the reality is, he didn't ask you how you feel, he hasn't communicated with you and thus you emailing him appear to be your desperate attempt to communicate, honestly I don't think you realize how your behavior comes across.

You say you have all of these great qualities but clearly you lack confidence in yourself if you have to tell him about all your great qualities and/or you're just fooling yourself by TELLING YOURSELF YOU HAVE ALL THESE GREAT QUALITIES WHICH IS CALLED APPROVAL SEEKING, seeking his approval, if you don't need his approval, if you don't need him to communicate then you don't need to send a random email talking about how great you are, next time just SHOW him how great you are by being happy, let him SEE it for himself without you nudging him.

You appear confident and independent but then turn around and DO SOMETHING that reeks of desperation, you send an email out of nowhere to tell him what kind of woman you are as if he doesn't know you or know that about you after 12 years, I mean do you really have to say you're taking me for granted after 12 years of friendship UGH SMH, I cringed just listening to you go on and on ABOUT YOURSELF.

Something to remember, let your ACTIONS speak louder than your WORDS, the impact of your silence will send a much stronger message than words. You NEEDING to tell him how you feel reeks of NEEDINESS, next time let him figure it out on his own, he's an adult, he's capable. Hey it's your life, your relationship.

I'm not sure when this relationship shifted from friendship to relationship but clearly you were better off being friends.

+1 Elle and Rig