lotuslily
@lotuslily
14 Years1,000+ PostsAries
Comments: 4 · Posts: 1107 · Topics: 77
Aries female/Libra male
When I'm on holiday the last thing I want is to think about work, and I hate when people ask me when I go back to work... just let me enjoy my holiday in peace.... I don't want to have to think about the end of my holiday... I'm free now, let me be free....
There's no majoy emotional trauma here, I'm just curious about the way this guy's mind works.. he's such a mystery to me. He is the hardest person in the world to read or try figure out.
There's no majoy emotional trauma here, I'm just curious about the way this guy's mind works.. he's such a mystery to me. He is the hardest person in the world to read or try figure out.
Yeah... I'm cool with all that... And it's not like I'm trying to start deep and meaningful conversations with him either... and trust me, I have found other penises to fill my... time with when he's not around.
I'm mostly trying to figure his brain out and how it works, so I'm asking how Libra's brain works in this instance because I really think it's odd that he didn't even tell his friends he was leaving.
And why can't he just be straight and tell me a) he's leaving, b) when (weeks, months, years) he thinks he'll be back. I don't see the point in him keeping in contact with me if he's going to be gone indefinitely. Why say you'll be back soon and then change your city of residence to a foreign country?
I'm mostly trying to figure his brain out and how it works, so I'm asking how Libra's brain works in this instance because I really think it's odd that he didn't even tell his friends he was leaving.
And why can't he just be straight and tell me a) he's leaving, b) when (weeks, months, years) he thinks he'll be back. I don't see the point in him keeping in contact with me if he's going to be gone indefinitely. Why say you'll be back soon and then change your city of residence to a foreign country?
Posted by Chozen
I didn't read that long ass shhit but libra's come off as trash boxes 2 me. they always have a crush on a bunch of nigggas at the
same time. I'm not the nigga 2 play that with. I'm only talkin bout 2 libras 4rm the past. i dropped both of em like a bad habit.
LOL... thank you... so helpful!
Where is Rocky?!! LOL. This is why I'm so anti-FWB and women setting themselves up in a fuck buddy arrangement. Lotus, you are a case in point for what happens. Read your OP! It reeks of delusions!
You are EXPECTING more when you shouldn't be in the arrangement you signed up for. This isn't even about what kind of human being he is. That's irrelevant. The mere fact that you are curious or wondering about how he works or why he didn't inform you shows that you are emotionally invested in this. Don't get yourself in FWB or a fuck buddy when you aren't fit for it.
You are EXPECTING more when you shouldn't be in the arrangement you signed up for. This isn't even about what kind of human being he is. That's irrelevant. The mere fact that you are curious or wondering about how he works or why he didn't inform you shows that you are emotionally invested in this. Don't get yourself in FWB or a fuck buddy when you aren't fit for it.
Posted by notyourtypePosted by lotuslily
I've written about this specific Libra before... my Libra fuck buddy (of a year and a half)
Therein lies your answer. You guys are just f-buddies, not even FWB, which means he sees you as a good lay and nothing more. He doesn't even see you as a friend, although if he's treating his friends with the same lack of consideration, what reason would he have to treat you any better?
Posted by lotuslily
Realistically, he is not my bf and doesn't have to tell me anything. IT would have just been common courtesy after banging me for over a year and a half to let me know I'd have to find a new lover.
Again, you guys are not "lovers". He's probably under the impression that you are sleeping with other men, as he's likely sleeping with other women, and thus, feels like his relocation will bear little to no significance to you, so there's no need to inform you of anything. If the situation were reversed and you were the one who relocated without prior notice, I doubt he will take it personally.
Posted by lotuslily
Instead he had still been speaking to me like he was still at home and wanting to do me like he could come over the next week. It was so weird!
He was just entertaining you out of sheer boredom.
Posted by lotuslily
Last week he told me he misses me too! I asked him if he just misses my vagina and he said no, he misses me too because we have the best sex and I'm the only one he can play dirty with. HE asked if I just miss his penis and I told him I def miss his penis but that I also really enjoy our time together and that I have a lot of fun with him, so I miss him too.click to expand
So, basically, he only misses you for the sex, but it seems like you are somewhat emotionally invested.
This guy obviously doesn't care about you at all. If it makes you feel any better, he's likely oblivious to the fact that his actions (or lack, thereof) is upsetting you. Don't reach out to him or waste anymore time and energy trying to figure him out. Aren't Aries known for their ability to move on quickly? You'll find someone else
Word! Great analysis of the OP! Love it!
I heard they have great Prostitutes in Thailand. Be careful. Great place for Asian poonany. But girl you need your daily dose of Vitamin D from a Different fella cause he could careless about ya.
