Im dating wishy washy libra and I am ready to jump ship! Love him to death but the ignoring and then coming back is really Pissing me off. I dont know whether to stay or leave
Becoming VERY impatient
He's told me that he wants to settle down and up until this past Saurday we spent EVERY weekend together and a few days out of the week. We would talk repeatedly on the phone. ugh.
This is happened one other time. I told him how it REALLY stressed me out. I asked him to never do that 2 me again and he agreed. Im growing impatient with the "running". Plus AQ's dont have patience anyway,lol
Posted by amethyst2002
They do that. They're super hot, talk about future stuff, etc. Then reality sinks in and they start rethinking. Their scales start swaying back and forth as they try to find their balance.
And if it's just since this past Saturday, then why the impatience? Getting pushy and impatient will NOT help matters any.
Posted by MissAQ4real
Im dating wishy washy libra and I am ready to jump ship! Love him to death but the ignoring and then coming back is really Pissing me off. I dont know whether to stay or leave
ohh yeah, they def. do that... try keeping yourself busy, go out for the time being. 🙂
It's so very typical for Libras to be like this, even my own fascinating and infuriating Libra beloved. I'm basically Patience And Acceptance Personified, so I don't have as much issue with this lil personality quirk. When he goes off in his head, or suddenly pulls away after things have been so close and lovely.. I take a deep breath.. did I REALLY do anything to hurt or piss him off? No? Okay, so I'll let him get his head straight. Take all the time you want, baby boy.. I'm not going anywhere. But I'm also not sitting around, fuming and waiting for you to "make it all better" for me. I'm going to do stuff *I* love... take a long bubble bath... get my hair did.. buy those cute sandals I wanted.. read that new book I never got around to, cuz we've been cuddling up with movies or going out with friends lately... call my Sag BFF and talk her ear off for 3 hours... go for a walk in the park... play catch with my boys... have lunch with a friend... spend hours in a thrift store... paint my toenails... get dolled up for no reason at all but to feel pretty.... there are a hundred things I can do besides sitting around wondering what's going on in his head and messing my own head up doing it. And when he returns, I never ever make him feel bad or guilty for needing to do whatever it is he does when he's got something to work out... which is like I have given him an incredible gift. He's SO appreciative of my love and understanding, he comes back sweeter and hotter than ever!
Just since Saturday is nothing. Learn to accept this, and his "trips" get shorter and shorter. Fight it or demand he changes something so intrinsic to his personality, watch the trips get longer and longer, until one day the rubber band breaks and he doesn't snap back towards you again. If you can't find patience now, if it really burns you up THAT much how he goes hot and cold and takes his effing sweet time deciding... better jump ship now, cuz it will only fuck you up more later, when you're even MORE in love with him and emotionally invested. Don't make this so hard, and don't make YOUR emotions and feelings HIS responsibility.. they're YOURS. Now do something constructive with them!
Just since Saturday is nothing. Learn to accept this, and his "trips" get shorter and shorter. Fight it or demand he changes something so intrinsic to his personality, watch the trips get longer and longer, until one day the rubber band breaks and he doesn't snap back towards you again. If you can't find patience now, if it really burns you up THAT much how he goes hot and cold and takes his effing sweet time deciding... better jump ship now, cuz it will only fuck you up more later, when you're even MORE in love with him and emotionally invested. Don't make this so hard, and don't make YOUR emotions and feelings HIS responsibility.. they're YOURS. Now do something constructive with them!
Nefer are you married to your libra?? Am sorry but reading your paragraph above cemented it for me.
Am not the kind of woman to say ok darling,i'll just keep myself busy while you sulk and pull away.
Thats just not how a partnership should be. And when he returns "I never ever make him feel bad or guilty"
Come on yes everyone needs space thats why i go jogging,my aries go gym,i go for a coffee with the girls,my aries a drink with the boys.
However if there is an issue we both discuss it,park it then move on. None of that sulking bullcrap that libras tend to do.
