WTH just happened—

Holy fuck. I just screwed the pooch.

That is all...

Turn of phrase, anyone? :-) seriously no has ever heard that one before?

Ever do something you thought was innocent and it creates so much drama for someone you care about that you want to crawl in a hole and die? Jesus I feel like shiiiaaht.

Posted by sultrykitty
Holy fuck. I just screwed the pooch.

That is all...

It'll be alright.

Give it time 🙂

Thanks peeps. Hopefully the weekend will let thngs simmer down a bit. Still feel like shit though.

Posted by Ssupes

Posted by sultrykitty
Thanks peeps. Hopefully the weekend will let thngs simmer down a bit. Still feel like shit though.

OK, I gotta know.......what did you do?

click to expand

It's so f'd up. No judgement please as I'm old-ish and have never been in a situation like this. In a very unfulfilled long-term rship that has been troubled for some time.

Started a new job a year ago. 9 months ago, got involved in an office flirtation with someone (10 yrs younger) who had recently broke up w his gf. It was very hot, but I decided to work on my rship at home, he got back with gf. We work closely together an are cubicle mates.

Have continued being friends but there's obviously still attraction and I have developed feelings. Have no idea if he has but I think maybe and due to his very close friendships with some girls in the office (and the resulting HR nightmares) he has said nothing can ever happen.

So the getting to know you has continued, and I need clarity at this point. I have been talking with an older woman who knows him well, one I trust, about my feelings since this whole thing started.

I decided to write him a letter basically laying out everything I've been feeling and keeping to myself for 9 months. My lady friend IM's me if I gave it to him yet. Someone else read our IM convo (one of the girls in the office). She told someone else,and now several people approach him about the letter.

I had to go out to get something, and when I got back, he was gone and had left the unopened letter on my desk with a note telling me to keep my private life away from work and that several people had come to him about it. I was mortified because I didn't talk about this to anyone for obvious reasons, and our interactions have been very low key. If no one had read those IM's, no one would have any idea.

I'm a very private person about this sort of thing and I'm absolutely sick over what happened. And I feel horrible that I had any part to play in it. I've never been involved in office gossip, especially when for me.there really isn't anything going on. Fuck.

I still have it here at home, in a safe place. I texted him yesterday as soon as I saw the letter that I didn't talk to anyone about it and how it happened, how upset I am, and apologized for putting him in that position.

I have no idea what's going to happen on Monday. I'm good at acting normal but I'm nervous about how he'll be or if anyone is going to approach me about it. Ugh!

Posted by Ssupes

Posted by sultrykitty
I still have it here at home, in a safe place. I texted him yesterday as soon as I saw the letter that I didn't talk to anyone about it and how it happened, how upset I am, and apologized for putting him in that position.

I have no idea what's going to happen on Monday. I'm good at acting normal but I'm nervous about how he'll be or if anyone is going to approach me about it. Ugh!

I would destroy that letter, unless you plan on telling your hubby about this.

click to expand

Thing is he's not hubby, technically. Never will be, but we have history and I do love him (more platonically than romantically at this point). We have separate bedrooms and don't speak much. It's complicated. He doesn't snoop, so I can keep it safe until I'm sure that he won't ask me if I still have it.

Thanks, Beautifuldiaster.

Good advice. I'm 45 next month, he's 34, these girls are mid 20's. I feel like I'm in high school and I hate it. Both he and I are in supervisory positions but not technically management. I don't think I want to confront the girl who started it (read the IM) because I'm afraid it will perpetuate the drama. She fills in for.the lady I was messaging, and I had caught her reading this woman's IM screen before so I know it was her. Thankfully there wasn't any detail.about what was in the letter, but sometimes that leads to more speculation so...

And the lady I was messaging freaked out too because she had no idea that people could or would read it and that you can't delete the conversation.

Posted by AirMan

Posted by exoskeleton
dude, she fucked her dog!

and here you thought she had sex with her dog. 😄

click to expand

LOL would be the least of my worries if that were the case (and no, it would NEVER be the case).

Posted by Ssupes

I would destroy that letter, unless you plan on telling your hubby about this.