Posted by aquarius09
Where is Rocky?!! LOL. This is why I'm so anti-FWB and women setting themselves up in a fuck buddy arrangement. Lotus, you are a case in point for what happens. Read your OP! It reeks of delusions!
You are EXPECTING more when you shouldn't be in the arrangement you signed up for. This isn't even about what kind of human being he is. That's irrelevant. The mere fact that you are curious or wondering about how he works or why he didn't inform you shows that you are emotionally invested in this. Don't get yourself in FWB or a fuck buddy when you aren't fit for it.
I admit to being attached to the great sex we have. I have admitted this to him, but I know I'm not emotionally invested in him.
I've trained him REALLY well in bed and I feel sad that now I need to start all over again a) finding someone else I have awesome sexual chemistry with and b)getting to the point where they know what they're doing in bed.
I have no interest in an emotional relationship with anyone. But I also don't want to sleep around, which is why fuck buddies/lovers/fwb is a convenient set up for me.
I am not capable of having an emotional relationship with the same person i am having a sexual 'relation' with.
Unless it's a Leo! haha.... those guys are my achilles heel!
I also don't go out much anymore -- I am happy to come home and chill in my sanctuary -- and so don't meet many new guys that I feel sexually attracted to. I go out maybe once or twice a month and then I'm enjoying having fun with my friends so much that I don't want to be distracted by anyone. I just want to have fun with my friends.
I saw a hot guy yesterday walking to the store and younger me would have known what to do... but older me has forgotten how to do these things... I don't want to go 'hunting' anymore. About 2 months ago I was super horny and thought "Let me go to a bar, that's what other people seem to do when they want to get laid."
So I went to this bar after work, walked in, stood at the bar looking at all the guys there and thought to myself "I don't want anyone of these guys touching my body or my energy" and turned around , walked out and came home.
What to do in that case?
I go to meditation twice a week and the guy who hosts it is hot and I'm definitely sexually attracted to him, but I don't know what his attitude is toward sex or how to find out. He's a Capricorn... Aren't they more traditional and don't have casual sex? I also don't know how to approach it with a Cap.... Fire and air signs are easy for me.
I once 'pursued' (remember, I'm an Aries and love the thrill of the hunt, even tho I'm a female!) a Cap and I felt like it was not a natural thing... It was hard! I didn't like chasing this 'difficult' sign. Shit....
I saw a hot guy yesterday walking to the store and younger me would have known what to do... but older me has forgotten how to do these things... I don't want to go 'hunting' anymore. About 2 months ago I was super horny and thought "Let me go to a bar, that's what other people seem to do when they want to get laid."
So I went to this bar after work, walked in, stood at the bar looking at all the guys there and thought to myself "I don't want anyone of these guys touching my body or my energy" and turned around , walked out and came home.
What to do in that case?
I go to meditation twice a week and the guy who hosts it is hot and I'm definitely sexually attracted to him, but I don't know what his attitude is toward sex or how to find out. He's a Capricorn... Aren't they more traditional and don't have casual sex? I also don't know how to approach it with a Cap.... Fire and air signs are easy for me.
I once 'pursued' (remember, I'm an Aries and love the thrill of the hunt, even tho I'm a female!) a Cap and I felt like it was not a natural thing... It was hard! I didn't like chasing this 'difficult' sign. Shit....
Lol... quality sex is everything when the only reason you're in an arrangement with someone is for the sex.
Eh, this whole thing has been a clusterfuck for awhile.
Neither should be in this arrangement. It's been fucked up emotionally on both sides for awhile.
I do believe her about the sex bit. I've been working to drop my fwb for my well being, but giving up the sex bit is what's dragged it out so long, haha.
Honestly, OP, I don't know why you wonder about all this shit. You knew awhile back this guy was emotionally retarded. Let him do his bullshit. Tells you where you really stand with him.
Sucks about losing the good sex bit. But you already admitted you were fucking around with a Gem there for awhile. You clearly can get it from other dudes. Quit pining over this one. You say you aren't emotionally involved, but with all the posts reading into his stupid behavior, it gives an entirely different impression.
Neither should be in this arrangement. It's been fucked up emotionally on both sides for awhile.
I do believe her about the sex bit. I've been working to drop my fwb for my well being, but giving up the sex bit is what's dragged it out so long, haha.
Honestly, OP, I don't know why you wonder about all this shit. You knew awhile back this guy was emotionally retarded. Let him do his bullshit. Tells you where you really stand with him.