Am not judging you but dont be a door mat!!
Am not the kind of woman to say ok darling,i'll just keep myself busy while you sulk and pull away.
Thats just not how a partnership should be. And when he returns "I never ever make him feel bad or guilty"
Come on yes everyone needs space thats why i go jogging,my aries go gym,i go for a coffee with the girls,my aries a drink with the boys.
However if there is an issue we both discuss it,park it then move on. None of that sulking bullcrap that libras tend to do.
Am not judging you but dont be a door mat!!
No, we're not married, but I assure you that we're much closer to it than YOU are to your Libra o.O You really don't understand Libras at all do you?! Well, I suppose that's understandable, since you aren't actually even DATING one, you're just stalking him and obsessing over him AND playing mind fuck games with his Aqua brother.. all behind your Aries' back. I LIVE with my Libra and I don't have (emotional) affairs on him, either. Really? You're going to talk about how relationships SHOULD be? Especially ones with Libras?! Really? No, REALLY?!
This isn't about being a doormat.. it's about not sitting around obsessing/fuming and getting yourself worked up into a fine tizzy because someone needed space and time to work something out for themselves. It's about not getting yourself so obsessed and off-balance and pissed off that you actually make it worse for BOTH of you. Sitting around feeling pissy over a man is counter-productive, doesn't help anything, and feels shitty to any woman. (Well, maybe not to a Scorp - probably business as usual for you, huh?) It's about taking responsibility for YOUR OWN feelings and emotions and not putting it all on him to make you feel happy and secure. Yes, he's PART of it.. but he's not ALL of it. You have to keep YOURSELF sane when things don't go as you want/plan.... also not your strong suit, eh, Scorp? It's about not blowing the fuck up and pushing him further away out of anger, hurt, spite, and vindictiveness. Awww shit.. I'm getting into uncharted territory with you again, huh? Whoops.
When people are accepting of their partner's needs and of their way of working things out for themselves... it's much easier to discuss those things calmly and actually work it out for both. Not making him feel bad or guilty is to NOT go off, "How dare you?! You SAID you wouldn't ever pull away again! You lied to me!" etc etc. NOT making him feel bad or guilty is to say, "I feel very confused and uncomfortable when I don't hear from you for days. I start feeling worried and uneasy, afraid there's something you aren't telling me that I need to know. What do you think?"... that's not doormat. That's Strong and Vulnerable and opens to a REAL convo about what happened, not just a defensive, angry fight about it! Whoops, I did it again.
This isn't about being a doormat.. it's about not sitting around obsessing/fuming and getting yourself worked up into a fine tizzy because someone needed space and time to work something out for themselves. It's about not getting yourself so obsessed and off-balance and pissed off that you actually make it worse for BOTH of you. Sitting around feeling pissy over a man is counter-productive, doesn't help anything, and feels shitty to any woman. (Well, maybe not to a Scorp - probably business as usual for you, huh?) It's about taking responsibility for YOUR OWN feelings and emotions and not putting it all on him to make you feel happy and secure. Yes, he's PART of it.. but he's not ALL of it. You have to keep YOURSELF sane when things don't go as you want/plan.... also not your strong suit, eh, Scorp? It's about not blowing the fuck up and pushing him further away out of anger, hurt, spite, and vindictiveness. Awww shit.. I'm getting into uncharted territory with you again, huh? Whoops.
When people are accepting of their partner's needs and of their way of working things out for themselves... it's much easier to discuss those things calmly and actually work it out for both. Not making him feel bad or guilty is to NOT go off, "How dare you?! You SAID you wouldn't ever pull away again! You lied to me!" etc etc. NOT making him feel bad or guilty is to say, "I feel very confused and uncomfortable when I don't hear from you for days. I start feeling worried and uneasy, afraid there's something you aren't telling me that I need to know. What do you think?"... that's not doormat. That's Strong and Vulnerable and opens to a REAL convo about what happened, not just a defensive, angry fight about it! Whoops, I did it again.