Thing is he's not hubby, technically. Never will be, but we have history and I do love him (more platonically than romantically at this point). We have separate bedrooms and don't speak much. It's complicated. He doesn't snoop, so I can keep it safe until I'm sure that he won't ask me if I still have it.

Kinda splitting hairs but thats your thing. I would listen to BD as far as the office politics go.

True. My SO knows what happened in the beginning, I was ready to split up at that point. But not that anything has been going on since then, as it really hasn't. It's really just feelings at this point, which can't be helped.

Posted by sultrykitty
I decided to write him a letter basically laying out everything I've been feeling and keeping to myself for 9 months.

... and when I got back, he was gone and had left the unopened letter on my desk with a note telling me to keep my private life away from work and that several people had come to him about it.

Fuck.

How supremely disrespectful of him.

(It's too late to advise that you should never, ever... you know the rest.)

What position did you put him in, exactly?

If the letter is unopened, and you gave no indication of the nature of the letter in the IM, then

for all he knows, the letter could have been ... anything.

No, not the best thing to do at work, but I think you should not apologize again... nor ever.

Posted by sultrykitty
I still have it here at home, in a safe place. I texted him yesterday as soon as I saw the letter that I didn't talk to anyone about it and how it happened, how upset I am, and apologized for putting him in that position.

I have no idea what's going to happen on Monday. I'm good at acting normal but I'm nervous about how he'll be or if anyone is going to approach me about it. Ugh!

click to expand

NOTHING is going to happen Monday, if you don't want it to-- you are not at his mercy.

And you don't have to cop to a thing (unless there is something you haven't told us?).

If you had the courage to write that letter, this is nothing... fck him

That last part is figurative 😄

Is your moon in Cap or something... or do you have a 12th house sun?

Sooo heavy.... saying you're 'oldish.'

Thanks Montgomery. Funny, my cap moon is in the 12th. I only referred to my age, because this situation to me smacks of teenage-ery. I'm usually not this way and haven't ever been in this position before.

I.don't like being involved in gossip, and like even less to be the center of it. Especially in a work situation where I'm supposed to be in a position of authority. Many lessons learned from this one, and maybe some more to come.

I can't tell what his reaction was, if it was anger or embarrassment, or just a heads up. He's an intensley private person and I'm sure he thought that I was talking to coworkers about my feelings, which wasn't the case. Whatever is going to happen, I guess I'll find out in time.

Soo...?

It's Tuesday... what happened?

Monty, as you said, nothing happened. I have a job that takes me out of the officeat times, so Monday morning I was gone. When I got in I was so nervous, I couldn't talk to anyone. I just sat down and started working.

He and I exchanged a few formal pleasantries (good morning, so and so was looking for you, etc). Today I was out of the office most of the day, but for the hour we were both there, there was no interaction.

I spoke to my lady friend, and no one has said anything to her, and most everyone else (except for a few of the girls mentioned before) has been acting like normal. I have noticed that he's not talking much or acknowledging the busy-body girl, but I haven't been around much.

One thing interesting is that the girl who snooped told my lady friend that I looked gorgeous yesterday and was glowing (the lady was off yesterday). That wasn't the case at all (I looked normal and was not my normal peppy self), so I think she was fishing for info.

It may be over, it may not. The guy is a Scorpio sun/Virgo moon, we both have Libra Venus. We both also have the same dominant planets in the same order (Libra, Virgo, Scorpio) so I think we may have the same reactions to things. If that's the case, I think it will be awkward for a while and then go back to normal.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
Why in the hell did he leave the letter on your desk?....what a dumbass...any devious gossipy coworker could've picked that up and outed you both completely.

Yeah, I know. Jesus, he could have at least taken the letter and left the note.

Oh he is?

Curiosity is going to drive him crazy.

If time permitted, he steamed that letter open and

sealed it back through sheer force of Will before

putting it back on your desk.

If not-- he's waiting for you to break.

So don't. 😐

Posted by Montgomery
Oh he is?

Curiosity is going to drive him crazy.

If time permitted, he steamed that letter open and

sealed it back through sheer force of Will before

putting it back on your desk.

If not-- he's waiting for you to break.

So don't. 😐

I kind of thought so too (about the curiosity/reading/resealing), but who knows? That's why I'm keeping the letter. I didn't proposition him or make any silly declarations or advances, I just told him how I feel because I want him to know.