Sucks about losing the good sex bit. But you already admitted you were fucking around with a Gem there for awhile. You clearly can get it from other dudes. Quit pining over this one. You say you aren't emotionally involved, but with all the posts reading into his stupid behavior, it gives an entirely different impression.
Also, I'm a bit disturbed how your reliance on FWB has made YOU emotionally stunted in the dating game. Have you considered how detrimental this is becoming to you? It's retarding your fricken approach to men.
It's time to grow up, chica. You are not 21 years old anymore.
...And I don't care how much you like sex. You clearly need to drop this shit because you get far too emotionally involved and then this new tidbit about not being sure how to approach men. Wow. That's just bad.
It's time to grow up, chica. You are not 21 years old anymore.
...And I don't care how much you like sex. You clearly need to drop this shit because you get far too emotionally involved and then this new tidbit about not being sure how to approach men. Wow. That's just bad.
Haha! Things with the Gem are over! But I did end up with a Leo like 3 weeks ago... and when I went out for new years, I ended up snogging a lovely gentle Pisces fella I would like to play tantra with. You are right... I am fine!
But there is always that one we can't have that we 'pine' for when it rains!
Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself because I don't know where my next dose of 'Vitamin D' will be coming from...
But there is always that one we can't have that we 'pine' for when it rains!
Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself because I don't know where my next dose of 'Vitamin D' will be coming from...
Posted by notyourtypePosted by aquarius09
You are EXPECTING more when you shouldn't be in the arrangement you signed up for. This isn't even about what kind of human being he is. That's irrelevant. The mere fact that you are curious or wondering about how he works or why he didn't inform you shows that you are emotionally invested in this. Don't get yourself in FWB or a fuck buddy when you aren't fit for it.
Agree that she does not have the right mentality to engage in these types of scenarios.
First, she says he doesn't owe her anything. Then she says he should have given her some courtesy notice. Totally contradicting. F-buddies should not expect anything OTHER THAN SEX (and even that's not a guarantee sometimes) from the other person, including common courtesy. Sure, it would have been nice if he informed you, but that's not a part of the whole f-buddy deal, so he's not exactly being rude by not informing you either.
The whole premise behind having an f-buddy is that it's completely hassle free. That means neither of you needs to worry about the other person's feelings, should either of you decide to ditch the other out of the blue. Why some people who choose to enter such arrangement feel they deserve to be notified and have their feelings taken into account is beyond my comprehension.
click to expand
+1. We are a team on this one.
Posted by lotuslilyPosted by aquarius09
Where is Rocky?!! LOL. This is why I'm so anti-FWB and women setting themselves up in a fuck buddy arrangement. Lotus, you are a case in point for what happens. Read your OP! It reeks of delusions!
You are EXPECTING more when you shouldn't be in the arrangement you signed up for. This isn't even about what kind of human being he is. That's irrelevant. The mere fact that you are curious or wondering about how he works or why he didn't inform you shows that you are emotionally invested in this. Don't get yourself in FWB or a fuck buddy when you aren't fit for it.
I admit to being attached to the great sex we have. I have admitted this to him, but I know I'm not emotionally invested in him.
I've trained him REALLY well in bed and I feel sad that now I need to start all over again a) finding someone else I have awesome sexual chemistry with and b)getting to the point where they know what they're doing in bed.
click to expand
You have the fuck buddy concept all wrong. It's not contractual where you can sign up a guy for a certain period of time and both parties to the contract abide by its stipulations. Lol. This whole thing you say about training him and having something great with him and now it's a hassle to replace him is all an ATTACHMENT that you have built. You can call it whatever you want or tell yourself that you aren't capable of forming emotional ties, but fact of the matter is that you can't stray from your nature and things that you have no control over, that being your feelings. You say you are not emotionally invested in him and it's all about sex, but you weren't exclusive to him sexually and you have plenty of variety available. I doubt that from all the men you try out, he's the only one you find amazing in bed, enough that you are wondering about his logic/reasons and feel that he's obligated to you! What is he? A diamond in the rough? Lol. All I'm saying is that if he was just a fuck buddy who gives you good sex, then you wouldn't worry about his whereabouts, manners and even create this post asking for input. You'd replace him just as easily as it was to get him in bed.
Moving forward, enter into a contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo so that you don't face the hassle of replacing him because guys in FwBs or who are f buddies don't owe you a thing, and trust me, they know what and what is not their obligation/good manners.
Posted by aquarius09
Moving forward, enter into a contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo so that you don't face the hassle of replacing him because guys in FwBs or who are f buddies don't owe you a thing, and trust me, they know what and what is not their obligation/good manners.