Three cheers for Nefer!
We can be moody people. We are generally happy go lucky types but everyone has bad days. If I get into a mood the last thing I'd want to hear is a woman complaining about that mood, especially if it had nothing to do with her (which it probably doesn't).
If someone does something to put me into that mood, they would know it. If it isn't you don't get upset. Let us sort it out in our own heads. If you want to do something more than ignore it, ask. A simple "everything okay?" is great. If we say we are fine, we are fine... maybe not with everything but we are fine with you. The other stupid shit we think about all the time will sort itself out. Show us you are there if we need it and let it be our choice... people always say us Libra's don't make choices, well let us make this one.
BTW, I love this paragraph.
"When people are accepting of their partner's needs and of their way of working things out for themselves... it's much easier to discuss those things calmly and actually work it out for both. Not making him feel bad or guilty is to NOT go off, "How dare you?! You SAID you wouldn't ever pull away again! You lied to me!" etc etc. NOT making him feel bad or guilty is to say, "I feel very confused and uncomfortable when I don't hear from you for days. I start feeling worried and uneasy, afraid there's something you aren't telling me that I need to know. What do you think?"... that's not doormat. That's Strong and Vulnerable and opens to a REAL convo about what happened, not just a defensive, angry fight about it! Whoops, I did it again."
We can be moody people. We are generally happy go lucky types but everyone has bad days. If I get into a mood the last thing I'd want to hear is a woman complaining about that mood, especially if it had nothing to do with her (which it probably doesn't).
If someone does something to put me into that mood, they would know it. If it isn't you don't get upset. Let us sort it out in our own heads. If you want to do something more than ignore it, ask. A simple "everything okay?" is great. If we say we are fine, we are fine... maybe not with everything but we are fine with you. The other stupid shit we think about all the time will sort itself out. Show us you are there if we need it and let it be our choice... people always say us Libra's don't make choices, well let us make this one.
BTW, I love this paragraph.
"When people are accepting of their partner's needs and of their way of working things out for themselves... it's much easier to discuss those things calmly and actually work it out for both. Not making him feel bad or guilty is to NOT go off, "How dare you?! You SAID you wouldn't ever pull away again! You lied to me!" etc etc. NOT making him feel bad or guilty is to say, "I feel very confused and uncomfortable when I don't hear from you for days. I start feeling worried and uneasy, afraid there's something you aren't telling me that I need to know. What do you think?"... that's not doormat. That's Strong and Vulnerable and opens to a REAL convo about what happened, not just a defensive, angry fight about it! Whoops, I did it again."
sces and UGH. I will never ever do that again. He was lazy and content with everything. He was a fake baby baller and had no swag what so ever. Sex was GAWD AWFUL. I dealt with him for like 4 months only because he was super willing to spend the tiny bit of money he had. PLUS I walked all over him and had other guy friends over while he would be there. Maybe this is karma,lol
Posted by amethyst2002Posted by MissAQ4real
This is happened one other time. I told him how it REALLY stressed me out. I asked him to never do that 2 me again and he agreed. Im growing impatient with the "running". Plus AQ's dont have patience anyway,lol
If you really liked the guy, you'd be patient. Don't be so selfish about it.
How long did these occurrences happen? So far, you've mentioned one being as current as last Saturday. What the hell? That's nothing. Unless it's something that's been spanning over several weeks, why are you being so impatient/ridiculous about everything? How long have you been dating?
I'm an Aries and am known for being impatient, but Jesus, even I had patience with my Libra when he was having his moments.click to expand
I couldnt agree with u more. There is no way in hell-I would ever do this to a person I cared for. Granted-It may last only a few days and he called me just this morning (I didnt answer) BUT it is not acceptable to go do ure thing and come runnig back to me. I am in no way sitting around waiting on him. I have a very active life style . It just irritates me because I thought we were better than that. If I need my space which I do all the time-out of respect-I would let him know. I would never dip out and come skipping back like nothing happened. Its just tacky and a sign of weakness if u ask me.
