Why do Leo men run?

An old friend from high school (Leo) and I (Aries) reconnected 6 months ago via FB and texting. The very first exchanges were aggressive and very complimentary... I was so flattered! We'd not dated in HS or anything...I hadn't talked to him in 25 years...We really, instantly connected...I felt I could tell him anything and he was extremely open with me...It was just instant "simpatico.". I've never dated a Leo, though I know Leo and Sag are supposed to be my ideals, so I have nothing to compare this to.

2 weeks later, I was to be in his city one night and it worked out to meet at my hotel. We met, talked, a lot of catching-up talk, and he said he was spending the night. I flipped out (inside)..We made out but we didn't go very far...I was so nervous! I mean, what did I really know about him? He's career military, been married a couple of times and is in an elite group in Special Forces (so incredibly HOT)....so when he got dressed and sat at the end of the bed and told me I was "one in a million," what did that mean? He then promptly practically ran out the door! We called, texted, sexted, etc. the next couple of months or so.

He was leaving on a deployment/mission, and out of the blue, he asked me to come to his town (about 550 miles away)..like fly there..(ended up driving)...One day before he was to leave for 9 months...We had amazing....early the next morning at my hotel, but, it was the same, couldn't stay, showered and literally ran out! He left, and I didn't hear from him until middle of July...We picked up like we'd never left off...texting, messaging, Skypeing...It was great! I was so happy to see him/talk to him! Then, I didn't hear from him for nearly one whole day....until 2AM my time...and I made a comment about that and he said he would "leave me alone and hopefully talk to me when he gets back"!!!— WTH?

Feels like running to me!? I know as a SF career guy they're taught to cut off and control their emotions...I just feel this is what's happening, but he's a Leo..... Does that also come into play? And if so, what should I do? Embarrassingly, I texted, messages, emailed and even recorded a video on my phone and texted it, apologizing and asking what I did and how I could fix it!!??Probably a no-no! Help this Ram turned Lamb from Leo's sun bring the Light back! I'm a mess!

As an Aries "seeing" a Leo for the past few months, it's my experience that Leos seem to not communicate well at ALL. No matter how nice they are, what they say, or how affectionate they act, the next day they can ignore you like the plague. A few days later, you'll get a call and they'll act like nothing ever happened, it's like the next day after you saw them and everything is gravy.

I know impatience, I know when you (we) like someone, we can get a bit obsessive. Calling them every day can seem ok to most people but I guess Leos don't think it's necessary? It depends I suppose. If I "ignore" my Leo for 5 days (and by ignore I mean, not call or text, and by 5 days I mean exactly 5 days of me not calling) he WILL call or text me asking to see me, why haven't I called and other crazy stuff.

Leos keep themselves busy, we Aries do too but that person is always on our mind in everything we do. I wish it wasn't the case for me, but it is.

I feel like what I just typed makes no sense, but then again, Leos (to me) don't either lol.
Stick it out, try to be patient with him, and let him come to you a bit more, believe me, he will.

You did WHAT??

Drove 550 miles for a one night fuckle N run? Then begged for his forgiveness?

No. Tell me this is a dream...please?

It seems as though Leo men tend to run from Aries.

I think that sometimes the quickness to action may be perceived as a lack of composure. Keeping composure is devastatingly important to most Lions/Lionesses.

I'm just making an observation, though.

Something sounds fishy about this guy. You sure he's military? Have you checked his background out to ensure he's not pretending to be this elusive mysterious guy because typically the when a man is a fraud he'll pretend to be in some elite services so when you do a background check you can't find anything out but you can find out if he's really in the military if he's really in some elite unit, you may not be able to find out details but you can find out the basics, hell he may just be cook in the military or sweep floors or been discharged from the military and still wearing his uniforms, my point is don't be naive, if you haven't checked him out then don't believe anything until you definitively know the truth, knowing the truth could take away the illusion that he's one of kind/special, knowing this could change everything about the way you feel.