What the fuck kind of advice is that? Contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo!? For one, it's fucking illegal. Two, if I posted on here saying I got a gigolo, what the fuck would you have said then about the kinds of people who make use of those services? Why would you give someone such shit advice? Seriously!
I am a human being with sexual needs who happens to be fond of the person I am allowing inside me. There's nothing wrong with that.
Go and stand in the corner and think about what you just said!
Posted by lotuslilyPosted by aquarius09
Moving forward, enter into a contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo so that you don't face the hassle of replacing him because guys in FwBs or who are f buddies don't owe you a thing, and trust me, they know what and what is not their obligation/good manners.
What the fuck kind of advice is that? Contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo!? For one, it's fucking illegal. Two, if I posted on here saying I got a gigolo, what the fuck would you have said then about the kinds of people who make use of those services? Why would you give someone such shit advice? Seriously!
I am a human being with sexual needs who happens to be fond of the person I am allowing inside me. There's nothing wrong with that.
Go and stand in the corner and think about what you just said!click to expand
Hahahaha the angry Aries is coming out hahaha lol
Posted by lotuslilyPosted by aquarius09
Moving forward, enter into a contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo so that you don't face the hassle of replacing him because guys in FwBs or who are f buddies don't owe you a thing, and trust me, they know what and what is not their obligation/good manners.
What the fuck kind of advice is that? Contractual sex arrangement with a gigolo!? For one, it's fucking illegal. Two, if I posted on here saying I got a gigolo, what the fuck would you have said then about the kinds of people who make use of those services? Why would you give someone such shit advice? Seriously!
I am a human being with sexual needs who happens to be fond of the person I am allowing inside me. There's nothing wrong with that!
Go and stand in the corner and think about what you just said!click to expand
It's funny you mentioned that I need to go in the corner, but it's actually you who needs a timeout herself to think about what she got herself in and how she's unable to handle it. Best of all, you can't even acknowledge that you are emotionally invested in him. First step is to accept your issues, but you won't do that because you're an Arian and you don't have time to pull your head out of your ass to think.
Secondly, how is contractual sex agreement illegal? If it were illegal, people wouldn't be openly seeking it under kijiji's personal ads section or even dating website. In fact, there is a whole INTERNATIONAL best seller erotic novel that mentioned this concept: 50 shades of gray. Also, my own AQUA friends who seek FWBs do this. Even my own brother has things like this going. If you were truly incapable of emotional investment with a person, you'd think of such an idea. Where do you live? BtW, I'm in the legal profession where I live and we don't have an issue with this. In fact, homosexuality is being legalized here on the basis that the government has no business what we do in our bedrooms or private lives.
You are fond of the man you sleep with? Miss his dick?
LMAO! Get over yourself! You're so delusional! This is more than about his dick. Lol. You can get good dick from another guy especially since you aren't sitting there practicing abstinence in his loss. Psh.
LMAO! Get over yourself! You're so delusional! This is more than about his dick. Lol. You can get good dick from another guy especially since you aren't sitting there practicing abstinence in his loss. Psh.
Oh and lemme elaborate on the contractual sex arrangement and how it works:
1) Make sure the guy you have sex with isn't an unethical or immoral idiot because such a man will not abide by anything. Expectations are a natural outcome of any human interaction. So you want your expectations of getting nookie or not losing the nookie met.
2) Discuss day, time, location that is convenient for both parties to hook up, and the courtesy owed to the other party in case you want out or can't make it on some days. I know it's sad that common courtesy has to be discussed and agreed upon, but sadly given the nature of agreement and how this arrangement is perceived by the two genders involved, it is important to discuss it.
3) Discuss the outcome if one party wants more than sex.
Now, if you thought of these three things prior to opening yourself, this arrangement wouldn't be causing you so much inconvenience.
1) Make sure the guy you have sex with isn't an unethical or immoral idiot because such a man will not abide by anything. Expectations are a natural outcome of any human interaction. So you want your expectations of getting nookie or not losing the nookie met.
2) Discuss day, time, location that is convenient for both parties to hook up, and the courtesy owed to the other party in case you want out or can't make it on some days. I know it's sad that common courtesy has to be discussed and agreed upon, but sadly given the nature of agreement and how this arrangement is perceived by the two genders involved, it is important to discuss it.
3) Discuss the outcome if one party wants more than sex.
Now, if you thought of these three things prior to opening yourself, this arrangement wouldn't be causing you so much inconvenience.
You said contractual agreement with a gigolo. Gigolo = male prostitute. Where I live, that's what it means anyway! Which is in Africa.
I'm not interested in contractual agreement with anyone -- male prostitute or not. It sounds too much like business.