Noone knows how to disappear better than an AQ. But because I have been cussed out so much for doing so lol-I had to find another way to "retreat" without hurting people and I expect the same treatment.
Noone knows how to disappear better than an AQ. But because I have been cussed out so much for doing so lol-I had to find another way to "retreat" without hurting people and I expect the same treatment.
Posted by FemmeScorpion
Nefer are you married to your libra?? Am sorry but reading your paragraph above cemented it for me.
Am not the kind of woman to say ok darling,i'll just keep myself busy while you sulk and pull away.
Thats just not how a partnership should be. And when he returns "I never ever make him feel bad or guilty"
Come on yes everyone needs space thats why i go jogging,my aries go gym,i go for a coffee with the girls,my aries a drink with the boys.
However if there is an issue we both discuss it,park it then move on. None of that sulking bullcrap that libras tend to do.
Am not judging you but dont be a door mat!!
I do what I am allowed to do. Was it wrong-of course it was. But I never really cared for him and I told him that. He just wouldnt go away. So I said oh well. I was mainly trying to push him away. I feel bad about how I treated him. But cut me some slack. I was VERY open and honest and made it clear that I didnt want to be with him. He insisted. He said within time I would grow to like him,lol.
Im not chastising anyone. I said I was growing impatient 9which just means this ship is preparing to sail) and if I CARED for a guy I wouldnt disappear on him without a "head up". He is free to be himself and live his life how he sees fit BUT that doesnt mean I have to accept it. I love Libra's and this is the first time that I have encountered this type of behavior. Im just being honest. Just be real with me.
Im not chastising anyone. I said I was growing impatient 9which just means this ship is preparing to sail) and if I CARED for a guy I wouldnt disappear on him without a "head up". He is free to be himself and live his life how he sees fit BUT that doesnt mean I have to accept it. I love Libra's and this is the first time that I have encountered this type of behavior. Im just being honest. Just be real with me.
Ive planted good seeds in this situation. I want this to work. I guess ive gotten used to certain everyday things and gestures. Stopping what I have become accustomed to abruptly- is traumatizing to my poor lil soft soul,lol.
I dont take 2 kindly to change. Im one of those-Dont start what u cant finish girls.
I want it to work, but if it doesnt-O well-Im on to the next one. Either way im thankful for the experience and lesson.
@ MissAQ4real "I would never dip out and come skipping back like nothing happened. Its just tacky and a sign of weakness if u ask me."
Touche-just this line alone shows you are very mature in your approach to relationships. Am sure you will find the right partner to compliment you.
I spoke to a libra guy @ work today and he confessed that yes he has a tendency to dissapear,ignore and go cold instead of man up and dealing with issues. He also said he can be very spiteful and say really mean/nasty things in a arguments.
Its weird but he felt the need to open up to me.
I think most libras are going through a sticky patch @ the moment in regards to relationships/partnership.
If you love/really care for him....stick with it. However make sure he knows disappearing like Casper aint washing with you know more.
If youve had enough leave him and move on to something else. Am not saying it will be easy,leaving a libra is never just a walk in the park BUT your happiness should take priority.
Peace.🙂
Touche-just this line alone shows you are very mature in your approach to relationships. Am sure you will find the right partner to compliment you.
I spoke to a libra guy @ work today and he confessed that yes he has a tendency to dissapear,ignore and go cold instead of man up and dealing with issues. He also said he can be very spiteful and say really mean/nasty things in a arguments.
Its weird but he felt the need to open up to me.
I think most libras are going through a sticky patch @ the moment in regards to relationships/partnership.
If you love/really care for him....stick with it. However make sure he knows disappearing like Casper aint washing with you know more.
If youve had enough leave him and move on to something else. Am not saying it will be easy,leaving a libra is never just a walk in the park BUT your happiness should take priority.