Sounds married or in a relationship/commitment with someone else thus he's keeping you at arms length and feeding you a spoonful of interest to keep the sex flowing. I'm not saying Leo's don't do this kind of stuff but this isn't typical Leo male behavior, least not the men in my family and people I know that are Leo's.

A background check? Geez like he's not already scared off..

LOL Yeah I guess, background checks are reasonable in this day and time at least for me it makes sense, it's smart for a woman to know what she's dealing with after 25 years of no contact with a man.

Something about her story says to me there is an illusion that somehow because he's military that makes him so hot which is the whole point (he's using that persona to get sex), no one drives 550 miles to spend ONE day with a guy unless she's under some kind of spell/illusion of some kind. c

Clearly she's not thinking things through & didn't do her homework, there is a certain level of naivete being displayed but eh I digress, he's running because he's not that into her for the exception of sex.

IMHO and it's just my opinion, one of many, I feel a woman can trust him more when she know he is who he say he is, it's just naive IMO to believe everything a person says, after 25 years with no contact, I'm not just going to believe everything he's saying and after 25 years a person isn't the same person, I don't see how doing a background check will kill trust if anything it will enhance trust, he certainly can do one on me, transparency is very important to me, if he is who he say he is then he should have no problem with her checking that out and vice versa.

If a guy rolls up on me after 25 years out of nowhere I wanna know if he's legit or just looking for a mark, an easy target to fool and clearly this guy was looking for a mark, someone who wouldn't check him out, look at how he's effected her so deeply that she's jumping through hoops (driving 550 miles for sex) only to drop her and disappear, that alone is one of many reasons not to believe what a person says until she definitively know it's true. He's playing with her life.

I wouldn't trust a stranger with my life or my wallet so why would I trust him, just because I knew him way back when doesn't mean I can trust he's the same person nor does it mean I can trust him with my life or my wallet. I don't walk around paranoid, of course not, I trust myself so there is no reason to be paranoid but I won't trust anyone until I can definitively say this person is who they say they are.

We can agree to disagree Jynja, I believe investigative sources are appropriate and you don't so of course we'll never see eye to eye on that and actually it's okay if we don't have the same perspective.

Posted by tiki33
We can agree to disagree Jynja, I believe investigative sources are appropriate and you don't so of course we'll never see eye to eye on that and actually it's okay if we don't have the same perspective.

i tend to agree with jynja. before the advent of the internet, 'background checks' weren't even possible and so i don't see why it's now become an 'essential' part of getting to know someone and i do know a lot of people do it...men and women. personally, i don't like snooping in any shape or form and that includes snooping on someone else....you find things you don't want to know.

and besides....how accurate would your background checks be? if you google my name you get a canadian politician and cos of my first name, a considerable amount of hookers, lol....but i am neither of those professions.

i have been on the receiving end of someone revealing what they discovered about me online....something that couldn't have been further from the truth and it was told to me as though it were completely factual and i had some explaining to do.

THAT'S why i personally don't believe in running background checks.

whatever happened to the old fashioned ability to talk to someone and trust your instincts about what you're being told—

I'd agree with r1g. I personally rely on my instincts and street smarts. Survival of the fittest must weed the rest out 😉

Maybe that's why this guy ran!! 😉 lolol. (kidding, Aries)

I was not talking about using Google for a background check, finding out if he has had prior restraining orders, run-in's with the law, a solid work history is essential, jobs don't trust just anyone, the banks don't hand out money to just anyone so why would one play with his or her life and trust just anyone with it.

I'm an Aquarius and I'm not driven by love/idea of love nor motivated by the loss of love and I still managed to be openly transparent and happy with a man.

I feel in the year 2012 women should be cautious be it through the means of a background check or through the means of time, using time to learn who that person is and what he's all about or both methods.