I am not cut from the same mold as many other people, and you're all just making assumptions that I can't keep my shit together. I work in the sex industry and have been around the block enough to know how to protect my heart emotionally with lovers.
I asked questions about how this Libra's mind works, not what you thought was going on with me.
No, I don't find too many men who are amazing in bed, and who are compatible with my sexual personality. In the past 10 years I have only found 2. So yeah... I tend to want to keep them around for as long as possible when I do.
In the entire one and a half years of us hooking up, we've not had one conversation about anything other than sex. There is attachment, but not emotional investment.
I'm not interested in contractual agreement with anyone -- male prostitute or not. It sounds too much like business.
I am not cut from the same mold as many other people, and you're all just making assumptions that I can't keep my shit together. I work in the sex industry and have been around the block enough to know how to protect my heart emotionally with lovers.
I asked questions about how this Libra's mind works, not what you thought was going on with me.
No, I don't find too many men who are amazing in bed, and who are compatible with my sexual personality. In the past 10 years I have only found 2. So yeah... I tend to want to keep them around for as long as possible when I do.
In the entire one and a half years of us hooking up, we've not had one conversation about anything other than sex. There is attachment, but not emotional investment.
Posted by backtokemet
IT IS AGAINST THE LAW OF GOD TO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE. CHANGE YOUR WAYS OR BE READY TO FEEL THE ALL MIGHTY'S WRATH !!!
LOL!
Posted by aquarius09Posted by backtokemet
IT IS AGAINST THE LAW OF GOD TO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE. CHANGE YOUR WAYS OR BE READY TO FEEL THE ALL MIGHTY'S WRATH !!!
LOL!click to expand
Ooooh... is he gonna spank me for being a naughty girl??
Posted by lotuslily
You said contractual agreement with a gigolo. Gigolo = male prostitute. Where I live, that's what it means anyway! Which is in Africa.
I'm not interested in contractual agreement with anyone -- male prostitute or not. It sounds too much like business.
I am not cut from the same mold as many other people, and you're all just making assumptions that I can't keep my shit together. I work in the sex industry and have been around the block enough to know how to protect my heart emotionally with lovers.
I asked questions about how this Libra's mind works, not what you thought was going on with me.
No, I don't find too many men who are amazing in bed, and who are compatible with my sexual personality. In the past 10 years I have only found 2. So yeah... I tend to want to keep them around for as long as possible when I do.
In the entire one and a half years of us hooking up, we've not had one conversation about anything other than sex. There is attachment, but not emotional investment.
Where do you live in Africa?
South Africa
Posted by lotuslily
South Africa
Say you're lying! Where abouts? I'm in Pretoria, originally from East london.
So is your imagination mate! I'm not afraid and I won't feel judged by you or anyone else. You can find someone else to play the guilt and shame religion game with.
@WaterCup: I'm in Johannesburg 🙂
@WaterCup: I'm in Johannesburg 🙂
Posted by lotuslily
So is your imagination mate! I'm not afraid and I won't feel judged by you or anyone else. You can find someone else to play the guilt and shame religion game with.
@WaterCup: I'm in Johannesburg 🙂
Lekker 😉
Posted by backtokemetPosted by lotuslily
So is your imagination mate! I'm not afraid and I won't feel judged by you or anyone else. You can find someone else to play the guilt and shame religion game with.
@WaterCup: I'm in Johannesburg 🙂
RELIGION IS NOT A GAME IT'S OUR PATH TO HEAVEN ! THE LORD CREATED MONOGAMY SO EACH OF HIS BELOVED CHILDREN HAS A CHANCE OF GETTING LAID .. PROBLEMS ARISE WHEN SOME CHILDREN GET GREEDY AND HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS MEANT FOR SOMEONE ELSE ! NO SEXUAL GREED = NO UNNECESSARY CONFLICTS !click to expand
That's your truth and your religion. Don't try and force feed me yours. I don't try force feed you mine. You can go blue in the face trying to 'save me' or judge me... or what ever it is you're attempting to do, but it's only going to go in one ear and straight out the other. I will continue on my own path and journey living according to what I think is right and best for me, not someone else. Save your advice for yourself one day when you think you need it. Stop lecturing me.
You Lord didn't create monogamy either. The churches created monogamy. And if you think it was created for people to get laid, you're dumber than you sound!
Problems arise when people start trying to force a set of principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true. No pushed dogma = no unnecessary conflicts!
You mean force feed Christianity... Have fun doing that. We all need something that makes us feel important.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Also, I'm a bit disturbed how your reliance on FWB has made YOU emotionally stunted in the dating game. Have you considered how detrimental this is becoming to you? It's retarding your fricken approach to men.