Peace.🙂
Posted by amethyst2002Posted by FemmeScorpion
Nefer are you married to your libra?? Am sorry but reading your paragraph above cemented it for me.
Am not the kind of woman to say ok darling,i'll just keep myself busy while you sulk and pull away.
Thats just not how a partnership should be. And when he returns "I never ever make him feel bad or guilty"
Come on yes everyone needs space thats why i go jogging,my aries go gym,i go for a coffee with the girls,my aries a drink with the boys.
However if there is an issue we both discuss it,park it then move on. None of that sulking bullcrap that libras tend to do.
Am not judging you but dont be a door mat!!
Says the chick who expects everyone else to be a doormat for her.click to expand
Hahaha not everything needs to be a argument ladies,i said reading the paragraph cemented it for me. That a libra guy and i will never work.
And your right playing the marter doesnot sit well with me!!
DXP did you run an ad for another drama queen?
Thanks babes. This was very insightful. I really appreciate it! Imma hang in there but at a distance. His sister and I are very close. She and him are very close. We've known each other for 20 summin years. So relationship or not, we will always be tight. Its like we just discovered each other. we will be just fine. I maybe a lil 2 blunt/stern with him. I will try a different approach. Maybe be a lil more gentle and inviting with my communication.
Posted by FemmeScorpion
@ MissAQ4real "I would never dip out and come skipping back like nothing happened. Its just tacky and a sign of weakness if u ask me."
Touche-just this line alone shows you are very mature in your approach to relationships. Am sure you will find the right partner to compliment you.
I spoke to a libra guy @ work today and he confessed that yes he has a tendency to dissapear,ignore and go cold instead of man up and dealing with issues. He also said he can be very spiteful and say really mean/nasty things in a arguments.
Its weird but he felt the need to open up to me.
I think most libras are going through a sticky patch @ the moment in regards to relationships/partnership.
If you love/really care for him....stick with it. However make sure he knows disappearing like Casper aint washing with you know more.
If youve had enough leave him and move on to something else. Am not saying it will be easy,leaving a libra is never just a walk in the park BUT your happiness should take priority.
Peace.🙂
BLOWS KISSES TO VAL XXXXXXXOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
^ ditto to Val.
I really worry when people think 'disappearing acts' are acceptable. They can fast turn into control mechanisms or just easy ways out.
A lot of these traits below shows on this thread;
Libra, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn---> Cardinal signs can have these traits can be inconsiderate, controlling and demanding, as they feel their way is what's best for others to follow. They lead others towards the supposed prize, even though they may not have figured out what the purpose of the game is. It's about here and now...
Aqua, Scorp, Taurus, Leo---> fixed can be inflexible, rigid, stubborn, opinionated and single-minded. They will only go for the prize with the intent to finish no matter the cost and will want to see into the future.
And Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, Sag --> mutable signs mutable signs as more unstable and wavering, less strong-willed, than either cardinal or fixed signs they basically mutate towards other people's tendencies to get to the prize, they will also be trying to 'tweek' little characteristics of those they are following but making the leaders think it was their idea 😄
yes I stole some from Wikipedia but it explained it with few words 😛 Watch out for what mechanism the sign is using to get what they want, bottom line, we all want to win somehow 😉
Anywho, (Val25's a fellow Aqua) If it bugs you MissAQ4real, tell him and if it carries on or the disappearing act increases in length, walk away (you are an Aqua, so adapting is not a recommendation, as it's going against your core 😛 plus what adapting is he really doing for you? huh?) he should include you and not alienate, that's what relationships are... after the trust is achieved on both sides as you are both signs that communicate in a similar manner anyway.
I really think both parties in the relationship should be putting equal efforts towards understanding each other's 'needs' at the whichever point they are. I doubt we will ever fully understand another human as we do not fully understand ourselves.
Disappearing acts are okay if you see it coming i.e. if your partner needs space to deal with side issues, great, whatever, do your thing!