I personally know a woman that did a background check and found restraining orders for domestic violence and this guy was by all appearance was self made financially, sane and normal but looks can be deceiving and she got out. I don't feel women should pry in every detail of a persons life that's not what this about but she should be aware that there are men out there that appear real but aren't and if her means of checking him out is through her gut instincts, background checks or otherwise, as long as she's taking good care of herself and listening to her instincts than that's just as good as any background check. Some women have sharp instincts some women don't, the ones that don't have to rely on other means.

Clearly the person who posted her situation missed some vital red flags that something was off with this guy, by the time she realized something was off it was after the fact. I hope she recovers well and move on to someone whose genuinely real with her.

While I appreciate your concern for my safety and sanity, I assure you, he's legit! Yes, he's married, and I was too, at the time. I am now divorced....
I don't think he's playing me for sex, I really don't. Maybe I'm playing HIM for sex!? Who knows! There's an undeniable physical attraction b/t Aries and Leo that's well-documented, from what I've read...

His birthday is Aug 5, and he seems to be a pretty typical Leo (?) in every other area but emotionally....? I guess 25 years as a Ranger, Sniper, Delta Force, Green Beret would lend to being able to control emotions, but that's a Leo male, too, from what I understand...He has told me to "stop trying to figure us out", meaning I'm trying to define what we are, which is impossible.....

You say that you may be playing him for sex yet you keep trying to define it....


This makes no sense.

Leos suck at this. I posted a thread a couple of weeks ago about all the Leo's I know being crappy with getting back to people. And generally they are always on the go doing something. Remember, you want to keep them contacting you because they want to contact you, not because they feel they have to! Just accept that there are some situations where they are just not in contact with their phone. I also think they prefer face to face contact rather than technology.

Posted by lotuslily
Leos suck at this. I posted a thread a couple of weeks ago about all the Leo's I know being crappy with getting back to people. And generally they are always on the go doing something. Remember, you want to keep them contacting you because they want to contact you, not because they feel they have to! Just accept that there are some situations where they are just not in contact with their phone. I also think they prefer face to face contact rather than technology.

that is the best advice ever. i don't know of one single leo man who is capable of keeping in contact.....that's why if we're making arrangements, i always just think 'blah, blah, blah' in my head. one leo completely took me aback last week by actually calling on the day he said he would. i nearly dropped dead from shock!!

they're too busy disappearing up their own backsides....isn't that right SERAPH, lol.

one leo friend's wife told me that she is so used to long silences from her husband who travels a lot on business...that she actually worries when he IS in contact with her, lol. she said that it's so out of character as to be suspicious. mind you, she is a classic partner for a leo man...very confident, independent and busy but always there when he needs her.

Thank you Aries for the clarification regarding his status.

You mentioned being once married now divorced. Is he still married? As in cohabitating with his wife, please don't say the tired line he's not happy with his wife,,what's more important is that he's married and he's not actively seeking out a divorce, hasn't divorced, still married. He's not that elusive regarding his behavior if he's still married, I mean wouldn't it be obvious why he's dropping you, he's married.

Why would you drive 550 miles to see this guy? Did he reimburse you for gas? What did he do to affirm he's into you besides drop you after sex? In what way did he accommodate you for driving all those hours?

If you were using him for sex, he'd be the one driving 550 miles for you, given that he's not doing that plus he's dropping you so then yeah he's in it for the sex, it's okay if sex is what you want too thus the dropping and running wouldn't much bother you all that much I suppose.

I only had time to read the original post and will come back later to read the full thread, but 50 bucks says this guy is married or dating someone. It sounds fucking suspicious to this Lion because though I am a Leo myself and hate to admit my shiny, beautifully gorgeous nature could ever have a dark side, us Leos are NOTORIOUS for being able to date multiple people (Aries as well for that matter). And though we are whores, we guard are hearts well. When we have truly chosen you, there is absolutely no mistaking it. You will feel the passion of the Sun gleaming down on you. Leos declare their love for a lover in grand style and they get tunnel vision to everything else. Being flighty is not like us, so I think he may have more eggs in another basket....