It's time to grow up, chica. You are not 21 years old anymore.
...And I don't care how much you like sex. You clearly need to drop this shit because you get far too emotionally involved and then this new tidbit about not being sure how to approach men. Wow. That's just bad.
+100
Posted by Chozen
I didn't read that long ass shhit but libra's come off as trash boxes 2 me. they always have a crush on a bunch of nigggas at the
same time. I'm not the nigga 2 play that with. I'm only talkin bout 2 libras 4rm the past. i dropped both of em like a bad habit.
Haha. Funny you should mention that we have different crushes at the same time.lol. I always have a new crush, but that's because I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not committed so I'm free to crush as much as I want. Now if I'm in a relationship with someone, the others fall off, or I??ll push them off. It's a part of dating. Mingle until one makes you want to stop mingling.
I personally don't understand people that casually date, and expect to be the only one without consulting the other person if they want that too. If you want to be the only one, why not just ask the person if the two of you are exclusive that way you wont be hurt. The minute I start liking a person a lot and spending time and find myself putting effort into them, I gotta know right then if I'm the only one, before my feelings get involved. Now if they??re dishonest or lie after I asked then they are selfish people that must love Karma.
Anyway to the OP, I never understand your relationship with this guy.lol. If it's just fwb then why bother putting so much thought into whether he's coming back or not. You asked, he said he was. If he lied, so what!lol. He's not your man or even your boo, just go get another playmate. If he comes back and you still wanna go there with him, then there you go, otherwise I don't see what the problem is.
So... he is still floating around on the other side of the world right now... We been in constant contact in the interim. He's told me he hasn't had any action since us, asked me if I have (the answer was yes), he's told me he dreams about me, that he misses me, when he's been drinking he calls me babe and baby... He is due back in a few weeks...And..........
On Friday night he was drunk and told me he loves me...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
——————————?
Do you think it's a case of the truth coming out when people are drunk, or do you think I should take it with a pinch of salt?
I am expecting the usual lectures and sarcastic remarks that usually come with my questions regarding this leeb... however, it would be nice if the answers did not follow this pre existing tone i have become accustomed to.
I would rather ask that if you are inclined to be snarky, sarcastic or give a lecture... then please rather don't answer. Go throw down hammers on other people.
On Friday night he was drunk and told me he loves me...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
——————————?
Do you think it's a case of the truth coming out when people are drunk, or do you think I should take it with a pinch of salt?
I am expecting the usual lectures and sarcastic remarks that usually come with my questions regarding this leeb... however, it would be nice if the answers did not follow this pre existing tone i have become accustomed to.
I would rather ask that if you are inclined to be snarky, sarcastic or give a lecture... then please rather don't answer. Go throw down hammers on other people.
I'd take it with a pinch of salt. Don't get me wrong: I would want to believe it. I just don't think you should. He sounds pretty flaky.
Take it with a pinch of salt. Your wishful thinking is becoming pretty obvious at this point.
Pinch of salt it is! He's been completely silent since I responded the next morning by telling him that I would prefer the dynamic to stay as is, since changing the way we roll together is not condusive to peace or harmony, which is what I want... If we changed anything, it would all go to shit. It makes no sense to even look at changing anything, when we both have ambitions of floating around the world in different countries... It would only cause resentment and arguments. Better just to enjoy each other when we see each other and let each other fly off again when the time comes.
Love or not!
Love or not!
It already went to shit, who are you fooling?
I get where you're coming from because I'm the same way about situations. I need to fully understand why someone behaves as they do. If new behavior happens, like what just happened to you here, I will now wonder more, because my previous conclusions are now going to be questioned and re-evaluated.
You seriously need to figure out what to do- ideally, it sounds like you need to just be done with this guy. I really don't think it's so much you worrying about "his dick" but other emotions you refuse to admit to that are going on here.
I had some bs issues with a fwb as well, and as much as I like sex, it just wasn't worth all the hassle. I seriously think you just keep using "but, the sex!" as a guise in order to keep dwelling on this guy. I'm an Aries too, I like sex a lot, and I admit that it's why I mainly stuck around with the fwb for awhile, but it gets old. All the flaky, weirdo bs that you aren't cool with just gets old.
And because I'm an Aries, I hit my "fuck it" point and move on. Cue the Aries ice. We may forgive and forget, which is why we get stuck in situations like this, but you, my dear, need to reach that "fuck it" point and move on. You have been sucked into the horrific nightmare that the Libra/Aries dynamic can be and you need to get yourself out.
Most Libra guys are a fucking mess. At least the ones who show behavior like this one (and all the others that women bitch about) has are a mess. A mess NOT worth sticking around for.