It is not okay when they keep going off with no reason... it indicates a compatibility issue to me where the person needs air for whatever reason.
I really worry when people think 'disappearing acts' are acceptable. They can fast turn into control mechanisms or just easy ways out.
A lot of these traits below shows on this thread;
Libra, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn---> Cardinal signs can have these traits can be inconsiderate, controlling and demanding, as they feel their way is what's best for others to follow. They lead others towards the supposed prize, even though they may not have figured out what the purpose of the game is. It's about here and now...
Aqua, Scorp, Taurus, Leo---> fixed can be inflexible, rigid, stubborn, opinionated and single-minded. They will only go for the prize with the intent to finish no matter the cost and will want to see into the future.
And Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, Sag --> mutable signs mutable signs as more unstable and wavering, less strong-willed, than either cardinal or fixed signs they basically mutate towards other people's tendencies to get to the prize, they will also be trying to 'tweek' little characteristics of those they are following but making the leaders think it was their idea 😄
yes I stole some from Wikipedia but it explained it with few words 😛 Watch out for what mechanism the sign is using to get what they want, bottom line, we all want to win somehow 😉
Anywho, (Val25's a fellow Aqua) If it bugs you MissAQ4real, tell him and if it carries on or the disappearing act increases in length, walk away (you are an Aqua, so adapting is not a recommendation, as it's going against your core 😛 plus what adapting is he really doing for you? huh?) he should include you and not alienate, that's what relationships are... after the trust is achieved on both sides as you are both signs that communicate in a similar manner anyway.
I really think both parties in the relationship should be putting equal efforts towards understanding each other's 'needs' at the whichever point they are. I doubt we will ever fully understand another human as we do not fully understand ourselves.
Disappearing acts are okay if you see it coming i.e. if your partner needs space to deal with side issues, great, whatever, do your thing!
It is not okay when they keep going off with no reason... it indicates a compatibility issue to me where the person needs air for whatever reason.
I agree. Thanks. Great advice
Posted by zenalchemy
^ ditto to Val.
I really worry when people think 'disappearing acts' are acceptable. They can fast turn into control mechanisms or just easy ways out.
A lot of these traits below shows on this thread;
Libra, Aries, Cancer, Capricorn---> Cardinal signs can have these traits can be inconsiderate, controlling and demanding, as they feel their way is what's best for others to follow. They lead others towards the supposed prize, even though they may not have figured out what the purpose of the game is. It's about here and now...
Aqua, Scorp, Taurus, Leo---> fixed can be inflexible, rigid, stubborn, opinionated and single-minded. They will only go for the prize with the intent to finish no matter the cost and will want to see into the future.
And Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, Sag --> mutable signs mutable signs as more unstable and wavering, less strong-willed, than either cardinal or fixed signs they basically mutate towards other people's tendencies to get to the prize, they will also be trying to 'tweek' little characteristics of those they are following but making the leaders think it was their idea 😄
yes I stole some from Wikipedia but it explained it with few words 😛 Watch out for what mechanism the sign is using to get what they want, bottom line, we all want to win somehow 😉
Anywho, (Val25's a fellow Aqua) If it bugs you MissAQ4real, tell him and if it carries on or the disappearing act increases in length, walk away (you are an Aqua, so adapting is not a recommendation, as it's going against your core 😛 plus what adapting is he really doing for you? huh?) he should include you and not alienate, that's what relationships are... after the trust is achieved on both sides as you are both signs that communicate in a similar manner anyway.
I really think both parties in the relationship should be putting equal efforts towards understanding each other's 'needs' at the whichever point they are. I doubt we will ever fully understand another human as we do not fully understand ourselves.
Disappearing acts are okay if you see it coming i.e. if your partner needs space to deal with side issues, great, whatever, do your thing!
It is not okay when they keep going off with no reason... it indicates a compatibility issue to me where the person needs air for whatever reason.
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