What would "breaking" look like? I don't plan on doing ANYTHING. I never did. Just needed to release all that psychic buildup and get it off my chest.

Posted by sultrykitty would "breaking" look like? I don't plan on doing ANYTHING. I never did. Just needed to release all that psychic buildup and get it off my chest.

I hear you.

I would just never mention it.

That was his request or mandate, anyway... and

And maybe go ahead and burn that letter-- for closure,

for your own benefit... there's your relief.

Symbolic, but it works most of the time. 🙂

Thanks Monty. :-)

Posted by sultrykitty
Monty, as you said, nothing happened. I have a job that takes me out of the officeat times, so Monday morning I was gone. When I got in I was so nervous, I couldn't talk to anyone. I just sat down and started working.

He and I exchanged a few formal pleasantries (good morning, so and so was looking for you, etc). Today I was out of the office most of the day, but for the hour we were both there, there was no interaction.

I spoke to my lady friend, and no one has said anything to her, and most everyone else (except for a few of the girls mentioned before) has been acting like normal. I have noticed that he's not talking much or acknowledging the busy-body girl, but I haven't been around much.

One thing interesting is that the girl who snooped told my lady friend that I looked gorgeous yesterday and was glowing (the lady was off yesterday). That wasn't the case at all (I looked normal and was not my normal peppy self), so I think she was fishing for info.

It may be over, it may not. The guy is a Scorpio sun/Virgo moon, we both have Libra Venus. We both also have the same dominant planets in the same order (Libra, Virgo, Scorpio) so I think we may have the same reactions to things. If that's the case, I think it will be awkward for a while and then go back to normal.

No, you don't have the same reactions to things, or else you would be mortified beyond everything, of pwriting how you feel on paper to a Scorpio with Virgo moon. I mean, Leo moons will be mortified too, but they will pick a fight the size of the everest with you and let you know how they feel.

Virgo moon Scorp probably hid in his room and cried.

Posted by sultrykitty
The guy is a Scorpio sun/Virgo moon, we both have Libra Venus. We both also have the same dominant planets in the same order (Libra, Virgo, Scorpio) so I think we may have the same reactions to things. If that's the case, I think it will be awkward for a while and then go back to normal.

No, you don't have the same reactions to things, otherwise you would have been mortified beyond belief of writing how you feel on paper.

Even without the drama, it would have been very uncomfortable for the Scorpio to find and read the letter.

A Leo moon would probably pick a fight the size of the Everest with you about how the letter made him feel, but the poor Virgo moon probably hid in his room and cried.

Why didn't you come to us first? A love letter is a big deal. Why didn't you ask us first?

I wrote a long message that didn't post.

but here is my suggestion.

- Find a nice private and quiet place to apologize. it need not be an explanation, just a simple I am sorry.
- Leave it at that

It is likely when the Scorp goes for the poison kill, you will be spared.
And the apology will likely draw you two closer.

My .02

I wrote a long message that didn't post.

but here is my suggestion.

- Find a nice private and quiet place to apologize. it need not be an explanation, just a simple I am sorry.
- Leave it at that

It is likely when the Scorp goes for the poison kill, you will be spared.
And the apology will likely draw you two closer.

My .02

Posted by 037

No, you don't have the same reactions to things, or else you would be mortified beyond everything, of pwriting how you feel on paper to a Scorpio with Virgo moon. I mean, Leo moons will be mortified too, but they will pick a fight the size of the everest with you and let you know how they feel.

Virgo moon Scorp probably hid in his room and cried.

click to expand

I WAS mortified beyond belief! I actually got physically ill after finding out. 😉

I've already apologized via text, so no more. I'm not a fiery Leo.

Oh, and I do find that we react to a lot of things in a similar way. Not because of sun/moon (although we both have earth moons) but because of our dominant planet placements.

Actually, our composite chart is gorgeous. But it means nothing if the only relationship we have is as coworkers. Supposedly, he is as attracted to me as I am to him. And that it's a very deep, serious connection.

Oh well...

I agree with 037's advice, I think you should just apologize and leave it be even if he stays angry he will respect you more. But girllll what are we gonna do with this living situation? You have a roommate