Also, I think your Leo moon just needs to get the fuck over it and realize that someone may just be using you for your lady bits and not really be into you more than that. You seem to be more upset that you aren't ending this on YOUR terms, which is also very Leo-esque, so you cling on, trying to win advantage in this situation. It also kinda explains why you allow yourself to be strung along with his bullshit tactics.
Get that shit in check, yo. It's more damaging to you than helpful, tbh.
I get where you're coming from because I'm the same way about situations. I need to fully understand why someone behaves as they do. If new behavior happens, like what just happened to you here, I will now wonder more, because my previous conclusions are now going to be questioned and re-evaluated.
You seriously need to figure out what to do- ideally, it sounds like you need to just be done with this guy. I really don't think it's so much you worrying about "his dick" but other emotions you refuse to admit to that are going on here.
I had some bs issues with a fwb as well, and as much as I like sex, it just wasn't worth all the hassle. I seriously think you just keep using "but, the sex!" as a guise in order to keep dwelling on this guy. I'm an Aries too, I like sex a lot, and I admit that it's why I mainly stuck around with the fwb for awhile, but it gets old. All the flaky, weirdo bs that you aren't cool with just gets old.
And because I'm an Aries, I hit my "fuck it" point and move on. Cue the Aries ice. We may forgive and forget, which is why we get stuck in situations like this, but you, my dear, need to reach that "fuck it" point and move on. You have been sucked into the horrific nightmare that the Libra/Aries dynamic can be and you need to get yourself out.
Most Libra guys are a fucking mess. At least the ones who show behavior like this one (and all the others that women bitch about) has are a mess. A mess NOT worth sticking around for.
Also, I think your Leo moon just needs to get the fuck over it and realize that someone may just be using you for your lady bits and not really be into you more than that. You seem to be more upset that you aren't ending this on YOUR terms, which is also very Leo-esque, so you cling on, trying to win advantage in this situation. It also kinda explains why you allow yourself to be strung along with his bullshit tactics.
Get that shit in check, yo. It's more damaging to you than helpful, tbh.
I'm happy you understand these parts of me Rocky! I'm a sucker for hot young things who do me right! It hooks me and I can get pretty obsessive (though not openly to them). It's not just him I am like this with... There is a Leo who lives in England I have had this crazy long distance sexual thing with for FIVE FUCKING YEARS! It's ridiculous!I don't even know what my terms would be to end these arrangements I'm such an expert at setting myself up in! With the Leo in England, and it seems with this Leeb, and the new Gemini... I am happy to just carry on in these weird "free love and sex" spaces until the end of time... or until they fall in love and get married to someone else... which is fucked in the head! Apparently I subscribe more to Polyamory than I do to monogamy.
The other day I was so ready to just write them all off because I'm so over being disposed of when they fall in love, leave the country without saying good-bye, and ignore me for a month. I'm still in the mood for that... I have decided I will no longer keep contact with Leo. And I sure as shit aint drawing the Leeb situation out for 5 years. And Gem... we'll always be friends...
Leo has fallen in love and I think he will marry this girl... It's a good match and I'm happy he's happy... but I'm sad for me. Leo is the only one I've actually mourned with tears. I discovered a lot about myself sexually through him. I went through my sexual awakening with him, and we both adore the shit out of each other still... but sexual stuff has dissipated from both sides... him because of falling in love and wanting to be loyal, and me, because Leeb has been in my more immediate vicinity keeping me occupied. I remember asking the universe to bring me someone who I could have the same 'free' arrangement with as Leo, just who lives closer so we could actually get it on! And that's exactly what I got!
My sexuality has shifted though (WAIT UNTIL YOU START SEEING POSTS ABOUT THE NEW ONE! You're gonna think I couldn't possibly be more fucked in the head than I have been with these guys... this one may floor you though!) and now I'm learning more about tantric sex... enter the water boys in this realm! Fire and air dudes are all about eros... and so I'm wanting lovers whose energies are more aligned with the tantric and cosmic areas of sex... not just fucking!
Guess it needs to be out with the old, for me to make space in my life/universe for new ones!
The other day I was so ready to just write them all off because I'm so over being disposed of when they fall in love, leave the country without saying good-bye, and ignore me for a month. I'm still in the mood for that... I have decided I will no longer keep contact with Leo. And I sure as shit aint drawing the Leeb situation out for 5 years. And Gem... we'll always be friends...
Leo has fallen in love and I think he will marry this girl... It's a good match and I'm happy he's happy... but I'm sad for me. Leo is the only one I've actually mourned with tears. I discovered a lot about myself sexually through him. I went through my sexual awakening with him, and we both adore the shit out of each other still... but sexual stuff has dissipated from both sides... him because of falling in love and wanting to be loyal, and me, because Leeb has been in my more immediate vicinity keeping me occupied. I remember asking the universe to bring me someone who I could have the same 'free' arrangement with as Leo, just who lives closer so we could actually get it on! And that's exactly what I got!
My sexuality has shifted though (WAIT UNTIL YOU START SEEING POSTS ABOUT THE NEW ONE! You're gonna think I couldn't possibly be more fucked in the head than I have been with these guys... this one may floor you though!) and now I'm learning more about tantric sex... enter the water boys in this realm! Fire and air dudes are all about eros... and so I'm wanting lovers whose energies are more aligned with the tantric and cosmic areas of sex... not just fucking!
Guess it needs to be out with the old, for me to make space in my life/universe for new ones!
Posted by geminicandIe
He told you he is in love with your vagina? lol
Girl, clues are everywhere. He doesn't care about you beyond the vag. He found another vagina/things to do in life and you should find another penis to fill your...time with😄
lol this ^^^
Posted by lotuslily
The other day I was so ready to just write them all off because I'm so over being disposed of when they fall in love, leave the country without saying good-bye, and ignore me for a month. I'm still in the mood for that... I have decided I will no longer keep contact with Leo. And I sure as shit aint drawing the Leeb situation out for 5 years. And Gem... we'll always be friends...
(cut to make room for response)
That's mostly why I ended mine. I dunno about you, but when I have a fwb, I still expect the friend treatment (they were friends prior to it anyway). Sure, they can get the goods, but treat me decently. I am not a booty call and they should be respectful that I've agreed to such an arrangement with them.
Some guys just get stupid about it because they're focused on sex. The ones I dealt with claimed the friend bit, but did a really shitty, half assed job with it. I grew tired of such shitty friend treatment and then they had access to the goods. I'd be okay with it for a bit, because it was about the sex, but the combination of questionable treatment plus giving it up just didn't sit well after awhile. ...and they were dropped like that.
Fwb can be tricky like that. Everyone has their own standards for it.
In regard to the "polyamory" bit, do as you like, but I seriously think that you're substituting sex as a "relationship" holder, which is why you're having the issues that you have. Whether you'll admit it or not, there is a form of emotional attachment involved when you get with these guys and it's fucking with you. The sooner you realize how negatively this is affecting you, the better. When I started to feel bits and pieces of that with the last dude, I knew it was time to end it because that is just not good for the self esteem/psyche.
In your situation, if you ever want to settle down/get into a serious relationship, you're going to have some issues because you've conditioned yourself to be emotionally stunted.
But whatever you choose to do. Just don't continue with self destructive behavior is all. Fwb or not, it's supposed to be fun, and when it starts getting emotionally damaging, it's time to move on.
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Yeah... that guy!
So... new thing happened. On 9 Jan I discovered on Instagram (when he posted a pic from Orlando) that he had left Africa to go work on a yacht in Florida.
He didn't tell me he was going or say "Hey, thanks for lending me your vagina for a year and a half, I'm going my own way now, thanks for everything, peace!" or anything... it kinda stung.
I also found out none of his friends knew he was leaving either. His friends found out in the same way I found out att he same time I found out. So i'm kinda releived I didn't get treated any worse than his friends.
Then before I blazed my guns at him, I thought I'd check to see if he was going for good or if he was coming back anytime soon....
Realistically, he is not my bf and doesn't have to tell me anything. IT would have just been common courtesy after banging me for over a year and a half to let me know I'd have to find a new lover.
Instead he had still been speaking to me like he was still at home and wanting to do me like he could come over the next week. It was so weird!
Anyway, so he said he'd back soon... I asked when and he said he wasn't sure of exactly when yet, but soon. And then we carried on sexting each other as we did before he left.
Last week he told me he misses me too! I asked him if he just misses my vagina and he said no, he misses me too because we have the best sex and I'm the only one he can play dirty with. HE asked if I just miss his penis and I told him I def miss his penis but that I also really enjoy our time together and that I have a lot of fun with him, so I miss him too.
Last year at this time of year he went and worked on a yacht in Thailand for around a month and a half. So it's possible that he's coming back soon.
But... he's changed his city of residence to Fort Lauderdale on fb now... What if he's not coming back soon? Why won't he just be straight with me? Like why not just tell me he's leaving and going overseas? Why not just tell me he's not coming back?
I don't really want to ask him again when he's coming back... I'm not his gf and I don't want to put heaviness on his working holiday by speaking about the end of it if he's still enjoying the escape of his life here...